maninfestation

[maninfestation]

How Your Mental Health Can Become Your Greatest Weapon

We’ve all seen it by now, and are sick to the back teeth of the relentless swathes of ‘[Mental Health Struggle A] Awareness Day’ this, ‘[Mental Health Struggle B] Awareness Day’ that posts.

Raising awareness of something that truly flies under the radar is a noble undertaking, but we’re well beyond the point of having a collective cultural awareness of anxiety and depression by this point.

So what does it all achieve?

I read a post this morning that said “You can project confidence, but still have anxiety. You can look happy, but still be depressed. You can look healthy, but still feel like shit. You can be good-looking, but still feel ugly.”; And all I found myself thinking was, why does it sound so solemn?

Seriously, if you’re someone who suffers from depression, what good does having a constant reminder that you’re “mentally ill” do?

“De-stigmatising” mental health in the mainstream media seems to, in actuality, be little more than people attempting to weaponise our foibles (of which we all have) against us.

And it’s wrong.

As someone who has ADHD and is on the Autistic spectrum, I know all too well about what it’s like to feel incredibly depressed and debilitated - To wholeheartedly believe that there’s something wrong with myself and for things to become overwhelming.

Many moons ago, my depression and anxiety was so intense that the mere thought of leaving the house and going out in public would nearly induce a panic attack.

My self-confidence was at an all time low, my habits were extremely detrimental to my inner clarity, and my hormones were completely out of balance.

I had very few friends, and even fewer people in my life that actually respected me or could tolerate being in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes.

This cultivated a victim mentality.

The world was against me. Nothing I could ever do would ever be enough. I was resigned to a state of simply accepting a life of failure, and I had seemingly lost every last ounce of hope left.

Except I didn’t.

I eventually got so sick of feeling sorry for myself and blaming everything and everyone else around me for my inaction and inadequacies - And I made a choice.

I wasn’t going to allow my mental ailments to slow me down anymore. It was going to take time, grit, determination, blood, sweat and even a tear or two; But I was going to get better.

I started with fixing my diet and adhering to a rigid exercise routine - Healthy body, healthy mind, right?

I began to mend broken bridges with family and friends - Taking an interest in their lives, and offering my support and loyalty.

I got back into music, and started going to gigs and practising guitar and vocals like my life depended on it.

And I began to educate myself on the best industries to build a career in, and how to land myself a place there.

After all this time, my ADHD and autistic tendencies haven’t gone away.

It’s simply a fact that I, and other people on the spectrum, have to work twice as hard as other people - Sometimes for less reward.

But pitying yourself for that does not achieve anything.

It’s been a couple of years in the making, and there have been a fair few false starts along the way; But I’ve finally managed to leave home and the remote, rural village I was living in to move down to London and begin a new chapter.

I’m renting a small room, have no assets to my name just yet, and don’t own a yacht or a Bugatti.

But I’ve made a start. And the first step is ALWAYS the hardest.

I’ve got a job that I love, with great potential for growth and earnings, a social life that’s beginning to blossom, and enough time to indulge in my hobbies when all is said and done.

And one day, I’ll have multiple businesses up and running, a house big enough to be home to a music studio, all the vinyl in the world…..And maybe even a yacht!

It’s a question of effort.

It’s also important to note that I don’t always get it right - Far from it.

Bad habits from ‘the dark times’ still rear their ugly head more often than I’d like, but I’m much better at confronting them and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.

For example, ADHD used to make me feel like my thoughts were just running rampant and I was mentally exhausting myself trying to constantly catch up to them.

That’s not the right way to look at it.

My thoughts are different trains going to different destinations, and I’m at the station - Ready to decide which train(s) I’m boarding today.

I’m in no rush. The trains are a service there for me, and it’s not my job to keep running to catch them.

If you can relate to this in any way, understand that you are not alone. But when people tell you that “It’s okay to be struggling or hurting”, they miss out the most important part of the message:

“It’s okay to be struggling or hurting, BUT it’s ESSENTIAL to persevere and grow stronger”

Let’s make a quick change to that earlier post, shall we?

“You can have anxiety, but still project confidence. You can be depressed, but make an effort to make today slightly happier than yesterday. You can feel like shit, but still work to be healthier. You can feel ugly, but still take care of personal hygiene and appearance.”

Sometimes the small victories are the most important.

And that’s how your mental health can become the greatest tool and/or weapon in your arsenal.