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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment: 36 Characteristics

Posted by Admin on November 12, 2013

The intense emotional crisis of abandonment can create a trauma severe enough to leave an emotional imprint on individuals’ psychobiological functioning, affecting their future choices and responses to rejection, loss, or disconnection. Following an abandonment experience in childhood or adulthood, some people develop a sequela of post traumatic symptoms which share sufficient features with post traumatic stress disorder to be considered a subtype of this diagnostic category.

What are the symptoms of PTSD of Abandonment?

Intrusive anxiety

As with other types of post trauma, the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment range from mild to severe. PTSD of abandonment is a psychobiological condition in which earlier separation traumas interfere with current life. An earmark of this interference is intrusive anxiety which often manifests as a pervasive feeling of insecurity – a primary source of self sabotage in our primary relationships and in achieving long range goals. Another earmark is a tendency to compulsively reenact our abandonment scenarios through repetitive patterns, i.e., abandoholism – being attracted to the unavailable.

Diminished self-esteem

Another factor of abandonment post trauma is for victims to be plagued with diminished self esteem and heightened vulnerability within social contexts (including the workplace) which intensifies their need to buttress their flagging ego strength with defense mechanisms which can be automatically discharged and whose intention is to protect the narcissistically injured self from further rejection, criticism, or abandonment. These habituated defenses are often maladaptive to their purpose in that they can create emotional tension and jeopardize emotional connections.

Emotional Hijacking

Victims of abandonment trauma can have emotional flashbacks that flood us with feelings ranging from mild anxiety to intense panic in response to triggers that we may or may not be conscious of. Once our abandonment fear is triggered, it can lead to what Daniel Goleman calls emotional hijacking. During an emotional hijacking, the emotional brain has taken over, leaving its victims feeling a complete loss of control over their own lives, at least momentarily. If emotional hijacking occurs frequently enough, its chronic emotional excesses can lead to self-depreciation and isolation within relationships, as well as give rise to secondary conditions such as chronic depression, anxiety, obsessive thinking, negative narcissism, and addiction.

What is PTSD?

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a so called “disease” of the amygdala – the emotional center of the brain responsible for initiating the Fight Flee Freeze response. In PTSD, the amygdala is set on overdrive to keep us in a perpetual state of hyper-vigilance — action-ready to declare a state of emergency should it perceive any threat even vaguely reminiscent of the original trauma. The amygdala, acting as the brain’s warning system, is constantly working to protect (overprotect) us from any possibility of further injury. In the post trauma sequelae related specifically to abandonment, the amygdala scans the environment for potential threats to our attachments or to our sense of self worth.

People with PTSD of abandonment can have heightened emotional responses to abandonment triggers that are often considered insignificant by others. For instance, depending on circumstances, when we feel slighted, criticized, or excluded, it can instigate an emotional hijacking and interfere in, and even jeopardize our personal or professional life.

Below, I’ll identify some of the other issues related to post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment:

36 Characteristics of PTSD of Abandonment

This list is meant to be descriptive, rather than exhaustive of the many issues related to the abandonment syndrome.

An intense fear of abandonment that interferes in forming primary relationships in adulthood.

Intrusive insecurity that interferes in your social life and goal achievement.

Anxiety with authority figures.

Tendency toward self defeating behavior patterns that sabotage your love life, goals, or career.

A tendency to repeatedly subject yourself to people or experiences that lead to another loss, another rejection, and another trauma.

Intrusive reawakening of old losses; echoes of old feelings of vulnerability and fear which interfere in current experience.

Heightened memories of traumatic separations and other events.

Conversely, partial or complete memory blocks of childhood traumas.

Low self-esteem, low sense of entitlement, performance anxiety.

Feelings of emotional detachment, i.e. feeling numb to past losses.

Conversely, difficulty letting go of the painful feelings of old rejections and losses.

Difficulty letting go, even when we know the relationship cannot meet our basic needs

Episodes of self-neglectful or self destructive behavior.

Difficulty withstanding (and overreacting to) the customary emotional ups and downs of your adult relationships.

Difficulty working through the ordinary levels of conflict and disappointment within your adult relationships.

Extreme sensitivity to perceived rejections, exclusions or criticisms.

Emotional pendulum swing between fear of engulfment and fear of abandonment; you can alternate between ‘feeling the walls close in’ if someone gets too close and feeling insecure, love starved – on a precipice of abandonment – if you are not sure of the person’s love.

Difficulty feeling the affection and other physical comforts offered by a willing partner – “keeping them out” or “pushing them away; evidence of emotional anorexia or emotional bulimia.

Tendency to ‘get turned off’ and ‘lose the connection’ by involuntarily shutting down romantically and/or sexually on a willing partner.

Conversely, tendency to feel hopelessly hooked on a partner who is emotionally distancing.

Tendency to have emotional hangovers ‘the morning after’ you have had contact with an ex or someone over whom you have felt pain.

Difficulty naming your feelings or sorting through an emotional fog.

Abandophobism – a tendency to avoid close relationships altogether to avoid risk of abandonment.

Conversely, a tendency to rush into relationships and clamp on too quickly.

Difficulty letting go because you have attached with emotional epoxy, even when you know your partner is no longer able to fulfill your needs, or even when you know your partner is not good for you.

An excessive need for control, whether it’s about the need to control the other’s behavior and thoughts, or about being excessively self-controlled; a need to have everything perfect and done your way.

Conversely, a tendency to create chaos by avoiding responsibility, procrastinating, giving up control to others, and feeling out of control.

A heightened sense of responsibility to others, rescuing, attending to people’s needs, even when they have not voiced them.

Tendency to have unrealistic expectations and heightened reactivity toward others such that it creates conflict and burns bridges to your social connections.

People-pleasing – excessive need for acceptance or approval.

Self-judgment; unrealistic expectations toward yourself.

Fear response to people’s anger, which unwittingly sets you up to being “controlled” by them.

Co-dependency issues in which you give too much of yourself to others and feel you don’t get enough back.

Tendency to act impulsively without being able to put the brakes on, even when you are aware of the negative consequences.

Tendency toward unpredictable outbursts of anger.

Conversely, tendency to under-react to anger out of fear of breaking the connection and also out of your extreme aversion to ‘not being liked’.

The impact of abandonment trauma can be mitigated by abandonment recovery – a program of therapy techniques designed to help you overcome abandonment and its aftermath of self sabotaging patterns.

Please see additional articles that help you explore whether you are on the abandonment trauma spectrum, offer practical help, explain why some people are more prone to getting post traumatic stress disorder of abandonment than others, and the Five Phases of Abandonment and Recovery which provides hands-on help for people across the abandonment spectrum—those with post trauma and those without. The workbook is helpful in guiding you through the abandonment therapy techniques step by step, teaching you self help tools for each of the five phases specific to abandonment grief and trauma.

See also:

Are you on the abandonment spectrum? Do you have symptoms of PTSD of abandonment?

What is the Abandonment Syndrome?

How Is PTSD of Abandonment Different from Borderline? (BPD)

PTSD of Abandonment: Why some people are More Prone to Developing it than Others

The Five Stages of Abandonment and Recovery

Abandonment versus Borderline: 12 Tasks for Coping with Emotional Hijacking

Fear of Abandomnent: 10 Ways to Turn it Around

Abandonment Recovery: How it Overcomes Abandonment Trauma and its Aftermath of Self Sabotaging Patterns

Click here to return to Recent Articles.

Categories: Abandonment, PTSD | Tags: Abandonment, Break Up, Emotional Crisis, heartbreak, Insecurity, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, relationships, Trauma

98 comments

Penelope Glass says:

February 12, 2014 at 7:12 pm

I am 56 years old and my mother died when I was 7. I need therapy. I am not able to accept love from my partner. I can only be with him for 4 days and I feel closed in and need to be alone. I am divorced. I am going to make appointment for therapy. I am anxious constantly. I don’t know what normal is. I overreact and am very controlling. I am in relationship that I don’t want to sabotage. He understands my abandonment issues and says he is not going to abandon me. But for some reason I feel at my best when I am alone.

Admin says:

February 15, 2014 at 2:30 pm

I have sent you a personal response via e-mail, Penelope. -Lara

nick says:

April 21, 2014 at 1:27 am

I know I need help. I had physical abuse from my mother as young as 2 years old and was basically given to my Grandmother. I’m overly attached to my Grandma and I’m 35 years old. My romantic relationships seems to always follow the same bad pattern.

Admin says:

April 22, 2014 at 1:18 am

Please feel free to e-mail us at [email protected]. Happy to offer some personalized guidance via the privacy of an e-mail.

Ashlie Bowen says:

May 28, 2014 at 3:20 pm

I am 17 years old. I have episodic ataxia type 3, low blood sugar, vertigo, insomnia, anxiety, panic attacks and apparently ptsd. For fear of having my ataxia go off alone I have always made sure that I’m not alone. Now my “friends” and neighbors believe its getting out of hand and I have PTSD about being left alone and (one of them is going to school to be a psychologist and he is 40 and has done the same amount of schooling as me) they think that to help me get over the PTSD (well him specifically) they should let me wake up one morning and “practice” being alone all day telling me they will be there for me. Yeah well I am okay with being alone but not feeling alone. He has made sure I don’t go to anyone’s house, that no one I know talks to me or checks on me or anything. He says he’s doing this to force me into therapy but being on medical we all know you get shitty therapy and my therapist I’ve been seeing hasn’t called me back for two months. His niece that I RAISED and have been there for her since the day she was born (8yrs) I read to her fed her changed her help her with HW teach her life lessons take her to fun places and have spent thousands of dollars on because she has dead beat parents well now I’ve been told I cant see her until I get my anxiety under control which has sent me into the biggest depression of my life and I can’t stop worrying how she is doing what they’ve told her I just want her to know I’m not the one abandoning her they are forcing me away I just don’t know what to do I cant get out of bed I cant eat my head is hurting all the time I feel like everything has been ripped away from me and I have NO friends period so I have no one to talk to. I just feel like giving up I don’t see a point in living. She was, is my world and I can’t even see let alone talk to her and its killing me inside. Thanks for listening.

Amanda says:

September 14, 2014 at 7:13 am

I am a 40 year old woman who has yet again just destroyed another relationship. My father left when I was 2 years old and I tracked him down when I was 18 only to be rejected all over again as a young adult. I have constantly been attracted to “emotionaly unavailable” men who have treated me like dirt. I finally met a gentle loving soul – who seemed to love me for me and I treated him terribly. I kept pushing and testing him (i guess to see if his love really was unconditional) obviously everyone has their breaking point and it seems after 2 years he could take no more of my behaviours and did infact leave me. (which I expected all along) I am terrified of letting people see anything that could be viewed as weakness or vunerability in me so I hide the real me and instead put on an act I have perfected over the last 30+ years of a strong, confident woman who doesn’t really need anyone…… I am abrasive and mean at times in an effort to avoid forming relationships (even friendships) and come across as very prickly. I am tired, i am tired of acting, i’m so tired of trying to project the image of perfection, i’m tired of hurting people- i’m really just flat out tired. Out of the 30 symptoms I checked the box on 27 of them. I just need some advice on where I can go to get some help with this. I can’t allow myself to keep repeating this terribly, lonely cycle. I just want to be happy and I just want to be me – without the fear of rejection.

Admin says:

September 15, 2014 at 3:16 pm

Reach out via e-mail for a personalized response. [email protected] Thank you so much for sharing, by the way. It’s always welcome.

Jack says:

September 26, 2014 at 6:52 am

Oh wow, thanks so much for whoever wrote this. Everything on here is so true. I’m a veteran, and since I’ve been back, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and I was acting “weird” when I got back because it was difficult to adjust. My family and friends stopped talking to me when I acted weird, and i started drinking then begin using drugs to fill the void. When they found that out, it turned into talking behind my back and making my co-workers stop talking to me as well.

Then rumors would spread, and people would joke & criticize me for my PTSD issues (drinking & drugs) without even taking into consideration that I had PTSD because I looked “normal” on the outside.

Now, I’m afraid to get to know anyone because if I say the wrong things, I can pick up on their body language and know that they don’t want to bother with me. And if I ask people things and they ignore me and pretend like I don’t exist, than that’s even worse. So, I just cut myself off from everyone to prevent the feeling of abandonment.

This sounds crazy, but I think of trivial things that happened ten years ago that people have done to me, and I get irrationally angry about it. To the point of getting drunk and yelling in my room and staging mock scenarios in my head of things I should have done differently 10 YEARS AGO!

It’s wearing on me mentally and I don’t know how to stop it. So I figure the best solution is just to limit all contact with people so I don’t create more bad memories for the future. So my future self won’t be dwelling on negative things from the past.

Whoever wrote this, thank you. I would really like to donate to you guys so you can help spread this information, because I think it would help ALOT of people, combat veterans inparticular who are dealing with abandonment issues. I learned more about myself from reading this than any doctor, group, or therapy that the VA has taught me. This honestly should be required reading for people who work with veterans who suffer abandonment issues. Because everything you say is so true. Thanks again for this!

Admin says:

September 26, 2014 at 3:34 pm

Thank you for sharing your story. The article was written by Susan Anderson. I’ll make sure she sees your response.

unanimous says:

October 19, 2014 at 2:15 am

Please assist me. My daughter has not spoken to me in over 3 years. Although I know it was my fault i still wished to make ammends and have a relation with her. It is so painful. I had no idea this would leed to total abandonment of me, and her entire family. After having raised someone for over 27 years then to have all cummunication stopped….it’s tearing me apart. Thank you for any suggestions.

Admin says:

October 23, 2014 at 7:02 pm

Hi, please e-mail us at [email protected] for personal advice. We are so happy to discuss options for working with this stressful and heartbreaking situation.

Brandi says:

November 11, 2014 at 3:10 pm

My trauma runs deep. I was given up and lived with my grandmother. All through childhood my mother would come around once in a while stay for 5 min then leave again. As the years went by there was a repetitive kind of verbal abuse. Finding her to be a narcassitic parent was revealing for me because when reading about those kinds of parents at http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html which is a very long read but like each paragraph brought a memory as i read. Then years later my aunt betrayed and abandoned me, turning me into DHS or CPS whichever its called in your area, all because she didn’t want me to move from MS to NC. Five days before I was suppose to leave CPS knocked on my door and took my kids based on what my aunt said. They didnt even come into the house, just handed me a paper when i opened the front door and that was that. I was told so many things, I’m not a good parent, I am irrisponsible, I cannot make choices for myself… i sat at a table alone, my aunt her daughters and one of my sisters sat on the other side each taking a turn telling me all they saw wrong with me, wrong with me as a parent, wrong with me in every way…. Four years later I still am jumpy, relationships are extremely hard for me, family means nothing to me and I am always… ALWAYS… guarded. If someone knocks on the door of my house before calling to ask if they can come over, it sends me into a panic… ect. I am grateful for this website. I am determined to heal and overcome. Thank you for giving me a name to all I deal with. Now I know how to heal even more.

Jill Gordon says:

December 29, 2014 at 12:47 pm

After being in a relaionship for 4 years with a man with Aspergers that lacks a conscience a lot of the time I notice what I can only conclude as a feeling of hijacking of my brain as a consequence. What therapy or medication is available for this?

Admin says:

January 15, 2015 at 12:06 am

Would need to hear more to offer specific advice. Please e-mail [email protected]

Heidi Oldfield says:

February 6, 2015 at 9:48 am

Raised 3 step kids after their mother put them on a school bus and ran off with a co worker who didn’t want kids. Eventually, she had court appointed visitation, where she filled the kids heads with various fantasies. (Example: mommy left because daddy wouldn’t stop smoking!) Tried to get father to put kids in counseling years ago, as signs of abandonment issues were rearing their ugly head. Nope, best not to talk about it, it’s over, done and in the past, said the parents. Guess what? All 3 adult abandoned children are suffering the consequences! There issues are everyone else’s fault, usually step mom! The youngest claims to be getting some help soon, hoping the other 2 will as well! Makes me sad to see what a parents selfish ways can do to a child…..and they carry it with them forever! Hoping they can overcome the trauma of irresponsible adults and find peace! Thank you for this wonderful article!

Mary says:

March 7, 2015 at 4:31 pm

Re-enactment email template

I was emailing for either

information and/or a referral. The reason being is that I am currently having blocks of time that is missing. First I started off with bad dreams of being sexually and physically abused and now I am beginning to sleep walk. I already went to the doctor, neurologist and psychiatrist. All to no avail and so I Googled: “how to stop Re-enactment ” & now here I am using this site as a reference point.

Mary says:

March 7, 2015 at 4:45 pm

I was emailing for either

Liz says:

March 15, 2015 at 10:25 pm

I am female, 22 and have 6 other siblings that were severely neglected under a mentally ill/drug abusing mother and an extremely passive father who worked all the time to support the family. It wasn’t that they hit us, but they were never there and my mom did not provide, cook, teach us anything. She would take in stray cats and let them poop all over the house, every year we lived with flea infestations – it is still that way whenever I visit my parents. My siblings would have arguments and no one would be there to break up the violence and screaming. I never felt safe at home, I never knew how to take care of myself and I felt weird when I would go to friends houses and they would ask me why my teeth are bad or why I don’t know how to boil noodles or how to have table manners. Getting away from home has helped me so much, cleaning myself up, eating properly and exercise has helped my low self-esteem. Ive entered into my first relationship and it has moved mountains for my self-worth – but it is still challenging meeting people who speak frequently of their highly functioning homes and loving parents. I used to blame myself for being mean, hateful and full of pride in my heart when I would get upset with them, but now I realize that these depictions of family and the home bring back HORRIBLE memories I’d have even forgotten about and i become inwardly defensive and extremely emotional. This article has been so helpful to me, thank you for writing it. I have been trying to attend church, and have been wondering why I get so angry around all the cookie-cutter members who always talk about their loving families… I am not the bad guy… thank you. I pray everyday that I will feel God’s love and not succumb to the pain and worthlessness I carry from childhood. I hope my message inspires anyone to continue on and be loving and patient with your weaknesses.

Linda says:

March 26, 2015 at 9:42 am

I’m 41, was sexually abused by family from the age of 6 years old. More recently became aware that most of my distress was down to abandonment and daily events that act like a trigger to my past. I have had mostly poor short relationships that have never got started because of lack of trust. Last year I met a man that has remained consistent, shown me love, been reliable and these things have helped me to be able to build some positive foundations. He is about to move in with me. This may sound very ‘normal’ however it’s the first time in my life that I have got to this stage. I feel like I have turned a corner and somehow found a way to take a monumental step. I realise this is a huge thing for me and part of moving on. Today I sit crying, another tiny event has triggered my feelings of loss and again I feel abandoned. This website highlights part if me. I do however have hope, I now have a label for it, I realise this is not about my partner but about my past. I will read the book, I need to understand more, to do what I can to get unstuck from my old behaviours. I continue to work on it. Thank you for listening

Lynn says:

March 27, 2015 at 4:53 pm

Hi. I have lived with severe PTSD since age 3 compiled with trauma after trauma through further youth and adult abandonment. I found therapy to reignite issues leaving me stuck rather than healing. I swing from extremes of overreation to nonreaction. Always in a hyper state or fear. I fear all attatchment yet being in a healthy loving relationship is what I wish with all my heart. I’m now 57 and want to be unstuck.

Admin says:

April 1, 2015 at 8:57 pm

Hi Lynn (and anyone that I haven’t responded to that has left a message here!) Please reach out to us via e-mail. [email protected] Share your story in brief and we will discuss options for the road ahead.

Stephen says:

April 9, 2015 at 11:05 pm

What do you mean by “narcissistically injured self ” that seems a bit harsh. But everything thus far feels spot on for me.

My parents got divorced when I was 11 and it was a bad one. I began acting out more n school and my parents were pressured by the school to bring me to a residential program where I was subject to weeks and weeks of isolation as a form of punishment.

As an adult I suffer from agoraphobia, I suppose that s my defense mechanism. Additionally I am quick to cut people out of my life is they project negativity on me or if they show patterns of taking my words out of context and using them to place judgment on me that I feel is false.

Does that make me a narcissist?

Stephen says:

April 9, 2015 at 11:21 pm

My parents got divorced when I was 11, I started acting out and fighting a lot in school and engaging in a lot of aggressive risk-taking behavior. My parents were pressured by the school to put me in a residential facility. I was taken there suddenly and without warning, I was told I was going to another routine appointment but I did not know my bags were packed. I was subject to periods of isolation that lasted time periods of multiple weeks to a month. As an adult I suffer from agoraphobia and I am very quick to cut people out of my life who I feel are projecting negativity on me.

In the past I used to react to insults with violence, I suppose that could be narcissistic rage, but nowadays it equates to me cutting that person out of my life and telling them why their behavior is hurtful. Do I have to tell them about themselves? That is debatable, but either way I feel it is better to cut them off and leave them with something to think about. Does that still make me a narcissist?

Deb says:

April 13, 2015 at 12:00 am

Do people with abandonment issues ever overcome their denial enough to get treatment and return to relationships are they’ve destroyed with their bad behavior? I love my fiance, and we recently underwent an intervention for a reality TV show to try and fix a lot of damage that had occured in our lives. His paranoid and jealous behavior have caused a lot of damage to our relationship. Part of our therapy was to work on our individual issues in separate citiies, but I don’t believe they realized he had severe abandonment issues. I only figured it out from recent internet research. I’m a doctor so I am a glutton for information and am desperate for a solution, but I know this is one of the toughest problems out there. At first it seemed like he had accepted that he probably suffered from abandonment issues, but he quickly regressed to blaming me and saying I’m a horrible person who doesn’t love him and just wants to be with other men. This hurts so much because it is so far from the truth, but he just keeps wanting to blame me rather than work on his abandonment issues. His trust issues are so bad that he just does not seem capable of doing this on his own. I have defensiveness issues so you can only imagine what a terrible combination this is. I am supposed to be working with a life coach here, and he is supposed to work with a therapist there, but it is so infrequent that neither has been very effective. I don’t know how to deal with his mean acting out behavior which can be vile. I try to just ignore his texts and refuse his calls when he’s being abusive, but I know it is breaking his heart. I don’t want to give up on him, but if he is going to deny abandonment issues and blame me then I can’t live with his current behavior. I’ve begged him to acknowledge the abandonment issues and at least try to stop acting out, but he just comes back saying I’m evil and never loved him and just want to be with other people. I finally told him that he wins and I quit. I have not taken his calls or read his texts since. I know this has to be terribly traumatic for him, but the abuse was really getting to me. He went through two weeks of intense recovery and got clean from alcohol abuse, but I worry this trauma could trigger him to break his sobriety. I’m obviously here to try and treat the co-dependency, but this is breaking my heart because I know only he can fix this. Any advice on how to deal with him so that more abandonment damage is not done? I kept telling him I was not abandoning him, but he still kept acting like an ass, yet expecting me to act like he was the greatest thing in the world. He’s been acting like a 2 year old with a really foul mouth. I told him I would not tolerate that behavior, but he kept it up. I know it is probably hopeless, but I had hoped to be able to break the cycle. He has two boys who already lost their mother when they were very young. I love them and want to be a mom to them, but their dad keeps sabotaging things with bad behavior. When he’s not acting out he’s a great guy, but he seems dead set on blaming me and destroying us.

maddie says:

April 16, 2015 at 8:39 am

i need help. i know what is wrong but i can’t fix it. my father left as an infant and my mother was abusive my while childhood. i suffered Sexual abuse and neglection everywhere i went. i was bullied at school and bullied at home I had no family member willing to help. I was chucked out by my mother at 9 and lived in foster homes and refuges yet the system slip me through the cracks so I technically had no guardian since 9.

I am now a single mother after being abandoned again by another set of people. I’m scared for my own actions. I am still alone. I don’t trust anyone I can’t get over my past including my childhood. I cry every night to sleep.

I am 22 now. yet I feel like I have lived 50 years. I need help but it’s hard to find. I speak to one councillor they send me to another and another and another. I just keep being thrown around. I found out I have cervical cancer. and I have no support I was always suicidal as a child and never changed I never found my meaning even as a mother. I have no hope in this life. I am convinced this is a nightmare and I’ll wake up someone else. I can’t accept me as me. I never tell people my real name. I can’t stand to hear it. it’s like a trigger for me. my own name.

Erin says:

April 19, 2015 at 5:50 pm

Wow, this article helped me make so much sense of my issues. Ive had abandoment issues since early childhood, however last year my best friend decided out of the blue to never cut ties…. the adverse affect of this has been putting a lot of strain on my relationship of 4 years, there are days when i cant be affectionate towards him, then i feel that he will abandon me, its a never ending cycle…. its really hard for me to deal with people on a close level and i no longer am able to refer to anyone as my best friend, which causes friends to be upset. This article helped alot. Whenever i am finally finacially and legally able to get help, this will definitely help me explain.

Buyisiwe Evelyn Mbatha says:

April 23, 2015 at 9:13 am

Hi am staying with a17 year old child who does nt now her parent i need help so that she can also be help cause she stared to miss behave sleep any were bad freinds so am stack with her pleas help us

J says:

May 1, 2015 at 12:09 am

I have been swinging on the pendulum my whole life, since my earliest schoolgirl crushes up until the latest and seemingly most painful romantic loss to date. I am so thankful that I happened upon your work. I feel a sense of relief in understanding better my relationship patterns that after all these years have yielded little joy or satisfaction. I think I have suffered many abandonments but didn’t really recognize their significance until now. My mother was severely bi-polar while carrying both my brother and I and continually throughout my childhood. She would have to spend weeks even months sometimes in the hospital and was often unresponsive due to heavy medication. My father did his best to care for us emotionally but I learned very early to hide my fears, concerns and needs in order to not at to the ongoing drama. I am a diehard people pleaser still to this day and often wonder how my life would have unfolded differently if I had asked for help when I needed it, instead of hiding my needs. It is so complex and I’m only just starting to see the whole picture. I’m just so thankful that there is a way out of this and I am not alone:)

Cindy says:

May 18, 2015 at 12:22 pm

I am a 40-year old women that just starting dealing with childhood abandonment issues that were triggered by a 1/2 brother that just moved to my state. He made me aware that my mother really could care less about me. It was easy for me to acknowledge this information being she chose here new husband over me at the age of 8 years old and drop me to live with my grandmother. I would like to share my experiences with other adults that have shared similar experiences…I look forward in hearing from everyone.

Tom says:

May 29, 2015 at 7:35 am

How do you handle this situation from the viewpoint of the spouse married to someone with this disorder? Because, it’s really hard when all of the characteristics begin to manifest itself in the relationship.

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