mercutiolaffingalonewithcap-blog

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part of me is always like "friendship is important and people are important and we should all try to be nice to everyone despite how hard it may be" but another part of me is like "jesus christ i hate every single person i meet" but then ANOTHER part of me is just in a constant state of existential relapse floating among the eldritch horrors of a realm unknown pushing, pushing against the walls of my brain like a violent rapping on a chamber door perhaps with the intent to breathe in the air of a conquerable world beyond the deep damp folds of my psyche or perhaps in an attempt to escape something much, much darker brewing with the sinister gurgle of a thing trapped and long since held hostage in thick, murky solitude like a blossom pushing through the winter slush in a vain effort to bloom against the elements, disrupting status quo, hand feeding the beast of an already chaotic and random world of unmeaning, surfacing against the greater will of god

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all you fuckin rigmaroles in the states talkin about being "punk rock" all the time.......you know what's punk rock in verona??? FRIENDSHIP and LIVING and MANAGING TO AVOID BECOMING A TOOL OF A CORRUPT INSTITUTION FOR A DECENT AMOUNT OF YOUR ADULT LIFE AND THEREBY HELPING ADVANCE AN ADMITTEDLY HELPLESS CAUSE TO MITIGATE THE CONSTANT ONGOING PROBLEM OF THE CITY'S PLAGUELIKE ADDICTION TO GRATUITOUS VIOLENCE + THE CEASELESS CYCLE OF REVENGE GENERATIONS OF VERONA CITIZENS BEFORE US DEADLOCKED THEMSELVES INTO BY GRABBING IT BY THE BIG SWEATY BALLS AND POPPING THOSE MANGOS RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER THE DICK WITH THE FIRE OF YOUR MANAGING TO SUCCEED IN SPITE OF THEIR OPPRESSIVE GIRTH jesus i'm sweating

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rather complainy lately. not my best look.

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i spend way too much of my time thinking about how stupid the rules of like "what colors can/can't you wear as a montague or capulet" but you know whats even more stupid??????? being a member of the governing family and having to make sure that the FUCKING shade of FUCKING purple you wear to public outings isnt too FUCKING blue or FUCKING red!!!! "mercutio you arent saying that youre put in immediate danger if your boots are more of a royal tyrian color or your shirt is a bit on the indigo side are you?? that would be nonsense!" its COMPLETE FUCKING NONSENSE THATS WHY I ALWAYS WEAR BLACK AND GREY OR EVERY FUCKING COLOR I CAN FUCKING PULL OVER MY DISGUSTING BODY fashion is the dumbest thing i swear...!!

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contrary to popular belief i actually hate this goddamn holiday why does everyone think i like it?????? they are the april fools i am but a man

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anything is real if you believe in it!!! except peace and gender equality and the end of racism and a stable democracy and food for the starving and your own mental health and missy elliott getting back in the rap game again but i was trying to make a statement about how its reasonable to be afraid of everything as well as nothing bc to the eye of fear everything is the same but i got carried away and now i dont care about any of this and im gonna go jack off into the quarry a few miles from here instead

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italy is so FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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me: *wakes up every morning* me: *grabs a hot cuppa joe and puts on my finest robe* me: *looks out my window and surveys the vast cityscape of my hometown verona* me: hahaha *pours my scalding hot coffee all over my head* i fucking hate it here :)

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callouts

@capulets stop acting like you dont all fuck each other all the time every day i dont even CARE about the fuckin political corruption and dirty dealings that keep you out of fucking prison in fact i admire the opportunistic and resourceful attitude youve all adopted but for fucks sake call it what it is!!! i thought you people were supposed to be the upfront and in your face family of the two and this "pretend it never happened" shit is NOT living up to your real housewives reputation and you all are about nothing but living up to fucking reputation!!!!!! big man capulet especially if you expect us to believe the last dick your wife hitched a ride on of her own free will was yours you my friend are a bigger comedian than i!!!! heres a hint: id check around the 18-24 year old age group in subsection "blood relative" for the culprit i mean not that you dont already know who im talking about but im just saying!!! you cant let a guy be better at raising your daughter AND fucking your wife and still demand respect from everybody!!!! @montagues stop being so snakey!!! youre all fucking cold blooded ingrates you are and not the kind i like!! honestly if you werent making life harder for me by being like this i wouldnt care but take this from the man raising your son: HE VERY MUCH NOTICES WHEN YOU DONT PAY ATTENTION TO HIM and he IS VERY MUCH AWARE THAT YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATIVE AND NO BETTER THAN THE CAPULETS JUST BC YOURE MORE LOWKEY ABOUT YOUR AWFUL NATURE!! take a fucking vacation! experience fucking joy!!! go fuck someone other than your spouse to spice things up!!! romeos dad that was a message specifically geared towards you!!! please respond to my texts sir this offer will expire likely before my next anonymous sexual encounter!!! i honestly dont know how much more cock can go up there before i need to have my entire bottom half amputated and at the rate im going coupled with the amount of favors being asked of me as of late by very handsome men who will do "literally anything" to meet my recently released from prison sister i'm gonna say you should probably cash in now!!! @mercutio you sound like youre trying to stop political corruption in verona which is like trying to stop an avalanche by hissing at it!! you are helpless in the face of the machine!!! you fucking rat all you do is vandalize and harass and people look at you like the leader of a fucking rebellion when really youre just behaving like a teenager but these kids dont know what thats like because theyve never been allowed to be teenagers!!! every one of them deserves more than you!! you cant take care of anyone!! you cant take care of romeo!! you cant take care of yourself!! youre hot nonsense in a leather jacket you flippant FUCKING shit!! you think you know everything but youre really just fucked in the head!!! youre no mad because of the city and its injustice youre mad because waiting around and doing nothing about a problem didn't make you get better!!! you're mad because no one ever helped you!!!! no one ever helped you!!!! no one ever helped you!!!! no one ever helped you!!!! you are insane!!!! you are going to HELL!!!! @uncleparis when did you wanna go look at cars i know you said you have friday off but im only free till noon

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you're a merCUTIEo

ive got two fingers up my ass right now so i cant type much more than thank you but i can assure you im thrilled at the moment!! and 70% of it is bc of this ask hmmmhmmmhmmmmmhhmhmhmhhhh

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you and benvolio remind me of maureen and joanne so much. like, seriously.

yeah we also had a horrible relationship where i cheated a lot so yknow it lines up

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hey mercutio, have you seen rent?

i sat through it before yeah. but then i learned benvolio hated it so i pretended to love it and made him watch it a metric fuckton of times with me bc i LIVE for watching his little fucking face get red. not that he technically has a "fucking face" he's asexual but i think my drift was caught. thinks hes so fucking mellow ive seen him get angry enough over bullshit to give tybalt a run for his money i LOVE IT

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please send a free Dildo i am a lonely 20 year old busty blonde

leak ya address and we will see if you even need that dildo when im done!!!!!! actually nvm thats selfish of me i dont need a fuck but i do have a friend who does so if youre into 1. the constant appearance of having just cried2. chronic dependency3. ass you can bounce a penny off of4. impervious to being licked/excessively touched by the same sexi know just the guy you can hit up!!!!! i love giving back to the community!!!!!!

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texting tybalt 2day

me: so youll pmuch fuck any girl with a pulse right

tybalt: No, I have certain standards and preferences. I also don't want to talk about this right now.

me: right so like what if the girl youre about to heterosex with like what if youre gonna do it but then you feel her heartbeat and it pumps 8 times are u gonna bail because thats the same number of letters in the word montague

tybalt: Everyone's heart has beaten at least 8 times, Mercutio.

me: including yours?

tybalt: If I say yes you're going to probably call me a Montague and if I say no I'm sure you'll think of something stupid in response.

me: BOOOOO NO FUN!!!

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invented new type of cocaine which is just regular cocaine mixed with the powder at the bottom of a few cereal boxes but i'm calling this shit "tinkerbell" for profit

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u should probably stop being friends with romeo i mean he's probably just gonna do something stupid and get someone killed one day and u don't wanna be in the middle of that do u? u don't deserve to die for some whiny idiot's wacky schemes tbh

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honestly id fuck nicki minaj my anaconda truly dont want none unless you got bunz hun and that doesnt mean you gotta be a dude i can make certain exceptions and tbh id let nicki set me on fire if she wanted to