lishujie

[lishujie]

Technically I’m “graysexual” if you wanna split hairs.

I’m not a label person.  You like what you like, you are what you are, and that’s just the way things go.  An aversion to categorization doesn’t negate them, though.  Recently I’ve had to come to accept that I am what others may categorically refer to as “asexual.”  This, admittedly, was not a very happy discovery, being that I was in a relationship at the time. Note the past-tense, there.

We broke up, in case you didn’t get that.  I say “we broke up” but it was actually me doing the breaking up, something that is a lot harder to do when you live 30 minutes apart and can only reach the other via public transport.  Since I was the one initiating the “event”, I only thought it fair if I were to be the one riding three different trains back home, bawling my eyes out while making everyone around me extremely uncomfortable.

It’s a week later and I still need to have the occasional drink or two or five to help move the feelings along.  Coming to terms with asexuality is a very bitter pill to swallow. I’ve always had my suspicions but being that the “Past Experience” section on my sex resume is rather sparse, I attributed it to unfamiliarity.  I subscribe to the you-never-know-until-you-try-it belief, so try it I did, numerous times, with different people.  Yeah. Not my thing.

Like I said, coming to terms with this wasn’t very fun. But what’s even worse is trying to explain this to the person with whom you are in a relationship.  No harsh words were said and I couldn’t have asked for a more understanding, patient, and compassionate person to accept me for who I am, and respect my decision… which, honestly, felt like a knife through the heart. I didn’t feel like I deserved any of this kindness.  

Emotions are still very raw between us so we agreed to cut communication to zero until next year, then try going back to friends. Ending a relationship is tough as it is, but when it’s on good terms, the pain rends.  I just lost my best friend because my body does not desire something the majority of people are happy to perform.  On one hand, I’m a little bitter that apparently I’m not enough to keep the relationship going, that sex is critical to the point of being a deal-breaker.  On the other hand, that thought alone is incredibly selfish in itself – the exact opposite can be said on my end.

So, here I am.  I’ve been in relationships before, but this one hit harder than the others despite only lasting for just under two months.  No more boyfriend, yes, that’s sad.  But it’s even sadder to think about what this means for the future.  Now that I know about my asexuality, how the hell do I tackle the dating pool now?  

Fuck.  Time to crack open another beer.

[lishujie]

I had started Astrid’s pauldrons quite some time ago.  Materials used were EVA foam (craft foam) and sealed with diluted Modge Podge, about 10 coats.  It’s time-consuming to use this method but I like the results too much and this cosplay has very little armor anyway.  To prevent the googly eyes from rattling, I poked a hole in the back and dabbed a bit of hot glue.  I added another layer to the pauldrons (6 instead of 5) so it would sit better when worn (the capelet covers the extra layer anyway).

As I was working, I wondering how I would make the pauldrons look as roughed up as hers - and I’m not just talking about nicks and scratches.  I really wanted to replicate that unpolished iron look, so I decided to add texture via stippling.

It’s pretty ugly with just the silver paint but once weathering is added, it starts to come together.  In this pic I actually repainted the right pauldron because it looked too green.

Weathering here was done with a dry brush, then a wash afterwards to make the armor look dirtier.   There are a couple things I need to fix still but the pauldrons are now more or less complete.  

[lishujie]

A lot of different furs going on with this cosplay!  It’s been an interesting experience so far... I’ve never worked with fur before--I rather like it!  Finished the hood and capelet some time ago; there’s a hidden inside pocket in one of the arms of the capelet that my phone can fit into.  Convenience aside, I think it’ll also help keep the capelet anchored forward instead of pulled backwards from the weight of the hood (plan to add buttons to the capelet and shirt to help with that as well).

Astrid’s arm warmers are rather poofy, aren’t they?  I stuffed mine and they are now delightfully squishy.  I also decided to stuff the fur trim to give them a little more “oomph”--and what a difference it makes!  The trim on top is not stuffed and it’s looking rather flat compared to its plump neighbor on the bottom.

[lishujie]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK1QFiqANdw)

Pop-up card I made for my Secret Santa, featuring Mettaton from Undertale.

[lishujie]

Some package art for my secret santas.

[lishujie]

My friend was holding onto my cosplay post-con so I wouldn't have to carry it home on public transport. Little did I know that she left it in her car the entire time... Her car that gets hot, muggy, and is constantly exposed to sunlight. Let this be a lesson to all on the importance of properly storing your cosplay when not in use.

[lishujie]

Thank you drawing to the kind stranger that helped me purchase an item from an overseas seller. I hope she likes it.

[lishujie]

My eternal gratitude to these photographers, who took some stunning photos and patiently directed me.

Photographer: Kings Cosplay

Photographer: Vontography

[lishujie]

My apologies to this Robin cosplayer, who I’m pretty sure I frightened in my eagerness to take a photo together.

[lishujie]

almost there!

[lishujie]

Oh god.  2 imouto WHY?!  Please don’t make me choose...

[lishujie]

I had to set falchion aside for awhile to work on the other parts of this cosplay. Now that the weather is warming up, I can pick this up again.  Right now it’s in the process of getting coated with wood glue.  I’m hoping to get it sanded this weekend, and then painted by next weekend.  

[lishujie]

Art done for a draw thread.

[lishujie]

More progress on Lucina.  Just stuff that I am able to work on while away from home, i.e. accessories.  

I have these huge washers (not pictured) that I was going to affix to the backs of the “buckles” on her belts for stability, but I’m not sure if I’ll actually do that, as they add a not-so-insignificant weight and I don’t want the belts to droop.

Started working on the gloves out of the final fabric.  Never made gloves before this cosplay and my god, it is pin hell.  So much stabbing of self...

[lishujie]

Today is the first day of spring, meaning today is Dick Grayson’s birthday! I maaaay have gone overboard in projecting this little fact to others...

[lishujie]

Lucina’s pauldrons progress!

Took me a few tries to figure out how to do the raised decals:

Craft foam: I glued 2 sheets together and tried cutting out a triangular shape, first with a blade, then scissors, then the blade again.  No dice.  Even with fresh sharps, the foam would tear.

Sculpey: I thought this would work for awhile since it’s sandable, and even got as far as shaping the decals, until it occurred to me that it’d be near impossible to bake it curved the way I needed it.

Insulation foam: This whole cosplay is gonna be insulation foam by the time I’m done, lol.  Figured if falchion’s blade is so springy, then maybe the foam would be springy enough to curve onto the armor... and it totally is.  The pieces connect nearly seamlessly; I’m very pleased.

I’ve actually been sitting on her shoulder armor for awhile (first thing I started working on for this costume).  The more I stare at them, the more I think I will end up scrapping these and starting over... the shape isn’t quite what I want it to be.

Also, it’s my birthday and got some sweet, sweet swag.

[lishujie]

I’ve been working on Lucina’s sword for quite some time.  I’ve never made a prop before, so this is definitely an experience.  I didn’t realize how time-consuming it is, for one thing... Maybe because I am doing everything by hand with only the tools pictured?  A dremel probably would’ve helped expedite the process, but I digress...

The pommel on falchion is wrong (it’s supposed to be circular, not flat), but by the time I realized this, I had already put sooooo many weeks of effort into carving that I didn’t want to risk ruining my efforts by chopping off the pommel and replacing with a more accurate version. 

As of right now, I’m coating the sword in wood glue, which has given it an almost porcelain-like quality.  It really firmed up the rigidity, which is nice since the foam made the blade really floppy (even with a dowel inserted inside).  On the other hand, it feels rather fragile and seems like it’d be really easy to snap in half.  In any case, I’m waiting for the weather to warm up before moving forward on falchion.  Shelved for now.

In the meantime, I’ve been working on Lucina’s boots, which is a whole ‘nother source of misery.  I think I went through 5 mock-ups before finally getting a result I thought was “good enough.”  Not wholly satisfied with them, but I’m running out of time so... moving on!