lelouchxo

[lelouchxo]

My greatest, most unbearable, and pitiful weakness reveals itself in the deceptive comfort that envelops me like an invisible prison. Like a dark veil, it drapes over my being, preventing the radiant light that pulses through every fiber of my body from flowing freely. Day by day, the weight of this burden becomes more apparent to me, until it finally looms before me in this agonizing, sleepless night in all its inescapable severity. This inclination towards comfort has haunted me over the years like an unrelenting curse, and every attempt to seek help and advice fails against the impenetrable wall of my own inability to change. After much hesitation - but better late than never - I realize that the only person who can help me out of this labyrinth is myself.

But how can I do justice to the words that drift like fleeting wisps of fog, clouding my thoughts without leaving a trace of solace behind? Especially when this weakness hinders me from reaching the heights of my dreams. Deep in my heart, I have harbored for so long the fervent desire that one day I can reach the summits of my longings with my fragile waxen wings, without getting too close to the glowing light that would melt them and plunge me back into the abyss of despair. I long to find the necessary willpower to chart my own path through the labyrinth of life. But what path ultimately awaits me, I can scarcely fathom.

[lelouchxo]

You could shine so bright if you start glowing

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it’s always the same, things turn out the same every god damn time it sucks

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I got some but at the same time there is none

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Lack of dedication

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feels like I still didn’t find my path- will I ever?

[lelouchxo]

And yet again I could cry a thousand tears

I don’t wanna eat anything

I don’t want to feel a thing

[lelouchxo]

Bro my tumblr feed is so fkin real I luv to rewatch it

[lelouchxo]

When I don’t distract myself, I often get this urge to wanna start crying but I push it away

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if I had to choose between reaching my dream/goal or love

I would choose reaching my dream

And I’m always asking the universe why I am so lonely, without romantic love

Kinda funny isn’t it

[lelouchxo]

[lelouchxo]

Im sick of waiting, I’m tired of it

Im waiting so long now, when will the time arrive?

[lelouchxo]

I wanna find you finally

Maybe I already found you

Please, I beg you universe

I want love

True, mutual, love

[lelouchxo]

im so convinced to wanna fall for her

so why keeps this thought popping up

of me being a fool

[lelouchxo]

He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

[lelouchxo]

Oscar Wilde, De Profundis // @i-wrotethisforme // Jorge Louis Berges // @smokeinsilence //@viridianmasquerade //Jorge Louis Berges // @honeytuesday // Kaveh Akbar // F. Scott Fitzgerald // AKR //Olivie Blake, from “Alone With You in the Ether” // Kaveh Akbar, Pilgrimage

[lelouchxo]

“When we speak of Orpheus, we remember him as the boy who could charmed his way into the underworld with his music. The boy who convinced even the dread king and queen of the dead to give him his lost love back. The boy who lost the love of his life due to his own folly, he looked back, he looked back when he shouldn’t have. His grief takes up all the pages we can give him, he tells us his story and we mourn at his side. But less is spoken of Eurydice. The girl who lost her life so cruelly on her wedding day. The girl who never stopped hoping that the boy she loved would find her even in this cold place, he would find her because their love was stronger than death itself. There is little said of her utter betrayal to see her only second chance at life bartered for an impatient glance. Perhaps it is easier to know Orpheus’ mortal grief than it is to acknowledge Eurydice’s eternity of devastation. After all, dead women can tell no stories. And even if they could, the world has already been taught not care.”

— Eurydice, Nikita Gill