magicaldice

[magicaldice]

WILL HE

in which you & Matt aren’t dating but aren’t supposed to be available to other people. your attachment to each other is borderline unhealthy and toxic, but somewhat addicting.

I've been in the same position I'm in currently about 500 times by now.

The position of disbelief, betrayal mixed with an uncomfortable amount of false hope. One can only take so much.

Matt and I aren’t together, at least not technically. A label on our entanglement was the least of my worries as of now.

I'ts about 7 p.m right now and i've been crying non stop for the past 2 hours. 2 hours of tears passed while Matt consistently blew up my phone with messages and calls.

He knows I know. He knows that I seen Maria post him on her snapchat story.

In the picture you can see that he was in her bed without a shirt on, laying peacefully between her legs as her hand was in his messy hair.

I wanted to throw up when I initially saw the post. Too many emotions clouding my mind making it impossible for me to decide what to do.

Matt and I were friends. With the occasional kisses and sex. We met 11 months ago and have been involved with each other ever since.

It started out as an innocent friendship. Until it became something far more serious and intense.

6 months into our friendship we had both mutually agreed while we were intoxicated to hookup. It didn't seem like a life altering choice at the time.

But it unfortunately was and now I've become someone I don't recognize. Someone who's willing to drop every ounce of self respect to keep a man in my life. Someone who's not afraid to betray herself for nothing but false promises.

After Matt and I had sex that one night while we were drunk, there was a big shift in our dynamic. He was more clingy, he became softer with me, but more possessive than anything.

And to tell you the truth I couldn't tell what his true intentions were.

We would stay up till sunrise talking about everything and anything you could think of. We would spend countless hours laughing with each other, holding each other.

He's in my camera roll more than my own parents. I became beyond attached to him. And he always made me feel like the feeling was mutual.

Even though there was no label to what we had, it felt like it. When the conversation of dating or hooking up with other people would ever be brought up, it would end in the same way.

Matt would hold onto me like I was his, stroking my hair ever so gently. "I don't want to share you with anyone" he would say. Anytime I would try to rebuttal he would quickly shut any argument I had down.

He didn't want me with anyone else. He wanted me selfishly all to himself. And anytime I mentioned that if I couldn't be with anyone else, that he couldn't either, he would agree.

But he never kept his word. I would always figure out he'd been with another girl. And it would hurt me more and more everytime.

I had got sick of the lies he would tell me. Sick of trying to see the good in him. Sick of putting him before myself.

Seeing Maria's post on snapchat today made something in me snap. Yeah it fucking hurt, and yeah I cried. But it made me want revenge, it made me want him to feel how I felt.

from matt: y/n answer me.

from matt: i'm sorry y/n plz answer. I can't lose you

from matt: please call me back. just talk to me

I read the messages and scoffed. He knew I was hurt, he knew that I would find out. The thing is this was a reoccurring event. If he was truly cared he wouldn't be getting with other girls in the first place.

I wanted to get revenge, so badly. But I didn't know how. I mean essentially I would just have to sleep with another person.

But that was the last thing I wanted to do. That was something I couldn't get myself to do no matter what.

Tears stream down my face, how could I just let this continue to happen to myself? How could I let him treat me like an option.

I look down at my phone to see him calling me. I debated answering, but I didn't. Instead I shut my phone off, feeling numb to the situation.

-

I had just waken up to a knock on my door. I swung my legs off my bed and walked to my apartment's front door, opening it just to be met with the man who made me cry myself to sleep.

"Leave" I said while rubbing my eyes, trying to fully wake myself. "No just let me talk to you" he said stepping towards me. "There's nothing to talk about" I said.

I was exhausted, I didn't want to deal with this right now. He stepped closer, closing the gap between our bodies before wrapping his arms around me. "I'm sorry" he said as he hugged onto me.

I didn't return the hug. Instead I just stood still, not able to move. Tears were bound to fall from my eyes. "Let me inside, yeah?" He said.

I let out a deep breath, one that was filled with heavy emotions. I let him inside and he followed me into my bedroom. I sat on my bed and stared down at the ground.

"I'm sorry y/n. I know I fucked up, I fucked up so bad. I never meant to hurt you" he said. I wanted to scream, cry and have him hold me all at the same time.

"You don't give a shit. You don't have anymore excuses, you just use me. I'm tired of this Mathew" I spoke. "You know I care, you take advantage of how deeply I care" I said, my voice cracking as hot tears fall from my eyes.

He grabbed onto my hand and squeezed it lightly. He listened carefully as I poured out my heart. Sadness was turning into anger quickly.

"How would you like it if I was getting fucked by random guys? Huh? How would you like it if I let-" I was starting to spiral before he interrupted.

"I know that your hurting, I know that. Don't run to other guys because of me. Don't do that" he said. "They don't care for you like I do. I don't want to lose you" he continued.

"Do you even hear yourself right now?" I snapped. "How could you even say something like that and then treat me like I'm one of your hoes" I said, my heart aching with every breath I took.

Matt grabbed onto my body, pulling me on top of him. He sat me in his lap and used his thumb to wipe away the tears I had. "Your not one of my hoes y/n" he said.

"You're the only girl I care about. The only one who makes me feel like me. The only one who matters" he said staring into my teary eyes.

"I'll get my shit together for you" he spoke. It was hard to stay mad at him when he talked like this. It was hard for me to stand firm on my words, boundaries and self respect when it came to him.

He used his thumb to brush my bottom lip as his eyes flickered from mine to my lips. "I can't lose you" he whispered. It always seemed like he was meaning what he said in the moment.

He leaned in to kiss me and when our lips met my body felt at ease. With our lips pressed together, our bodies moved naturally against one another.

"Your my girl, nobody else's" he said as his hands ran all over my body.

-

It'd been 3 days since I last saw Matt. He was coming over tonight after telling him that we need to talk.

I planned on telling him that if he kept sleeping with other girls I would leave him. I would drop everything between us and start over with someone else.

Although this needed to happen, I didn't want it to. I didn't want to let go of him even though there's a high possibility that I'm going to have to.

I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him and everything we had. It was a sad reality.

Love isn't logical, it never has been. Separating feelings and logic was something I found to be quite difficult. But even at my most deluded times I've known the difference between right and wrong.

And what Matt was doing, essentially using me for his own selfish benefit, was wrong. It's a hard pill to swallow when you realize that the people you care about the most, are the ones who are most willing to take you for granted.

It's hard coming to terms with such things like betrayal and heartbreak. And it wouldn't be necessarily if Matt gets his shit together.

But I've already been subconsciously preparing myself to lose the one thing I thought was real. To lose the one person, the one soul who I crave to be with forever.

-

"I need you to know that I care so deeply about you" I said. Matt was sitting on my bed next to me. He looked anxious which wasn't a normal thing for him.

"If your not going to change for me, let me know. Because I refuse to let myself spend more time on someone who couldn't give less of a fuck" I continued.

I was being more than serious. And it was the first time I seen him look somewhat scared. He could tell that this was either going to be the last time we saw each other or the beginning of something real.

"What do you need me to do my love" he said as he held onto my hand. "I need you to say something and mean it, I need you to tell me if what we have is worth losing" I said.

"I never want to lose you, ever" he spoke. "Do you understand that if you keep sleeping with other girls, or even entertain other girls, I will leave everything we have behind" I said assertively.

He nodded his head at my words, staying silent for a moment before grabbing onto me. "Let me hold you" he said pulling me into him.

We laid with each other, time being forgotten as we stared into each others eyes. "Being with you is something that I'll always cherish" he said.

"Nobody is able to reach my heart except you. Your the one that has the key to it, your the one who makes me feel like a real human" he said as he rubbed his hand up and down my back.

"I've never felt something as real as your love before" he continued.

He was on the verge of expressing more of his feelings before he got cut off by his phone ringing. He grabbed his phone like it was instinct, and my stomach dropped when I saw the caller ID.

It was Maria that was calling him, and by the way it's 2 am. Nobody calls at 2 am with any other intention but late night sex.

I pulled out of his arms, creating physcial distance between us. "I'm sorry I dont know why she's calling right now I just-" I interrupted his failed attempts at making an excuse.

"You can fucking answer her Mathew. Go ahead and answer her. You can actually go to her house right now, nobodys fucking stopping you" I snapped.

"It's not like that y/n. i'll block her right now if you want me to" he said. "Let me see your phone" I demanded. "What?" he said more confused than ever.

"Let me see your phone" I repeated. He gave me a look of defeat. He knew that what I was about to see on his phone would destroy me.

"Y/n" he said. "Give it to me" I demanded once again. He looked up at the ceiling as if he was saying a prayer in his head before handing me his phone.

I was sick at what I was seeing to say the least. He practically only had girls on his phone. He was texting them all, saving nudes in his phone, saying he cared about them like he did with me.

Even though what he was texting to them was far more surface level compared to what we would text and talk about, it didn't change the fact that he was still entertaining them.

I scrolled through tons of messages, sexts, and meaningless connections he had with the girls. I came across our messages, seeing my contact in his phone as "my love" made every emotion I felt sting.

Tears were running down my cheek as Matt watched me scroll and scroll through his phone. I threw the phone at him when I reached Maria and his messages.

He had texted her an hour before coming to my house, saying he missed her and couldn't wait to feel her again.

I was so sick, so tired and hurt. "I fucking hate you" I said with my voice trembling. He quickly grabbed onto me with a firm grip, wrapping his arms around me.

"I know my love, I hate me too" he whispered. "Let go of me" I said, body weak, mind clouded with pain. "No" he responded. "You need to listen, okay?" he said.

I didn't want to listen to whatever bullshit excuses he was going to try and feed me. I didn't want to. But I did.

"Those girls don't mean anything to me. None of them, I promise you. I'll delete them all right now, I swear" he said. "I'll drop everything if it means that I get to keep you" he continued.

I shook my head, not responding with words. "You mean so much to me y/n. All of those text and all of those girls were before tonight. Tonight is different, okay?" he said.

"Tonight we're in this for real, it's just you and me like how it's supposed to be. Your more than a hookup, or a late night text. Just please, let me show you how much you mean to me" he pleaded.

He grabbed onto my jaw, forcing me to look at him. I would like to think I had more control over my emotions. I would like to believe that I wouldn't give in so easily.

But it was never like that with Matt. I gave into him, effortlessly, like it was habitual. Which it was.

"I hate seeing you cry" he says, and even if he was lying I let myself believe it for the time being. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me like he's done many times now.

"Just need to hold you" he said. Being held by him was something I always loved, deeply.

There were times I had got depressed, not wanting to leave my room for weeks. I would isolate from everyone, and even when I tried to push Matt away during those times he wouldn't budge. He would show up at my house just to hold me while I would cry.

He would hold me for hours. The only difference between him holding me now vs back then, is that the reason I'm crying is because of him.

He was like the human form of addiction. I was addicted to him and his bullshit. And with him being my choice of drug, I needed to get sober.

"Can't lose you" he said before leaning in to kiss my lips. Being kissed by him was one of my favorite feelings. It was indescribable, the feeling of his lips on mine.

"I want you to feel better" he said before kissing me again. Matt knew that him kissing me during times like this eased the intensity of overwhelming emotions.

And every time I kissed him back, his body would become more relaxed. It's almost as if me kissing him eased the intensity of his overwhelming emotions as well.

It was a love and hate thing, with uncertainty and deep attachment involved.

He stroked my hair; it was soothing more than anything. "So we're for real now then, right?" I said. He nodded his head and gave a reassuring smile.

"I swear" he spoke, kissing my forehead softly.

-

There hasn't been a single day where Matt and I have been separated for more than a few hours. He was attached to my hip, only leaving my apartment when he had errands to run with his brothers.

There was a new energy between us. One that I didn't fully trust yet, one that said things between us were more serious.

As time passed, I slipped, I let myself believe that this was real. That he meant what he said when he said he didn't want to lose me.

He had spent every day with me, slept with me, showered with me. FOR DAYS.

Only to find out the times he left my apartment “to run errands with his brothers", was actually to go to another girl's house.

I did what any girl would do in my position. When he was in the bathroom showering, he mistakenly left his phone in my room.

I went through all of his social media first, not a single recent message from any girl. I was relieved, until I went to his regular messages.

He had been texting Maria, telling her not to post him on her story. She had questioned why, and his response was short and disgusting.

"Can't post the pictures or videos anyways, not when we were naked in them :)"

I felt anger, sadness, so much of it that it consumed every breath I took.

Matt walked into my bedroom, shocked when he seen his phone in my hand.

"Y/n" he said, tears were already pouring out of my eyes. As much as I was deeply hurt and sad, anger radiated off me more than anything.

"Get the fuck out!" I yelled, tossing his phone at him. He walked towards me slowly, his face plastered with an unreadable expression.

"I'm sorry" he said as he sat next to me on the bed. "No get out Matt. I'm serious" I said, voice cracking mid sentence.

I couldn't take this, this hurt more than any actual physical pain I felt. He tried to grab onto my hand and I stood up from my bed quickly. "Get the fuck out!" I shouted.

His face faltered, like he knew this was the end. The end of us, the end of something that should have never began.

He stood up from my bed and tried to step closer to me, but I backed away instantly. "You don't get to pretend like you give a fuck Mathew. You have no more chances" I said, wiping the tears from my face.

"Get your shit and get out" I said, pain and anger seething in my words. He grabbed his phone off my bed. I walked out into my living room, not wanting to see his face.

He followed behind me, nothing but harsh silence in the air. I watched as he put his shoes on.

It was hitting me hard in this moment. Knowing I wasn't going to see him again wasn't something I was ready for. I pushed down every feeling I had, I was done with him for real this time.

Matt stepped closer to me as I sat on my living room couch. "Listen to me" he said. "I know that your hurt, I know that you wanted this to work out. And believe it or not I did too" he spoke.

"I wish I could of been better for you. I really do. But I want you to know that every day, and every night I'll think of you. I'll pray you'll be safe. That you find someone who treats you good" he continued.

His words were making my body vibrate with heavy emotions, emotions too big to carry in a singular body. This was really happening, right here, right now.

"For what it's worth, I really am sorry. Your love was something I abused. And I'll never forgive myself for it" he said, and that was first time he seemed to look like he actually believed the words that were coming out of his own mouth.

"Be safe y/n. I'll carry a piece of you with me everywhere I go" he said before giving me a look, a look that said goodbye without having to say the actual words.

He walked out of my apartment, and as he shut the door behind him I broke down. Every single part of me that I tried to hold together, fell apart within seconds.

I walked to my bedroom, grabbing my phone. A message from Matt appeared.

from matt: I love you.

I violently sobbed as I stared at the message. Anger flashed over me once again. Love wasn't this, love wasn't what we had. This was far from love.

I wiped the tears from my eyes once again, blocking his contact. I continued to block him on every social media that we followed each other on.

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. He would become a distant memory, someone who would be forgotten overtime. At least I hoped.

"I wish I was better for you", his words repeated in my head.

He wished he was better for me.

But his wish would never come true.

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6 pt 7 pt 8 pt 9 final part.

I've never experienced something like this before. 25 minutes of arguing between me and Jackson went by. The arguing is normal, but not what we were actively arguing about.

"Tell me who the fuck it is y/n I'm not playing" Jackson yelled. I felt terrible. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. I don't know what I got myself into.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Jackson" I said. Jackson sat on my bed, looking devastated. He looks genuinely so hurt that it's almost kind of shocking.

"Y/n tell me who it is. Just tell me. I deserve the truth" Jackson said. He had been asking who gave me the hickey over and over. I didn't want to tell him. But I ended up giving in.

"Chris" I said quietly, ashamed. "Chris? Chris Sturniolo?" He asked. I nodded my head. "So, when you said you were at Madi's- you were actually with Chris" he said putting the pieces together.

My breath was shaky; my body being consumed by guilt. "I can't believe this" Jackson said, seemingly very shocked at the situation.

"I'm calling him" Jackson said grabbing my phone. "No!" I yelled. No fucking way would I let Jackson call Chris. Not even on my death bed.

"Okay then I'm just going to go to his house" Jackson said. "No are you fucking crazy?" I yelled. "I'm the one crazy one? Really?" He said clearly unamused.

Jackson grabbed his car keys off the table and headed to the front door. "Jackson please! Stop!" I yelled, running after him. "You can either come or you can be dropped off at your house" he said.

"Jackson please!" I begged. "Pick where your going, because your not staying here" he said. "I can't do this Jackson please just forgive me" I said.

"Your sick in the head y/n. I'm not forgiving you, you cheated" he said. He walked out of the front door towards his car. I put my shoes on, feeling sick to my stomach.

I walked out to the car, Jackson waiting for me as he's in the driver seat already. "Please. Don't do this" I begged. He didn't listen, he started to drive.

He started driving towards Chris's house and every moment that we got closer to his house I felt the pit in my stomach grow. "Jackson I'm sorry" I said.

"You cheated. You did what you did. Now live with it" he said. His words sliced my heart open. I never wanted this to happen like this.

We had arrived at Chris's house and my heart was beating so fast that I wanted to throw up. Jackson got out the car immediately, and I followed him.

Jackson knocked on the door, seconds after he was met with Madi in front of him. "Hey" she said more like a question instead of a greeting. Confused on why Jackson was at her front door.

"Hi is Chris here?" Jackson said. Madi gave me a look of confusion mixed with concern. "Yeah, he's here I can go get him" Madi said, oblivious to the situation that was going on, once again.

After a few moments Chris was standing in front of me and Jackson. "Hey bud, so I found out we've been sharing y/n" Jackson said in a very sarcastic tone.

Chris looked at me and then back at Jackson. I see Madi in the living room watching the scene unfold. She gives me a disappointed look. "What do you want" Chris said, looking at Jackson.

"I want you to explain why you think it's okay to try and fuck people's girlfriends" Jackson said. Chris's jaw clenched. "I mean clearly y/n is easy. She's got slut tendencies" Jackson continued.

Tears were streaming down my face. I hated this so much. "Watch your fucking mouth" Chris said, warningly. Madi was still watching everything. I couldn't look at her in her eyes.

"I mean I'm telling the truth, right? Because an hour ago me and y/n were about to have sex. And then I see fresh hickeys on her tits. She was with you and then came to me. You couldn't please her good enough clearly" Jackson said.

Chris looked at me. Every soft version that I had seen of him had disappeared. He looked disgusted almost. "You guys were about to have sex?' He asked me.

"It's not like that Chris. I was going to break up with him. I just felt like I owed him" I said. I wasn't trying to justify my actions, but I so badly needed Chris to understand.

"You hear that Chris? Slut tendencies" Jackson chuckled cockily. "I need both of you to leave" Chris said. "Chris I'm sorry, please just understand" I begged.

"Look at her begging you to understand that she's nothing but a cheater" Jackson said. "Leave" Chris repeated. "You can have her bro. I don't need her anymore" Jackson said.

"Can you both just leave. I don't need to deal with all of this" Chris said. "Im so sorry Chris" I said, eyes filled with tears. "I'm not doing this with you y/n" he said. "You can keep her" Chris said to Jackson before slamming the door shut.

Jackson looked over at me and smiled and then walked back to his car. I followed behind him. "Ill drop you off at your house and then I promise youll never hear from me again" he said

I stayed silent. Not able to comprehend the whole thing. How did I let this happen? How could I be such a fool?

After Jackson dropped me off at home I had stayed in my room and cried for numerous hours. I tried calling Chris, he didn't answer any of the calls.

My whole body hurt. My heart, my soul and mind were in shambles.

from madi: hey girl. I think it's the best if we just kind of end this friendship. I'm sorry but you hurt Chris really badly and I refuse to stand by that. don't show up to the house because I'm not going to answer the door for you. wish you the best :/

The text from Madi only deepened the wound. I should of never done this. I should of never allowed any of this to happen.

Then a couple minutes later I received another text.

from chris: I thought what we had was real. I was so blind. I'm leaving everything in the past and moving on. Im blocking you because I love you. and im just now realizing the love was one sided. goodbye y/n.

I violently sobbed when I read the message. He said he loved me. I tried calling him and none of the calls went through. I tried calling Madi, none of the calls had gone through for her either.

They blocked me. I wanted nothing more than to show up at their house and get on my knees and beg.

I went to Katie's room but she wasn't there. I called her.

"Katie please come home I cant do this" I cried into the phone. "What's going on?" Katie asked. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad Katie" I cried.

Katie came home instantly. "It's okay y/n" she said holding onto me. "It's going to be okay" she consoled me. "He's just a man. No man is worth this amount of stress" Katie continued.

Although she was right, it wasn't helping in the moment. I wanted to do anything I could to forget all of this. I wanted to run away, start a new life.

I cried in Katies arms for so long. I fell asleep in her room, her cuddling me, reminding me that everything was okay. I never got to tell Chris that I loved him back.

A year later.

I had a completely different life a year ago. Me and Katie still live together. I've taken my time to heal, to grow as much as I could. Life was starting to feel good again.

"Im gonna go get some snacks from the gas station" I said to Katie. It was 10 pm and I had been craving the blue slushie that the gas station sold.

As I arrived at the gas station I was excited to fulfill my cravings. I walked into the gas station, and walked through an ailse to find something sweet.

I heard a group of people laughing from the other aisle and it had me cringe. I did not need anyone to see me right now, I was in sweatpants and a tank top. Clearly in my “idgaf outfit”.

I quickly grabbed a bag of peach rings and headed towards the slushie machine. I turned the corner and accidentally ran into someone, dropping the peach rings.

I bent down to grab the peach rings, repeating how sorry I was for being clumsy. And after picking the peach rings back up off the floor I stood up and was met with a very familiar face.

It was Matt sturniolo. And behind him was Madi. My heart dropped as we stared at each other blankly. I heard laughs from around the corner come closer and then a voice I had tried to forget.

"Matt what are you-" Chris said and stopped mid sentence before stopping in his tracks when his eyes met mine. We all stared at each other, alot of unspoken tension.

"Babe I got the slushie" I heard a girls voice call out. I watched as a girl approached Chris and grabbed his arm. He looked like he had been stuck in a trance, his eyes stuck on mine.

I watched Chris look back over at the girl and give a soft smile. Matt and Madi were still staring at me, like they want to say something but the words wont come out.

"Babe can I get this bag of chocolate covered pretzels as well" she said smiling at Chris, completely unaware of what was going on. He looked down at the girl "yeah of course" he said.

She stood on her tippy toes and leaned in to kiss him. And then she finally noticed me. "Oh my gosh your so pretty" she said to me. I gave a faint smile, looking at Madi and Matt and then to Chris.

Chris looks like he's seen a ghost. He looks stuck in time. Madi and Matt look over at the girl finally. "We should get going" Matt said glancing at Chris.

He nods his head. I watch as the girl gets the chocolate covered pretzels and they all head up to the cashier.

I felt frozen, like my body couldn't move. I quickly try to gather myself, but tears are in my eyes before I knew it. I watch the group head out of the gas station. Chris was the last one to exit.

Before walking out the door, he looked back at me. Our eyes lingered for a moment before he finally walked out the door.

My heart broke all over again. As much as I tried to forget him, to forget the memories we had made together I couldn't.

I was just starting to finally feel free of him. I started to feel like I had finally moved on. Just to run into him and feel all the emotions I had once felt a year ago.

I had gone home that night devastated. He had a girlfriend now. He looked like he had been doing good and I loved that for him. But my heart hurt.

Seeing Chris after a year had felt surreal. I missed him. I missed Madi and Matt. I missed them all.

But I was simply reminded of the reality that I had lived. Chris was a stranger now. And I hated it. But it's the truth.

He was a stranger that I had known and shared a bed with. A stranger that knew everything about me. A stranger that knew my deepest and darkest secrets. A stranger that I had once loved.

Katie had came into my room stealing some of the snacks that I had bought. And as me and Katie sat together watching some dumb overrated movie I realized I must come to terms with things.

Maybe in another lifetime things would of ended differently. But I realized Chris would forever be the stranger that I held closely to my heart.

I'll live my life, and he'll live his. Whether we cross paths again or not is up to the universe. And I hope one day we will.

Afterall the fate of patience teaches you. It teaches you to cherish something you love, that once you love something do you everything in your power to keep it.

It teaches you that time is not against you nor rooting for you. It teaches you about yourself, and the power of your actions.

I'll always love Chris. But until we meet again, or if we ever meet again, I'll be patient.

author note: I’m sorryyyyy. dont hateeee meee💔. crying, throwing up, screaminggggg. I love you all so much, thank you for the support.

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli

@nessaisabelartemas333 @xoxbunni @sturniolobananas1

@sturn45olo

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6 pt 7 pt 8 part 9

pt 10

It's been a week since the whole incident happened. I hadn't talked to Chris or Katie since. And honestly it's kind of concerning especially since I live in the same house as Katie.

But I had finally gathered enough courage in me to try to talk to Katie. I prayed she wouldn't slam her door in my face as I walk towards her room.

"Katie" I said, knocking on her half open bedroom door. I open the door fully, seeing Katie at her vanity. "Hey" she said. "Can we talk?" I asked. She nodded her head.

"Look im sorry for the way I acted at the party, you didn't deserve to be accused of anything. I was so careless and I'm sorry" I said. Katie looked at me nodding her head.

"It's okay girl, you just kind of hurt my feelings. But all is forgiven as long as you figure out what's going on between you and Chris" she said. "Nothing's going on between me and him" I lied.

Katie gave me a "are you serious right now?" kind of look. I shrugged my shoulders, my face couldn't possibly scream more "guilty" than right now.

"I don't know why you think you need to lie to me, but it's not working" she said. I sighed, she's right. "Ill figure it out" I said.

I had tried texting Chris, but I was left on read every single time.

I feel like every time I think of Chris my heart crushes into shambles. I should of never agreed to go to that party with Jackson. I wanted to reach out to Chris. But I didn't know how, what was I even supposed to say?

I saw the way he looked at me. He looked like he had been betrayed, backstabbed, broken. And it was my fault. "You said he wouldn't get to touch you like that" were the last words he said to me. And they haunted me.

What have I done? How could I be so careless. Chris had opened up to me, he had trusted me and I ruined it.

That night at the party I had drank a little too much. More than I intended. But it wasn't an excuse. I had promised Chris that I wouldn't let Jackson touch me like that. And that promise shouldn't have been broken no matter if I was sober or not.

I needed to apologize to Chris. I needed to show him I cared, to show him how sorry I truly was. I just needed time to figure out my shit. I knew I needed to break up with Jackson. I knew that.

But it was hard, Jackson and I have been together for over a year now. I had cared about him so much at one point. I was struggling to decipher how I should go about this.

I was scared of change, I was scared of taking risk. I was scared of what the outcome to any of this would be. I felt like my heart was deteriorating from my thoughts.

What if I just let things unfold by themselves? But then again I hated not knowing if I could repair my relationship with Chris. There was no way to escape this.

So I decided to take a chance. I grab my car keys and put my shoes on. I'll show up in person, he'll have no choice but to face me.

Once I arrived to his house I took a deep breath. So many thoughts ran through my mind at once. But I continued to walk up to the front door.

I knocked, my heart and thoughts racing. And in a couple seconds Madi had opened the door. "Y/n" she said, looking surprised at my unannounced arrival.

"Hey is Chris here?" I asked. "Yeah come in" she offered, letting me into the house. "He's been kind of distant with me and Matt. But he should be in his room" she said.

I walked to his room, feeling so anxious I could throw up. I knock on his door, despite wanting to run away. No answer. I knock again. No answer. I turned the door knob, opening the door slighlty.

"Chris" I call out and then open his door fully. His small lamp on the desk is the only lighting in his room. I walk over to his bed, seeing him sleeping.

I didn't know If I should wake him up or not. I decided to take off my shoes and sit on his bed. I debated on just waiting for him to wake up. But instead I crawled underneath his bed sheets and held onto him.

I felt him move, and then watched as he fully awakened. He rubbed his eyes and then realized I was in his bed. He didn't say anything at first, just looking at me with confusion. And then he pulls me into him.

I feel relief as he holds onto me. "Chris" I said. "Hmm" he hummed his response. "I'm sorry" I said quietly. I hear him let out a deep breath.

"I'm gonna break up with Jackson" I whispered. Chris didn't respond right away. He pulled me into him closer. "I don't know if I can believe you" he whispered.

His words hit me harder than anything. "I know. I need you to trust me" I respond. "I'm going to break up with him, because-" and as I was letting my emotions flow out of me the words had almost came out my mouth.

The words that I dreaded the most, simply because I was scared Chris didn't feel the same way. I was scared that what was going on between us was just "casual" for him. I was scared that he didn't love me. I was scared the feeling wasn't mutual.

"-because I care about you. so so much Chris. More than I've ever cared about anyone else and it scares me so much" I continued.

Chris stayed silent, seemingly in deep thought. "I'm sorry Chris" I said.

Chris had shifted his position. He sat up, back against his bed headboard. "Come here" he said in a strained tired tone. I crawl onto his lap, straddled on top of him now.

"He doesn't see what I see. He doesn't care like I care" Chris said quietly as his hands hold onto my hips. "I know" I admit truthfully.

Chris moved positions again. He removed me off of him and let my back lay against his bed.

As he towered over me my heart beat picked up pace. He layed his body in between my legs, his head had moved closer to mine. His face inches apart from mine. And then he leaned in to kiss my lips.

As our lips moved against each other, my body started to heat up. And within seconds our bodies were moving with desire. With need. With passion.

He kissed on my neck, then started to suck lightly. "Chris! Don't leave any marks" I warned. He rolled his eyes, wanting to mark me up but obeying to my words.

He had taken my shirt off, revealing the simplistic bra I was wearing. He moved some of the fabric just enough to leave a dark purple hickey on my breast. And even though I had told him to not leave marks, I let him leave a mark on my breast anyways.

I loved his lips, they were my favorite body part of his, but his blue eyes came first.

Chris's hands were running all over my body, every inch. He stopped in the middle of his movements, analyzing my face. "Can I take these off" he asked softly, pulling on my jeans. I nod my head.

And I lifted up my hips, making it easier for my jeans to come off. His body laid against mine after my jeans were completely off. Our bodies grinded against each other.

His hand lowered to my clothed entrance. The only thing separating his hand from touching bare skin was my panties.

Truthfully, I was scared. Not because I didn't like what was going on. But because nobody had ever touched me besides Jackson. I had never done anything sexual with anyone besides Jackson.

I started overthinking, my body subconsciously tensing under Chris's touch.

"What's wrong?" Chris asked noticing my energy shift. I didn't want to tell him, I felt self-conscious. Chris removed his hand from my body.

"Did I do something?" he asks. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. Its just- I don't know. I haven't done anything with anyone besides Jackson. Just nervous" I confessed.

"We don't have to-" he starts but I quickly interrupt. "No I want you to touch me" I stated. "Just nervous" I said. Chris leaned in to kiss me. "Don't be nervous pretty girl, I got you, okay?" he reassured. I nod my head.

His hand wandered back down to my entrance as we continued to kiss eachother with need. "Can I take these off?" he asked, his fingers running across my panties. "Mhm" I hum my response.

And my hips were lifting off the bed again, this time to take off my panties. Once they were fully off Chris had went back to kissing me. Our tongues intertwined, while his hand lowered.

"If you want me to stop at any point just tell me okay?" He said. "Okay" I said, his fingers tracing patterns on my skin before dipping his hand lower.

His finger rubbed over my middle, feeling the wetness between my thighs. My body immediately reacted, becoming more eager. I grabbed onto Chris's bicep.

"So beautiful" Chris praised against my ear. I squeezed my eyes shut as he dips his finger inside me. "Chris" I whispered, trying to steady my breath.

His finger started to penetrate my hole. I tried my best to hold in my moans, considering Matt and Madi were in the same house as us. My back arched, needy for more.

Chris's eyes kept switching. He couldn't decide on whether to watch his finger penetrate me, loving the way my body moved against his finger. Or watch my face, loving how my pleasure showed very clearly in my expressions.

He added a finger, he drooled over the entire scene happening in front of him. My breath became shaky, Chris smiling against me as I gripped onto his bicep harder.

"You okay pretty girl?" he asked, more than amused. I whimpered as the pace of his fingers fastened. "Let me hear you baby" he coaxed. And the simple nickname "baby" alone had me falling into pieces.

He watched me struggle to keep quiet, to keep myself intact. He admired the way I fell apart. He loved seeing me in such a vulnerable state, he wanted to see me in pieces, in the most intimate way.

Chris loved when you rocked your hips, fucking yourself with his fingers. He loved seeing you so needy for him, he knew this moment would replay in his head over and over after it was done.

"Come on pretty girl, you got it" he whispered. Quiet whimpers fell from my lips, feeling so much at once. "Fuck" I cried out feeling the knot in my stomach begin to form.

"Your doing so good" he praised repeatedly hitting my g spot with his fingers. I leaned my head closer to his, needing his lips on mine. Our lips quickly found one another, his fingers keeping a steady pace.

I couldn't keep it together anymore, everything felt so good - too good. I was in such a state of euphoria, moans escaping my mouth. And within seconds my legs were shaking from the breath-taking orgasm I was experiencing.

Chris continued to penetrate his fingers just a little longer before pulling them out, sucking on them and then giving an innocent smile. I saw through the "innocent" facade he was trying to pull.

He watched me try to steady my breath, enjoying every moment of this he could. "So beautiful" he said, staring straight into my soul. As I started to find my breath I put the blanket over my body, feeling extremely exposed.

I rolled over onto my side, extremely tired. Chris spooned me, rubbing his hand on my stomach and his other hand running his fingers through my hair.

"You good?" he asked. I nod my head "tired" I spoke. Chris chuckled. "Let's take a nap yeah?" Chris said. I flipped my position, making him lay on his back so I could rest my head on his chest.

And before falling asleep, I raised my head to kiss Chris. "Do you want me to do something for you? Like give you head or anything?" I asked. Chris looked at me like I was crazy.

"I don't need anything in return, I just wanted to make you feel good" he said. "You sure?' I questioned. "Go to sleep pretty girl" he said. And within minutes I was falling asleep on his chest.

2 hours later

I wake up to Chris playing with strands of my hair. What a beautiful feeling this is.

"Well hello sleepy head" Chris said smiling. "Hey" I responded matching his smile. He played with my hair a little longer before reaching for my clothes.

I had slept without them on. And I was okay with it, I was okay as long as Chris was next to me. I put my clothes back on, feeling an indescribable emotion.

My phone started to ring, Jackson on the caller ID. I looked up at Chris who had looked extremely displeased.

I answered the phone call. "Hey" I said. "Hey where are you. I just went by your place and you weren't there" Jackson said. My heart dropped. Shit.

"I'm at my friend's house, didn't know you wanted to hangout today" I said, trying my best to not sound suspicious.

"What friend?" He asked. "Madi's" I said, looking at Chris who was in front of me. "Okay well can I come hangout with yall or something?" he asked.

"Um" I said, struggling to come up with a quick response. "I was just about to leave, I can come over to your place though" I said. Chris looked annoyed at my words.

"Okay see you soon" Jackson said before hanging up the phone. I put my phone on the bed. "Im sorry" I said, knowing Chris was upset that I had to leave.

"It's fine" he lied. "Gonna miss you" he said, pulling me in for a kiss. I kissed him back.

And shortly after I had left Chris's house.

Jackson and I had gone out to eat at a local diner. I tried so hard to not reminisce on Chris's touch that I had felt just a couple hours prior.

After dinner we went to his place, where unfortunately he was being extra touchy.

I should of known what was about to happen. Even with me dodging his kisses, he always had a way to get me underneath him.

I was breaking Chris's promise. I felt bad, knowing I was risking it all. But I felt as if I needed to make Jackson feel good one last time before breaking up with him.

I felt like I owed Jackson.

I knew this wasn't a good idea. But it didn't stop me from following through with it.

He had taken off my jeans, and then my panties. And everything was going as usual.

Until he took my shirt off.

His face looked confused, very unreadable as he stared at me. "What? Why did you stop?" I asked. Jackson got up off the bed and started dressing himself.

"What? What is it?" I asked watching him put his sweatpants back on. "I knew this was going to happen" he said under his breath.

I was genuinely confused, we were about to have sex. But now he wants to stop all the sudden. Very abnormal behavior for Jackson.

Then my heart dropped. The hickey. The hickey Chris left a couple hours ago, above my right breast. Jackson had saw it.

I took a deep breath. Fuck.

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli

@nessaisabelartemas333 @xoxbunni @sturniolobananas1

@sturn45olo

[magicaldice]

── .✦ welcome to my tumblr

I'm a professional at yearning, overthinking and yapping. I think that pretty much sums up everything. This blog is for the ones who love to love.

✮⋆˙ masterlist ✮⋆˙ extra ✮⋆˙ rules

[magicaldice]

disclaimer!!!

This is fan fiction that I’m writing. Everything I write about the triplets is fictional!!!

Don’t spread hate on my page, you will get blocked. I wont entertain any drama.

Things I won’t write about:

*incest

*anything glorifying domestic abuse

*anything glorifying mental illnesses

*no p!ss kinks or anything of that sort

*I won’t write about Nick in any relationship dynamic that isn’t platonic. I love Nick but I have no idea what it’s like to be a gay man.

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6 pt 7 part 8 pt9

pt 10

"What are you doing?" Chris asks with a nervous tone. "Either shower with me or get out" I respond. And a few moments later he's taking off his shirt. I step into the shower, letting the water stream down my body. Chris followed behind me seconds after.

Chris and I face each other, our eyes locked. He smiles as he studies my energy. I step as close as I can to him, our bare chest's now against each others. I wrap my arms around his neck and soak in his touch.

"I missed you so much" he whispers. "I missed you more".

And seconds later our lips found one another. Soft kisses, thick air and deep intense emotions were making the water of the shower feel immaculate. Chris's lips move to my neck, pressing soft but intentional kisses on the delicate skin.

In this moment everything felt so precious. Chris's touch was so gentle, so soothing. Knowing this was so deeply wrong, but felt so deeply right drove me crazy.

There was officially no excuse for our current behavior. We couldn't blame our actions on anything. And I didn't care.

Chris held onto me, and I held onto him as we let the water wash away the past guilt we had once felt.

"Chris" I said looking into his eyes. "Yes pretty lady" he responded. "I can't lose you" I said, meaning every word. "I can't lose you either" he reassured.

"I'm going to ask a really big favor" I said. "What is it?" he questioned.

"Patience" I responded. "I know that you hate Jackson. I've gotten to that point as well. I just need you to be patient with me, okay?" I said, praying he understands.

He nods his head. "Your going to break up with him right?" He asked, his body language starting to display uncertainty. I nod my head. "Yes- I am- I just need time, okay?" I replied.

He looked away nodding his head. A moment of silence passed, Chris looking like he's lost in his thoughts. The only sound being heard is the water pouring down on us from the shower head. "Chris" I say, placing my hands on his chest.

He snaps back into reality as he heard me call his name. "Yes pretty girl" he answered. "What are you thinking about?" I asked. He didn't respond right away.

"I just- I don't want him to get to touch you anymore" he said. The hot water of the shower mixed with his hands on my waist still making me bask in the feeling of bliss.

"He won't, he won't get to touch me anymore" I say reassuring Chris. He looks at me, analyzing every move and facial expression. "Promise. That he won't get to touch you" he says, his eyes looking almost desperate.

"I promise, he won't get to touch me. Not in the way that you get to" I said before placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

The rest of the shower we spent holding onto each other. Chris lathered the body wash onto my skin, whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

There was nothing lustful about his actions. He attended to you like it was his life's mission. He wanted you to feel loved, cared for, valued.

He was quite literally the complete opposite of Jackson.

After the shower you gave him a pair of your dad's sweatpants that you stole from him almost 2 years ago. You put on an oversized shirt and panties before laying down on your bed.

He drew patterns on your skin with his fingers as he layed next to you.

You both fell asleep, holding onto each other.

3 days pass

It's been 3 days in a row that Chris and I have spent together. And I loved every moment of it.

3 days of feeling safe. 3 days I cherished with my entire soul. 3 days of shared laughter, shared touches, shared kisses.

But our 3 day sleepover came to an end when Jackson said he wanted to hangout tonight.

Me and Chris lay on the bed, not wanting to move. He's spooning me, holding me in his arms.

If only there was a way to stop time.

I know that once Chris left I would be stuck with my own thoughts. I was scared. Me and Chris have been attached to each other's hip for the last 3 days, which left no room for me to overthink.

But now that he has to leave today made me feel sick and anxious. I was attached to Chris. He was my safe person.

Even though we didn’t do anything sexual besides kiss, it felt like we had a chemistry and connection that not even sex could deepen. It was already deep, my soul craved his entire existence.

An hour passed and Chris had left. Katie was walking into the house as he was leaving. I knew she was curious, I knew she had wondered what the hell was happening based off her facial expressions.

I watched Chris pull out the driveway. I had gone to my room, bracing myself for any overwhelming thought that could come up. And as I sat on my bed scrolling on my phone I heard a knock from my bedroom door.

Katie. "Come in" I said. Katie walks into my bedroom and shuts the door behind her. "Sooo" she said. "You and Chris yeah?" she commented, giving me a look of curiosity. "Were just friends" I lied.

"Righhtt. Friends. You mean like friends with benefits or just friends" she said smiling. I jab Katies shoulder as she sits next to me on my bed. "Katie" I laughed. "What? I'm just asking" she laughed with me.

Katie and I continued to talk about what's been going on with our lives recently. We hadn't been able to hangout as much recently. And I missed her.

As much as I wanted to tell her about Chris, I didn't. I felt like I hadn't even properly processed everything between me and Chris. It all just kind of happened.

A couple hours later.

" We should go get stuff to make chicken alfredo" Jackson said. He's currently sitting right next to me, clinging onto my side. "Yeah that sounds good" I responded.

Jackson got up from sitting on the couch and went to his bedroom. I looked down at my phone checking the time. 8:54 p.m.

Jackson came back out of his bedroom with his car keys in his hands. I got up and put my shoes on. As I put my shoes on I felt Jackson grab onto my body, holding me from behind.

I felt sick. I hated that he held onto me, like he actually cared about me. Like he ever actually gave a fuck. We left his apartment and headed to the grocery store.

We walked down the aisles grabbing the ingredients we needed to make the chicken alfredo pasta. I hated how Jackson felt the need to touch me while walking. He wanted to hold hands, hold me from behind, kiss me even though we were in public.

He knew I hated pda. It always made me extremely uncomfortable. But Jackson didn't care, he never considered how I felt. Like usual.

I grab the pasta noodles that we needed from the shelf and I felt Jackson put his hand in mine. It made me cringe. We continued to walk, our hands intertwined.

We had got all the groceries and then headed back to his apartment.

Of course Jackson sat on the couch while I cooked everything for us.

Once I finished cooking, I made our plates and we sat in the living room together and ate. "This is really good babe thank you" Jackson said.

After we finished eating I cleaned up the kitchen.

I sat back down next to Jackson as he watched some show he's rewatched about 50 times. "Come here why you so distant" referring to how I tried to keep some physical distance between us.

He grabbed onto my body and pulled me into him. "I miss you" he said. I tried to keep my composure; I tried to act normal. I tried to pretend to enjoy Jacksons company. But I hated every moment of it.

Jackson's phone dings. He was focused on his phone for a minute. "Would you wanna go to a party tonight?" He asked. He knew I hated parties. In his eyes, I was able to go to parties- but only with him.

"Sure" I said. I only agreed because I knew that his friends would probably be there, which means I don't have to be close and personal with him all night.

After a while we had finished getting ready and headed out.

The party was on a street I recognized. I recognized the neighborhood a little too well. The party was a street down from Chris's house. I had let out a deep breath before walking into the big modern looking house.

The house was crowded, filled with obnoxious drunk people. I followed Jackson to the kitchen. He grabbed two red solo cups and filled them with some type of cheap liquor.

The night went on. I watched Jackson play beer pong with his friends from a distance as I continued to drink. I was pacing my drinking this time, not wanting to overdo it.

It amazed me how Jackson can seem like such a friendly person. He always had a way of portraying himself as a good man, outgoing, friendly, sociable.

I wondered if his friends knew how he actually treated people behind closed doors.

After a while Jackson and his friends stopped playing beer pong and he made his way over to me.

The booze had made me a little more than tipsy by now. Which made it easier for me to stand being around him. He grabbed onto my hand and lead to me the living room.

We sat on a couch, someone handing Jackson a joint. He took a hit of the joint and passed it to me. I took a hit and handed it to the next person.

Jackson grabbed onto my thigh, staring at me with a mischievous look. If I was sober, the way he was looking at me would have bothered me alot more.

He grabbed onto me, pulling me closer before kissing me. I kissed him back as if it was muscle memory. Being under the influence made this more tolerable.

He grabbed onto my body, pulling me onto him. His tounge entered my mouth, the taste of cheap alcohol lingering. His hands were placed on my waist, with his help, my hips started to rock back and forth on top of him.

Chris's POV:

I knew that y/n was at Jackson's house. Which left me all by myself, alone with my thoughts. I hated parties. But I needed to be distracted, plus the party host was one of my friends.

Matt and Madi also came with. They said they wanted to get out of the house.

We had walked to the party, since it was down the street.

Everything was how you would imagine. Drunk people dancing, being obnoxious. It genuinely boggled my mind how this was a normal thing for people.

Madi had handed me and Matt some shots. I would never get used to the taste of alcohol.

Some time passes and the alcohol has loosened me up enough to be more social. "Chris" I hear coming from behind me. I turn around, "Katie?" I say, watching her walk up to me.

"Oh my god it is you" she said. "What are you doing here?" She asks. "The party host is my friend" I said. "Ohhh. It's weird seeing you here. I usually only see you with y/n" she laughed.

I nod my head and laugh. "Yeah, were just friends" I mention, kind of awkwardly. "Yeah okay bud" she said laughing. "You want to take a shot?' she asks while grabbing a cheap bottle of liqour off the kitchen table.

I agree and we take a shot. And then another, and another. At this point I think Katie was trying to kill me. "I tap out" I said laughing, refusing to take another shot.

I wasn't drunk, but I was also more than tipsy. "You wanna go smoke?" Katie asked. "Yeah for sure" I responded. Katie and I walked through the crowd of people, making our way to the living room.

I followed Katie until I watched her stop dead in her tracks. She quickly turned to look at me, her facial expression looking worrisome. "What?" I asked, a slight laugh falling from my lips.

And then I looked in the direction that she had turned to look at. My heart fell to my stomach. Jackson and y/n.

I watch as Jackson's hands guide her hips as she grinds on top of him. Their lips in sync with one another. I watch as she continues to move against him.

I look back at Katie who looks at me with a look of sympathy on her face. I back away, feeling like I had just been stabbed in the heart. I quickly look for an exit. Needing to leave, to run, to escape.

I found the front door and headed outside without any hesitation. I hadn't realized Katie had followed me outside until I hear her call my name.

"Chris!" Katie yelled. She had quickly caught up to me. "Chris" she repeated. I stopped walking and turned around to face her. "Yeah?" I said, trying to keep my composure.

"She doesn't love him ya know" Katie said. “Right" I scoff. Katie rolls her eyes and sighs. "She doesn't love Jackson, I know y/n" she said. "It doesn't matter me and y/n are just friends" I said, clearly lying. "Are you trying to convince me or yourself right now ?' she questioned, sarcastically.

I couldn't come up with a response quick enough. I just stared blanky at Katie, not knowing what to say. "I see the way you guys look at each other, friends don't look at each other like that" she said.

Katie was right. Katie knew without us even telling her. Tears start to form in my eyes. There was so many emotions clouding my mind, I didn't know what to do.

If you didn't know, alcohol and heavy emotions don't mix well together. I sat on the curb, feeling defeated, hurt and betrayed.

Katie sat next to me. "I don't know what she's doing right now Chris, but I promise she doesn't care about Jackson the way she cares for you".

Y/n's POV:

After some time had passed Jackson had went to play some more rounds of beer pong with his friends. I walked into the Kitchen to grab another drink. Feeling the alcohol slowly but steadily influencing my body and mind.

I needed fresh air, it started feeling to crowded inside. I found the front door and made my way outside. I took a deep breath, feeling the alcohol a little too much for my liking.

I hear distant talking, I look in the direction it's coming from. I see two people sitting on the curb. Is that Katie..? I squint my eyes, trying to get a better look. Is that fucking Chris? I decide to walk towards them.

As I get closer I see the girl turn to look at me, it is Katie. Her face drops and she stands up. "What the fuck?" I said confused. Chris's head turns and our eyes lock.

Chris stands up. "What the fuck is going on? You guys are friends now?" I ask. "Y/n" Katie says. "You guys are hanging out together and shit, the fuck is that about?" I say, feeling the alcohol take over.

Chris looks away, refusing to make eye contact with me. I look at Katie who looks oddly nervous. "What? Are you guys a thing now?" I ask, jealousy seeping through my words.

"God y/n, no me and Chris are not a fucking "thing" are you serious right now?" She exclaimed. "Then what the fuck is happening? You guys are all secluded out here doing what? Just hanging? Just enjoying each other's company? Huh? What is it?" jealousy and confusion clearly speaking for me.

Chris's POV:

I didn't know what to say, or do. Y/n was clearly suspicious of me and Katie being out here alone together. It wasn't even like that. In no way shape or form would I ever get with Katie.

I couldn't look at y/n without remembering what I had just saw in that house. How she was all over him, without a care in the world. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. I was trying to keep it together.

But y/n made that hard for me. She yelled at Katie and I, accusing us of being a "thing".

"I just can't believe you right now Katie" y/n had said. And then I snapped.

"Me and Katie aren't a fucking thing y/n. I was leaving because I saw you all over Jackson. You were letting him touch you like he fucking owned you, and Katie just so happened to follow me out here to make sure I was okay" I shouted.

Y/n's face twisted, like she had been slapped with reality. She stared at me, and I could see the heavy emotions in her eyes. "Me and you are friends Chris" she said, her voice shaky and tears in her eyes.

I shake my head and scoff "Right" I said. "Friends who kiss and hold each other to sleep at night" I said, our eyes still locked on each other. Katie had slowly backed away as she watches everything unfold.

Tears fall from y/n's eyes. "You said he wouldn't get to touch you like that" my voice trembled. Y/n looks at Katie and then back at me, breathing heavily. "Chris!" I hear my name being called.

I look to see Madi and Matt walking towards us. Fuck.

Katie and y/n noticed them walking towards us as well. Once they get to us they immediately pick up on the energy. Madi looks over at Katie. "Hey" she said smiling. Katie returned the greeting.

"What's going on?" Matt asked. "Nothing I was just going home" I responded, avoiding eye contact with y/n. "You okay? You look live you've been crying" Madi said looking at y/n.

Y/n shook her head. "Y/n!" a man's voice called. Jackson was over in the driveway looking confused. Y/n looked back over at me. The group looked back and forth between me and y/n.

"Did something happen?" Madi asked, completely oblivious to the current situation. "I gotta go" y/n said and then quickly walked towards Jackson.

I wanted to follow her, I wanted to scream her name. But I didn't. Katie had went back into the party and Matt, Madi and I walked home together.

I hated this. I hated feeling like this. I hated not being able to talk to y/n. She had made it clear that she didn't want me. Atleast not in the same way I wanted her. She made it clear that she wasn't mine.

And all I could do was cry, all I could do was feel the weight of the words that were left unsaid.

taglist

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli

@nessaisabelartemas333 @xoxbunni @sturniolobananas1 @sturn45olo

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6 part 7 pt 8 pt 9

pt 10

Katie had noticed something was wrong the night she picked me up from Chris's. I didn't mention anything about what happened. I had just made an excuse that I was tired.

It's been 2 weeks of ignoring text from Madi. She had noticed I stopped coming around, texting me showing her concern. I didn't want to ignore her, I really didn't.

But I had been so disgusted with myself. I had no idea how to approach the situation that happened, so I tried to forget it happened. I tried so hard to forget.

But how could I? I couldn't forget that I had cheated on Jackson. There were no excuses, nothing I could blame it on. Which made it ten times worse.

I couldn't forget the way Chris had stared at me. The way our lips had been perfectly in sync with another, in the most natural way possible. As if our lips were meant to meet in this lifetime. As if our lips were specifically designed for one another.

Chris hadn't tried to reach out to me since that night. He hadn't texted or called. And I knew it was a good thing, but it hurt for reasons I couldn't explain.

Jackson had been coming over to my house more than I'd like. But I let it happen anyways because it was a distraction. Not a very good one, but it helped.

And for some reason Jackson had been nicer these past two weeks. Less rough, less arguing and less controlling. It confused me because I wasn't used to that type of treatment from him.

Anytime I was alone my heart would ache. I felt deep guilt and shame that wouldn't go away. I had cheated on Jackson and I couldn't forgive myself. I just couldn't.

Many, many times I had contemplated on texting Chris. I didn't even know what I could say after everything. There was nothing that could justify our actions.

It's not just the cheating that weighed on my mind. Despite hating the fact that I cheated, I had enjoyed it, I loved every second of Chris's lips on mine. Which makes me even more in the wrong.

I currently am laying in bed, trying my hardest to ignore every thought that forms in my brain. I scroll through social media, fighting the urge to text Chris.

I click on Madi's Instagram story. It's a video of her and Matt taking shots in their kitchen. And in the background, you can see Chris sitting on the couch in the living room on his phone. And a few seconds into the video a girl walks and sits on the couch next to him. The video ends.

The video was posted an hour ago.

My thoughts start to spiral.

My heart clenches against my chest. He doesn't care that I cheated on Jackson with him. He doesn't care that I had spent the last 2 weeks completely miserable. He's already hanging out with another girl.

How could I be so naive? He had spent time with me. He had gotten to know me. We had sat for hours talking about our fears, our dreams, our hopes and desires. All for nothing.

Just for me to ruin my relationship. He hadn't reached out to me the past 2 weeks because he had already moved on to other girls. The fact that I had cheated on Jackson with him obviously didn't bother him in any type of way. In fact he probably enjoyed knowing how fucking miserable I felt.

Because this was obviously his plan. He had deceived me. He just wanted to play the long game to try to get me to have sex with him. He wanted to use me. He wanted to fuck me over just for the fun of it.

I put my phone on the nightstand next to me. I felt hurt, betrayal and resentment.

Fuck this shit.

I go to Katie's room, feeling impulsive. I open her door and she smiles. "Hello beautiful" she said. "Ms. Katie. How do you feel about drinking tonight?" I asked smiling. Her jaw drops. "You must be a clone of y/n" she says jokingly.

I roll my eyes playfully. "I'm serious. You down?" I ask plopping onto her bed.

An hour later Katie and I were chilling in the living room with a couple people she had invited over. There was about 10 other people with us right now.

I had never met any of them but they were all very cool and honestly very fun to be around. They all had brought such good vibes and now that I'm a couple shots deep I finally had felt loosened up.

Another hour goes by and I'm having way to much fun.

I kept drinking, maybe more than I should of.

I had posted a video of me and Katie taking shots with some of the guys she invited. Didn't even think about it, didn't care about the consequences.

And some time went by before I feel my phone buzzing. I grab my phone out of my pocket looking at the caller ID. Chris.

He was calling. And I didn't think twice before answering.

"Helllooo stranger" I said into the phone, trying to not slur my words. "Y/n I saw your story what are you doing?" He asked sounding a little too serious for my liking. "What are you doing?" I responded.

"This isnt a game y/n. What are you doing right now?" He said. "Can you chill the fuck out bro. Im just with friends" I responded, still not fully processing what's happening as the alcohol was slowly taking over.

"You sound drunk" he said blankly. "And youuu don't sound drunk enough" I said laughing. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You don't even like to drink, and now your drunk on a random Tuesday like it's nothing" he commented.

I wasn't really registering what he was saying. I was so consumed by the alcohol in my system. I was swaying back and forth when Katie walked up right next to me.

"Who are you on the phone with?" She asked. "I have no idea" I joked. She grabs my phone out of my hand and puts it up to her ear. "Shell call you back tomorrow she's busy" she said into the phone, not even waiting for a response from Chris before hanging the phone up.

I felt sick. And Katie had noticed right away. She followed me to the bathroom. I had thrown up over and over, feeling so much at once.

I had layed on the floor next to the bathroom, body weak. I start to laugh while feeling so dizzy. Katie laughs with me as I lay across the bathroom floor.

"Pose" Katie said laughing, holding up her phone to take a picture. I couldn't move so I just stayed on the floor. I heard the camera click and we continued to laugh.

The next morning

I woke up in my bed feeling slightly hungover. I had fun last night, it felt good to be social and loosen up.

I scroll through my social media. Katie had posted me on the floor in the bathroom. I laugh, I looked hammered.

And then my stomach turned. I had completely forgot Chris had called me last night until now.

I check my messages.

from jackson: call me right fucking now.

from chris: please call me in the morning y/n. be safe.

from madi: hey girl can you call me soon.

I set my phone down and let out a breath.

And instead of letting myself overthink anything I call Madi. She never deserved to be ghosted. She didnt deserve to be ignored these past 2 weeks.

Ring. Ring. Ring. "Hello" Madi said into the phone. "Hey" I said letting out a deep breath. "Girl I miss you what the hell" she said. I sigh, knowing I unintentionally hurt her feelings.

After talking to Madi on the phone for a little bit she asked if she could come over. 20 minutes later she was inside my house, sitting on my bed in my bedroom.

"You partied last night" she said stating the obvious. "Yeah I didn't really intend to get that fucked up last night. But shit happens" I chuckle. We talked a little bit more about me drinking way too much last night before she brought up what I hoped she wouldnt.

"Ya know- Chris is worried about you" she said. "Chris is not worried about me" I laughed. She gives me a look of confusion. "Why would you think that?" she asked.

"Did you guys party last night too?" I asked referring to the video she had posted on her insta story, of her and Matt taking a shot. "We had some people over and had a few drinks but nothing to crazy".

I nodded my head, fighting the urge to ask if Chris was with another girl. And I shouldn't even care if he was, it's not like he was mine.

"Chris told me to invite you over last night" she stated. I didn't respond. Every time she said his name it felt like my heart would tear. "Did you and him get in a argument or something?" she questioned. I shake my head no.

I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't tell her I had cheated on Jackson with Chris. I couldnt.

"What is it then girl? Something had to have happened" she persisted. "I'm sorry I just don't really want to talk about it" I responded, shame seeping through my words. Madi analyzed my face, trying to read my energy.

2 hours had passed of me and Madi hanging out in my room. It was comforting to be around her. And after awhile she had left. Before she left she had told me to come over later if I could. And I told her i'd think about it.

I had been on Facetime with Jackson ever since Madi left my house. He had been yelling at me over and over. He was pissed that there were guys at my house last night drinking with me and Katie. He said it made him look bad.

I had reassured him as many times as I could. But it wasn't enough. "Your a fucking slut y/n" he shouted. "Your an irresponsible selfish fucking bitch" he continued. "Im sorry" I kept repeating.

"Do you ever think about anyone but your fucking self? Or are you just fucking dumb?" He shouted. He continued to yell and lecture me for 30 minutes. And I just sat there and took it because I felt like I deserved it.

"I'm coming over" he said harshly before hanging up. I knew I was about to be screamed at. Katie wasn't home and I wanted to run. I wanted to just leave. I wanted to escape everything.

And before I knew it Jackson was pounding on my front door. I opened the door, wanting nothing more but to just disappear. He walked into my room and I followed behind him.

He stood in front of me, breathing heavily. "What is your fucking problem, huh?" He yelled. I sat on my bed, not responding. I had so much anxiety it felt like I was having an outer body experience.

"I have shown you nothing but love, I have done everything for you!" he yelled. I stayed silent, tears forming in my eyes. "Fucking respond!" he yelled pounding his fist against my bedroom door.

My heart beat fastened at his actions. "Im sorry jackson" I said quietly tears streaming down my face. "No your fucking not!" he shouted pounding onto my door with his fist again.

"You deserve better Jackson. Im sorry" I said, body shaking. Jackson towered over me before grabbing onto my wrist tightly. I had winced at how hard his grip is on my wirst. "Fuck you y/n" he said. "Let my wirst go Jackson it hurts" I whined. He gripped onto my wrist tighter.

"Your a fucking whore" he said through gritted teeth, letting go of my wrist. I grab onto my wrist and I had started violently sobbing, not being able to think clearly anymore.

Jackson went silent and watched me hold onto my own body. I felt so lifeless, so small, so fucking small. After a few seconds Jackson had sat next to me on my bed. He sighed before grabbing onto me, pulling me into his chest.

"Im fucking sorry y/n" he said quietly while holding onto me. "Im sorry. You just get me so mad sometimes" he continued. "I just wished you would make better decisions" he said.

Jackson's phone rang and within a few seconds he said he needed to leave.

After he left I couldn't move. My body felt weak and tired. The tears never stopped. I had tried so hard to just breathe and I couldn't. I wanted to call Katie. I wanted to call my mom. I didn't though, I layed on my bed until I fell asleep.

I don't know how long I was asleep but I had waken up to my house doorbell ringing and knocking on the door.

I get up quickly.

I open the door and see Chris standing in front of me. "Chris?" I say outloud. "Can I come in please".

I had let Chris in and we sat in my room together. "You don't look too good right now" he said. I nod my head, not responding with words. I held my body close to me.

"I'm sorry y/n. for everything. I don't want you to blame yourself, it wasn't your fault" he started. "I should have never pushed boundaries, I'm so sorry" he said.

"Have you been with other girls?" I asked hesitantly. Chris looked confused. "Last night. Madi had posted a video and in the background there was a girl sitting next to you on the couch".

"That was Madi's sister. Her boyfriend was there as well" he said smiling. A relief crossed my body. I shouldnt have cared either way. But I felt better knowing he hadn't been with other girls.

"Can I please hug you y/n" he asked. I shook my head and he pulled me into him. "I'm begging you to forgive me. I don't want to lose you, I was so selfish" he stated. He massages his fingers onto my scalp, stroking my hair gently.

He held onto me and I felt alive again. "You make me feel safe" I had admitted. He held onto me tighter. "I need to take a shower" I said looking at the time on my phone. 10:43 p.m. "Noo I just got here. I haven't got to spend enough time with you" he whined.

"Okay well you can stay out here while I shower so that way we can still hang out after my shower If you want" I offered. And he quickly agreed to wait for me while I shower.

As I got undressed in the bathroom to take my shower I had thought of Chris who was in the other room. I never want to lose him. In fact I felt like I needed him. He was the only man who has made me feel like this. So safe. So comfortable.

And I knew what I was about to do was so wrong. But I didn't care at this point. I needed Chris to know. I needed him to understand. And as I had finished stripping out of my clothes I turned the hot water on. I step towards the bathroom door, heart beating fast.

"Chris" I yelled out, hiding my naked body behind the bathroom door. A few seconds later I hear footsteps and then I watch as he approaches the bathroom door. "Yeah?" He asked.

I open the door completely, letting him see me completely naked. He looked at me with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. "Please shower with me" I said quietly. And without hesitation he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

As wrong as this was, it was the only thing that felt right.

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli

@nessaisabelartemas333 @sturniolobananas1 @xoxbunni

[magicaldice]

The Fate Of Patience

picture Katie took of y/n

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 part 6 pt 7 pt 8 pt 9

pt 10

After Chris had stayed the night at my house I felt a feeling that was unfamiliar. I couldn't decipher what exactly what I was feeling but it was close to guilt.

Katie had seen Chris leave the house in the morning. She had gave me a "what the hell" kind of look but never said anything. I didn't want her to make it a big thing, and she didn't.

It's been 4 days since he stayed the night. 4 days of confusing mixed emotions. 4 days of my thoughts weighing heavy, suffocating my heart. 4 days thinking to the point of exhaustion.

Jackson had been over 3 days in a row, which is very unusual. He usually only would come over for sex and leave. Or whenever we did hangout, it was never 3 days in a row.

I shouldn't mind, afterall Jackson was my boyfriend. The thing was, Jackson and I being around each other so much the last 3 days has made things harder. I wasn't able to text or hangout with Chris at all. The main reason being Jackson didn't know I was friends with Chris in the first place.

He would kill me if he knew I was friends with a man, let alone have sleepovers with Chris. I wasn't trying to keep it a secret, but I also wasn't trying to tell Jackson either.

I told myself if Jackson was to be cool with me being friends with another man I would of told him by now. But honestly I don't even think that's the truth anymore.

I had so many thoughts swarming my mind any time I was alone. And 9 times out of 10 they were about Chris.

Chris made me feel something I never felt before. He somehow made it easier for me to be comfortable in my own skin. He had made me feel safe to be myself. And I couldnt stand it.

And what I mean by that is I hate that he has made those things possible for me because now, I wanted to spend every minute I had available with him. And I couldn't now that Jackson and I have hungout with each other 3 days in a row.

Jackson's currently in the shower. He brought me back to his place and said he was going to take a shower before we lay down. Jackson was acting weird these past 3 days. More clingy than usual.

But while he was in the shower I had checked my notifications.

from chris: I miss u. tell your boyfriend to go bother someone else so I can come pick u up

to chris: u know I cant do that. miss u 2.

from chris: yea yea I know. lmk when u can hang

I put my phone on dnd. Jackson walks into the room, towel wrapped around his waist. "Who you texting" he asks. "What? No one" I lied, a little too quickly. It was hard to be present with Jackson when the only thing my mind would let me think about was Chris.

"Come here. Wanna see you underneath me" Jackson said, letting the towel fall from his waist. My stomach turns. Should of knew this was coming.

Chris's POV:

I hated the way she made me feel. She made me feel things I hadn't felt in so long. I felt cared for and thinking about it always made my stomach turn.

But at the same time she had made me feel jealous. I know it was never intentional, but the jealousy still existed in my heart. I hated her boyfriend. I hated how he was the one who got to call her "mine".

This wasn't about infatuation, possessiveness or fucking attraction anymore. This was deeper than that now. And I hated the way it made me feel so indecisive. Every bone in my body told me to let her be, just let her go and move on with my life.

Every inch of my body wanted me to run away again, run from my feelings, run from her. But I wouldn't let myself. I couldn't.

It's been 4 days since I spent the night at her house. 4 days since getting to spend time with her. 4 days since having an actual conversation. 4 days since I held her as she fell asleep in my arms.

She's been with Jackson for the last 3 days and I hated every second of it. How she wasn't able to hangout with me, or even text.

I couldn't keep my mind off her even if I tried. I hated it. I didn't know what to do anymore. How much longer I could keep it a secret. How much longer I could pretend like I didn't have feelings for her.

A part of me wanted to tell her. A part of me thought she could possibly already know. I felt like every time we hungout I got worse at hiding how I actually felt.

The sleepovers. The eyes that lingered too long. The most obvious excuses just to have some sort of physical contact. The compliments. It was getting more intense and harder for me to hide it.

Y/n has a boyfriend. And I know she wouldn't cheat but deep down I hoped she would. And as bad as that sounds I didn't give a fuck. I wanted her, I needed her.

Y/n's POV:

I'm finally at my house after spending the last 3 days with Jackson. I felt like I could breathe again. I sit on my bed debating if I should text Chris or not. I wanted to but at the same time maybe I shouldn't.

To be completely truthful, I'm almost scared to hangout with Chris now. After the constant thinking of him, constant confusing feelings I've felt over the last couple days.

I feel like I've been so caught up with Chris recently that I have been so distant with Jackson. Despite being with Jackson for the last 3 days I wasn't able to actually focus on him.

I felt disconnected from Jackson and that put fear in my heart. Jackson has been my boyfriend for a year, losing him sounds awful.

And yeah Jackson isn't perfect but he's been there ya know. He's shown me love in his own way.

After spending some time thinking I decided to facetime Jackson.

The call had gone terrible. He didn't answer the first time I called but the second time I called he picked up the phone irritated to say the least.

He had been in the middle of an "important" video game match.

I had went to Katie's room to maybe talk to her about how I feel but she wasn't there. Which isn't a surprise, she's barely ever home anymore.

A couple hours pass

I texted Chris, even though I probably needed to distant myself from him. And he had answered right away.

He came and picked me up and as soon as I got around him, I felt like a living person again.

We got to his house and Madi and Matt were sitting in the living room. We had all hungout together for awhile before Madi and Matt went to their bedroom.

Chris had grabbed my hand and led me to his bedroom, like it was a routine we had subconsciously made. We sat on the bed talking for awhile.

"I don't know, Jackson being extra clingy for 3 days straight is just surprising. It felt weird" I said to Chris, who was rolling a blunt next to me. "Why did it feel weird?" Chris asked, his eyes focused on blunt. "I don't know. I guess he just never wants to hangout multiple days in a row" I responded.

"I hate your boyfriend" Chris blurts out, his eyes still focused on rolling the blunt. I don't respond.

He lit the blunt and I watched as he inhaled the smoke. We passed the blunt back and forth, letting the thc mellow us out.

"You look good" Chris says out of the blue, his eyes now glossed over. I smiled before hitting the blunt.

After we finish the blunt we both sprawled out on his bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling.

"I missed you" he said. "I missed you too" I respond. "You should just live here" he said as if that was something totally casual to say. "Chris" I look over at him. "I know I just hate when your not with me" he says, his eyes still staring at the ceiling above us.

My stomach twisted at his words. I let out a deep breath. It's gotta be the weed that's making him talk like this I tell myself.

"We should order food" I say trying to subtly change the subject. Chris sits up on the bed and looks at me. I sit up off the bed and face him.

Without saying anything Chris grabs onto my body, placing me on top of his lap. I'm taken back by his actions, now straddled on his lap. "Chris" I said quietly, staring into his eyes with perplexity. "Yeah?" he says.

I want to speak, I want to ask why he just placed me on his lap. I want to tell him that having me on his lap isn't a good idea. I wanted to tell him that Jackson would kill me if he saw me straddled on him. But all of my thoughts go silent when I feel his hand rub against my lower back.

The physical contact with Chris is too much. It's so overpowering, and my body heats up quickly. "Chris" I said once again, trying to form a coherent thought. "Yeah?' he repeats.

I don't respond, because I don't know how at the moment. "You okay?" he asks. I nod my head. Chris places both his hands on my hips. "You're so beautiful you know that?" he says. My breath is shaky and my heart is racing. keep it together y/n.

His eyes are locked on mine, glossed over and seeping with heavy emotions. "I don't think I should be on you like this" I said quietly. He doesn't respond, his hands just grip onto my hips gently.

Our faces are inches apart and the tension between us is close to overwhelming. "You can get off of me if you want" he said softly. I hated this so much. Because I should want to get off of him. And as much as I should, I don't get off. The feeling of desire taking over my body and thoughts.

Chris is staring at me, in a way that says he wants to touch me in ways he shouldn't. "You shouldn't be looking at me like that" I said quietly. I watch as he smiles innocently, masking the intense desire that lays beneath.

"You can get off of me if you want" he repeats. "I don't want to" I said quickly. He stares into my eyes, like he's searching for something. Analyzing my face as his hands start to run all over my lower body. "I want to make you feel good" he said, barely above a whisper.

My heart is thumping against my chest. "Were friends Chris" I said trying so hard to keep my composure. "Mhm" he hummed. "Let me make you feel good, as your friend yeah?" he purred. His hands stop moving and he stares into my eyes once again.

I knew this was wrong. I knew I was supposed to be a good person and get off of his Chris's lap. I knew I wasn't supposed to be looking at him the way I was. I knew I needed to tell Chris that this was wrong and that I couldn't be this intimate with him.

But no matter how hard I tried convincing myself to get off of his lap I couldn't get myself to. Instead I was in a trance by his touch. The way he had gripped onto my lower body had me melting and I couldn't talk myself out of it.

"Were friends" I repeated, breath shaky. "Friends can kiss sometimes right?" he coaxed before brushing my bottom lip with his thumb. And without thinking I leaned in, and that's when everything I had tried suppressing came back to life.

His lips pressed against mine, our mouths in sync with one another. The feeling of desire, the feeling of need had crashed upon me. The kisses weren't rushed, they were needy but slow.

Every confused feeling I had felt these past few days were no longer confusing .They were very clear in this very moment.

With my lips repeatedly pressing against his, my body had felt on fire. I felt alive, adrenaline pumping through my veins. His hand runs through my hair gently as he lowers his kisses down to my jaw. My heart beats faster than ever as he kisses the sweet spot on my neck.

I was so caught up in the moment that when my phone started ringing it had startled me.

My body freezes and Chris stops kissing my neck. I grab my phone and see Katie's name on the caller ID. I immediately get off Chris's lap and answer.

"Hello" I say into the phone, trying to steady my breath. "Hey where you at?" she asked. I look over at Chris who is refusing to make eye contact with me. "At a friend's house why?" I responded.

"Oh okay was just gonna ask if you were gonna be home tonight" she said. "Yeah. Yeah I'll be there".

After a few more words and exchanging goodbyes I had hung up the phone. I look over at Chris who is staring at the floor. "Im sorry" he said. "I need to leave" I said.

"No don't leave" he said grabbing my arm quickly. "I have a boyfriend Chris. And I love him. I need to go" I said. Chris lets go of my arm and I walk out to the living room, put my shoes on and head out the door.

I wait outside after calling Katie back to come pick me up.

What the fuck did I just do?

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli @nessaisabelartemas333 @sturniolobananas1 @xoxbunni

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 pt 4 part 5 pt 6 pt 7 pt 8 pt 9

pt 10

I had waken up to an empty bed. Which is alarming because I was in Chris's bed and had fell asleep with him in it. I grab my phone off of the nightstand and check my messages.

Jackson hadn't even crossed my mind until now, when I read his message asking where I was at. I don't answer because I'm more curious of where Chris was.

I get up and walk out to the living room hoping to see him out there. And when I realize he's not at the house I get even more confused and curious. He didn't mention last night anything about having to leave early.

I text Madi to ask if she's awake and I hear footsteps coming down the hallway shortly after. "Hey girl good morning" she says. "Hey have you seen Chris?" I ask. Her body language changes, becoming almost unsettled.

"Yeah, he left. But he didn't really say much before leaving" she said kind of hesitantly. "Oh" I responded quietly. "When did he leave?" I questioned. "Like 2 hours ago I think" she said uncertain.

She watches me, noticing my energy change quickly. "He'll be back girl don't overthink" she said. I nod my head and sit down on the couch. "I actually need to leave I have some stuff to do" I said. "You sure you don't want to stay for breakfast?" She asks. And I declined the offer feeling to anxious to eat.

"Well I can have Matt give you a ride home" she voiced. "No it's okay" I said. "He can take you he has to go to the store anyways" she insisted. And a few seconds later she disappeared down the hallway.

Shortly after she came back out to the living room, followed by Matt. I give Madi a hug and head out to Matt's car.

"You okay?" he asked as we got into his vehicle. I shake my head. "You don't look to sure" he said. "I'm okay I just- I don't know" I respond. "It's Chris isn't it" Matt assumed, very much correctly. "Yeah" I responded quietly.

Matt let out a deep breath. "He disappears sometimes. It's just something he does" Matt explained. "Why?" I questioned. "Did he say what he was doing or going?" I continued to ask. Matt shakes his head. "He'll come around, don't worry about it too much" Matt says trying to reassure me.

"Listen I know you and him are friends and all, but I just want you to be cautious" Matt says continuing to keep his eyes on the road. "What do you mean by that?" I asked. "I love my brother, I really do. It's just he can be complicated in certain aspects. All I'm saying is to be careful" Matt spoke.

And after him telling me that I stayed silent the rest of the ride. When I got home I finally texted Jackson back. I told him I spent the night at my friends house and hoped he wouldn't be mad about it. I waited for a couple hours hoping Chris would text me and he never did.

Jackson had texted me asking why I was staying at my friends house so much recently. And I couldn't come up with a good enough reason other than the fact that I wanted to be around Chris. So I didn't respond, I went to sleep instead.

The next day went by slowly. I had hungout with Jackson just to be ignored as he scrolled on his phone for endless hours. It was either his phone or he would play video games on his Xbox. And with Jackson barely acknowledging my existence despite being in the same room as him, it led me to anxiously thinking about Chris for hours.

I think back to when me and Chris were on his bed, when he had caressed my face. My body had almost felt like it was floating.I dont even know how to describe it. I don't know if it was some type of tension between us but it had me me think way too much.

It had made me feel confused. It was like I had been so affected by Chris in a way that I had never been by Jackson. And it made me wonder if that was wrong.

And as much as I felt confused by it, I felt like I wanted it to happen again. I felt close to Chris, like we had a genuine bond. He was my friend, and I cared about him. I wanted to be around him, in his presence.

And when I was thinking about the moment on his bed with him, I felt guilty. Not because we crossed a line or did anything, but because a part of me deep down almost felt as if I wanted something to happen.

And right then and there, when that thought had crossed my mind I felt ashamed. I was in a relationship with Jackson. And I cared about Jackson. I would never cheat on him, ever.

I had got tired of thinking so much so I had scrolled on my phone for hours and listened to music. Anything to make sure I couldn't form a single thought.

It had now been 2 days since I heard from Chris and I had started to worry so much that I felt sick. It was about 6 pm when I had got tired of feeling like shit so I fell asleep.

2 hours later I wake up to Katie shaking me out of my sleep. "Y/n wake the fuck up" she said urgently. As soon as I gained consciousness my body went into fight or flight mode.

'What! Whats going on!" I yelled, heart beating fast. "There's a man at the door asking to see you" she said. "I don't know who it is but he's cute, hurry I told him I was gonna come get you" she said rushing me to get up.

I walked quickly to the front door and opened it. "Chris?". He looked at me with a sorry look on his face. "You can come in if you want" I offered, hoping he would come inside. After a few seconds he followed me inside and into my room.

Him and I sat on my bed. "Im sorry" he immediately said. "I don't know what happened I just needed time to think" he explained. "Time to think about what?" I asked. "Nothing, im just sorry" he said.

"You had me so worried, I didn't know where you went. I didn't know if you were okay" I said clearly still concerned. "I am I just- I'm sorry but I don't really want to talk about it" he expressed. "Why? Did I do something?" I asked, not understanding why he wouldn't open up to me. "No, you didn't do anything I promise" he said looking away from me before grabbing onto my hand and squeezing it lightly.

Thick silence fell between us. "I missed you" he said quietly with my hand still in his. "I missed you too" I replied quietly, still concerned and confused. But I didn't want to push it, if he didn't want to tell me what was wrong I wasn't gonna force him to.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. I couldn't really read his energy even when I so badly wanted to. "Can I hug you?' he asked. I nodded and he pulled my body into his. The hug lasted longer than what it normally would, as if he was trying to tell me something without using his words.

He had finally let go, and looked back at my face as if he was relieved. "You able to hangout for awhile?" I asked him. "Yeah".

We had sat and talked for a bit. And when he told me we should go on a walk I agreed. Fresh air sounded good.

Chris's POV:

I had ran, doing the one thing I told myself not to do. When I had waken up to y/n sleeping in my bed that morning it scared me. It hurt me. Because I knew that even though she was in my bed, she would have to wake up and go back home and see Jackson.

I wanted nothing more than to stay in that bed with her. But I had fallen so deeply into my own thoughts, which caused me to run. I had went and stayed at my friend Nate's house for 2 days before convincing myself to come back and talk to her.

Me and y/n that night had stayed up talking for hours about a variety of things. I had never sat and talked about childhood stories or about my family with a girl. I had never opened up like that to anyone before. It fucking frightened me.

And I knew she was probably worried and confused on why I had left. But I knew that it was getting harder to pretend. To pretend like I was okay with her going back to Jackson. To pretend that I could only feel for her as a friend. To pretend that what I felt for her was deeper than what I had expected to feel.

I wanted to tell her so bad. That I hated feeling things for people because I couldn't regulate my emotions properly. I didn't know how to control them at times, even when I needed to the most. I hated being vulnerable, but it was different with her.

Feeling things in general was hard enough, but feeling what I felt for her was scary. It was so risky for me. And I know I was selfish for ghosting her for those 2 days. But it was like a habit of mine that was hard to break free from.

I knew that leaving her was wrong. It made me feel extremely guilty. I was scared of losing her when she wasn't even mine to begin with. But I couldn't bring myself to just give up on being friends with her. I had talked myself into showing up at her house.

We talked for a bit before I asked if she wanted to go on a walk. She had agreed and we proceeded to walk around with no destination in mind. And I didn't care as long as she was next to me.

Y/n POV:

The walk was quiet. But I didn't care, as long as he was next to me. "You okay?" he asked out of the blue. "Yeah. Just thinking" I responded. "About what?" he had asked curiously. "I don't know to be honest. My mind has kind of been all over the place recently" I admitted.

"Well if you want to talk about anything I'm here" Chris said reassuring me. I didn't respond as we kept walking next to each other.

I had gasped at the sight of a beautiful cat that was walking towards us. "Come here kitty" I said excitedly. The cat walked right up to us and I bent down to pet it. "Your such pretty baby" I said softly to the cat.

Chris had started to rub my head as I was bent over petting the cat. It felt like a sweet moment. "The cat is almost as pretty as you" Chris said continuing to stroke my hair. His words made me shiver. "the cat is almost as pretty as you".

After a bit the cat had wandered off and we had ended up walking back to my house.

I was laying on my bed, Chris sitting next to me staring off into space. "Chris" I said. He looked over at me with tired eyes. "Yeah?" He asked.

My phone started buzzing, Jackson's calling. I look at the phone and then at Chris who looks as if he's trying mask disappointment. Or maybe defeat.

And before I grab my phone, Chris reaches for it quickly. "Give it back" I demanded. With my phone in his hands he puts it has high as he can in the air. He smiles and shakes his head. I crawl over to him, reaching for my phone. "Chris this isn't funny give it back" I complained.

He laughs watching me struggle to reach the phone in his hands as he holds it in the air as high as he can. I crawl on top of him, reaching for the phone. I finally was able to grab it but not before the phone stopped ringing.

I didn't realize the way I was practically straddled onto Chris’s lap until now. He grabs onto my hips softly, and looks down at how our bodies are so close together.

My heart fastened as his hands are still placed on my hips. He looks back up at me, and he swallowed hard while looking uneasy. I can feel my face heat up, a pink tint coming across my cheeks.

"Sorry I wasn't really paying attention I was just trying to get my phone" I said, feeling his hands still placed on my hips. "It's okay" he says quietly, his eyes flicking between my eyes and lips.

A few seconds of silence and staring into eachothers eyes pass before I hear my phone ding. I quickly get off of Chris's lap and check my message.

Jackson's upset I didn't answer his phone call. I would have answered if Chris hadn't snatched my phone from me. I text Jackson back and make up some dumb excuse of why I didn't respond.

Chris gets up off the bed and grabs his phone that's on my nightstand. "I should go it's getting late" he said. Chris's energy has shifted, I'm not entirely sure to what but he seems to be masking how he's really feeling.

"Don't leave" I blurt out without thinking. Chris looks at me as if he's confused. "Just stay the night" I said letting out a deep breath. Chris is still standing there, almost as if he's frozen. "Please" I said desperately.

"And your boyfriend- he's okay with me being here?" Chris asked, already knowing the answer to his own question. "If you don't want to stay you don't have to" I said.

A few seconds pass before Chris sits down back on my bed. Every time I was around him, I felt like I never had enough time.

And yeah, I know it could seem bad to want Chris to stay with me, putting my phone on silent so that way I couldn't hear Jackson blowing up my phone. But I didn't care at the moment.

I wanted to be around Chris, maybe a little too much. But he was my friend, the closest friend I had since I met Katie. The friendship I had with Chris was secure, and comforting.

Jackson would throw a fit if he knew Chris and I were friends. He would throw an even bigger fit if he knew how many times I've hungout with Chris, or that I had stayed the night with Chris. Or that Chris was about to stay the night with me.

And maybe I should feel guilty, or ashamed. I should feel upset at myself for not getting off Chris's lap more quickly earlier. I should feel bad for liking when I feel a weird slight tension between me and Chris.

And maybe I am reading too far into things. Maybe when Chris compliments me he's just being friendly. Maybe him placing his hands on my hips, seemingly wanting to hold me in place as if he didn't want me to get off of him, was just him being friendly.

I knew Chris was my friend. I knew that I would never cheat on Jackson. But I also knew I felt more like myself around Chris more than I ever did with Jackson. And that weighed on my mind more times than I could count.

And as me and Chris sit on my bed, staring at each other nothing else mattered. All that mattered was that Chris was here with me. And as long as he was next to me I could be content. I could be myself, and I could breathe without feeling guilty for existing.

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld @mattstromboli @nessaisabelartemas333

[magicaldice]

The Fate Of Patience

Chris & Y/n on a walk for fresh air.

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 pt 3 part 4 pt 5 pt 6 pt 7 pt 8 pt 9

pt 10

I woke up my body completely frozen, realizing Chris's arms were wrapped around my body. This is morally wrong, I mean if Jackson saw me and Chris like this he would have a stroke. I think to myself some more, if its wrong then why do I like it so much?

I should leave, go home and text Jackson to make sure he's okay. And my brain was screaming at me telling me to get up and leave. But my body wanted to stay here for as long as possible.

It's not actually wrong is it? To be snuggled up in Chris's arms. I mean he's a friend, and friends do this sometimes. It's not like we're doing anything sexual.

I let out a deep breath and try to move around, trying to get up so I could leave. But Chris made it hard for me, gripping onto me tighter, pulling me back in closer as soon as he felt me move.

I had never experienced someone wanting to hold me without the feeling of being lusted over. This felt comforting, soothing and innocent.

And when I hear footsteps walking down the hallway it brings me back to reality. I struggle to get out of Chris's grip, causing him to wake up from all the moving I'm doing.

"Good morning" Madi says coming around the corner. "Good morning" I said back before looking at Chris who is rubbing his tired eyes. "You sleep good?" Madi asks glancing between me and Chris. I nod my head.

"I'm making breakfast, don't even think about leaving until you eat first" Madi shoots me a look. Cooking for people is obviously a love language of hers. "I really should go" I say. "Nope, tell your boyfriend I'm holding you hostage" she says playfully.

My boyfriend. I let out a deep breath knowing I should see if he texted. I felt kind of guilty for leaving his house while he was sleeping. And just as I started thinking about the guilt I feel Chris's hand wraps around my waist.

He's behind me on the couch, laying down. And I'm still right next to him sitting down. I look back at him and his eyes are shut, like he's half awake, half asleep. He opens his eyes, feeling me stare at him. "What time is it?" he asks.

After Chris was finally awake and Madi finishing up cooking I watch as Matt walks into the kitchen. After a couple minutes Madi brings me and Chris each a plate of food. Matt followed behind her, they both sit on the couch across from me and Chris.

As we all eat together Matt starts up a conversation that I didn't expect to have. "So you and your boyfriend, how long you two been together?" Matt asks while picking at his food with the fork he's holding.

I see Madi try to subtly nudge Matt with her foot. I look down at my food, my body tenses subconsciously. "A year" I respond. "Oh shit really?" Matt asks.

I nod my head. "He knows your here?" Matt asks. "He knows I'm with friends" I spoke. I look over at Chris who has his eyes locked on Matt. "Maybe you should invite him over sometime, we can all chill. Or go on a double date" Matt suggests. And at this point I can't tell if he's trying to stir the pot or not.

"Matt, will you help me clean up the kitchen?" Madi blurts out clearly trying to stop the conversation from going any further. As Madi and Matt go into the kitchen to clean up I look over at Chris.

Chris's energy is unreadable as he stares at the wall in front of him. "You okay?" I ask. He looks over at me as if my words brought him out of some type of dissociation. "Yeah. Are you?" he asks. I nod my head.

"I should probably go" I say. And as soon as I say that Chris's facial expression almost look saddened. "Okay yeah, I gotta do some stuff today. I'll see you around" he says before walking towards his room.

I couldn't pick up on his energy, it was like he wasn't there fully.

I say my goodbyes to Matt and Madi before calling an uber to be picked up.

6 days later

It's been almost a week since I talked to Chris. He's been dead silent, which makes me wonder if I did something wrong. But I currently had no time to overthink it. Not with me being around Jackson so much.

Jackson has made it clear to never leave him while he's sleeping again. I understood that, I understood I was in the wrong. He yelled at me with aggression, wanting me to apologize over and over.

And that's exactly what I did. I apologized as many times as he needed me to. I deserved to be yelled at and validate Jacksons feelings. He was my boyfriend, and I cared about him, his feelings were valid.

As of now I sit in my bedroom contemplating whether I should text Chris or not. Ask if he's okay or if I did something wrong. This is a friendship that felt genuine, and I didn't want to lose it.

I end up going into Katie's room at an attempt to stop overthinking. Me and her are hanging out in her room catching each other up. She tells me about a party she went to, and about the man she's been seeing.

Hanging out with Katie always made me feel better. Even if I was in the worst mood possible she could make me smile. It always amazed me how good her people skills were.

Later that night I went to my room and sat in silence, trying to relax. Jackson had called and told me to come over. It was late and I knew what he wanted. As much as I didn't want to go, I did anyways.

I got into his bed to lay down and he automatically gripped onto my body, in a way that made my stomach turn. "You always look so good, it turns me on" he said. I didn't respond because this is his usual use of words when he wants something.

Nothing Jackson did surprised me anymore. As he continued to grip onto my thighs I tried to suppress the emotions of disappointment I felt. Disappointed in myself for letting this continue to happen.

Only when he was done with me, he pretended to care about how i've been doing. "So who are your new friends?" he asked. "Just some people I met" I responded vaguely. He didn't ask any more questions. He scrolled on his phone while I layed there naked and cold.

The next day.

from chris: hey. you wanna hang?

I reply quickly, agreeing to hangout with him. I wanted ask him in person if he was okay, I wanted his company. He said he would pick me up in about 20 minutes.

An hour goes by and he hadn't shown up yet. I texted him once asking if he was on his way and got no response. Another hour goes by and I gave up on waiting for him.

I started to get ready for bed, trying not to think about why he didn't show up. Why did he feel the need to avoid me? What did I do wrong?

And just as I was about to hop in bed to go to sleep my phone dings.

from chris: I'm sorry. can I come get u still?

He can't be serious right now. Almost 3 hours later he decided to text back.

He picks me up and were both more quiet then usual on the car ride to his house.

Once we get inside we head to his room. I look at him in his eyes for the first time tonight and they're glossed over, tinted red and a little puffy. He looked like had been crying, or high, or maybe both. And by the smell of weed in his room I can tell he's been smoking.

"Are you okay?" I ask while sitting on his bed. He sits on his chair by his desk. "Yeah" he says giving a smile that doesn't match the current sullen energy he has.

"Are you sure your good" I ask. He nods his head. "Why are so quiet right now? It's kinda freaking me out" I voiced. He didn't answer the question. Instead, he asked if I wanted some food. I said yes and he ordered food from door dash.

The first hour of being at his house felt different compared to the other times I've been here. But after the first hour things got better.

Chris sat across from me on his bed as we finished eating the food he ordered. "You know I thought I did something wrong that made you mad at me or something" I admitted. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You just didn't text me for awhile after the last time I was here. Thought I did something that made you want to avoid me" I confessed. He shakes his head. "You didn't" he responded, short and simple.

"You just make me think a lot" he said. "What's that mean?" I asked confused. He shrugs his shoulders. "Anyways what have you been up to?" he asked, changing the subject. "Um nothing really. Just been with Jackson and stuff" I said truthfully.

"Yeah? And how's that been?" He questioned. "I mean it's been okay" I lied. It hasn't been okay. Lying was never my strong suit, and by the way Chris is looking at me it seems like he can tell.

"That sounded real convincing" he chuckles. I shake my head and laugh.

The night goes on and I'm now laying down on his bed. He's laying down next to me, as we face eachother while talking. We're both reminiscing about our childhoods and go back and forth between telling eachother stories.

"You should of seen Nick's reaction" Chris smiled. "Matt putting a frog next to Nick while he was sleeping is top ten funniest memories" he continued. "When he woke Nick up, Nick saw the frog and screamed so loud our parents came running into our room".

I laugh, "thats so fucked up". Over time the topics change. From childhood stories, to past high school drama, we listened to eachother closely. And whenever the topic of past lovers and relationships came the energy shifted.

I had told him Jackson was my first boyfriend. I had never been with anyone else.

"I only dated one girl and it was a year and a half ago. We were together for 9 months" he said. "Why did you guys break up?" I asked. His body tensed up and I could tell he was deep in thought. "She cheated on me with someone I considered to be my bestfriend" he said.

My heart sunk into my body. "Oh" I said quietly. "It's okay it was a long time ago" he said shrugging. I didn't know how to respond so I just grabbed his hand and squeezed it. The topic changed again.

We talked about our families and our dreams for our future. We talked about our favorite things, the things we hated the most and everything else in between. And as we talked I had lost track of time.

Chris had gone silent for a minute. "You okay?" I asked. "Mhm" he hummed. As me and Chris face eachother laying down on his bed together talking, I feel content. And when we both go silent with our eyes locked on eachother I feel a type of feeling that I can't quite register.

I can't help but feel like our energies together are all the sudden electromagnetic. And within a couple seconds of the atmosphere feeling heavy Chris brings his hand up to my jaw, gently caressing it as if it was the most fragile part of my body.

My heart fastens at his actions just a little bit because something about this feels so intimate. And when he moves a strand of my hair behind my ear my stomach feels like it's doing flips.

At this point I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't hear the bedroom door open. "Chris" I heard come from the other side of the bedroom. Chris quickly removes his hand from my jaw as if he had just been caught doing something illegal. Madi was standing at the door looking at the two of us.

She gave me a polite smile and I returned it. "Matt wanted to talk to you for a second" Madi said to Chris. Chris sat up from laying down on the bed and walked off to Matt's room.

Madi jumps on Chris's bed next to me. "I lied he didn't want to talk to Chris I just wanted to see you" Madi said laughing. "Oh my god" I said laughing.

"So you and Chris, getting closer yeah?" She said. I nod my head, feeling a little unsettle. Me and Chris weren't doing anything but for some reason I felt guilty. "Good. I think its good for the both of you" She said smiling. "He can be a really good friend" she continued. "You spending the night?" Madi asked with a curious expression on her face. "Yeah maybe" I replied.

"I think you should. I can cook us all breakfast in the morning" she said. "Ill text you if I end up staying the night" I told her.

Chris comes back into the room, "Matt's asleep" he said. "I know I just wanted to steal y/n from you for a second" she said laughing before getting up off the bed. Chris rolls his eyes sarcastically, giving her a "are you serious right now?" type of look.

Madi laughed before leaving the room. Chris comes back onto the bed and sits next to me. "Did you wanna stay the night?" he asks. "Do you want me to?" I ask. "Well do you want to?" he responded. "Yeah but I dont want to invade your space or overstay ya know" I spoke.

"Your not, I want you to stay" he said. "You sure?" I asked. Chris didnt respond right away. Instead he grabbed onto my body and pulled me into him. "Stay" he said softly.

With my legs wrapped around his, and his arms wrapped around me I felt safe. I felt comfortable, I felt okay, which isn't a very common feeling for me recently.

I didn't want to move, so I didn't. Instead Chris and I held onto eachother. And as my body and mind get tired I feel the inevitable sleep come.

And I tried to fight it, as if I didn't want to go to sleep. As if I wanted to spend as much time as I could awake. Just to talk to Chris some more, to hear him talk some more. To hear him breath or laugh some more. But my body's natural instincts took over, and I fell asleep on his chest once again.

taglist:

@overlygoin @riggysworld

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 pt 2 part 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6 pt 7 pt 8 pt 9

pt 10

I sit on Jackson's bed feeling used. He fell asleep right after he got his way. I don't know why I keep falling for the same lies. I sometimes question why I let this relationship keep going. And the truth is I think it's because I'm attached to a version of him that doesn't exist anymore. But I would never admit it outloud.

As Jackson continues to snore next to me, I hear my phone ding.

from chris: you wanna hang?

Me and Chris have been hanging out a lot. For the past month we’ve been hanging out multiple times a week. I enjoyed his company. It was comforting to have finally found someone so genuine.

I look over at Jackson who's completely knocked out. I couldn't imagine what Jackson would do if he saw me texting another man. But at the same time, I couldn't stand seeing him look so peaceful after the feeling of being used.

I mean Chris is a friend. It's not like there would be anything necessarily wrong with hanging out with a friend.

I end up texting Chris to come pick me up from Jackson's house. After getting myself put together I patiently wait in the living room for Chris to get here.

I watch as Chris pulls into the driveway.

"Is this Jacksons house?" he asks curiously while backing out the driveway. I let out a deep breath nodding my head. "You okay?" Chris asks, noticing my energy. "I don't know" I respond truthfully.

"What's wrong?". I look out the window, not really wanting to get into why I feel the way I feel. "You want to get food?" he asks. "Sure".

We head to a drive through and pick up some food before parking in a parking lot. "What's got you so quiet?" Chris questions. I shrug my shoulders. "I just- sometimes I don't know what I'm doing" I voiced. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, sometimes I just feel used by the people I care about the most. It kind of hurts" I admit. "And by people you mean Jackson" Chris assumes, correctly. I stay silent.

After some random chit chat goes by Chris invites me over to his house. And without hesitation I accept his offer. Once we arrive to his house we go to his room. "Are Madi and Matt home?" I ask sitting on his desk chair. "No they went out on a date" he says, sitting down on his bed. I'm unintentionally reminded that Jackson hasn't taken me on a date for months.

"Your boyfriend okay with you hanging out with me?" Chris asks. I shake my head no. "What does that mean?" he asks. "He doesn't necessarily even know I left" I respond. Chris looks at me with confusion plastered on his face, waiting for me to explain.

"He was asleep when you picked me up" I admit truthfully. "And when he wakes up to see you not next to him what's gonna happen?" he asks as if he already knows the answer. I shrug my shoulders, staying silent not wanting to think about it.

"So what about you then, do you have a girlfriend or anything?" I ask as an attempt to change the subject. "No I don't really do relationships" he says. "Oh your one of them guys" I say half way joking. "What's that supposed to mean?". I shake my head and laugh.

"It's not that I don't do relationships, I'm just not interested in anyone enough right now to do the whole boyfriend thing" he confessed. "I mean I guess that makes sense" I respond.

"How long have you and Jackson been together?" he asks looking down at the floor. "And you want to know this why?" I laughed. "Just curious" he says shrugging, looking back up at me. "We been together for a year" I replied. He nods his head.

A brief moment of silence passes. "Come here" Chris said. You look at him confused by his words. "Just come here really quick, I'm not gonna bite" he said patting a space next to him on the bed. You stand up and walk over to his bed, and you sit next to him.

You lock eyes with each other, feeling like the air in the room has somehow become limited. Chris's hands reach up by your neck, you look down. He's fixing your necklace, untangling it and making it face the right direction. You look back up at him as he stays focused on fixing the necklace.

He finished fixing the necklace and looks back into your eyes, "all better" he says giving a friendly smile. Your body feels warm, too warm for your liking. What the fuck just happened? "Thank you" you say, sounding more like a question. Eyes still locked on one another.

And before you could say anything else, your phone starts to ring. A pit in your stomach forms as you read Jacksons name on the caller ID. Chris stands up and quickly moves to sit on his desk chair.

"Hello" you say into the phone. "Where the fuck are you?" he asks harshly. "With my friend" you respond breath shaky. "You ditched me to go be with your friend?" he snapped. You don't know what to say, so you just stay silent.

"I'm coming to pick you up" he says. You look at Chris who is studying your energy. "No don't. I want to stay at my friends" you respond. "Are you serious right now?" Jackson says in disbelief, as if you just said something completely fucked up. "Whatever y/n. Thanks for being a complete bitch" Jackson says before hanging up.

Your breath remains shaky as you put your phone down and stare at the floor. "What did he say?" Chris asks, noticing your energy. You shake your head, unable to say anything, afraid you might choke on your words.

Tears are forming in your eyes and your body feels weak. "Im sorry I just- I cant even" and before you get the rest of the words out Chris stands up, picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. "Chris what the fuck!" you scream out.

He carries you over his shoulder and out to the living room before sitting you down on the couch. "Stay here" he says before disappearing into the kitchen. What the fuck is he doing?

He comes walking back into the living room with a bunch of different snacks and a big cozy looking blanket. He plops down to me on the couch, setting the snacks down on a table in front of us.

"What are you doing?" I ask. "We're gonna have a movie marathon" he says cheerfully. "Jackson's missing out, him being a bitch just equals me getting to spend more time with you" he says before handing me mini donuts. "If he doesn't want to treat you right, I as your friend, will" Chris says shrugging.

"Oh so were like officially friends now?" I ask jokingly. "Oh so your saying we haven't been friends this whole time?" he asks.

"Your telling me that saving your life at a party isn't friend worthy?” he continued. "You didn't save my life you just made sure I made it to the bathroom instead of throwing up on anyone" I say laughing. "Yeah and got you taco bell, and let you steal my bed which practically is the same thing as saving your life".

I roll my eyes sarcastically "okay fine, you win". "Mhm. Now what movies should we watch?" he asks. You agree to watch whatever movies he wanted to put on. And as he decided to put on the hunger games movie he put the cozy blanket over the two of you. There was some distance between the two of you but not for long.

Chris grabs your body, forcing you to be right next to him. You look at him like he’s fucking insane. "Really? You can fall asleep and drool on my chest while stealing my bed but you cant sit next to me while watching a movie?" He asks.

He's right, even though I didn't know I had fell asleep and drooled on his chest that night of the party, it didn't matter. He was my friend and there was nothing to worry about.

As the movie played my eyes grew heavier and heavier by the second. All I knew is that I was so comfortable and tired, fighting for my life to stay awake.

With the tiredness taking over my body I lean in on Chris's shoulder, feeling like I'm in a state of peace. I felt so at peace that all the worries I had before drifted away, and at that point I hadn't been able to remember why I was worried in the first place.

Chris's POV:

I saw the tears forming in her eyes after she got off the phone with Jackson. It made me so unbelievably upset that he had so much power over her. That he treated her like shit, making her upset and anxious all the time.

It made me so upset that before even a single tear could drop from her eyes I had picked her up and placed her in the living room. I wanted to do anything I could to distract her from that piece of shit. I so badly wanted her to feel good, happy.

I distracted her with snacks and movies, trying my best to not let her get a single thought in about that fuck ass dude who she calls her "boyfriend". I wanted to try my best to be respectful of physical boundaries.

And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. I wanted to hold her, be there for her. I wanted to kiss her and tell her everything was gonna be okay, but I couldn't that wasn't my role. It was supposed to be Jacksons, but he was majorly failing at it.

I know me and her are friends. Kissing isn't a friends type of thing. But I wanted to so bad as much as I tried convincing myself that I didn't. I wanted her to feel good, in multiple ways. But I refuse to fuck this friendship up with her.

For the past month we’ve been hanging out. She was someone who I felt a genuine bond with. And as much as we’ve been hanging out I still felt the need to get to know her even more.

I knew she was pretty, I knew she was attractive. But it's deeper than that. I needed to get to know her better because she intrigued me, and girls don't really have that effect on me.

I wouldn't say I have feelings for her. Because that's not what it really is. It's just attraction and curiosity right now, but I'm scared it'll turn into something else. And as she falls asleep on me while watching the movie I can't help but stare.

Maybe she's bad news. I mean she's in a relationship with someone, but sleeping on me. Or maybe I'm the bad news. I'm the one who grabbed her and pulled her closer to me, telling her that it was okay.

She couldn't hurt a fly even if her life depended on it. I knew that I was pushing boundaries. I knew that if Jackson saw her sleeping on my lap he would try to kill us both. But for some reason I couldn't get myself to care as much as I should.

As she continues to sleep, I can't help but question myself. Feeling emotions was never my thing. It's not that I don't feel, I would just feel so deeply all the time. I eventually just forced myself into feeling numb. Or what some might call "emotionally unavailable". But being around y/n makes me feel. And I kind of hate it for reasons that aren't valid.

But she's my friend, so I'll continue to feel & care. I just get really weird about getting close to people. I built walls around my heart a long time ago. I don't let myself get attached to people. I tend to run away when things get hard. I'm a very flawed person who has so much to work on still.

I start feeling exhausted with how much thinking I'm doing. I look down at y/n sleeping. What a beautiful sight I think to myself.

My eyes get heavy and I want to fight off my sleep just to be able to see her look so peaceful. But my body gets the best of me, and I fall asleep right with her.

Madi's POV:

Matt and I come home a little later than expected. And when we arrive at the house we were met with a surprise.

We walk into the house like normal but we stop in our tracks when we see y/n and Chris cuddling each other on the couch, both passed out. I look over at Matt who's already looking at me with a confused expression on his face.

"What the fuck?" I whisper laughing. Matt and I both look at y/n and Chris and then back at eachother. "Should we wake them up?" Matt asks. "No bro look at them, they look so peaceful" I respond.

"Im so confused right now doesn't she have a boyfriend?" Matt asks. "Technically yeah, but Jackson shouldn't even get the privilege of having that title" I said. "So do we just let them be?" Matt asks. I nod my head and we quietly head to Matt's room.

When we get to the room we get ready for bed. "I dont know if them being like that is a good thing" Matt expresses. "What do you mean why?" I question. "Chris, he's just a complicated person. Getting involved with him isnt the best idea" Matt spoke.

"I dont think we should worry about it right now. Their just friends, them being all cuddled up right now has nothing to do with us" I tell Matt, hoping that he wouldn't worry about it.

"I know Madi, I just worry about him sometimes" Matt voiced. "Just come lay down" I respond, not having enough energy to go back and forth with him right now.

And as me and Matt lay down ready to go to sleep, I can't help but smile. I never seen Chris interact with a girl like that. I mean I seen him around girls, but never doing that type of lovey dovey shit.

I knew Jackson was a piece of shit. I knew he would freak out if he had just seen what me and Matt saw. Them holding each other, cuddling while sleeping. But I didn't care, I thought it was sweet.

I don't think we need to read too far into it. Chris and y/n are friends, creating a bond. And that made me happy for her. Because I knew Chris could be a really good friend. As long as she's okay then I'm okay.

And to be honest, she looked more than okay sleeping in Chris's arms.

taglist

@overlygoin @riggysworld

[magicaldice]

shoutout to all the support I’ve been getting. your all sexyyyy I love you guysss!!! <3

[magicaldice]

Synopsis: Y/n goes to a party with her bestfriend without telling her toxic boyfriend. She unexpectedly meets Chris sturniolo & things start to unravel overtime.

⚠︎ : read at your own leisure.

any feedback, likes, comments or shares, are appreciated!

pt 1 part 2 pt 3 pt 4 pt 5 pt 6 pt 7 pt 8 pt 9

pt 10

Once I arrive at my house I immediately go to Katie's room for answers. You haven't answered Jackson yet, you don't want to face him without talking to Katie first.

"Girl I'm so sorry, I couldn't find you anywhere. I tried asking people if they had seen you and nobody could tell me where to find you" Katie said. "I had tried calling you over and over. I didn't leave the party until I knew that you were okay" she says. "What do you mean? Did you end up finding me?" I ask.

"After about an hour of me searching for you, you called me. You were laughing saying you were going to your friend's house. That you were okay and not to worry about you" she continued. "I had just assumed you went home with Lucy" she explained.

After talking more about last night with Katie and explaining how I ended up staying at Chris's house I went into my room. It was time to face Jackson and I don't know if I could keep it together. I mean I feel betrayed in a way, that I tried to call him and he just didn't give a fuck.

If the roles were reversed I would of came and got him. It hurt in a way that I couldn't explain. At the same time I feel a lot of guilt. I went to a party without telling him beforehand. I didn't know how to tell him I blacked out. Or the fact that I spent the night at a stranger's house. I shouldn't have been so dumb. What was I thinking?

I decided to call him, get this over with. The call was what you expected. Him lecturing you, telling you how bad you fucked up. After 15 minutes of listening to him scold you, he says he's going to pick you up.

My anxiety was at peak as I waited for him to pick me up. When he arrived, I so badly just wanted to disappear. I got into his car, and the silence was suffocating. But it only lasted so long. He drove around, calling me names and telling me how bad of girlfriend I was.

"Don't you understand y/n? You're a fucked up person. I don't understand what I did for you to treat me like this" he said. "I know I'm sorry. I just-" his driving became more reckless. "I'm sorry" I repeated. "No you're not. How could you be so fucking selfish?" He yells. "Theres a fucking video posted on social media of you all drunk dancing on a table like some fucking cheap slut " he said harshly.

Tears stream down my face, feeling so worthless and small. Jackson parks in a parking lot. "Listen. You don't get to just go out with your bad influence friend and expect me to not freak out, especially when you didn't even ask me first" he says in a more calm voice.

He grabs onto my thigh and squeezes as I stare out the window, fighting back tears. A pit forms in my stomach. "Babe, I'm sorry for yelling and stuff I just, I just care about you and want to make sure your safe" he expressed while rubbing my thigh up and down.

"I know, I understand. I guess I just wasn't thinking" I respond wiping tears from my eyes. His hand rubbing up and down my thigh makes me feel unbelievably sick to my stomach. "I was worried about you, ya know. I just want to protect you" he says gripping onto your thigh.

I nod my head, hoping that this conversation would end already. Jackson pulls a piece of hair behind my ear. "You know I love you right?" He speaks. I nod my head acknowledging his words. "Say it back" he demanded. "I love you too" I quickly said.

After Jackson and I had talked he drove us to his house. He said he wanted to hangout and spend time with me. I should have known what he meant. As soon as we got to his house, he was already being a little extra touchy. We had sex and then as soon as we got done he said he needed to go to sleep because he had work early in the morning. So he drove me back home and kissed me goodbye.

It made me disgusted with myself. He was right, I let him down and I felt terrible about it. Jackson didn't deserve to be treated like that. I mean he was my boyfriend, his feelings matter too.

later that night

from unknown number: how did things go?

to unknown number : is this chris?

from unknown number: yes maame

to chris: im gonna call you real quick

Ring. Ring. Ring. "Hello stranger" Chris says into the phone. "Can you please tell me everything that happened from start to finish" I say. "That would take forever" he responds. "Please. I need to know" I say clearly stressed about this. "You wanna smoke?" he asks. "What?"

"You seem like you need to smoke. I can come over and we could smoke, and while we smoke I'll tell you all about last night, yeah?" He spoke. "Fine. I'll send you the address" I said before hanging up.

20 minutes later Chris is at my door. I let him inside and we sit down in the living room. "You live alone?" he asks. I shake my head no. "My friend lives with me, she's at a friend's house right now".

He pulls out a blunt and lights it. "Okay so you can you just give me a run down of what happened" I said hoping he would be as detailed as possible. I watch as he inhales the thick smoke. "Well, we were dancing together. You looked like you were getting sick so I took you to the bathroom. I offered to stay outside the bathroom so no one would walk in" he said as he hands me the blunt.

I hit the blunt and listen while he talks. "But you told me to not to leave you alone, so I went into the bathroom with you". I cringe at the fact that he saw me sick. "After you stopped throwing up you sat on the floor for a minute, I didn't really know what to do so I just sat with you until you were ready to get up" he says. I pass the blunt back to him.

The weed makes me feel more calm. "After you got up off the floor bathroom you kept hugging me and saying that me and you should ditch the party" he continued. I start blushing from embarrassment. He hits the blunt, letting the smoke fill his lungs. "I told you we could go outside for some fresh air but you could barely walk".

He passes the blunt back to me. "You kept saying to take you to taco bell, so I helped you walk outside and get to my car. We went to the taco bell drive thru and I parked so we could eat". I shake my head feeling self-conscious about my actions.

"We ate and I told you I'd take you home so you could sleep it off. You said you didn't want to go home and that's when someone called you. You were telling whoever it was on the phone that you were okay and that you were going to stay the night at a friend's house".

"A few seconds later you tried to call your boyfriend. He answered but he refused to come get you. So you hung up the phone and said you wanted to stay the night with me"

I inhale the smoke from the blunt, letting it calm my nerves. "I was driving us back to my place when you grabbed my phone. I was confused but you pulled up the camera and started taking selfies. So I have a bunch of random selfies of you in my phone right now" he chuckled.

I pass the blunt back to him and then put my hand over my face. He pulls out his phone and starts to show me the ridiculous amount of pictures I took of myself. "Oh my fucking god" I spoke.

"After you were done spamming pictures of yourself you took your shoes off" he said right before hitting the blunt. "You kept saying how "free" and happy you felt. At that point we arrived at my house. I carried you inside and sat you on my bed. I told you that I was gonna sleep on the couch and you got mad"

"What do you mean I got mad?" I asked. He hands me the blunt and I take a hit. "You wanted me to sleep in there with you, you wouldn't let me leave the room. So I ended up laying next to you until you fell asleep" he expressed. "I waited for you to fall asleep so I could go sleep on the couch" he admitted.

"Im- sorry I don't even know what to say" I voiced. "You drooled on me" he blurted out. "What do you mean I drooled on you?" I asked confused. "You fell asleep on my chest and ended up drooling on me" he said. My cheeks turn pink once again. I fell asleep on his chest ."I didn't mind though" he said shrugging.

I passed the the rest of what's left of the blunt to him. "But yeah, that's pretty much everything that happened" he said. "How did things go with your boyfriend?" he questioned. I shake my head. "It went exactly how I expected to go".

"Which is how?" He questions again. "He just kinda yelled and stuff. Just the usual shit" I said truthfully remembering how the interaction was. "He sounds like a bitch" Chris said nonchalantly. I look at him, our eyes lock. And as much as I try to read his energy I can't. And it bothers me that I cant read his energy.

Eyes still locked on one another, he gives a short smile and shrugs. "What I was just saying. He doesn't sound like a very good boyfriend" Chris spoke. My heart starts to thump a little too fast at his words. "Anyways I should get back home, its getting late" he said.

"Yeah- yeah um- okay. Well thanks for coming over and telling me what happened. And smoking with me" I say. "Mhm" he says standing up and grabbing his phone off the couch. "You ever wanna runaway with a stranger again you know who to call" he says before walking towards the door. "Mhm I'll keep that in mind" I respond sarcastically.

After he leaves my brain gets to thinking. Is it weird that I feel his presence comforting? The only thing that bothers me is that I can never read his energy.

A week later

Madi and I have been texting, she wants me to come over and hangout tonight. Chris and her boyfriend Matt are going to visit their brother Nick at the college he stays at. So while they do that Madi wants to me to come over and hangout.

I arrive at Madi’s at around 8 pm. I knock on the door and a few short seconds later she lets me inside.

Madi and I smoke a blunt and bake some cookies. I’m very hopeful for this friendship, it seems so genuine and sweet I think to myself.

“How long have you and Matt been together?” I ask out of curiosity. “For 2 years” she replied. “What about you and Jackson?” She asks. “For a year”. Madi hands me a plate with some of the cookies we baked on it. “So has he always been an asshole?” She asked half way joking.

“A lot has changed since we first got together. When we first met he was super nice and charming. Super sweet and always making me feel special. But now it’s like he’s almost emotionally unavailable. I don’t know if that’s the right way to put it, I just feel like we have gotten so distant”.

“Do you guys go on dates at all?” Madi questions. “Um- no not really- the last time we went on a date was like 3 or 4 months ago”. Madi’s jaw drops. “Girl what the hell? How are you tolerating that?” She says as if she’s actually concerned and confused. “I mean it’s not the end of the world, right?” I spoke.

After me and Madi continued to talk for about 2 hours, getting to know eachother better, we sat in the living room to watch a movie. Shortly after the movie was put on, I had fallen asleep.

Chris’s POV

After me and Matt visit our brother Nick we head back to the house. I'm tired and just want to go to sleep at this point. On the drive home I scroll through my phone and go back to the pictures y/n took on my phone.

That girl is something else. She kind of intrigued me in a way I couldn't properly articulate. I haven't talked to her for about a week, last time I saw her was when I went to her house to smoke. But I was okay with that considering were not really friends.

When we arrive to the house I wasn't expeceting to see Madi and her asleep on the couch. I look over at Matt who looks just as confused. "Did you know she was here?" Matt whispers quietly, trying to be quiet since Madi and y/n were asleep. I shake my head no.

Matt walks over to Madi and picks her up off the couch, carrying her to his bedroom. I stare at y/n for a moment, not exactly sure if I should wake her up or let her sleep. I walk over to her, "y/n" I whisper. No response. I put my hand on her shoulder and shake her gently. "Y/n" I say quietly. She groans in response.

"Did you need to go home? Or are you staying the night?" I ask. Her eyes barely open. "What time is it?" she asks in a strained, obviously tired voice. I look at my phone and check the time 1:23 a.m. "Its 1 am you can stay here if you want" I offer. "Fuck" she mutters.

"You okay?" I ask, watching her sit up on the couch. "Just tired. Didn't mean to fall asleep" she says. She grabs her phone, squinting as the bright light of her screen hits her face. "Fuck" she says again. "What? What happened?" I ask curiously. "Jackson. He texted me almost 2 hours ago asking where I was" she said.

Y/N POV:

Seeing Jackson's message put anxiety in my body. He's gonna be mad I didn't answer. "Did you tell him you were hanging with Madi?" Chris asks. "No. I tried calling him before coming over to let him know but he didn't answer the phone".

Chris sits down on the couch next to me. A little closer than I was expecting but I didn't mind. "Can't you just tell him you were hanging out with Madi" he says. I nod my head, still so tired. "He's gonna find a reason to get mad" I say outloud. Chris doesn't respond, he just stares down at the floor. A moment of silence passes.

"I don't like him" he says. "You don't even know him" I quickly respond. "Don't need to know him to know that he doesn't treat you like he should" he responds. "You've known me for like a week and all the sudden you wanna tell me who I can and can't be with" I say getting defensive. "Never said you can't be with him, I was just pointing out an an observation" he responded quicker than I could process. Silence falls between the two of us. Too tired to enertain this conversation.

"Sorry, I should probably head back home" I say even though every part of me just wants to go back to sleep. Chris doesn't respond, he just nods his head. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath, trying to convince myself to get up off this cozy couch and leave. "Just stay here" Chris says.

I look over at Chris wanting so badly to listen to him and stay here. He looks back at me, looking just as tired as I am. I let out a deep breath once again. "Just stay" he says repeating himself, letting his hand fall onto my thigh. I look down at his hand on my thigh, staring at it. Chris looks down and realizes I'm staring at his hand on my thigh and he quickly removes it.

I get a weird feeling in my body. Before I can even get a chance to overthink the feeling Chris stands up and walks into the kitchen. "I think im gonna go home, but thank you for the offer" I say finally getting up off the couch, grabbing my phone. Chris opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle.

He walks back into the living room and nods his head. "Drive safe" he says before sitting back down on the couch. I put my shoes on and say goodbye before walking out the door.

Once I get home and into my bed my phone dings.

I check to see who texted

from chris: goodnight stranger

[magicaldice]

(the fate of patience)

Y/n & Lucy dancing on the table.

[magicaldice]

✪ Extra Content

This page is a digital gallery of photos or videos related to specific parts of my fan fiction. There also will be any extra content that I have posted such as edits on this page.

The The Fate Of Patience Series:

y/n & lucy dancing on the table (pt 1)

y/n & Chris on a walk for fresh air (pt 5)

picture Katie took of y/n (pt 7)