laufeyeffer

[laufeyeffer]

#loki while blue: why didnt you tell me odin feeling lightheaded: right i forgot that was a physical thing frigga: it isnt such a big deal sweetie--wait what happened to. where did your green eyes go

cacklingg

Loki: *turns blue*

Odin and Frigga who had totally forgotten Loki has a Jotun appearance after a thousand years of seeing him as normal: wait what

[laufeyeffer]

she mommy on my issues til i fail to recognize myself outside of the facade I put up as a kid, a struggling carbon copy in shaky fading pencil lines, who am i if not my mother's child/mirror image, etc etc

[laufeyeffer]

....oh

Streaks of Grey running through her hair

Like fingers wearing

Too many rings; I pick up the phone to her

Shrill voice. Like a bird,

I think, as she tells me my rent is

Long Overdue.

I tell her the birds on the tree outside my apartment are not as pretty as they think they are.

She tells me she does not understand.

People have left her before, gone too soon

Broken her heart

Broken their lease

She pinches her lips together whenever she looks at you

Like she is disgusted with what she sees

You are such a cunt, Marsha.

I tell her I will pay rent whenever I damn well please and that she should be happy to have it late

At least then, she can have somebody to call on the phone

And bother with her horrible voice

She tells me I am her worst tenant.

I tell her I wish she were dead.

Neither of us have anyone else to talk to, so we stay on the line.

[laufeyeffer]

gender fluid options

(very viscous) Honey, molasses

(demonic) Tree sap, hand sanitizer, bike chain grease

(nicely scented) Toothpaste, soy sauce, vanilla extract

(big healthy) Coconut oil, castor oil, kombucha

(essentials) Burbly stream water, jugs of kids fingerpaint, michael buble sparkly water drinks

[laufeyeffer]

I've heard it said that you pay an author to write in their own unique voice including their verbal pitfalls, meanderings, histrionics, complete bullshit, etc. and that's nice. that being said some editors don't know when to slit their author's throat

[laufeyeffer]

I bet you click on caps lock to write in shOUTY TEXT YOU SINGLETASKING SINGLECELLED AMOEBA

[laufeyeffer]

I would like to be one of the Single Ladies who Puts Their Hands Up but I've traipsed into the bushes of love after men of the flesh so I suppose that's off the table.

[laufeyeffer]

The agony of having to do laundry is greatly increased by knowing that sleeping curled up in the fetal position on a large fluffy pile of clothing stuffed behind the door, nesting into my own shirts like a rat, would probably give me better sleep than I've had in three years but it would also give me no clean clothes :{

[laufeyeffer]

I hope everyone realizes that if you worship me you don't need to fall on your knees and hear the angel voices, I respect disabilities :))

[laufeyeffer]

I like to think that astrology is completely genuine and accurate for every species that isn't Homo sapiens.

You think your horoscope is telling you to take some deep breaths today? Think again. That's for the Scorpios of clownfish egg cluster 38861 who are currently trapped in your fucking bathroom fishtank.