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no one:

steve rogers and natasha romanoff in every mcu movie:

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What’s your fantasy?

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comedians: it's so difficult to be funny nowadays without sjws getting offended

robert pattinson, without an inch of effort:

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REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S

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Steve wrote this 

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no more films about clowns

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Full Image

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ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

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im going to fucking die

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bucky: [takes a sip of a coca cola before spiting it out]

bucky: what the hell is that?

sam: ???? is there a problem with your pop?????????

steve: oh! i know the problem. buck, they dont make coca cola with cocaine anymore

bucky: what the fuck!

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Me: *reads fan-fiction so I can feel the love and affection that I’m not getting*

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You, an intellectual: 9+7=16

Me, with ADHD: if you take 1 from 9 and give it to 7 thats 8+8 and 8x2 is 16

Someone, usually a Teacher: NOT LIKE THAT YOU HEATHEN

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