macredfaux-blog

[macredfaux-blog]

Hi!

Today, I am mortified.

Started out bad (many curses to you, Mervin), and it's spiralling downward.

 

There are times I want to end my life but am too cowardly to do that.

 

Sharing is definitely not possible for me with anyone. My roommate is such a jerk, as usual.

 

I don't know who to direct my anger to... My father?, God?, Valrick?, Geraldo?...

 

I am so tired and at my wits end... I don't know what's going to happen after this.

I don't know if I have lost it either.

 

If I have lost it and this is my reaction, then I will end my life.

 

This is my hell.

 

And I don't know how to react to it.

 

All I want is either love or privacy, which I am denied.

 

I hope things get better; if not, I hope I cease to exist. It would be a blessing.

[macredfaux-blog]

Hi...

 

I just discovered how to be a more resilient host to parasites; it makes you more "social" and you don't mind giving your body, life, blood, and sweat to the parasites feeding on you while still maintaining the severed cord.

 

EAT GRAIN! Muisli, barley, oat digestives, biscuits with oats—anything that contains that glutenous product that becomes slimy in contact with water That slime is used in the production of cum too.. haven't tested it though, still filling up ;⁠-⁠)

 

The smell of somebody's undergarments, blanket, cum, any fabric which catches his body fluids or the any "natural" scent of his body WILL ALSO ACTIVATE THE "FEELING" OF BEING A HOST TO THE PARASITE WITH COMPULSION.

The reason for that is our evolutionary trait of pheromones... Nature has this "way" of keeping species alive through the means of smell hitting the brain, making hosts and parasites... Something like Ying and Yang.. the need to coexist in a pair or more—and grains helps us to be more subjugated to this cause.

 

When pheromones hit the head, it makes you fall in "Love" a chemical reaction that triggers oxytocin and dopamine, making you want more of it, and since you know where you can get it, the eyes and the nose show you where it is.

But society has such a double standard. The nose and eyes will take you there, but society, which tells you it's acceptable, won't allow you. It's crazy!!! Why restrict when nature has made us this way, where our chi can flow through someone and unleash our full potential? That's the whole concept of some form of yin and Yang to unleash your full potential.

 

I don't want to deem my theory negative; it's just that the ego of not communicating and not approaching others is fading. Which is good... More dopomine and oxytocin for me.

[macredfaux-blog]

Hi!

Today I am feeling grateful, and I think it's because of the free-lancing public journaling experience I had.

Tumblr is kind of nice, like a meme venting café and the best part is nobody knows about it

It feels like my cords attached to toxic people are severed, and now I actually don't bother...

I have to thank St. Michael for that so Thank you St. Michael

A funny thing though. JWs believe St. Michael and Jesus are the same person... They believe so many things, which is a shocking revelation too.

I seem to like typing, especially on this keyboard.

I'll see if there is an option to connect the keyboard to my phone so I can keep my blog alive.

I read about tzompantli, Its kinda an abacus which was used by the Aztecs for counting I guess, It was made with Human Skulls and it was big... read that they were going to make a tower out of it, but then the Spanish conquerors came and tore down the operation.

Some Spanish explorers also visited the pyramid and made an attempt to put the Holy Virgin Mary on the Shrine of their God, for which all the human sacrifices were made, but the description given in the book was so grizzly when they mentioned the wall with blood crusts... I mean, how much blood had to be there for the crust to form and warm hearts... I mean, that's literally fresh human sacrifices... and 1000 people daily for the sacrifices!!! What's going on? Is this human population control?

Sargam is turning 25!! So there will be free food and refreshments on 8th August... Which is my off day and so Ill go...

Ill have Chole Bature, Samosa Chat and Jaleebe

You know, My cousin don't care also if I lost an eye...

Yes I wanted attention and reaction but if he doesn't care if I lost an eye, I feel I shouldn't Care also... But my heart doesn't permits. Guess I am going to suck up and wish him on his birthday.

[macredfaux-blog]

Hi!

I am going to make this my public Diary now.

I am going to rant here and I don't care if anyone follows or sees or anything.

Because keeping a private diary is no use.

It does little to create cause and effect. In fact the more it's out there the lighter you feel in the heart... Like going to church for conferences with Jesus and not a priest.

I won't rant on daily basis, sometimes I'll write about something I read or how was the day, my mood, life my entertainment quota, my work quota and all in between in a free journaling way...

So it will be like a public Diary but only for those who will find it... ;⁠-⁠)

And yes, because I am lonely, needy and don't have real friends or anything close to a friend.... Just parasites...

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