masashi9

[masashi9]

Max and Nicholas sharing a kiss at their wedding.

[masashi9]

My OC😎 He is bisexual and hides it. But Anyway when I had finished making this new character, this illustration, I had felt something like wait, have I met him before?........ Then I have realized, I accidentally drew Mr.Elon musk when he was young......But This OC is not him of course.

[masashi9]

A guy hiding his bisexuality and an openly gay guy

Max sat on his bed, knees pulled to his chest. Nicholas had found out he was bisexual. That fact kept replaying in his mind, over and over.

"I don’t want to go to college anymore..."

The thought of skipping school flashed through his mind. But in the next moment, something inside him pushed back. Throwing his life away because of Nicholas—no way in hell.

If that guy went around running his mouth, then... Max would fight back. Yes—he had made up his mind.

—And the next day

He stepped nervously into the lecture hall. It was a class he shared with Nicholas, which meant there was a chance his sexuality had already been spread around.

But to his surprise, people acted no differently. Everything was the same as usual. Max let out a quiet sigh of relief.

But the relief didn’t last long. The source of Max’s anxiety—Nicholas—appeared in front of his seat, as if he’d been waiting for him.

“Ah...”

When Max looked up, Nicholas is smiling innocently, like a child who’d just spotted someone they liked. That expression made something simmer with irritation deep in Max’s chest.

Still, if Nicholas truly hadn’t told anyone, then reacting would only make things worse. Max swallowed his emotions and decided to ignore him as much as possible, not wanting to provoke anything.

But—

Nicholas leaned in without a care, bringing his face right up to Max’s. Then, with a mischievous whisper, he said:

"I'm not wearing any panties today."

…Max’s mind went completely blank. Frozen in place, he couldn’t say a single word back.

No, that kind of line only makes sense when it's said by a woman in a skirt. If Nicholas, who's wearing pants, says it—there's no point, right? That’s what Max thought, but he didn’t even feel like pointing it out. Instead, he just scowled.

Then, right in front of him, Nicholas stuck out his butt and started wiggling it playfully.

“Hey, cut it out!” Max reacted on instinct.

But Nicholas, completely ignoring him, kept humming, “Hm-hmm-hmm~♡”

And yet—before Max could even get angry, a thought bubbled up from the depths of his heart: (This butt… isn’t bad.)

He felt ashamed of himself for freezing like that. “Damn it!!!” Max shouted, unable to hold it in.

—Then, morning classes ended.

As soon as Max stepped into the hallway, Nicholas came running after him.

“Hey, pretty Max! What did you think of my butt today?”

“Hah!? Your ass is just dirty! Don’t ever show it to me again!”

Is Nicholas planning to spill his secret...? The possibility of Max’s worst fear coming true made his shoulders tense up… And then, Nicholas started to speak with a cheerful smile—

“Because pretty Max, you and I are both on the same team—

Before he could finish, Max threw down his bag and grabbed Nicholas by the collar.

"You. I warned you, didn’t I...?"

But then, the situation changed in an instant.

Just as Max is gripping Nicholas’s collar, unable to contain his anger, a deep, thunderous voice exploded through the hallway like a bomb dropping.

"Hey, Nicholas!! You don’t understand who is boss in this college, do ya!? Don’t go getting cocky with that attitude!"

The voice belonged to none other than Jacob—the ace of the school’s rugby team. With his massive frame shaking with rage, he charged straight toward Nicholas like a freight train.

The intense atmosphere silenced the entire hallway, Max included.

But Nicholas, unfazed, simply turned to Max with a cheerful smile.

“Pretty Max, excuse me for just a moment!”

Leaving those words behind, he stepped forward as if taking the stage, light on his feet like a performer.

Jacob’s fist came crashing down with a roar—but Nicholas dodged it effortlessly.

The very next moment—

“Hmph!”

With that grunt, his right straight punch connected squarely with Jacob’s jaw.

A heavy thud echoed as the rugby ace staggered back— and before anyone could react, a merciless knee strike landed hard into his gut.

“Guh...!”

Jacob let out a pained groan. Everyone around was struck speechless. The hallway fell into absolute silence.

Nicholas stood there calmly, brushing his disheveled bangs aside with a flick of his finger. Then, with a fierce glare, he shouted:

“Don’t mess with a magical girl!!”

Wait—magical girl? What the hell does he think he is!? Max couldn’t even begin to process what was happening.

“Don’t be jealous of my beauty!!”

At this point, Max was completely overwhelmed—by Nicholas’s ridiculous strength and even more ridiculous personality.

—In the end, Jacob was defeated and fled down the hallway, hunched over in shame.

“Whew~ Sorry, Max-chan. That rugby guy, Jacob, was getting all up in my face,” Nicholas said, grumbling like it was no big deal.

Having witnessed the whole fight, Max came to a sobering realization: There’s no way I could ever take on Nicholas... He decided then and there to never pick a fight with him.

From now on, even if Nicholas said something like “We’re on the same team,” Max would just play dumb and ignore it.

Just as that thought crossed his mind, Melissa came running toward them, clearly out of breath and in a panic.

“Hey, you two, listen! Something crazy might be about to happen in this town!” Her face was pale.

“Oh my, what’s wrong, little chick?” Nicholas asked, his expression turning serious as well.

“Last night... I heard that an LGBT-friendly café that just opened in town was attacked…”

“Attacked...!?”

“Well, the café itself wasn’t broken into or anything, but apparently someone fired several gunshots into the air right outside it… People who were there said it felt like a threat directed at the LGBT community...”

Nicholas and Max both turned pale.

“That’s why, Nicholas... you really need to be careful,” Melissa said. “That café ended up closing down because of it. And if there are any other LGBT-focused places around... it might be best to avoid them for now.”

“Got it, little chick... I’ll keep my activism low-key while I’m out in public,” Nicholas replied quietly.

—After that, news of the intimidation incident spread to the university faculty and even aired on the local television.

That afternoon, during class, Max couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened.

Coming out as LGBT in a conservative state really is dangerous, he thought.

And yet, at the same time, part of him couldn’t help but admire Nicholas for being so open and unapologetic.

(And on top of that… Nicholas actually shut up Jacob—the arrogant, hardcore LGBT-phobic rugby ace… That’s just… incredible.)

Deep down, Max found himself thinking that the way Nicholas lived was kind of... cool.

However, Max also thought that it wasn’t a way of life he could imitate. As a bisexual who can also love women, wouldn’t coming out just add unnecessary risk? That’s what he began to think.

—Then, after the afternoon classes ended, he checked his phone and saw over 50 notifications on social media.

With trembling hands, Max opened the notifications… Only to find a flood of vile comments and DMs.

“Hey Max! Congrats! Nicholas says he likes you, LOL.”

“You two should just start dating already! LOL”

“Did you hear? Nicholas wasn’t wearing underwear today! Lucky you! LOL”

And at the end of it all, there was a DM from Nicholas himself:

“Pretty Max, I got your social media account! Please follow me back!”

Max turned pale.

He bolted out of the university as if running for his life. He sprinted all the way home.

Behind him, Nicholas came chasing at full speed.

“Pretty Max!! It’s okay!! I didn’t say anything about you!!” Nicholas shouted desperately.

Hearing that, Max stopped in his tracks. He’d been avoiding a direct confrontation with Nicholas—but now, he was ready to let him have it.

“Nicholas!! Why do you always have to make things worse!? I’m not one of your LGBT buddies!!”

“I know…Pretty Max,” Nicholas said slowly.

Then he continued, “I grew up in a town full of conservatives, where people always rejected who I was. But… pretty Max, you still treat me kindly, so… that’s why…”

Max shut his eyes tightly. And then Nicholas, uncharacteristically shy, spoke in a quiet voice:

“I… I like you, Max…”

Max no longer had the energy to be angry.

But he had always planned to keep his bisexuality a secret for life. That’s why Nicholas’s affection felt like a burden.

“I get it—you like me. But please, from now on… don’t talk to me.”

“That’s really sad, Max…” Nicholas replied, and quietly began to cry.

“Ugh—fine!! You can talk to me, but quit getting carried away.”

The moment he said that, Nicholas’s face lit up like sunshine breaking through the clouds.

“Anyway, I just want to be alone right now. Our little chat is over for today. See ya!”

Nicholas didn’t follow him any further, but he continued sending DMs on social media, filled with “I love you, I love you” messages.

(Seriously, why does he never learn?) Max thought, exasperated.

Still, deep down, he had to admit—there was something undeniably charming about Nicholas. And maybe that’s what scared him most.

Because if he kept getting involved with Nicholas, he might accidentally reveal to others that he really was bisexual. The fear of that possibility clung to him like a shadow.

About ten minutes later, as he walked alone, a man suddenly called out to him.

“Hey there. I live around here too, and, well… I happened to overhear your conversation just now. You looked like you were having trouble with that gay guy—Nicholas, was it?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so. But... who are you?”

“I just moved to this town recently,” the man said. “I work at the city hall.

To be honest, I’ve had enough of those gay folks too. They’ve caused me a lot of trouble, and I’m sick of it. You and I should team up and drive that Nicholas guy out of here.”

He seemed… highly suspicious. And yet—

“How… would we do that?”

The words slipped out of Max’s mouth before he could stop them.

If there was a way to get rid of Nicholas, part of him genuinely wanted to take it.

After all, Max still clung to the dream of marrying a woman someday, of living life as a straight man.

He wanted to live without anyone seeing him as a minority—without the awkward politeness or the colored lenses people used to view “different” people. He just wanted to be seen as a man. A straight man.

The truth was… he was terrified and resentful of Nicholas, the one person who knew his secret. And that fear curdled into something darker.

Max could feel a shadow creeping into his heart—slow, and black, and cold.

But this man worked for the city hall, after all. Surely he was someone respectable. A man trusted by this town. Maybe he really could help.

That’s what Max wanted to believe.

(This is Episode2)

Thank you for reading this!!

Any comments are welcome—I’d be really happy to hear from you!

You can read the previous chapter from this link.

[masashi9]

Soooooooooooooooooooo Cute

[masashi9]

The story of Nicholas, an openly gay man, and Max, a closeted bisexual. It ends with a happy ending.

The gears of fate had begun to turn—silently, without a sound.

Under the scorching southern sun, a young man collapsed and was found unconscious. He was gay—and had been the target of a hateful act by anti-LGBT extremists. There was a sudden commotion. A flash of light. And then, silence. He was rushed to the hospital in critical condition.

The news of what had happened to him sent shockwaves through the LGBT community.

LGBT organizations declared, “We will not forget this incident.”

Meanwhile, a different kind of shock was unfolding elsewhere. It was a revolution—one that took place in a small town in next state. Langford University, located in that town, had changed its policies to become more friendly to LGBT. In a conservative town like that, it was nothing short of revolutionary.

Amidst this change, an openly gay young man transferred into the university. His name is Nicholas.

“Hi girl! I’m using next to your locker, okay?”

“I’m NOT a girl as you know.”

One student frowned in irritation. His name is Max. He was visibly taken aback by Nicholas’s flamboyant, gay-style greeting. But Nicholas, unfazed, stayed true to himself.

“Okay, then how about this—‘Hey Bitch! How’s doing today?’”

“What!? bitch!? Hey, you! Just because this school accepts LGBT people doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want! This whole town’s still full of conservatives!”With that, Max stormed off.

Still, the fact that Max always just walked away without outright denying Nicholas’s humanity was something Nicholas quietly appreciated.

Nicholas have only been at the university for three months, but fights were already common. Thankfully, he was strong enough not to end up seriously hurt. And thanks to the university’s LGBT-inclusive stance, things never escalated into full-blown bullying.

Even so, Nicholas have no friends. No one ever spoke to him with kindness.

Meanwhile, to Max, Nicholas seemed dangerous.

(What if he finds out I’m bisexual…?)

Yes—Max is bisexual. He haven’t come out to his parents. Of course, he hide it from everyone in town. He have no plans to come out, ever.

Fortunately for Max, he can genuinely be attracted to women too. His interest in men could be kept “inside” only. In fact, he currently have a crush on a girl named Melissa. He walked into the classroom where Melissa was and struck up a conversation.

“Melissa, listen. Nicholas said something weird to me again.”

“Oh? What did he say this time?” Melissa asked, smiling like she’d heard this all before.

“He called me a girl. (-_-;)”

Melissa giggled sweetly. “Then why not just become one?”

Oh Melissa no… well. Max had wanted empathy—but she didn’t really get it.

“Don’t you think anything of Nicholas being gay?” Max asked hesitantly.

Maybe—just maybe—she was more open-minded than he thought. Maybe she would even accept Max as bisexual…

“Hmm, I don’t think I could accept that,” she replied.

That fleeting hope was crushed in an instant.

“My whole family—relatives too—we’re all against homosexuality. And everyone lives in this town. I was raised with those beliefs.”

He hadn’t wanted to hear that. But at least he was male and she was female, so he figured being together wouldn’t be a problem. That was some comfort.

But She had politely turned down the chance to be Max’s girlfriend three times.

As Max started to sink deeper into his disappointment, a high-pitched voice rang out from the hallway.

“Curly-haaair~! I know you’re in there! I came to return something you dropped!”

There was no mistaking it—it was Nicholas.

“Dammit! I’m talking with Melissa right now!”

“Nope! C’mon! Come out here! I’m waiting in the hall!” Annoyed by Nicholas’s noise, Max reluctantly stepped into the hallway.

“Geez… What the hell do you want now…”

Max is grumbling when Nicholas, wearing an oddly serious expression, suddenly held out a magazine.

“Honey, This magazine fell out of your locker, pretty-Max. Thought I should return it.”

The magazine was…

A gay magazine.

One Max had nervously ordered online not long ago.

His heart raced, his breath caught in his throat, and his face turned pale as he screamed in panic.

“WhaaaaAAAT!? Why did it have to be you who found out!?”

Seeing Max so utterly distraught, Nicholas try to calm him down in a rush.

“C’mon now! I’m happy to find another one of us! It’s okay!”

“NOOOAAAAHHHHH!!”c Max bolted away at full speed.

“My college life is OVER!!!”

—Thirty minutes later.

Max, having exhausted himself from running and screaming, collapsed onto a bench.

Nicholas quietly sat down beside him. “Don’t come near me!!!” Max yelled.

But Nicholas begin to speak softly.

“I get it… why you want to keep your sexuality hidden. So I’m not saying you have to be open like me.”

“Then stay away from me…”

“But… isn’t it painful to keep hiding who you are?”

“……Nicholas… You idiot. Haven’t you heard about the gay kid who got attacked in Southeastern?”

At that, Nicholas fell silent for a moment. Then, he lifted his shirt.

“Hey!! What the hell are you—don’t strip!!”

“No, look!”

There were several gunshot scars.

Max was speechless. “The gay guy attacked in Southeastern… that was you?”

Nicholas nodded solemnly and continued. “I clashed with a radical anti-LGBT group. They beat me, and I had to flee here to here. I really wanted to go somewhere like California where LGBT people are freer, but I had no connections there. My grandmother lives near this university, so I figured I’d stay here while I study.”

Max didn’t know what to say. He have always thought being openly gay like Nicholas was reckless—that it made you a target.

“Why would you risk something so dangerous just to be open about being gay?”

Nicholas closed his eyes. “Yeah… I get it. But anti-LGBT people don’t usually attack us unless provoked. That time, they were shouting hate speech, and I—stupidly—couldn’t stay quiet. I shown f*ck finger to their leader… and they chased me down. I’ve had bad experiences, yeah… but being gay is part of who I am. I can’t pretend to be straight.”

“Nicholas… I’m sorry about what happened to you. But I’m taking my secret to the grave. I’m bisexual, and I don’t want you involved with me.”

Nicholas looked heartbroken.

He have no friends. No one even talked to him at school. Maybe that’s why—he look at Max with fierce determination in his eyes.

“Let’s meet somewhere off-campus, just the two of us. Besides… Pretty Max, you should feel stress by hiding your sexuality, right? When a gay guy and a bi guy meet, that mean we can become boyfriends, right?”

“What!? You’re talking about… fooling around with you!?”

“Yep. I’m a great kisser. At my last college, they called me the kiss monster.”

“That’s not something to be proud of!! God, you’re so—ugh!!” Max was practically vibrating with anxiety.

He stood up and pointed at Nicholas.

“Hey, You know what’ll happen if you tell anyone about my sexuality!?”

Nicholas just stared him.

Max turned and fled again.

-----------------------

To be continued.

[masashi9]

I tried painting in an oil painting style.

I'm not very good at drawing illustrations in an oil painting style—I'm always doing anime-style coloring. But from now on, I want to study and learn how to create illustrations in an oil painting style!

[masashi9]

Oops, did I just steal your heart?

[masashi9]

A woman with red hair, close to pink.

I think red-haired women are really lovely. For some reason, there seems to have been a negative image about red hair in the past (though I don’t really know much about other countries), but I personally think red hair is beautiful.

There are people with all kinds of hair colors overseas— blonde, red, brown, black... Those kinds of things are such wonderful traits of individuality.

By the way, I have black hair.

[masashi9]

How much I've improved my drawing skill since 5 years ago…

This was one, 5 years ago and the best I could do back then. The lines were shaky, and the colors felt kind of weird (lol).

And here is my current drawing:

I feel like I’ve grown over these five years.

I’ve been drawing something almost every day during 5 years. I’m glad to see that effort has paid off, even just a little. haha :)

There are many important things when it comes to improving, but I believe the most valuable is to meet a lot of beautiful paintings and to be impressed.

What you see and impressed, you can start to notice what your own artwork is lacking. Then, by visualizing your ideal image, you can experiment and try different approaches. I think this cycle—"impressed ⇒ identify what's missing in your work ⇒ visualize your ideal and draw"—is essential for growth.

If you don’t mind, I’d love to hear how you improve your illustrations too!

[masashi9]

mismatched duo-bad boy youth and a kindness office worker

bad boy youth and an kindness office worker—they’re a gay couple. In English, they might be called a “mismatched duo,” and personally, I really like that kind of pairing. It’s also easier to develop into a story. The character on the left is a kindness office worker, while the one on the right is a bad boy youth. At first glance, it looks like the bad boy is the one taking the lead, but in reality, it’s actually the office worker who leads the relationship. :)

[masashi9]

Shh! It's secret!

Is he cute? Or cool? Do men overseas even make this "Shhh!" gesture?

[masashi9]

“Who gets to decide our gender?”

I found myself thinking recently: “Who gets to decide our gender?”

Is it something decided by someone else? But more than that, I feel the strength of our own will often takes the lead. And by living true to those feelings, our sense of gender naturally starts to fit us better. That’s the kind of feeling I get.

I don’t follow any particular religion, but I do believe there’s something invisible that gently guides us—certain moments in life that feel meaningful. There’s something I once heard that has stayed with me ever since: “People go through many experiences in this world, and through them, they grow little by little. At the end of that journey, each person reaches their own kind of destination.” I hold on to those words dearly.

That’s why I think the things you're struggling with right now are part of the process—steps toward becoming more fully yourself. Let’s take those steps together.

That’s also why some of the characters I draw in my comics naturally step beyond the boundaries of gender. Born male, but with a woman’s heart. Or the reverse. Some characters don’t quite fit into either side.

Strangely, I’ve never questioned drawing characters like that. If anything, I find joy in it—it feels natural to me.

I enjoy creating characters with all kinds of perspectives and values.

As for me, I’m bisexual. I don’t know how others see me, but I’m simply me. And lately, I’ve finally started to fully accept that part of myself.

One thing I’ve come to realize as someone who’s bi is this: gender doesn’t really matter much when it comes to who you love. The gender someone was assigned at birth isn’t what’s important to me. FTM, MTF, gay, lesbian, straight—everyone has something lovable and unique about them.

That’s why, through my characters, I love exploring all kinds of gender expressions and ways of shining as who we are.

Gender isn’t a label someone else gets to assign to you. It’s something you get to choose in the way that feels most true to yourself. And there isn’t just one option. There are many.

So let me ask you: What does “your own true gender” look like to you?

Below, I'll share one of my original characters.

[masashi9]

The Alchemist and thick note book.

I'm thinking of rereading The Alchemist, which was popular some time ago.

It's probably a book meant for younger readers, but it's packed with life advice.

By the way, I bought the English edition.

And the book on the right is actually a notebook. It's a thick, lightweight paperback notebook.

I'm planning to use it as an idea book for my illustrations.

[masashi9]

Next story's new OC. & He is bisexual.

Hi.　His name hasn’t been decided yet. What name do you think would be good?

[masashi9]

I find it strange that I draw men and women different way. (LOL)

Since I'm bisexual, I like both men and women—but I honestly don’t know why my drawing style changes depending on the gender.

[masashi9]

maybe characters who are too happy can unintentionally hurt people.

I’ve finished writing the main love story, and now I’m working on an Extra edition about the couple after they’ve gotten together. But when I wrote a second Extra edition where they’re deeply in love, someone left a comment saying, “They’re so lovey-dovey it hurts to read.” Do you think I should stop writing more sweet Extra edition about them?

I know that love stories are usually more compelling with some hardship, but since the main plot was already resolved, I wanted to show them at their happiest in the Extra edition. Still, I wonder—maybe characters who are too happy can unintentionally hurt people. What do you think?

By the way, this illustration is from the final scene where they kiss at a nighttime observation deck.

[masashi9]

legs crossed.

Hey there! I really like poses where women have their legs crossed. Anyone else feel the same?

By the way, this girl is European—I think she lives in Hungary or somewhere around there.