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the recap series nobody asked for: i watch the rathbone/bruce holmes specials for the first time: episode 3: sherlock holmes and the voice of terror

my apologies to anyone who has up til now enjoyed reading my first thoughts on the interpretation & adaptation of this violin playing junkie cunt + his boy bsf. because i have almost no thoughts this time.

the following is something more like a visual essay made up of what notes i did take that essentially proves as much.

final thoughts:

very few deductions in this movie. or clues. holmes is about as exhaustingly patriotic as you’d expect and that eats up most of the runtime. to be honest i think i was lost from the jump because i wasn't even sure what we were trying to work out. who the voice of terror is? what his next moves are? how to stop them? is the voice of terror planning these things or just announcing them? what radio station are they even on? how similar is the plot to radio rebel? what's the goal here? where am i?

not to mention i am terrible at remembering faces so combine that with incredibly shadowy noir lighting and 5 caucasian men in their 40s-60s and i'm just. gone.

wasn't really truly a holmes adaptation, at least not to me, and i think it's my first genuine encounter with noir (hence my freaking out because it really is so visually striking) so i'm gonna say i actually did good with finding legibility where i could. love you

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hope nobody has been enjoying my thoughts on the rathbone holmes adaptations cuz i just finished sherlock holmes & the voice of terror (1942) and i fear the next instalment may be… perhaps more of a visual essay

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the recap series nobody asked for: i watch the rathbone/bruce holmes specials for the first time: episode 2: the adventures of sherlock holmes

[but, disclaimer, i’m mostly only curious about the characterisation, interpretation, & adaptation of the world itself + the violin playing junkie cunt + his boy bsf]

okay, so, james moriarty. 

we meet him at the start of this film right when he’s being exonerated by a jury; holmes rushes in at the last second but this isn’t legally blonde so moriarty walks free anyhow. for some reason they uber pool back to baker street together and in the hansom, moriarty declares he’s gonna concoct the Greatest Crime Ever Conceived Of to defeat holmes once and for all, or whatever, cuz holmes keeps fucking with his business. 

and-- like-- can we just-- i’m so tired. i’m so confused by the characterisation of james moriarty. he’s such a quintessential villain and yet it’s just that-- he IS a villain, always, so we never really give him any actual motivation.

i’ll concede that there exist some villains who their whole shtick is just being a hater, and it DOES work - but i don’t think of moriarty as a born hater. he doesn’t have the true and pure heart of a hater because a hater is still a lover -- of hating. and he’s not that passionate about crime, either: he says it himself! he wants to focus on abstract science after this! 

he tells that one guy in his office, 'ooh, okay, i’ll let you in on my plans, for the Big Crime... a Crime children will read about in history books...' and it’s like. why is so much crime in holmes stories this capital-c Crime? so often there’s this scooby doo element to it despite the fact it’s ostensibly adult entertainment. i dunno. i think holmes adaptations can honestly struggle to create real stakes for crimes and this is one of those times.

in saying that. i did really like moriarty getting gently and quietly pissed off at dawes about murdering a flower. loved all the greenhouse stuff actually. moriarty as a soft-spoken weird guy who’s really intense about his botanical exploits? weird as fuck. that’s compelling to me.

unfortunately it never gets more interesting than that. and honestly this whole film is lessened for its insistence on putting the cart before the horse, letting us know from the start that holmes is wasting his time on the relatively less important case only there to distract him. like, since when have we needed dramatic irony for a holmes story? doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose? aren't we supposed to be the ones in the dark, waiting to put it together? not to mention there’s barely any stakes for moriarty, besides wanting to fuck with holmes? 

sorry it just felt kind of scooby doo to me. see how i could be a born hater because i’m a hardcore lover of the things i love? 

speaking of. holmes and watson are really soft in this and i’m not being wilfully ignorant in my woobification.

there’s a bunch of great banter between them but neither of them are unkind to eachother or anyone else! and this thing i love from hound is back - the way rathbone + bruce throw in this thing of always looking back to see the other’s reaction, like, u caught that right? 

bruce’s watson is as bumbling as i’ve come to expect by now, but it’s mostly balanced by him being kind of a dick, too. sweet naive old man would be too much; at least most of the time it’s leveraged against a propensity to sour or judge people too quickly lol. 

neither disposition is really fundamentally watson but it’s not, like, offensively incorrect characterisation, just disappointingly far from the source material. like a blueberry muffin quest bar. tastes fine, i guess, for the use case, but in no way resembles the real thing.

this holmes could not be further from the 21st century sociopath we somehow broken-telephoned our way to. it’s weird; he even vaguely mentions this reputation for impoliteness, but then is nothing less than courteous and charming the rest of the film? 

even with watson. like, watson sees their target do one (1) suspect thing and races back to tell holmes instead of continuing to follow him. and holmes is like 'no, no, it's fine. it's totally the opposite of what i wanted you to do but it's fine.' and pats him on the shoulder.

it’s painfully affectionate actually. i honestly prefer my holmes/watson dynamics to have significantly more tallahassee (2003) energy. whatever.

BUT i WILL flag this again - holmes once more manipulating someone into being bait so as to escape the ‘shadow of death’.

me when i’m definitely not addicted to the high of observation+prediction+confirmation lol 😂 but im still hoping you risk your life for me just to know i was right

also, i’m not going to spoil it this time but there was another example of holmes in a disguise that in no way helped him fly under the radar, but i did NOT clock this one (actually made a separate note ragging on this guy, like, ‘this is actually who they adapted robert chase from’) and 100% felt like lucille bluth when he revealed himself. GENE??????? GENE PARMESAN????????????

final thing - goddamn the cinematography goes so insanely hard. leon shamroy, aka the DOP tied for the most oscar nominations for cinematography in history, lets it fucking rip. i was watching this on dailymotion so my caps aren’t great but with a narrative this mid i was mostly enthralled by the use of light & composition which was a signiiiiificant improvement on hound. this shit is so beautiful. 

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HOUSE M.D (2004-2012)

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the recap series nobody asked for: i watch the rathbone/bruce holmes specials for the first time: episode 1: the hound of the baskervilles

*except i only decided to do this after watching it, so these notes are mostly from memory. i’ll be better next time i promise

for context: i specifically love analysing holmes adaptations with regard to characterisation! what did they prioritise! how’d they do that! what did they not keep! what survived nonetheless, and even more interesting, what incidental subtext survived in consequence?

i think the basis for these recaps is best summarised by my favourite letterboxd review for hound: “I don't think there's anything at all interesting about watching a detective who's always fucking right about everything.” i do! particularly, cuz i wanna see how they’ve chosen to interpret the world & the detective (“Violin playing junkie cunt.” as so aptly described by said reviewer)

this is the first film we’re introduced to the rathbone/bruce incarnations of holmes & watson, and while i’m not totally sold on bruce’s watson just yet, from the very first scene, they totally know what they’re doing with holmes. i.e., ernest pascal understands he fundamentally dgaf. beyond intellectualism, definitely beyond truth or justice, it’s just for the love of the game. and especially, a love of proving how good he is at the game.

in this very first exchange, holmes asks watson what he might deduce from the cane doctor mortimer left downstairs. watson makes a few observations, including that the ‘CCH’ plaque might stand for something-something-Hunt, and holmes rips into him before providing his own analysis in return (‘really, watson, you’ve excelled yourself.’ ‘does anything escape me?’ ‘almost everything, my dear fellow.’) 

holmes tells watson CCH is probably referring to cherring cross hospital, predicts doctor mortimer will be back in a few moments -- and, get this -- he’s proven correct on both counts.

but the best part about this is, both times, rathbone does this little look back over to watson. like, u hear that? whatd i fucking say? am i goated or am i goated? 

mortimer tells them about the case, later we meet his godson henry, eventually everyone gets together at the northumberland hotel to figure out next moves. holmes simply announces he wants watson to go back to dartmoor with henry and he’s like... alr bet. 

.............so there's that.

i’ve heard people describe bruce’s watson as quintissentially bumbling and that may be true but he’s also serving attack dog. (a... hound... if you will). obsessed with him sitting down to write to holmes and the second he hears someone at his door he pulls out the gun he not only brought but unpacked into his bureau. one thing about john watson, my dude stays strapped!

interestingly they spend zero time AT ALL on any exposition regarding holmes/watson’s regular lives in london. a big chunk of this in the middle is just setting up subplots and i found myself thinking, like, does watson not have a job in this version? he could just pack up and go to dartmoor with henry and write holmes letters about hanging out in the countryside? “my dear holmes. pretty sure the staff are still trying to kill us. today henry and i went for a walk in the grimpen mire where the neighbours invited us to dinner. mr frankland called me the F slur and threatened to sue me and then mortimer coerced his mostly unwilling wife into doing a seance but miss stapleton bitched out before we could even speak with sir charles. love, watson” like does this man not have patients to be attending to? anyway. the seance scenes WERE beautifully lit

the moment this fucking HARMONICA SALESMAN showed up casually strolling the grimpen mire i was like. oh this is so my dude. not only was i narratively aware that’s sherlock holmes but also, as in, basil rathbone and ernest pascal have fucking nailed this dude. that is a violin playing junkie cunt if i've ever seen one.

watson is invited via ransom note to one of the neolithic stone huts on the southeast edge of the grimpen mire where -- get this -- the harmonica salesman was not a genuine peddler of wares but, rather, the disguise holmes had been using to avoid arousing suspicion since he’d followed watson/henry to dartmoor right from the start of their trip. 

watson is pissed off at holmes for exploiting him and making him write those damn letters (dear john watson, today is gonna be a great day and here's why) and holmes drgaf because watson, like, exists to be exploited. and also, he was grateful for the help even if it was procured via manipulation. die mad.

because this is the neolithic stone hut on the southeast edge of the grimpen mire where holmes has ostensibly been living & peddling harmonicas for days he invites watson to kick back with a couple cans of sardines while he plays the violin watson hates that he brought maybe specifically because watson hates it.

and this whole exchange is just. so perfect. holmes is here for the love of the game and the game is like 90% about fucking with people and proving how goated he is, and both of those only really matter to him when it’s watson.

we coulda had a good life together... fuckin real good life... all we got now is the neolithic stone hut on the southeast edge of the grimpen mire 💔

they watch a dog kill a guy and the painting back at the manor allows holmes put it all together. but, crucially, for the love of the game, holmes gets on a train back to london with watson. or, at least, pretends to go back to london.

they're gonna get off at the next station and secretly return to dartmoor. because, he explains to watson, they’ve got to let the murderer think he’s gotten away with it first, let him try to kill henry that night - otherwise, they have no evidence.

don’t be ridiculous watson. i can’t believe you thought we were actually going back to london just because i said “we have to go back to london” and then made you get on a train back to london. let's be fucking serious

holmes decides they should gamble with henry’s life, rather than let the shadow of sudden death hang over him in perpetuity. making the decision to gamble with someone else’s life without their input? very holmes. but more than that, needing evidence, needing confirmation that what he thought was going to happen was in fact the truth? VERY holmes!!

sure, he gives the excuse that they need evidence for a court of law, but is that shadow he speaks about really for henry’s benefit? or, rather, is holmes the one that NEEDS to be sure, NEEDS to see his hypothesis about the killer + their motivations + their methods be proven right, lest the shadow of uncertainty hang over his own head? what if nobody sees him be fucking goated?

there’s other stuff, like holmes accidentally getting locked in a pit for a bit like this is fucking looney tunes & he just fell for a cardboard box with a piece of cheese in it, or watson being far too gullible which is partly holmes’ fault for telling him jack shit all the time. but anyway.

we wrap up in the parlour room, post-dog-attack and secondary-murder-attempt, and everything gets explained. you get it. but i particularly loved the final line we end on.

mortimer thanks holmes for being goated, holmes is like 'no big' and tells everyone he's gonna turn in for the night. and, then, turns back:

exactly! this is our violin playing junkie cunt! an addict! who loves the fucking game! this is the high! and i think holmes, on a balance, would’ve rather known he was right and seen henry murdered in the way he’d hypothesised than simply never known. it’s the same thing we see from that very first scene, when he looks over to watson to see that he got the CCH thing right. see? see how i knew before it happened? that’s the high, as opposed to theoretically having prevented a murder.

so. to summarise. in this first installment of rathbone’s holmes, he’s just having fun with this shit. he’s selling harmonicas and lying to watson constantly and could not give less of a fuck what happens to henry baskerville outside of what he’s already predicted. logic and reason and justice only mean so much as to justify the high. ultimately it’s all for a love of the game.

other notes--

costuming was crazy. holmes and watson are DRIPPED OUT!!!!! + beautifully lit, staged, blocked.

no music? this was kind of an interesting choice. like part of me likes that, in something so otherwise soundstagey, they were suuuper pared back with the score. a lot of people moving quietly across the moor. maybe they realised how much of this IS dramatically moving across the moor and i think i would’ve been irritated had it all been scored orchestrally. at the same time, it does drag a lil, these long stretches of silence - but i still think i prefer it? the pacing of the scenes themselves is the problem. the silence is good! it’s the stretching of scenes that lessens the suspense

i don't actually know if this will be a series or i'll have time to give this detailed of a recap for each one...... mostly i just used this to procrastinate.... but i had fun doing this..... we'll always have the neolithic stone hut on the southeast edge of the grimpen mire

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bringing this over from twitter bc this person literally gets it. watching su for the first time i was literally shocked by how wonderfully toxic the yuri was there. thank you women 🙏

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tár (2022) dir. todd field

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“hey i wonder what bianca del rio is up to let me check her instagr—“

hate when i see some amoral opportunistic ignorant cloutchasing or straight up dumb hollywood shit from the pandemic/beyond and have to mourn the fact bojack horseman never got its hands on it. to think that we never got a todd/peanutbutter podcasting arc…

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snoopy of the day

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we need playing pretend now more than ever

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are we doing gorgeous vibes tomorrow or something else ?

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(inspired by the glee version)

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“hes a woman to me” IS HE? or are you equating women with submissive character traits you've arbitrarily put on a random man

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it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

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this is a drawing about how i love my cat

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