meltlikeplastic

[meltlikeplastic]

misguided ppl who say “humans are evil since we only do good things bc it makes us feel good not bc it makes other ppl feel good” practice an odd form of selective hearing. by ur own admission the internal motivation of humans 2 do good comes from the fact that, well, ppl feel good when instilling good feelings in others….. doesnt sound very evil or selfish to me…. aueaux contraireaux, it sounds almost…. empathethic…… compassionate………….. goodwilled, one could say…………….

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thinking about the way the archives are perceived by the outside world. and how melanie went there to make a statement even though she had no respect for it simply because she knew they would at least listen to her when everyone else had made her a laughing stock, and how jon in his early prickliness was dismissive too, but still, the archives had represented something to her, a haven to be understood.

thinking about how people send in their statements for so many reasons. to get them off their chests and in the past. to contribute to the archives and hopefully learn some more about their own experiences. to have someone, anyone, read/hear what they have to say and listen, not treat them like they’re crazy or accuse them of lying, just listen.

thinking about the archives as this place that attracts all these stumbling, struggling confused people to reach out and share and be understood.

thinking about how the archives, really, should represent the opposite of the lonely.

but

the eye takes the mortifying ordeal of being known and gives none of the rewards of being loved. it turns a place that to others is a way to experience connection and catharsis into a temple to an entity that wants to know you too much, that does not want you to be relieved of your fear but relive it all the time for its own gain.

so i am thinking about how peter lukas could help run the archives because the eye never cared about true connection for all of its knowing. but i am also thinking about how he could not take martin because the archivist jon did.

i am thinking about how, although The Archives are an evil place, the people within it tried so hard not to be. how jon could not avoid the negative effects of it all, but learned to offer comfort anyway. how they all investigated and did follow up statements and reached out and reconnected and learned and tried to tell others well, here’s the best we can figure out about what’s happening to you.

i am thinking about how, in another world and another life, they could have been in an archive that existed to learn and document data, to contribute to a grander understanding of the world and the supernatural for everyone to access, a place for people to share their experiences and know that they were all investigated and looked into without prejudice, with open minds to the idea that they could be real, a place that would not turn you down but would say come share with us, come lighten your load and learn from us as we learn from you.

i am thinking about how the entities are fear but how their followers experience it as love, how there is this constant tie between the two concepts, how gerry said there are no entities of love and friendship or anything like that and how he’s right but

but the entities can attract people that are scared but still so full of love, just like anybody else. and these people can choose to keep on loving and trying no matter what, and they can take the horrors that they’re bound to and turn them into something else, something human and beautiful even as they are turned monstrous in return.

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i judge my emotional state by how often i listen to san bernardino. ive looped it for at least three days 

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GOOD THINGS ARE IN THE WORKS! GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING!

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The mountain goats are like …. here’s a song about resisting fascism and here’s a song about selling your blood for money and here’s a song about eaitng organs on the moon and here’s a song about waiting to be burned as a witch and here’s a song about being an abused child who looks up to a pro-wrestler and here’s a song about being the ultimate jedi who wastes all the other jedi and here’s a song about an early christian martyr questioning whether god really loves them. Thanks, jd.

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TFB at UMass Lowell 12/18/18

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this is so sad alexa play twin sized mattress

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You’re not punk unless you EAT a pair of DOC MARTENS 

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hey I exist I guess

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the front bottoms || my art don’t remove caption ||

[meltlikeplastic]

you are still the only thing and every thing i need in my life