maika | 25 | she/they | we stan wangsheng funeral parlor’s 77th director, liyue’s most hated
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck
210K notes
·
View notes
Text
Being an actor keeps me sane. Yeah I have to work a day job but know what? When my day job is stressful and I want to scream I get to go hey wait. I have a scream scheduled at 7:30 tonight. Gotta save up. And then I go back to what I was doing.
47K notes
·
View notes
Text

I was reading something about Whitestown, Indiana and my eyes nearly popped out of my head thinking it was one of THOSE comically racist towns. Nice to know, at least the name, wasn’t that.
197K notes
·
View notes
Text
From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....
"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."
This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?
60K notes
·
View notes
Video
110K notes
·
View notes
Video
translation: “My sheep! [bah! bah!] You are my life. [bah! bah!] Walk behind me…[bah! bah!] Sing (after me).”
274K notes
·
View notes
Text
reading the wiki for the american psycho movie every single thing it’s saying about christian bale has me in tears …….. he literally wanted the role so bad he got that buff in two weeks, rejected every other offer for 9 months while the producers tried to get dicaprio to be patrick bateman bc bale knew dicaprio would chicken out, went to dinner with the director and the guy who wrote the novel IN CHARACTER apparently scaring the shit out of the novelist, took the role for $50k, and then made all his costars think he was a giant freak bc he never fucking broke character, and APARENTLY LITERALLY HAS CONTROL OVER HIS SWEAT GLANDS AND USED THIS IN THE BUSINESS CARD SCENE
164K notes
·
View notes
Text
beautiful gorgeous dead wife montage that makes you crit anything that is a red unit and moves
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
It's really funny to take Spanish with people from different Spanish-speaking countries, because the ones from South American countries are like "Yeah no one uses vosotros, we don't know what it's doing here" and the ones from Europe are like "If you don't give our beloved second-person plural its due respect, the Hounds will find you"
155K notes
·
View notes
Text
cyber eunuch just sent me a file called gobletofwine.poison for the computer kings royal dinnernet
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
I like how the "Welcome Back" meme always lines up death days with birthdays, because it implies that souls only attach to hosts that have already exited the womb. Perhaps amniotic fluid repels souls (how could we use this?), or perhaps souls cannot differentiate between mother and child until the umbilical cord is severed. But I imagine the most common explanation would be that the soul enters the body via inhalation (at first breath), which would make the soul an airborne parasite. But to answer your question, no I cannot explain the gap in my resume.
17K notes
·
View notes