mchlxx

[mchlxx]

Gusto kong malaman kung kaya pa ba natin ayusin to.

kung kaya mo pa ko mahalin katulad ng dati

kung kaya mo pa ko mapatawad

na kung sakali bang dumating yung araw na mapatawad mo ko

kakalimutan natin ang lahat at magsimula tayo ulit

na meron kang tiwala at pagmamahal sakin

alam kong wala akong karapatan para magdemand sayo

dahil sa ginawa ko

pero inaayos ko naman

pinipilit kong ayusin to

bigyan mo ko ng chance na mahalin ka ng buo

mahal na mahal kita

at ang sakit sakit na

[mchlxx]

dahan dahan

sasaktan ko sarili ko ng dahan dahan hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya at tapusin nalang lahat ng to.

sinaktan kita ako yung nagloko tapos ganito ako ngayon

tangina ko diba

alam ko naman na ikaw yung gusto ko habang buhay pero bakit ko yon ginawa sayo

im so sorry love

if you really can't give me chance

and you're better off without me

i wont accept it pero wala ako magagawa

would it take days? weeks? or months

for me to realize na mas okay na mamatay ako

i love you ao much my moonlight

and i hate seeing you like this because of me

[mchlxx]

2024-02-14

here I am again but im at my breaking point

i want to foresee the future

i want my future to be with you

but are you really is my future?

i cant see it yesterday

i cant see it last year

and

i cant see it now

please give me a reason to stay

especially now

i need it now

please

im begging you

give me a reason

for me to stay

[mchlxx]

happy valentines day love!

i really am grateful for the efforts i know that u don't have enough money to buy me a real bouquet but this one is enough.

its just me wont settle for just enough maybe because i expecting more from you or since i saw a msg from your inbox thats why i expected more. and yet again here i am when i should feel grateful, i feel a slight disappointment not with you but with our relationship

if you only just add a letter because u know for a fact that is something i would appreciate. just 2 years have passed but we are somehow in the middle or peak of a downfall or am i the only one feeling that.

i'm sorry for expecting more when i should be just be contented with what your love can give.

2023-02-14

[mchlxx]

Here i am again when theres many things running inside my head.

Okay i agree to have sex. To have sex without protection.

But I’m not ready to be a mother not now

I can’t see myself raising a child when i myself is slowly knowing what life is

And i still have plans

I want it to be you

But first i want to marry you maybe at the age of 28 and enjoy it without a child

When we both have a savings

Because right now i cant survive this

Please understand me having this kind of mindset

[mchlxx]

Its starting again!!!

My anxiety its coming back after so many months

Because i might be positive for covid

But its different now

Im scared

Im scared to die

Last time im not scared but rather the opposite

Now im scared

I dont wanna die

Not yet

Not yet now that im happy

Now that someone loves me

More than i love myself

Im breaking down again

Please let it stop

[mchlxx]

My love

Yup,my love

Im insecure over the fact that she’s your first in everything..

The thought did cross my mind that i cant be what she has been to you and what if by that u wont feel the same about me

I have experiences about things like that but in that matter i dont know a damn thing about it

It sucks i know

I’m still scared like I always was

You always say that u don’t care about my past

Because i have a shitty past 5 yrs ago

And u said that u accept me for who i am

But by that fact of the past i am jealous, hurting,

Overthinking and INSECURE.

If maybe we have met first

If maybe you have fall inlove with me by that time

But then I hope that your my

Right time, right love and right person

[mchlxx]

Scared

I know in my heart that im ready

But im scared

Im scared of myself

Paano kung mag break tayo? Edi wala na kong kaibigan na macchat

Paano pag nag sawa ako? Masasaktan kita

Ayoko mangyari yun

[mchlxx]

“i l o v e y o u” No pressure happened but i know that i love you And its your right to know that we have the same feelings for each other. But I won’t say it now You need to know first my past Yes my past Its all in the past I dont want to be unfair to you

[mchlxx]

Less

The one thing im sure is that i dont feel the butterflies anymore

I feel like your just using me because your sad

You’re heartbroken by another person

But why me?

Why always me????

Am i not that worth it?

For you to make me feel this way?

I know i deserve more but why im giving in

By those little gestures

You dont deserve me

I deserve more

I deserve someone who can love me

I deserve someone who can appreciate me

I deserve someone who actually care for me

But why i settle for less

Maybe thats my middle name

Since the day that I’ve met you

Less

[mchlxx]

My Cigarette

[mchlxx]

Gag*

Ang gago ko naman kasi bakit ako pumayag dalawang beses pa i feel so cheap ganto nalang ba talaga ako? Wtf michele anong nangyayari sa buhay mo!

[mchlxx]

I want to love even though it means that i will be hurt i just want to feel alive i want to have feelings

[mchlxx]

Freetext

I dream about you. Im with your family the your so open about your feelings. May sinabi kang term bisaya term? Nung nalaman mo na meron akong nilalandi sabi mo ouch tapos sinabi mo sa mama mo yung term and she knows the meaning. I thought it was real but when i look in our chat convo nothing.

[mchlxx]

Uminom kayo nag cr sa taas ng office inabangan ka gusto ka nyang halikan ayaw mo pero bumigay ka tangina nagpahalik ka tapos binitin ka kupal

[mchlxx]

I think I’m ready but not that ready that i still hesitates even there’s an alcohol in my blood. Why can’t i just say yes and everything will follow. Don’t worry for a moment just enjoy it. And regret it later? Why can’t I just do it?!

[mchlxx]

After almost a month nag yosi ka ulit.why? Are u affected? Bakit kasi napansin mo din yung simpleng pag care nya sakanya? Like nakasakay na ba sya imbis na ikaw din tanungin nya. Na kung uuwi din ba sya? Or nung nalaman mo na tinanong nya na wala syang dalang damit tapos mag sleepover sya samantalang ikaw uuwi ka from north to south dis oras ng gabi pero walang say. Baka naman kasi may something talaga sakanila di mo lang tinitignan kasalanan mo din kasi umeepal ka. So bakit nga? Di mo naman gusto diba naaattach ka lang sakanya kasi pafall sya pero di ka pa naffall nauulit nanaman ba yung nangyari kay perdi at zeph? Stop na pls di mo deserve to