minayrd

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Hey kid you want a job?

Great get online and go to a job board. Indeed, Linkedin whatever. Now you're gonna search for a role that's in your city, fits your qualifications, and doesn't seem like a bad time.

See that easy apply button? Don't hit it they just throw those in the trash. Now you're gonna want to go to the company's website and check their careers page.

Oh? That job doesn't exist anymore. Cool go back to the job board and find another one.

Great you found another job, you're on the company's career page and the job exists!! So you're going to need to make an account on the career page website. They're using Workday, the same site as the last job you applied for? Who cares? You need to make another account for THIS job's workday page.

Now you're going to upload your resume. That'll autopopulate about 15 boxes with everything on your resume, except formatted wrong and with tons of errors. So just go through and painstakingly check the dates on all of that and rewrite everything you already laid out in an aesthetically pleasing format on your resume.

Ok time for the cover letter, explain why this specific job and company are deeply important to you. You love their mission statement and wouldn't even laugh if their ceo was gunned down in the street. You'll really want to reiterate the things you just spent the last 20 minutes filling out on the resume section

(Remember to include language from the job description, people who work in HR are lower than dogs and they need patterns or they get confused.) Write about a page, but hey don't sound too desperate or robotic this is where they judge your character!

Maybe add your portfolio site at the end here, who knows if that helps no one has ever clicked mine haha.

Anywayyy time to hit apply! Congrats! You'll see that confirmation email come in and you should be getting the rejection letter in about 2 weeks. Unfortunately your resume didn't have the right buzzwords and the AI auto rejected you :(

Time to start again and try not to kill yourself!

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Trapped Family in Gaza Appeals for Help to Survive🥹🍉

Hello, I am Asmaa - a young soul with a heart full of flexibility and a spirit that does not back down in the face of challenges.🙏🙏🇵🇸🇵🇸🍉🍉

Suffering in obtaining food and how to prepare food in light of the lack of the most basic necessities of life🙏🙏😭😭🇵🇸🇵🇸🍉🍉

The suffering of displacement and living in tents after the destruction of the house, my father losing his job, and the difficulty of life in tents, as if living in a heat oven.😭😭🙏🙏🍉🍉

Destroying all features of life in Gaza and destroying the university is a loss of passion in achieving my dream😭😭🙏🙏🍉🍉🇵🇸🇵🇸

I ask you to help donate, spread the campaign link, and support the page in order to identify life’s difficulties and provide the simplest things of daily life, such as eating and drinking

@sayruq @el-shab-hussein @90-ghost @nabulsi

@sar-soor @appsa @northgazaupdates2 @aria-ashryver @timetravellingkitty @briarhips

@dirhwangdaseul @mahoushojoe @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @khanger

@commissions4aid-international @kibumkim @wellwaterhysteria @deepspaceboytoy @neechees @kyri45 @mangocheesecakes @marnota @7biases @tortiefrancis @fromjannah

@criptochecca @omegaversereloaded @ot3

@vague-humanoid @lacecap @yugiohz @nibeul

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"Limes," says Jude, looking up at him and shielding his eyes against the sun.

“Right, he says, and bends down, takes Jude's sunglasses off him, kisses him on his eyelids, and replaces his glasses. Summer, JB has always said, is Jude's season: his skin darkens and his hair lightens to almost the same shade, making his eyes turn an unnatural green, and Willem has to keep himself from touching him too much. "I'll be back in a little while."

A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

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whether neil left today or tomorrow or next week, he’d leave alone. two, five, ten years from now, if neil was even still alive, he’d still be alone. he could be anyone, anywhere in the world, but he’d be alone until the day he died. he’d never trust anyone enough to let them in.

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hey so ik i basically abandoned this app for like three years but where are all the editors now,,? do they still exist

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“ …and now there wasn’t a damn place in the ocean that wouldn’t catch fire if he dropped a match. ”

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the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

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“nobody wants to work anymore” and then you get autorejected by the AI reading your resume before it ever reaches a human because it doesn’t contain the right buzzword. “nobody wants to work anymore” and you have to submit a cover letter but you get instantly rejected anyway for answering a question the wrong way. no they won’t tell you what the right way is. “nobody wants to work anymore” but companies are posting fake job postings to look like they’re growing to impress investors. “nobody wants to work anymore” but you get ghosted only to be rejected six months later by an automated email. “nobody wants to work anymore” I hope you are ejected into the void of space

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This too shall pass but like holy fuck

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WHY ARE YOU LONELY: A TEXT GAME - Mallory Ortberg

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: CHOOSE ONE

FAILED TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS BORN OUT OF CONVENIENCE ONCE CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRED ACTIVE PARTICIPATION FROM YOU

WATCHED NETFLIX FOR SEVEN HOURS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST

CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS

ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED “EMPATHY” FOR “TAKING RESPONSIBILITY” AND INVITED OTHERS TO UNLOAD THEIR EMOTIONAL BURDENS ON YOU WITHOUT FIRST ENSURING RECIPROCITY, WHOOPS

ANTICIPATORILY BLAMED OTHER PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING YOU WITHOUT ONCE ASKING YOURSELF WHY YOU CAN’T CALL THEM

ASSUMING ANY TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU HAD TO INITIATE IS SOMEHOW LESS AUTHENTIC THAN REQUESTS FOR TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU ACCEPT

BELIEVE “PERIODICALLY EXPERIENCING THE HUMAN CONDITION” MEANS SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN WITHIN YOU

CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THEN WONDER WHY YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS YOU

MISTAKENLY BELIEVE THAT NEGATIVE FEELINGS MUST BE MISTAKES EITHER TO BE AVOIDED OR FIXED RATHER THAN EXPERIENCED

DESIRE TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT THE CONCOMITANT WILLINGNESS TO FULLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF

BELIEVE TRYING AT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SHOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PERFECTION AND FIND YOURSELF HORRIFIED AND ASHAMED OF MAKING REALISTIC PROGRESS

TRY COCONUT OIL

CONVINCED THAT HONESTLY ADMITTING YOUR PROBLEMS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES COMPLAINING SO INSTEAD YOU OFFER EVERYONE A PISS-POOR SIMULACRUM OF BEING EASY-GOING

STILL JUST WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING YOUR DESIRES ALOUD

THINK YOU’RE BEING PLAYFUL BUT ACTUALLY YOU JUST GET MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK

SPEND ALL YOUR TIME SAYING THINGS LIKE “EITHER’S GOOD” OR “DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” WHEN IN FACT ONLY ONE THING IS GOOD AND IT DOES MATTER TO YOU BUT YOU THINK “NOT EXPRESSING A PREFERENCE” IS THE BEST PERSONALITY TRAIT YOU HAVE TO OFFER OTHERS

PEOPLE ACTUALLY MORE AWARE OF YOUR BARELY-CONCEALED CONTEMPT FOR THEIR CHOICES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE

NO GOOD REASON, SORRY

Mallory Ortberg plz stop laying my psyche bare for the world to see

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Notes: Just like students now, you'd be graded, and you'd have homework and tests. However, you'd also get to choose your major and have all the seasonal breaks students currently have. Summer is unpaid unless you enroll in optional summer classes.

If you don't mind, please also include in the tags whether you are or aren't neurodivergent.

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— Georgia O'Keeffe

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btw dating sucks as a concept.

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i may not be gods strongest warrior but there is all sorts of bullshit that he makes me deal with and i hndle it not very well usually

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— Virginia Woolf

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— Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous