messysneeze

[messysneeze]

*muttering* agent smith becoming a computer virus like he does in the movies but to represent that he manifests with a soupy headcold, breathing through his mouth, sniffling back mucus, sneezing all over neo in every interaction, and getting sicker and sicker as he spreads throughout the matrix

[messysneeze]

"So...how was the concert?" A asks, raising an eyebrow at their visibly exhausted roommates and friends who are huddled up in the kitchen after waking up a few hours later than normal- to be expected, they got home a few hours later than normal, too.

"SnFfff-Snrk! It was- snff snff!- uch, gibbe a mbinute- sNFF! snRrkk!" B attempts to speak from behind a handful of damp tissues.

"khhf-khhf! KHhHHUFF!- It was- Khhf-khhf-KhUfff!" C begins and quickly flounders, turning away and pounding on their chest with a fist.

"Iihht...ihht wa-ahh...AH'KtSshiew! Ah'TsSCHIEW! Ah'PtssHIIEW!" D says, pressing the back of their wrist to their nose in a feeble attempt to cover their harsh, spraying sneezes.

"He-eght-e-eght-hrmmm! Hrghht-hummm!... it was-" E croaks out, barely audible under the symptomatic commotion of the rest of the group.

"Mmm? Uhm...I'wss...Ih'wass...mm..." F mumbles pressing their burning forehead against the cool marble countertop and sighing with relief as they begin to doze off.

"Jesus, one at a time guys... how was it?" A asks again.

"SnfFff-snrkkK! All thi'gs condsidered- snrrk!- pretty fundd," B says.

"-And a little chilly- KhhHFF- khhuff!" C adds.

"A-And raaiiny-yIiHH'tSshiew! Ih'PtSshieww!" D says with a finger held under their nostrils- to no avail.

"and loud...Heght-eghmm!" E says proudly, their voice beginning to fray at the edges and fade to a whisper, a scraping sound audible and tangible as they clear their scratchy throat.

"And crowded...definitely...defini'tly crowded," F says with a yawn.

"I can tell it was crowded, all five of you went to the same place and stood in the same spot the whole time and managed to catch five different colds...I'm almost impressed," A chuckles, folding their arms.

"You're free to joind us if you thig'k it's so fu'ddy- SNrkkk!-" B says teasingly, offering out a germy hand with a knowing smirk as A hurriedly takes several steps back.

"N-no thanks...Nahh, I'm- I'm good," A insists, holding up both hands and leaving the kitchen.

[messysneeze]

a habitual stifler absolutely full to the brim with cold. still dutifully holding them back, even as the sneezes start to come thicker, faster, and more frequently as the hours tick by.

thicker as each one sounds more choked and slushy and wet than the last.

faster as they start to tear out of them with an aggressively viral desperation, the little noise of effort at suppressing them more pronounced each time.

more frequently as their cold devolves, fits of uncharacteristic doubles, triples, even a particularly vexatious set of four, now plaguing them several times an hour.

until it’s all too much

and yet another sneeze comes upon them

but this one is just a smidge too fast

and a little too full

and whilst they do still valiantly (if not reflexively) try to stifle it just completely fails, leaving the back of their hand a shiny, snot-covered mess.

[messysneeze]

when someone is sick and they're warning people about it. 😍🥵👀 just a few prime examples:

"ugh, trust mbe, you don't wandt this."

"you bmight wanna step bagk. I thigk I'b c-contagious... heh-!"

"keeb your distance. I'b really - hih...hah'ISSHiue! ...sigk."

"I don't wand to get you sigk."

"don't combe near mbe unless you want to be in for a world of bmisery."

"huh’GGSSHH’IUE! ugh. enter at your own risk."

"I wouldn't sidt there if I were y-you - ha'iggSHH’iue!"

[feel free to add your own! 🙏]

[messysneeze]

Been so in to contagion lately I've shifted from loving handkerchiefs to liking anything BUT handkerchiefs.

Like BOOO don't keep your sneeze perfectly neat and contained within its assigned little fabric!!

Don't keep the mess all to yourself!

I want that shit on hoodie sleeves, in scraps of toilet paper, cupped palms, on surfaces, on people.

Just the idea of someone fumbling for something, anything in their vain attempt to keep their drenching, thick sneeze contained.

[messysneeze]

i just wanna say i absolutely ADORE your writing. i keep rereading your stuff dude, all of it is just so, SO GOOD. and man if you ever feel like writing some really sick dude who's miserable with a cold on his way home from work (left early, ofc) who's just dripping and feeling gross and stuffed up and itchy and sneezy as hell on public transport and he's out of tissues and oh fuck everyone's staring??? I'D LITERALLY DIE HAPPY 😭

hey anon, thanks so so much for the kind words, and for this prompt. this may just be the grossest thing I've written in a bit, and boy was it fun. hope it fits the bill 🫶🏼

cw mess

-

His head leans against the bus window, eyes staring into space. His relentlessly drippy nose produces constant vulgar, liquid sounds with every unavoidable sniffle, and the sight of it isn’t any less forgiving. Deep red, like a stain from the juice of blueberries. All around his nostrils, down to his philtrum. His breathing has a shaky rhythm to it, between noisy, slurping sniffles, and coughs that are too weak to move the phlegm lining his throat.

At a certain point it seems as if he’s dozed off. Mucus streams down his upper lip, and the next breath seems to catch on the muck in his throat. His brow crumples as he coughs and draws in more deep, liquid sniffles. He lifts a folded, sodden tissue to dab at the moisture oozing from his chapped nostrils. It’s all he has left. 

The sound of a shaky breath arrives like a distant siren. His eyes close, not just out of exhaustion, but in resignation of what’s to come. With fumbling fingers, he lifts the damp one-eighth surface area of tissue over his flaring nostrils.

“hrrRR’USSCHHIUE!!!-USSHIEWW!! hiH-! huUDZ’EEISSCHHIUHh!!! …. *snnnrgk~* … *snrgk*”

If the ‘Move Out Of The Way’ siren-like gasps hadn’t been heeded by any passengers a few moments earlier, they were certainly alerted by the sudden hurricane-caliber burst of sneezes, which had expelled an uncontainable amount of warm, goopy mess into the small folded-up tissue. He pants for breath, clutching the soaked fibres over his still tingling nose. His other hand moves to his pocket, but any tissue that’s left is wet and unusable, leaving him to try and pinch-wipe the mess away with the sopping one he’s holding. His upper lip stings as the tissues grazes it. 

“AAIY'ESSCHHIEWWw!!!” 

Fuck. He isn’t exactly a fan of surprises, and that one had been particularly un-delightful. By now the passengers on the bus have parted like the Red Sea - some spooked, some disgusted. The man can barely sniffle, and trying is far too ticklish. Both hands hurriedly rise to cover his mouth and nose as the urge reappears with violence.

“-'EDSSCHHIUHhh!!!”

Oh dear. 

His eyes blink hazily through a film of moisture. There are tear tracks he can feel, but that seems to be the least of his troubles right now. Muffled coughs seem to expedite the unending flow of thick mucus, pooling into his palms. Sniffles are merely instinctive, no use to him now. The air is warm beneath his steepled hands. He doesn’t dare move them.

[messysneeze]

Thick yellow snot >>> liquid transparent mucus.

It seems so obvious🤷🏻‍♂️

[messysneeze]

someone snniffling and snorting all day to try and keep their runny nose in check. the sound is getting thicker and thicker sounding, almost soupy until their nose is utterly full and it finally demands compensation. the sneeze that happens is the messiest thing ever, its everywhere and the its not just one sneeze so their nose is forcing all the snot out with desperation

[messysneeze]

idk why it’s so sexy to me to imagine a significant other miserably, visibly sick with a cold at work, or while studying. Mask on, box of tissues on their work station, constantly refilling thermos of tea… stifling-or maybe releasing-a miserably congested sneeze from their burning nose every 20 minutes or so…”uhhTTSCHUE!” “epttSHIEEW” “Eh…hESSHEAAH!” “HepTCHXXH” “nddTSSCHFF!” *sddfff** And of course, a stream of long, gurgling, wet nose blows through out the day.

[messysneeze]

The Test- pt.2/3

Premise: Man locked in room, experiment to see how quickly/severely he's infected with a cold. He also has the kink teehee. (continuation of pt.1 on my profile)

2.6k words of this man having absolutely no control over his nose and wondering what the hell they infected him with.

CW: Descriptions of mess. A fair amount. I've been really into it lately.

Rest of fic under the cut!

Nathan blew his nose for what felt like the hundredth time that day. It was ridiculous. It was only 4pm on his first day with this godforsaken cold and his face felt utterly clogged.

He could feel the pressure across the tops of his cheeks, spreading to his ears from the mess filling his sinuses. It clung to the back of his throat too, gurgling upwards every time he’d raised a fisted hand to hack into. 

And yet, despite its seemingly clagging up his face like cement, it found a way to trickle out, dripping onto his lip before he even realised what was happening.

He’d never felt so disgusting in all his life. And the thought that there was someone constantly watching and monitoring his misery sent a thrill of embarrassment rippling through him every time he caught a glimpse of the camera’s red flickering light in the corner.

He was sat up in bed, stubbornly refusing to lay down before he’d even had his tea. It was only day one for Christ’s sake. He refused to be bed-ridden already. But god he was tired. A weariness that rattled through his bones and hung around his brow bone. 

His nose twitched, up and up, then sank down slowly. It hitched again, squelching. Nathan’s vision went hazy as the urge to sneeze once again took his senses hostage. His breath scissored laboriously. Such a production. Not only were his sneezes wetter and more all-consuming than his usual sneezes but they had a ridiculously long build-up.

Usually he was a one-and-done man. But this cold had other ideas.

He’d sit there in agonising limbo, chest rising up and up as he lost focus of anything else he might be trying to do. Utterly focused on the itch that laced its way up and down his nostrils, catching on the hairs, rising upwards with every inhale.

“H–UHHH….ehhhh” He gasped, letting his mouth slip open.

The book he had been attempting to read slipped from his fingers, dropping to the mattress below.

Still his breath snagged and hitched, the sound growing louder and louder. 

“H–Aaaahh…HUH-UHH—”

Now that he wasn’t inhaling strategically too, his nose was running badly- a slow ooze determined to make it to his lips. A tear sprouted at the corner of his eye, irritated from the pressure building in his inflamed sinuses.

“H-UHH-uhh…H’EH!”

Fucks sake. He just needed to sneeze. The need for relief swelled through him. He’d do almost anything to be rid of the sensation coursing through him. 

He could try a twisted up tissue. That sometimes worked for him at home when he wanted to make himself sneeze for…other reasons. But what about the people watching him? Would they think he was some freak for doing that?

That’s why he hadn’t wanked off before, though he’d desperately wanted to. The idea of the speakers picking up his stifled moans timed right after a particularly drenching sneeze had been too mortifying. 

“HUU–uhh-Huh–Ehh…..Fu-Uhhhck– P-please.” he whispered to himself, still stuck in an overwhelming call for release. His chest was shivering, nose heaving with the mess filling it.

Fuck it. He had no other choice.

Through the bleary gaze of a cracked open eye, Nathan fumbled for the tissue box. He was almost through his first one of two. Not great as he wasn’t sure if passing him another one would jeopardise the experiment. 

He snagged a tissue and began rolling it in his fingers, shaky and messy as the need to sneeze kept making him tip his head back and squeeze his eyes shut involuntarily.

Finally, the tip of the tissue sufficiently chiseled, he inserted it into his left nostril.

One, two turns. The effect was almost instant.

“H-uhhh’’AESHEIW…HUH-huhH- ET’SCHIEWW…HAH’HEHDTS’shuh….H’ETCH-uhhh!”

They blasted out of him without restraint, tipping him forward into his lap. The mess shot of him- splattering his book, his covers, his t-shirt. God there was so much. But fuck that had felt so good.

He sat there panting for a moment, head swimming from the force of them. Before he slowly sat up. The mess that had been hanging forward snapped onto his face, trailing well below his chin. Ughh.

Exhaustedly, he snatched the remaining tissues from his box and scooped up the moisture spread across his face. He blew thickly, grimacing as it filled the tissue beyond any use. Shit, he was gonna have to open up that second box.

One hand clutching the well-soiled, soggy mess still clutched to his face, he reached for the next box. Fresh tissues retrieved, he stuffed the ruined ones inside and got to work cleaning the rest of himself up.

Blinking slowly, he shifted back in the bed, exhaling through his mouth. Already his nostrils were full again. This cold really was no joke.

“Bless you, Nathan.”

The voice of the doctor from earlier came crackling through the speaker.

Embarrassment instantly flooded through him. They’d probably never seen someone make such a mess of themselves. Was it supposed to be like this? Had they infected him with some sort of super-soaker cold?

“Err, thadkgs.” He croaked back, voice utterly shot.

To make matters worse, the combination of the sneeziest, messiest bug he’d ever had plus the humiliation of being watched as it took merciless liberties on him, had him steadily growing hard again beneath the covers. His balls were beginning to ache. It was getting to the point he was gonna have to throw his hands to the wind and take care of things, no matter who was listening.

“I’m going to conduct the evening examination now, Nathan.”

Shit. What time was it? Had it reached five already?

Sure enough, the clock on his bedside table read 5pm. Great. Even worse, the need to sneeze was once again building its way through him. It was like the tide, sweeping in and out, tickling against the sand. Slow at first and then suddenly you realised it was High Tide and you had no way of getting back to shore.

The door creaked open. In walked the scientist, freshly cleaned Hazmat suit covering her every inch.

“How are you feeling, Nathan?” she said brightly, taking a seat on his bed.

He cleared throat, pushing his glasses up, “Dnot great, I’ll be honest.”

“Could you describe your symptoms for me?”

“Yeh, I uhh–HUHH, h-hold on.”

“Go ahead,” she said gently.

“AHH’HUUH-tschuhh!” He sneezed into his bare, cupped hands. Realising after the warm mess blasted into them that this was probably a poor choice.

“Umbb, sorry,” he stammered, trying to be as subtle as he could as he wiped his hands on the bundle of used tissues beside him.

“No need to apologise. You were saying?” she prompted.

“Right. I guess umm, I’m completely stuffed up, tired, achy, headachey a-aH….and I’m c-constantly nee-HHUHH…. Needing to—EHHHH—-hh’EHHH-HDSSGT’chuh!”

This time he hadn’t been so quick with his hands and he raised a wrist haphazardly as the sneeze was already halfway out of him. The glow of the evening sun caught on the heavy droplets as they misted the air. 

He snorted thickly, face flushing with embarrassment, “Is this…normal… for this cold? I feel like it’s come on fast.”

The scientist hesitated, pen pausing in her notetaking.

“To be honest with you Nathan, we wouldn’t expect this frequency of symptoms until at least day two. We’re currently working to understand why in your case it seems to have hit you especially hard. Oh, bless you.”

Nathan broke off to sneeze again. This time into a tissue cupped across his face. This cold truly seemed insatiable.

The scientist continued, “It could be that your immune system is functioning less effectively, but we did conduct significant research into your immuno-history before this experiment….We may also have exposed you to a greater quantity of viral particles.”

“Oh, okay.”

She smiled at him, “Rest assured, we will keep you updated. Now, today’s examination is going to be a little different, an experiment around your sneezing.”

Brilliant.

“Umm okay, what do you need me to do?” Nathan said, sniffling against a knuckled finger. His nose was starting to get raw from him constantly needing to fuss at it.

“We’re going to test your ability to stifle a sneeze. Previous participants have found that the particular strain we have infected you with makes this especially challenging to do so.”

Nathan thought about the drenching, overwhelming nature of his current sneezes, so uncharacteristic from his usual, unnoteworthy things.

“Right.”

The scientist reached into her pocket, a long, thin utensil was drawn out

“I’m going to insert this implement into your nostril to simulate a response. Then I would like you to do your best to stifle the resulting sneeze for me, okay? We will do 2 rounds of this on both nostrils. Any questions?”

Seemed straightforward enough. In principle. In reality though, Nathan’s nose was already buzzing with a heady desire for release. Trapping all that congestion and need inside?...Could he do it?

But no, he wanted to prove to her that he wasn’t some fucking mess. She’d seen all of his disgusting displays throughout the day. He was gonna show her that he was better at this bit than anyone else.

“I understand,” he said.

“Excellent, let’s begin.”

The scientist shifted closer, the fine implement grasped between her thickly gloved fingers. Nathan’s nose was running, he needed to blow it, but her hand was already raising to his face and it didn’t feel like the right time.

There was a distant warning buzzing at the back of his sinuses- taunting, daring. 

“I’m going to insert it into your left nostril now.” she said, reaching upwards.

As soon as the feathery, cool material hit the inside of his inflamed nasal passageway, Nathan knew he was done for. The tickle was unbearable. His nose twitched upwards aggressively, as if trying to escape the thing twirling in small motions inside of him.

His chest hitched violently, the scientist's hazmat suit fading into a swirl of yellow as his vision blurred. 

Fuck he needed to….he was gonna—

“HU—EHHH–hhh…  HAAHH!!”

Stifle. He needed to stifle. But the urge to sneeze swelled inside him like a tidal wave. It smashed against the barriers, begging to push through.

Then with a tantalising swivel, the implement was drawn out of his nose, scraping against the hairs as it went.

“HHUU–uhh’ETTTGNNxx–uhh!” Nathan managed to stifle, but just barely, gritting his teeth together with the effort. His cold was not happy, the congestion flooded his nostrils like tar, there was nothing he could do to keep it inside. 

“H-hold on.” he gasped, shielding his wrecked face as he fumbled for a tissue.

He blew his nose, a miserable, gushing sound, followed by a loud snort as he turned to face her again.

She was scribbling something onto the clipboard.

“Okay, on to the next one.” she said, reaching back out again. 

In it went, almost illegally teasing against the sensitive skin of his nostrils. His nose was unhappy, it buzzed and quivered with a need to release its contents. And he wanted to, God, he wanted to. 

The sensation built and built, climbing towards its peak. Before suddenly, as the implement was removed once more, rushing over the edge.

“HUUH-HA’’’AETGNXX!” Again, against the odds, he forced the powerful sensation into a stifle, the force of it shaking his body. His nose ached, his head pounding from the pressure. Wet congestion was seeping against the hands pressed to his face.

He’d managed two stifles. Nathan sincerely doubted he had another one in him.

The scientist was so completely clinical about a procedure which, for Nathan, was something out of a wet dream fantasy. Somehow her strict professionalism made the experience even more arousing. 

2 more to go. He wasn’t sure if he’d make it.

“Are you ready for the other nostril?” she asked politely.

“Y-yes.”

Again it slipped inside, pushing through the snot filling his nose to tickle against the sensitive skin. The need to sneeze was loud and angry now, pulsing across his sinuses, making his eyes roll back in his head.

HE–HHU-uhEEhh….”

His breath shivered, desperate, hitching moans slipping between his parted lips.

He needed to stifle but he couldn’t. He….He……

“I’m…gonn-AHH’ HUH’uhEEIISSSCHOO!!” The sneeze came hurtling out of him before she’d even had time to remove her hand. The contents of his nose were blasted on to her gloved hand, no doubt warm even through the plastic.

He panted from the aftermath, eyes flicking up to hers slowly, grimacing when he saw what he’d done.

“Ughh… sorry, I tried…”

“That’s quite alright, Nathan. I’m intentionally making you sneeze, it’s perfectly normal to do so.”

He swallowed thickly, rubbing his nose into the shoulder of his shirt to wipe away the excess moisture.

“Yeh, okay.”

“One last time.” she said cheerily, reaching forwards again.

His nose was angry from all the irritation, from the itchy, terrible cold flooding through him and now this external simulation. Nathan had a terrible sinking feeling that it wasn’t going to be able to hold back much longer. The dam was going to break.

“H—IIHH–HUHHH…” he gasped once more, loud and needy, as the tool once again wiggled inside him. He’d completely given up on stifling, it was impossible. All he needed, all he could think about was the desire to get every last droplet of this cold out of his system.

His nose was more than happy to oblige.

With one final twizzle of the feather-light tool, the need surged up through him and plunged over the dam.

“H’’’AHTIISSHH’’CHUH….H–EHH…EH’TTIISHIEWWW…H’HAPTTtISS’’’SHOO!!” The sneezes flew out of him, powerful and merciless. Drenching the fabric of his t-shirt, shooting up beyond the gloves of the scientist to her yellow sleeves. What the hell was this cold? He’d never had something take over him so completely.

Nathan shook his head to try and clear the lingering, itchy sensation. His cheeks flamed from his miserable display. So much for showing he was better- his germ-infested mess was fucking everywhere.

“Jesus…snddff… I’m sorry.” He choked out, reaching for a tissue to hide his face behind. He blew deeply, the sound ringing out in the silent room for a good few seconds. 

The scientist’s hand was on his knee. Fuck, she probably thought he was such a loser. I mean, who loses control of themselves like that?

“Nathan,” she said gently, “I understand this is certainly an uncomfortable situation for you, but there’s absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You’re doing great.”

Shit. Well that went directly to his dick.

“Uhh, okay, thanks. I guess I’ve never been sick like this before.”

She frowned, “We’ll keep looking into that, some strands are just more potent for some people but this does some rather pronounced.”

“Ssnndgggff…guhh… yeh.”

She rose from the bed slowly, “Alright then, thank you for your help today. It’s been very insightful. Get some rest.”

“Okay.”

He watched as she slipped from the room, cursing himself as he realised he forgot to ask for another box of tissues. After that little performance he’d already made a significant dent into the second box.

And it was only day 1, he kept reminding himself. Did that mean this thing was going to get worse?

As he lay there, thinking about the germs working through his system, the urge for release that hung around his nose no matter what he did, the soft, praising way the scientist spoke to him…Fuck it.

He was gonna have a wank in that bathroom if it was the last thing he did.

[messysneeze]

MESS WARNING!!!!!

So I am horrendously under the weather right now, and I’ve not been sneezy at all but I’ve been congested as all get out, and I figured I’d see if I could, ya know, help things along. So this one goes out to my fellow gross peeps who are into the whole ‘honey you look like a biohazard’ schtick. If anyone wants to send some well wishes, please do 🥺🤒

[messysneeze]

ive been obsessed with the idea of a nose being visibly full, but not quite to the point of running.

[messysneeze]

more of that apothecary character from the sex pollen comic, who has a name now (julli)

[messysneeze]

One thing I find irresistibly hot is when someone sneezes and then immediately sniffles, so quickly it's almost part of the sneeze itself. Like "aaaISSHHHuh-snfff!" It adds so much desperation to the sound, like they're trying so hard to keep the mess inside their nose, but it's so runny. 🥵

Even better when the sniffle itself triggers the need to sneeze again, so they're caught in a relentless fit, which of course makes their nose runnier and runnier, which makes them sniffle harder, which makes the itch worse, which makes them sneeze again, which... 🥺🥰

[messysneeze]

One of the strangest regular fantasies I have revolves around the character of the Unpleasant Little Man.

He's middle aged, short, has a belly, and he wears thick glasses. He's some sort of a bureaucrat - not exactly a powerful one, but he does get to lord over a team of office clerks or such, a typist or scribe or few, maybe clients, whatever it is he's very diligent about making everyone else's day a little bit worse. And if he only can, considerably so.

He's very conscious about the tiny power he wields and wants it aknowledged. He's not only inflexible but positively revels in it. While he's usually sullen (in a pompous way that tries and fails to emulate gravity), finding out he can't help someone will light up his face with a rare, contented smile. And he has horrific allergies.

Perhaps year round allergies, or perhaps during winter months they take back seat to back-to-back colds. His nose is always running like a tap, he's constantly sniffling and snuffling, sighing and groaning, blowing his red snotty nose into a handkerchief with a loud, revolting gurgle. No-one in the office has ever heard him pronounce a clear N or M.

He always sneezes at least 5 times in a row, sometimes 15, sometimes more. They are not rapid fits, he usually has time to gasp in a breath between the sneezes, though not always. Wet, itchy, surprisingly heavy, wildly spraying sneezes, and each delivered like an accusation. How dare you idiots be breathing through your noses! And no matter how he keeps wiping his glasses, they are always dim with sneeze spray.

He's always talking about it too, giving distasteful detail about how badly his nose is running today, how stuffy his head is, the state of his handkerchiefs. Starting a meeting, looking so stern it scares those working under him, with an angry complaint: "I sneezed 27 times this morning upon waking up! Twedty-seved!" Like he was blaming anyone and everyone who is forced to listen, lest they lose their jobs, or any chance of getting any permit or certificate or whatever a client is hoping to get from him.

A client or an underling who has just moved there from a faraway place, experiencing allergies for the first time in their life. His watery eye would light up with malicious glee, a chuckle (somehow sounding snotty), a thick sniffle, "Well, welcobe to hell! Eh-Ettssschuuh! Ettsssschuuh!"

When he has a cold, and he does catch so many, his desk will be constantly filled with handkerchiefs, teas, little boxes of coughdrops etc. Sneezing perhaps not as many times in a row but at least as often, and with absolute, unsanitary abandon, really the world better stop while he has to sneeze, and if you can, try to take cover. Though if upon recovery he would notice that someone has done something so disrespectful, he would be sure to see they can't repeat that mistake next time their superior sneezes.

He doesn't purposely infect others, but doesn't make any effort to not to spread his colds, and he always comes to work sick and requires everyone else to do so unless they're fit to be hospitalised. Well if someone is running a very obvious fever he will ask them to his desk, ask about their symptoms, give them some patronising comments about not neglecting their health, and sends them home. If he has temperature himself - he seldom gets it - he will wilt, and say with a heartbroken voice that he might have fever, oh damn this cold, someone needs to try his forehead.

(yes, writing this I realise there has to be a dommy mommy. A tall big tiddy dommy mommy, his face is barely on the level of her tits. He doesn't know that others do actually notice how he's often standing on his toes while talking with her, in his perfectly polished little office shoes. She has a honey soft voice, a smile that's simultaneously mocking and indulgent, red lipstic that leaves an obvious mark, and a soft spot if unpleasant, sneezy little men, especially when they are a little bit knocked off balance)

And when someone inevitably does come down with his cold, he will comment, again with an ill-tempered smile: "Oh so-and-so, sounds like you're coming down with a cold, hope it's not a too nasty one! Attschoo! Attschuu!" And so on.

Needless to say, during the cold season he runs by far the sickliest office in the county/kingdom/whatever.

[messysneeze]

someone coming down with a cold in the nose. it's tickly and runny and prickly and blocked and they just can't stop sneezing.

not going to work is simply out of the question, and they must attend to all their duties. they do them dripping into a handkerchief or a series of tissues, with big wet sniffs and a lot of sneezes.

a cold in the nose develops into a cold in the head. their head is fuzzy and they can't quite think clearly. their ears are blocked, and their voice becomes deeper, hoarse and husky. their mouth hangs open, and their still-constant sneezes turn from explosions of spray into expulsions of persistent, gluey snot.

the cold in the head develops into a cold in the head and chest, and a thick, productive cough that rattles their chest and leaves them feeling battered, like their lungs are lined with frost and filling with snot. the sinus infection that had been brewing kicks in full force; the mess is endless and miserable. they are breathing completely through their mouth, but snot bubbles form in their hypersensitive, deep red nostrils and slide down their red philtrum to their panting, open mouth. still, they are dragging themselves to work.

the cold in the head and chest develops into a cold in their entire body. they're exhausted and achy and shivery. their sneezes have endless thick snot but are also exploding in clouds of spray again. their fever-glassy eyes try to close, but they force them back open. they just want to lie down and go to sleep, and it's getting more tempting by the minute.

[messysneeze]

A commission for @shamefilledsnzblog! Her wonderfully, terribly itchy OC Perry with an incredibly messy cold heehee

Thank you for the commission, he was extremely fun to draw!