maelstrombyt

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Why?

Why is it so hard for some people ? Why?

Why is it so heartbreaking to put on the news ?

Why ?

Why?

It’s stronger to love

Its stronger to love

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A self reminder that everything changes.

To be present

To observe

To let go

And to love 💕

𝙌𝙪𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙙𝙤 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙖

So no need to clench

No need to suffer

I hug uncertainty with openness

And I am grateful for it.

This too, shall pass.

[maelstrombyt]

What a beautiful day

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A little letter exercise to release stress and anxiety <3

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See it bloom ❤️

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Follow the sun

Watercolors for the soul ♥️

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Poem and collage

2021

Get lost and you'll always find

yourself

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Did this little guy quarantining in January, it feels like yesterday. And March is almost over. Time is running fast.

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May - 19 - 2017

the ongoing noise outside

did nothing to the back of my mind,

when I saw panic in shinning letters

I closed my eyes and went back to the colors

that were so bright

for that moment when I realized

that no matter the place on earth,

my head was always in the right state..

[maelstrombyt]

Why Au Pair?

Why I decided to be an Au Pair.

I guess we’ve all had that paralyzing moment in our lives when we are forced to face the adulting world, wether it means moving out of your parents, graduating school/college, getting fired of your job, or just simply having a change of perspective about yourself and taking responsibility for your life. It happened to me the day I got my business degree, when I saw the pictures of myself and  I didn’t see what you’re supposed to perceive in the way I was smiling. I needed something else, a change, a time for myself and to find me. Not a party trip, and not only travel to travel but I needed to find myself in a way I had been looking for so long but I didn’t know how or where to start.  I wanted/needed to invest in myself creatively.

So the idea popped in my head after my friend went to Germany as an au pair and I started researching about the program. It sounded pretty great: living with an American family, with kids that I love and I always have fun, with them going to school which meant free time for myself to study music, writing and just figure out my life, the opportunity to save money and get better at english. . I was working in an office and after a huge breakdown I decided to start my process with Cultural Care.

Everybody has different motives, different drivers, and for me were the following: • Free time to study • Have fun with kids and enjoy my youth/child self. • Create with them. • Save money. • Better my english for advanced writing. • Learn more about the American culture. • Figure out my next professional move.

So, I matched with a family with three kids, quit my job and came in 2019. Never in a million years I thought that something like a pandemic would happen and that I was going into complete lockdown 5 months after arriving to the US.

When lockdown took place and schools were cancelled, I had an anxiety attack for the first time in my life. I wasn’t prepared but ONE YEAR AFTER I can say that I did it, with three kids at home, my host parents, and me just barely adapting, all of us sharing one same space. It was really really hard and the rollercoaster of emotions I’ve been experiencing are new to me but the reasons I told myself to come were the ones that kept me sane for the most part.  

I had a clear view of my purpose for my experience and having that in mind was a lifesaver. I still stand by my motives which is why I decided to extend with them one more year, considering the uncertainty of the world and all the work it means to take care of three kids.

Anyway, if you are thinking about taking a break from your life and embracing an experience like an Au Pair, especially in a covid world, I recommend having your drivers very clear and setting a purpose that will keep you strong even when you feel so weak to look them in the eyes.

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Lockdown was whatever, but at least it made me go back to collages ✂️✨

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2019  You in drugs  Me in you  Us and high  The sky pouring  And I’m running 

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Today is officially the first day of spring ✨

Thought of sharing this poem from last year, when spring came, the world went into lockdown and Rock Creek Park became my best friend. 💕

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I had a dream  Where the world was split in two A left in black and white  And a right with colors overflowing the sky  Rainbow marks my now  Disguised under the clouds  The ink in my body flows as witness  Proving it.  Be it, let it fly.  Hold my body  Close your eyes  And grab the brush.  Tracing the skin in a world I thought I would never  Fit in Today it comes as magic  In the new normal that lets it happen You’ve always know it Explore it.  Sunshine in the ceiling and a perfect picture  The full moon tonight and mark the words with wisdom.  When the spiral comes and you can’t control  Create something and let it go... - May 9 2020

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In the tiny things, the details, the sincere eyes and tender touch.  In the smell of the morning coffee and the sun that enters your window.  In the birds singing and the deep breath.  There is hope.