left-nostril

[left-nostril]

It is fucked up that Amazon Prime can charge you a monthly subscription fee, still show you ads and require additional payments for 90% of good movies and shows. We need to do something.

[left-nostril]

i just watched a video from 4 years ago, thinking oh yes a video from 2017... fuck.

[left-nostril]

in your lips, you can only kiss the mirror on yourself

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Just showed my cat a wound he made on my arm and his reaction was to lick his balls

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It's crazy how giant squids and sperm whales just have like giant kaiju battles down in the deepest depths everyday and it's real

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Most people get fed up when people are like "wow, you're from X? My sister in law's friend is from X! Do you know each other?" but the thing about South Australia is our population is so low that whenever I learn someone is from South Australia I'm like "oh, I wonder if we know each other."

[left-nostril]

Achievement unlocked: Cry yourself awake!

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My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

[left-nostril]

gimme a ribbit on dat jibbit

[left-nostril]

🎶Spider-Man, Spider-Man

Does whatever a spider can

He can hang off of walls

And shoots webs out his balls

Look out, here comes the Spider-Man🎶

[left-nostril]

The male gender was invented by pocket companies to finally sell pockets.

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You are the best artist I've ever seen.

art I invented

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Imagine if Radiation man saved the day and u go up to thank him and then you die due to radiation poisoning because he’s Radiation man

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I like my women like I like my showers.

Around body temperature

[left-nostril]

[left-nostril]

im inventing a new language. it's called English 2™ and it's basically the same as English but all the b's and d's are switched aswell as all the q's and p's.

[left-nostril]

i think humanity made a huge mistake by using names for all animals instead of calling some of them monsters. some animals don't deserve to be named.