lilactodd

[lilactodd]

It’s My Party! (I’ll Cry If I Want To.)

A.N. : Happy Birthday to my pooks <33

Jason loved his birthday.

Sure, he hadn’t always loved it. Willis never remembered, and when he did he never stuck around. Catherine always tried to be sober for the day, sure, but the operative word was tried. He didn’t blame her for that. But he was allowed to be a little angry about it.

But now? Of course he loved it! Alfred taught him how to bake a cake on his first birthday in the Manor. It was blue, and red velvet flavoured on the inside, and they decorated it with Wonder Woman themed frosting! And Bruce had even gotten him a whole shelf of new books, with fancier covers- Jason was a little too used to worn, water damaged books from the public library- and even some new ones he’d never read before.

Sure… maybe he would have liked Dick, who was supposedly his new big brother, to come home to celebrate- but it was all good! He was busy, and Jason would rather not have him come home just to fight with Bruce the entire time.

They even allowed him to invite some friends over for the day! Jason didn’t have many.. but Rena, the girl he sort of had a crush on, had been able to make it, and so had Tim- the younger boy living down the street. The two had both brought Lego’s as presents, and even though Tim’s set was larger, Jason was happier that they were both here. Present or not.

And he was eleven now! That meant he was like, basically an adult. And he could stay up late! Bruce promised he would extend his curfew by an hour! That was, like, forever.

But even after all those gifts- no he was not used to getting gifts- Jason couldn’t help but smile while going to bed. A full stomach, a free mind, and thoughts of leftover cake tomorrow made him drift off far too quick.

— ~~ —

Jason hated his birthday.

He used to love it. Maybe. But for a major portion of his life, he had hated it. Mornings filled with yelling outside his room, be it Catherine and Willis, a mugging happening in the alley next to the building, or Willis yelling at the TV. All memories he desperately wanted to bury.

Today was no different. It was his twenty-second. The age Dick had been when Jason said his bones would creak- and Jason’s own skeleton loved to show him the meaning of irony, because his knees cracked with every landing on a gravel covered rooftop.

Aside from an awkward request for dinner from Bruce, he hadn’t gotten any kind of congratulations. And he was happier for it- it was just a day. One that he might have liked to see the fifteenth year of. But still.

He was broken out of his thoughts, however, by a text on his phone- his motion sensors. Damn. Nothing like a few intruders in his safe house on his birthday. At least he had free brains to beat in, and he was nearby.

Except he was unfortunately, surprised when he arrived on his balcony-

Roy and Bizarro hanging up a big, sparkly red birthday banner across the ceiling of his living room- with Roy rather precariously balanced on Bizarro’s shoulders- while Artemis and Koriand’r set up confetti poppers hidden around the furniture.

Great. Just great. He’d wanted to stuff his face full of two dollar cupcakes from a sketchy bodega while watching The Crown, and now he was here.

But Jason sighed. And he walked in. And they all yelled ‘Happy Birthday’, as Roy fell off Bizarro’s back.

…maybe he could survive this. Just one day.

[lilactodd]

Until My Hands Go Weak. (I’ll Be A Ghost Ship On The Blue.)

(A.N. : inspired by @mxxnechos , go check’em out !! echo is so awesome)

Jason Todd was not a good person.

It was a fact of life- as true as the winds that blew westward and the blue sky guiding them. Said sky, however, was as bleak and dark and muddy now, as the city below it.

Gotham was a cesspool, and this, too, was a fact. She has been, She is, and She always will be. Nowadays, seemingly all there was were truths.

Jason’s edges bled into this city and the city’s blood ran through his bones. His hands were not small, dainty nor gentle. No, those words couldn’t be logically placed in the same sentence as his name. His hands, bloodstained and calloused, would be used to destroy rather than create. Rather than nurture.

But here he stood now- a small babble from the toddler he cradled under his jacket.

He’d only been completely and utterly terrified a few times before in his life. First, when his mother overdosed. He’d been eight and confused and hadn’t known what to do. Second, when Batman caught him stealing the tires off the batmobile- what if the guy beat his ass for it? Third, When Bruce didn’t come to save him When Joker killed him. That one’s self explanatory.

And number four- now.

The girl babbled and giggled up at him happily, two small arms reaching out of her swaddle. He kept her shielded from the rain currently pelting down on him with his jacket. It shouldn’t take CPS this long to arrive, but with the roads this wet- it’d be a minute.

He’d found the girl in an alleyway, curled up in a shoebox that had been breaking in the rain. Jason wanted to find whoever was irresponsible to leave her in an alleyway in Park Row- that was the dumbest decision anybody could make. He was just thankful he was the one who found her.

He would have been more thankful if it’d been someone like Red Robin, but beggars can’t be choosers. At least it wasn’t a criminal. At least it wasn’t Bruce.

He wouldn’t forgive himself if she got hurt or cried under his watch.

Jason’s hands were not meant to cradle. Unused to comforting. They were meant to destory and decimate and push away anyone who came near to save them from the aftermath-

The toddler squeezed his fingers.

The thoughts stopped.

…maybe his hands could be used for something else. Just for the night.

[lilactodd]

Feel The Rush Of My Blood. (I’m Seventeen Again.)

(A.N. : TW- Derealisation, Body Dysmorphia.)

The world would always keep spinning.

This was a lesson, learned harshly and quickly by one Jason Todd.

The world continued spinning when his mother overdosed. The world continued spinning when he failed his first test. The world continued spinning when Bruce benched him from being Robin.

The world had stopped only once before. At least, it had for one teenager. Rather spectacularly, too. Just for a moment. Only for a moment. But that’d just been an illusion.

When the boy died young, the birds did not stop singing. They were simply too far to hear. Did they sing at all, then?

Jason stepped out of the shower, drying his hair off with a towel- catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror with the apartment’s dingy lights. He’d never thought much about the years he lost as a result of.. well, being dead. The Pit had grown him to the age he should be. He’d gone from five-foot-nothing to a six-foot-four wall of scar tissue and muscle.

He still looked familiar.

Jason’s breath caught in his chest.

He looked like Willis. The very thought made him want to gag. Of course, he didn’t remember too many faces from his childhood anymore, nor did he remember the hands of a mother who’d left too soon. Had she ever been there at all, then? But he’d seen pictures of Willis in police lineups and Batcomputer files.

The mirror was lying.

The reflection was warped.

Jason’s face was blurring in front of his very own eyes, but that might just be the tears in his eyes.

[lilactodd]

Part Time Writer !

Part Time Geek !

Full Time Joke !

Lilac, She/Her.

Professional Jason Todd Apologist.

Multifandom - (mainly DC Comics, though I also like Percy Jackson, Inside Job, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Supernatural)

I encourage discussion in my comments- as angsty as my blog might get, I’m a sweetheart and i love talking to people about shared interests! <3

Haters, Proshippers and Creeps, DNI !

I will take prompts and requests for writing! I love hearing ideas and bringing stories to life.

I will write a lot of x reader things, thought it will mostly be f!reader.

I won’t write nor will i take any NSFW requests. This includes SA as well as smut. I will write gore sometimes, though it won’t be too graphic.

No, I am not open to criticism.

Do not be a dick in my comments.

Guide To My Tagging System In The Tags!

(Will get added and updated over time.)