lydiaisgrumpy

[lydiaisgrumpy]

They’re beautiful but they’re definitely wearing makeup…

Who remember this bare face exo⁉️ no make up no problem just high quality visuals and vocals🔥

[lydiaisgrumpy]

This is so fucking true, but the worst part is that this isn’t how most professional jobs work. So you’re ruining your mental health and setting bad standards that just continue to damage your self-esteem and heighten imposter syndrome.

I’ve been a software engineer for 10 years now and frequently have to talk my juniors and mentees down from self-induced stress. Yes, professional jobs have deadlines. But you’re no longer an island whose whole “job” is to meet a (arbitrary) standard. Your job is to get the work done. You have coworkers to help you; deadlines can (and will) move. Honestly I find myself way more motivated to get my work done early when I know it’s impacting other people.

Yeah, jobs aren’t paradise, and can be pretty toxic, but man college fucks you up so bad and for a completely artificial reason.

"procrastination won't work in college" ok so. yes it will. but it's a lot more dangerous. I always used to hear about how i won't be able to procrastinate when i get to uni, but really, you can just become an even more dangerous procrastinator. you don't have a weekly quiz and graded homework to keep you on track. if i decide to not go to intro to quantum for a month because 12pm is too early for me to make it to class and i'd rather eat breakfast, then i can just not, and I can cram the whole thing the night before the final. This does work. I have not done badly on any exams this year despite being a severe procrastinator, and my GPA this year is like a 3.97. However. This does come at the cost of your sanity and health. I cannot recommend this strategy. You should learn to not procrastinate, but you cannot proceed with the mindset that eventually you'll run out of ability to procrastinate and you'll be forced to actually do things on time. You can always procrastinate. You just end up sacrificing your health.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

Different Strokes?

I think I left the teller at the bank genuinely disturbed when I told him that “If I can’t afford it, I just don’t buy it.”  “What about a car? Do you drive a car?” he inquired, his voice toning on the edge of fear.   I told him, “Yeah, I have a vehicle. I bought it used for under $3,000.”  He looked physically pained. “What about if you want to buy some kind of new appliance? Or furniture?” he persisted. I stared at him blankly. “My couch was $5.00 at Goodwill. Like…I just buy shit cheap or I don’t buy it at all. The only thing in my life that I make payments on is my house, my bills, and my insurance, and that’s split five ways because I have housemates.”  The young man looked horrified? Appalled? And somehow also awed?  This guy couldn’t have been much older than me. But it seemed that he’d never even considered the option before of saving up for something to purchase it outright instead of using a credit card. Am I the only person in my general age group (just turned 26) who’s never owned a credit card, and who has forgone basic comforts in order to save up for items so you don’t owe money to anyone, like, ever? 

[lydiaisgrumpy]

[lydiaisgrumpy]

remember kids

[lydiaisgrumpy]

I'm sorry, Mr. President

As the last full day of Joe Biden's Presidency draws to a close I'm dealing with a great deal of sadness.

I won't rehash it all, but Joe Biden was the most progressive, the best President of my lifetime, consistently delivering big wins that as a Democrat I never expected to see pass through Congress.

But we let him down, and in letting him down, let ourselves down. Four long years of Trump we were tired, we were tired of always being plugged in, always reacting always fighting back. For millions of us we wanted a return to a politics that could take the day off.

In our tiredness and naivete we assumed that sooner or later the truth would just win out. We reassured ourselves that public perception of the economy always lagged behind reality, that low unemployment, rising real wages, and cooling inflation would all mix together and sail Joe Biden to a second term. We were at peace around the world, unemployment hadn't been lower since the 1960s, we'd passed infrastructure a thing everyone had been talking about for 15 years.

We were tired, and we in our weakness looked for someone else to do the job. Surely the news media would report reality we thought, surely someone will....

We let him down, I let him down. I worked really hard to elect Kamala Harris President, I believe from the bottom of my soul she would have been very good at it. However my efforts.... I see now I should have put the level of effort I put into working to elect Harris I should have put in every day of Biden's Presidency.

We were the final girl in a horror movie, having killed the movie monster we drop our knife only to have Michael Myers sit back up. We thought the resistance was over, silly us, it was just the lull in the action.

Every day of Biden's Presidency false narratives about him "too old" "doesn't do anything" "what about student loan debt!" "strike breaker!" "genocide Joe" or the economy "look at the price of milk!" "eggs!" "the worst economy since the great depression!" etc

and for most of 4 years our push back was weak and worse we didn't push OUR message, the truth. Only when it was too late, and we kept looking for the law to save us from Trump, surely once he was indicted, once he was convicted! once.... no because there was no effective machine to push that message to people over and over and over again. There was a machine made up of so many people, boosted by TikTok and Twitter to push the lies about Joe Biden

but the damning truth is we let ourselves down, we got weary as the nice church ladies would always warn me, don't get weary now, we did, we got tired in the work and when you get tired, when you grow weary, you lose and we lost.

I'm really sorry to President Biden, Vice-President Harris and everyone else, I didn't do everything I could, I know I did in 2024 but I should have done more in 2021, 2022 and 2023, that is clear.

It'll be hard to find the energy I know and I also know my own efforts alone mean very little, but I will try, every day of the next long hard 4 years to fight, to not let the other side ever ever EVER again have all their own way.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

Lofi Cali Girl - beats to relax/study to during the climate change apocalypse. Lots of people have messaged me with well wishes for the LA fires. I'm lucky enough to live in a different part of California (in the SF bay area) so please do not worry about me. I do used to live in LA and have a lot of friends who live there still. My heart goes out to everyone affected by this tragedy. For the people whose houses did not burn down, they still surfer from horrendous air quality caused by the fires. The house I lived in during my teenage years is right next to the Eaton Fire, and it's so scary to think about the what ifs. I painted the Lofi Cali Girl drawing during the 2020 wildfires that affected the SF Bay Area and turned the sky red. Since then, I repost this every time another disastrous fire ravages my state. Small wildfires are a normal part of the CA landscape, but these mega fires are not. These are caused by climate change. For the 2020 fire, it was a dry lightning storm that ignited over 2000 wildfires in the middle of our dry summer. For those not familiar with California's climate, we almost never get lightning storms, especially not in the summer. For the 2025 LA fire, it was caused by a dry winter when we would normally get winter rains, and by 100mph wind that spread the fires faster than anyone can put out. This is not normal, and no amount of controlled burns or regular fire prevention could have prevented this. This is just the beginning of the climate change disasters. Some people say this is the new normal, but the reality is things will only get progressively worse. Whatever "new normal" you think this is, just know it will be even worse next year, and every year after. What can you actually do to help the most? For Americans, it would be vote for climate friendly policies and politicians. The 2024 election just ended with a grim outlook for our climate future, but don't give up. There are local elections, and the 2026 midterm elections for House and Senate. All of these can make a real lasting impact on the future of our planet, our one and only home.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

[lydiaisgrumpy]

Actual non-binary people; I’m genuinely curious how non-binary isn’t just gender essentialism in a righteous package.

I’ll admit I’m never been able to discuss this with a non-binary person because I only know trans people. I fully understand that because body dysmorphia is no joke.

Non-binary just seems like “Hey I’m a woman who likes to wear flannel but I’m not a lesbian so I must be non-binary!” Similarly I take a lot of issue with stereotypes about masculine women and feminine men “obviously” being gay.

It personally bothers me as a straight cis she/her who has spent her whole life fighting against expectations for woman and in particular the body image issue and imposter syndrome it causes.

(Honestly gendered pronouns have no grammatical purpose so I’m a huge proponent of everyone just using Xee/Xer)

[lydiaisgrumpy]

Now, more than ever, we need to be careful about spreading misinformation and rumors

I can guarantee that over the next few months, we'll be hearing about a lot of alarming things going on here in the US. Some of those things will be true, and some won't. (And some will have both true and false or exaggerated elements.)

It's going to be absolutely vital that important information is not drowned out by misinformation, rumors, and ragebait.

That means, when you see something that would be important if true, before sharing, you check whether it's actually true.

In library world, we use the acronym SIFT:

STOP: Don't spread the information, or get caught up in your emotional reaction to it, before you've checked it out. INVESTIGATE: Who is saying it? How do they know? If there are links or sources in the post, do they actually say what the person is saying they do? FIND other coverage: Do an internet search for key details: quotes, people's names, specific locations. If something major is happening, there will normally be a lot of coverage. TRACE claims, quotes, and media back to their original context.

Usually you don't need to do all four things: just STOP and then pick what makes sense from the other three. If you decide to share the information, you can also say what you did--"This is a firsthand account from XYZ protest; it lines up with what the local TV station is saying, but has a lot more details about what the cops did," or whatever.

The more urgent the information seems, the more important it is to make sure it's reliable.

If we're hearing every other day that this or that vulnerable group is in immediate, life-threatening danger--but 49 times out of 50 it turns out to mean Trump rambled somewhere about something which, if actually implemented, could end up having the described consequences at some point down the line--then people aren't going to know the difference the one time in 50 when the danger really is immediate.

Think, here, things like immigration crackdowns, CPS investigations into parents who affirm a trans child's gender, or demands that health care providers report miscarriages to law enforcement. We all know that these are things Trump World talks about a lot and would like to be able to do, in some form. For the sake of the people affected by these topics, we need different ways of talking about, "Here they are, back on their bullshit," versus, "This is a policy proposal for a real thing that could happen," versus, "Holy shit, grab the kids and run."

We cannot go to "Holy shit, grab the kids and run" every time Trump, or someone in his inner circle, decides to bloviate about something that could disastrously affect people lives. The people who are most in danger can't stay at DefCon 5 every day of their lives, and when they do really have to grab the kids and run, we need that alarm to be heard over the constant background hum of dread.

The same goes for action items--whether protests, ways to help, or little things people can do to stay safe/sane. There's going to be plenty going on, and nobody is going to be able to do everything, so do your part by passing along those things that you can vouch are true and important, and skipping the things you aren't sure about.

I'll leave you with an example. Remember how a few years ago, we were all-in about hand hygiene and disinfecting surfaces? And then it turned out that those were not actually very important in terms of preventing the transmission of COVID-19, and what we really need is better air filtration in public spaces--but, at my work at least, we still have canisters of surface-disinfecting wipes sitting around, and tattered old signs up about hand hygiene, and no air filters.

At the time, early in the pandemic, we were sharing the best information we knew about how to stay safe, but people got a little too fixated on that initial advice--remember how people would wipe down their groceries? And those little sticks for pressing elevator buttons?--and then when the advice changed, they didn't want to hear about it.

Distrust, fatigue, superstitious attachment to the old grocery-wiping ways--there were a lot of reasons, but the key thing to take away is that attention, energy, and goodwill are all finite resources. Try to avoid wasting it with grocery-wiping--or worse, shilling for the guy selling little sticks to press elevator buttons with.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

Post by u/DJConvex to r/AskReddit on Nov 6, 2024:

People who work in DC for the government, what is the vibe?

Comment by u/Meduselde:

Resigned. We are generally very good about not discussing politics in the workplace but the vibe was obviously off. My more conservative colleagues who were happy Trump won were extremely respectful. There wasn't smug gloating and they were very obviously being cognizant of others' feelings even more than normal. It was extremely appreciated. Ultimately, we survived the first administration and will survive again. It's not necessarily Trump who was the problem last time, but his inexperienced senior appointees. The world isn't going to end nor do I feel democracy will crumble at his feet. It's just gonna be chaotic, and that's the worst part as a worker bee. At least with Biden we had consistent leadership and clear guidance, even if you didn't agree with it. Under Trump, your "yes man" says "no" and that's how you rotate through four SECDEFs. But as a sign of hope, it also means that even the most loyal DO say "no" sometimes, especially when businessmen are finally confronted with the realities of governance.

They chill out REAL quick on their dismantlement plans when they see the work these agencies do and what's at stake if they don't stand up for their people. It's easy to say you will dissolve or cut funding for something when you do not truly understand it. And as much as people say we can ALL be magically replaced with "yes men," even the most stone-hearted appointees recognize that the last thing you ever want is to lose the entirety of your skilled workforce. They learn it's best to get the skilled people to work towards their vision and not hire enthusiastic but stupid people to attempt the same. If they do, they risk looking inept themselves. You don't get skilled federal workers in a blue portion of the country to work for you by being a fucking Nazi. We're cranky and will make your life hell if you behave like that. I'm not talking about some sort of organized resistance movement because we feel like it. That's wrong. But just imagine hundreds of thousands pissed off at you. If that's the Deep State at work, then we aspire to be the quality of swampy Deep State your racist uncle thinks we are. If implementing dictatorship was that easy, Trump would have taken out every agency his last term and fired us all. I am actually extremely proud of the resiliency and checks and balances that the American federal government has in place to prevent most of the shit he says he can achieve by waving a magic executive wand. (He's done this once. He knows he can't. He just lets the majority of the population believe he can.) Us feds will make it, as we always have.

And we will live up to our oath to serve the Constitution, not a president. We serve every official of every party faithfully within the bounds of legalities and our oath. Working for administrations you may not like it's just a part of the job that we all recognize. Public servants at the federal level generally hold that extremely close to their heart. The ones that don't (I'm talking to YOU, WaPo "informants!") put us to shame. We're just tired, man. I can't believe it has already been four years since the last round. There's going to be some waves, no doubt, and some people definitely are going to be hurt at upper levels. But grab a Twisted Tea and buckle up. We'll at least pretend it's meant to be a roller coaster and ride it. TL;Dr Democracy is not going to die. But a drink and "thanks" would go a long way.

EDIT: Woah! I woke up this morning and am surprised by how much traction this got. I'm sad that this was the most positive thing some people had read. I'm sorry it's been that bad. I am not predicting outcomes. I have no idea how it's going to go. It's going to be bloody. But the hope I am trying to get across is that we are a resilient people and a group of (generally) good people. It will be okay, okay? The people that really make or break your daily life are those around you and your local government. Hold those around you close to your heart and always be kind. Everybody go outside, take a deep breath, eat something you love, and hug your grandma (even if she voted differently). The world is still turning and the sky is still blue. Being surrounded by spiraling anger on the internet only makes us the losers, not those we disagree with. The only thing we can do right now is wait. We have a few months to cool off! Enjoy your holidays!

EDIT 2: I think everybody has forgotten about this, but go check out the memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff at the end of Trump's first term after January 6. The feds basically said "fuck that" when people were scared that the government was going to turn the military on them to help Trump in some way. While it was specifically addressed to our armed forces members, it was spread throughout the DOD and beyond. Partially as a result of federal workers' fear (not actually ordered, to be crystal clear) that they would be asked to turn on citizens. This sentiment was echoed across the entire government via internal emails (from Trump appointees!) as well to the civilian workforce. That's one of my proudest moments as an American and why I know we will get through it.

Emphasis mine. Link to original Reddit Post. Link to an article about the aforementioned memorandum signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Don't give up. We will get through this.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

[lydiaisgrumpy]

me 🤝 dean winchester

not having the words

[lydiaisgrumpy]

One more thing before I go bury myself in a pile of blankets:

To everyone who voted Democrat for the first time, every former trump supporter who voted for Harris, everyone who voted for the first time, every Republican who did not want this result and voted for Harris, thank you.

I got a text from my cousin who has voted third party for decades who voted for a Democrat for the first time yesterday.

My aunt who voted for trump in 2016 and who's husband is a proud MAGA sent me a Snapchat late last night saying she is one of the women who secretly voted for Harris.

A former friend from college who used to be deep in the Republican party posted on Facebook yesterday that he voted for Harris.

I know you aren't the only ones.

I see that you tried.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

If it makes any of you feel better, Donald Trump will have an uphill battle to change the constitution. He will need:

-2/3 of Senators (60)

-2/3 of the House of Representatives (290)

-3/4 of the states (38)

In 2026, 33 senate seats will be up for grabs, and we’ll be able to vote for people who are against Trump and his ideals.

Breathe and remain hopeful because it’s not over. We can still fight and make Trump’s last four years hell.

[lydiaisgrumpy]

He doesn’t actually represent half the country. Everyone who would vote for him voted.

The Democrats need to realize they’re not fighting the conservatives; they’re fighting misinformation, apathy, and alienation.

Honestly I don’t even blame the democrats. It’s the two party system. Democrats get torn trying to please both leftists and moderates and end up pleasing no one. And instead of given them the leeway they need to do anything voters just don’t show up at all. Meanwhile, conservatives close ranks and turn up to vote.

Your voice will never get heard if you don’t vote!

[lydiaisgrumpy]