lazyluce

[lazyluce]

Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming...

Right now I’m thinking about how naïve and vulnerable I once was. And remembering how I have since managed to crawl out of a bottomless pit.

Honestly, my present reality often seems too good to be true. My current life is the perfect idyllic dream I had as a child. I have everything I could ever want or need.

So, connecting the dots of “what happened?!” between teenage Lucy and present-day Lucy makes less and less sense to me by the day.

Once upon a time, I wasn’t aware how other people affected my mental health and I wasn’t aware how fragile life could be.

Now I’m hyper-aware. I see, hear, and feel bad intentions. And I’m drawn to people with innate caring and compassionate personalities.

But the more aware I become of my new perspective... the less my past self makes sense.

Hindsight and reflection are great, but when something from the past pushes itself into my daydream, it hurts that I didn’t have the strength I now have. Out of nowhere, life opens old wounds.

I find myself looking for answers to problems only my old-self needed to solve.

The new lesson I need to learn is: letting go. Letting go of the pain that I don’t have to feel any more. Letting go of my anger. Letting the ghosts of my past rest in peace.

[lazyluce]

Let’s Dance

[lazyluce]

when i get married me and my wife are going to scatter peas all throughout our apartment and then whenever we feel like it we can throw peas at each other and have a real fun time

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

back when I first started doing photography I had the difficult task of asking all my subjects for their permission to use their image in a photograph.  it wasn’t until I finally read the law books that I realized you don’t have to ask permission to take pictures of birds.  birds don’t have the same legal rights as humans apparently.  outrageous but true

[lazyluce]

Tragic.

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

neo, my beautiful best friend

[lazyluce]

a little work in progress 🖌🥛💀

[lazyluce]

[lazyluce]

this morning on yard duty, i saved a large, sleepy bumble bee from some children who were gonna stomp on it because children are afraid of things. the bee was cold, and moving very slowly, not up to flying yet. i picked up the bee and it climbed my arm. the children screamed. i told them it was ok. the bee got onto my neck and into my hair. the children kept telling me that it was in my hair. i turned my head so the bee was in the sun. i stood there with the children and the bee until it warmed up and flew away. see, i said, it didn’t hurt me. if you don’t hurt things, they usually don’t hurt you. 

[lazyluce]

The voice in your head is your true voice and your actual spoken voice is just the closest your voice box can get to it.