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Can't catch a break, but even if I did- I don't think I'll be able to either.

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Autism: If something changes, I will cry.

ADHD: If nothing changes, I will cry.

ADHD/Autism comorbity: I will cry.

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HEY! HEY, YOU! YEAH! YOU!

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Your friends aren't your therapists"?

If you've been on the internet enough, I think it's a sentiment that's pretty difficult to miss.

But you know what that means, right?

It's meant to warn people not to place too much personal baggage onto their friends when they should be unpacking it with a professional. It's to say that venting to your friends shouldn't be your main source of coping. That is to say: most of your friends are probably unqualified to untangle complex emotional & mental health problems, and if you expect them to endlessly listen to your problems & have them help "fix" you, then that's usually going to end up in stress and tension in your relationship (or worse).

Do you know what "Your friends aren't your therapists" DOESN'T mean?

It DOESN'T mean that you shouldn't ever seek any emotional support from your friends or that you should keep all your problems to yourself.

Yes, it's important to establish boundaries in all your relationships. If there's something you'd rather not hear from your friends (and vice versa) that should be talked about if it ever becomes relevant. If your friend is easily overwhelmed by a lot of emotion/stimulus, then you shouldn't dump serious emotional things without checking in to see if it's okay first. Over time, in a healthy communicative relationship, you get a feel for what's okay and what's not.

But goodness fucking me when I see folks say that they don't deserve to express their harder emotions because "friends aren't your therapists" I just... I mean woof y'all!

What kind of friend is a friend that doesn't care if you're upset? What kind of friend sees you struggling with something and tells you to deal with your own problems because they don't owe you anything? What kind of friend comes around only if you hide your pain at all times?

A fair-weather friend, that's what kind. A friend that's only around for the good times, and goes away during (metaphorical) storms.

If someone only wants to be a fair-weather friend, that's their prerogative. But I'm telling you all that you deserve the kind of friendship where your friends actually give a fuck about you. You deserve to take up space sometimes. You deserve to get heavy things off your chest with someone you love and trust.

If you want better, stronger, healthier friendships, it's important to understand that intimacy is about Knowing and Seeing and Experiencing someone authentically. Taking off whatever mask we wear to get through the world and being ourselves and sharing that with another person. Anger, pain, grief... tackling these issues with each other builds trust and intimacy and makes everyone involved feel more important & needed & cared about. Isn't that what all this is for?

Anyway, this is all to say: be open about your emotions. Communicate with your friends (& tbh in all your relationships). Learn each other's boundaries, but don't shut each other out just because emotions are scary to navigate at times.

Please be kinder to yourself. Seek intimate friendships, AND seek professional help when you need more support than your friends can provide. Just don't assume your friends can't give you any support! Assume that they love you and trust that they will tell you if they're at their limit. And if they *are* at their limit or if they just aren't comfortable with some conversations, respect that & don't try to force it onto them.

This has been a PSA. Thank you.

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eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

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Having a body sucks guys

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This disclaimer pops up whenever I start talking

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not gonna become a repost account but i think about “4” “dumb fuck” every day

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Took months of procrastination but I finally finished this. For bitches like me who wanna make a gymsona but are fuckin indecisive. An in-depth look at what Pokemon Type you should train

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A psa to my youngest followers:

- An older adult solely hanging with younger teens (I’m talking 25yo & 15yo) and who doesn’t seem to have any other adult friend is a red flag.

- An older adult talking to a younger teen and saying stuff like “you’re the only one who understands me” “I’d hurt myself if you weren’t there” “You’re my only friend” is a red flag.

- Someone (regardless of age) who constantly ends up in discourse & drama is a red flag.

- If you’re afraid to talk to your friend(s), if you feel like you’ve got to tiptoe as to not set them off and get yelled at/ostracized/worse, that’s a red flag.

Please take care.

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Does anyone else get too tired to have emotions? Anytime I mention it to a doctor or therapist or something they just go “That doesn’t happen”. Yo dude, I’m Autistic. Having emotions requires energy and effort and when I’m exhausted, frankly, I don’t give a damn.

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andrew tate taking a shot at greta thunberg out of nowhere, her response becoming one of the top 25 most liked tweets of all time and then she just moves on with her day, tate getting so fucking mad that he posts a 2 minute response video featuring a box from a romanian pizza chain, romanian authorities then arresting him for human trafficking because the pizza box let them know he was in the country … there is hope in the world

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Misconceptions About Type 3

In general, I think the image types are hard for people to conceptualize. Being heart last is more common than being heart first (or probably even heart second). 3 descriptions can fall short, but outside perhaps being geared a bit too much towards the social instinct, 3s and 3 fixers who don't see themselves in 3 are more often in denial of their 3 traits than misinterpreting the descriptions (or assuming subtype descriptions are all encompassing).

3s are hardworking, type A individuals who push themselves to be the very best: This description is definitely fitting for some 3s, but is not a requirement for being a 3 core or even a 3 fixer. As an image type who uses external merits to derive worth, this type can fall into the pattern of wanting to "look good" or maintain an image even when they do not have the skills or energy to actually maintain that image. Wanting to do as little as possible to get what you want, control your self image, or maintain what you wish to maintain isn't anti-3 nor even uncommon with type 3. A 3 might not even want to be "the very best" as much as it just wants something to "prove" their own worth or something that they can tie to their self image that is good. Being "above average" but realistically understanding that you cannot be the best is still a 3 oriented sentiment.

Type 3 specifically wants to look good and will do anything to maintain their image: Again, this can fit some 3s but misses describing others. 3 influence (and in general, strong heart influence) seeks to control their image both in how they are perceived and how they perceive themselves to be. For 3s especially, this is based on traits that are seen as valued to them, will help them to reach their goals/get them what they want, or will be valued by others. If the 3 values being, say, intimidating, or are consistently getting pigeonholed into being seen as something they have no control over, the image they present or the self they cultivate may not be what is typically described as appealing or even good. If the 3 is constantly labeled as "lazy, villainous, or cruel," a 3 could integrate these traits into their presentation purely to provide a false sense of control over their own image. 3s may even find it appealing when others are disturbed or repulsed by them, as it bolsters that they are what they value. There is always an external tie of course, but this tie is not always a conscious one. On the other side of things, 3s are not necessarily immoral, unconcerned for their relationships, and willing to entirely throw their principles away for what they desire. Morality and principle are something that most people have regardless of type. While 3 cares about the image and their presentation, they still care that they are something that they can see as having worth. Being someone who only cares about how they're perceived and cannot match that with how they truly are is something many 3s struggle with and particularly moral or principled 3s aren't going to give up on morality, especially if being good and having a strong sense of reliability and moral code is how they view themselves to be. It's also worth noting that not every 3 is actually good at knowing how things will come across (even if they are oriented around their image), there's a lot of 3s that lack awareness of how their behavior actually gets interpreted by others and will actively make themselves look terrible.

3s only do things for the sake of their image: This is a common sentiment expressed by 3 fixers who will defend not being a 3 influenced when they mistype as 5, especially if they are academically oriented or enjoy learning/researching. 3s and those influenced by it are especially attuned to what is valued. In this example, intellect, being a lifetime learner, and being useful/self sufficient are all things that are both socially valued and things that people tend to like in general. 3s have interests too and, as assertive types, are connected to what they want. 3s will also go after what they want and what they genuinely enjoy because they enjoy it. They will often do it in a way that will bolster their self worth and has some (often unintentional, unconsciously set up) tie to the external, but like every type not everything is exclusively to feed the fixation.

3s are prideful and shameless: Oh they will certainly present this way, but the majority of 3s will be pretty connected to their sense of shame. It's kind of the same thing that happens with 9, as the 9 archetype is often depicted as being very disconnected from anger to the point of lacking awareness of it, but in reality most 9s struggle heavily with passive aggression and internal anger. 3s are often just as aware and connected to their internal insecurity and desire to be worth something as they are of their prideful, arrogant nature. 3s are ones that will overestimate their own own abilities, but many are painfully aware and moved by not being good enough or feel as though they are behind in some way.

Sp 3s are [insert countertype/Naranjo description]: I usually don't go directly after Naranjo or countertype, but the big thing I've noticed that this particular description is missing sp3s connection to the assertive triad and over eliminates the image orientation. This description is consistent with the way a lot of sp3s see and try to present themselves, as sp does remove a bit of the external orientation 3 typically has and brings emphasis on trying to generate a strong sense of self worth through competition with the self. For those typing exclusively off of the descriptions though, it's worth noting that these descriptions tend to also strongly resembles the 6 mindset. Even if this type often will take issue with their own image orientation and often does present and think of themselves as "anti-vanity" or even genuine, every image core will be focused on image, presentation, and identity as is typical of the heart triad.

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Stupid dumb little comic

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Have you heard about the looking glass theory? In short it’s defined as the following:

“It is described as our reflection of how we think we appear to others.[2] Cooley takes into account three steps when using "the looking glass self". Step one is how one imagines one looks to other people. Step two is how one imagines the judgment of others based on how one thinks they view them. Step three is how one thinks of how the person views them based on their previous judgments.[3]According to Lisa McIntyre's The Practical Skeptic: Core Concepts in Sociology, the concept of the looking-glass self expresses the tendency for one to understand oneself through the perception which others may hold of them” wikipedia lol.

I was wondering if you think our perception of how other people view us affects how we determine our typology. Also do you think some people are more prone to use this type of logic than others due to either their outside circumstances/and or innate personality.

IEE IDENTIFIED 😂

Actually this is the first time I've seen this theory named and that this can be very impactful in the typing process for some (cough hack, me in particular). In general, people receive a lot of feedback, both positive and negative, from others. Biologically, at least neurotypical folks are inclined to be naturally attuned to things such as body language, how our environment responds to us, etc for the sake of survival since we are a socially oriented species. Unless you're completely removed from others physically (or I guess even mentally, which does happen to some but this is a lot more rare of a quality than I think people expect it to be), part of your self conception is probably going to have attributes of that feedback tracked to it. Typology often necessitates asking others for opinions on our self typings or how they perceive us as well. Theories such as OPS, social approach theorem, etc, are particularly reliant on this, as their foundation lies on how we interact with other people. There are definitely some people are more prone to this than others. Attachment types in the enneagram (such as myself hahah...) will often reference other's opinions of them when describing their own self typings and will often list comparisons of their personality to others in their self description. These types are unconsciously adaptive and externally referencing, hence have a more mutable sense of self that gets semi-difficult to narrow down, hence they're ore inclined to use this logic, whether they notice they do or not. I think high Fe/Te (both in mbti and OPS) would probably be more inclined to this as well because these functions are somewhat oriented around external frames of reference. I could see Si/Se doing this a bit more as well just because they are looking for real and tangible information to base their conclusions off and other's opinions may verify what they believe about themselves.

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Your attention didn’t collapse. It was stolen by Johann Hari