mindfulpathways

[mindfulpathways]

Balancing Parenthood and Personal Growth: A Journey Through Procrastination, Coaching, and Healing

Balancing the demands of parenthood with the pursuit of personal growth can feel overwhelming. This is my story of grappling with procrastination, navigating coaching experiences, and embarking on a journey of healing and self-improvement.

Struggles with Procrastination:

There are times when I find myself entangled in the web of AI tools for my Shopify store, completely losing track of time and neglecting essential activities like eating. This obsession often leaves me unproductive and frustrated. For example, I can spend hours engrossed in these tools, only to realize later that I haven't accomplished anything significant. This cycle of unproductivity fuels my feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

Despite having access to numerous resources and courses, I struggle to maintain focus. Today, it’s already afternoon, and I need to pick up my children. Although I've done some tasks, the critical business goals remain unmet. This ongoing battle with productivity exacerbates my self-doubt, making it hard to break free from the cycle.

Navigating Parenting Challenges:

Being a parent adds another layer of complexity to my daily struggles. The guilt of not dedicating enough quality time to my kids is ever-present. My daughter, for instance, suffers from severe separation anxiety, stemming from past threats made by her mother. Each day, she waits by the door, anxious and fearful, underscoring the impact of our tumultuous past on her sense of security.

Balancing parental duties with personal ambitions is no easy feat. Often, I find myself neglecting basic needs or responsibilities due to my focus on work, which in turn makes me question my effectiveness as a parent. The constant worry about my children's well-being and my ability to provide a stable environment is a heavy burden to bear.

Coaching and Personal Growth:

The path to personal growth has been marked by my interactions with various coaches, each offering different insights and challenges. One coach’s overly warm demeanor left me questioning her authenticity, while another’s confident, almost aloof approach made me feel I needed to prove my commitment.

These coaching experiences have been a double-edged sword. While they have provided valuable guidance, they have also highlighted my insecurities and lack of direction. The questions posed by a Tony Robbins coach, for example, forced me to confront the harsh reality of my fears—failing to pursue my goals could lead to deep regret and self-loathing.

Healing from Trauma:

My journey is deeply intertwined with overcoming past traumas. I am proud to have maintained sobriety from crystal meth since 2008, yet I continue to grapple with other compulsive behaviors. Techniques such as somatic experiencing, developed by Peter Levine, have been crucial in my healing process, helping me build confidence and process lingering traumas.

Recovery is ongoing and challenging. Despite my progress, financial worries and fears of failing to secure a stable future persist. ADHD complicates matters, as I often forget important tasks, adding to my anxiety. Nonetheless, the pursuit of somatic healing has given me a renewed sense of hope and direction.

Financial Anxiety and Future Planning:

Financial stability remains a significant concern. My $35,000 savings are dwindling, consumed by living expenses and efforts to create meaningful content. The fear of not completing a $7,000 e-commerce program haunts me, as does the daunting task of selecting product suppliers for my business. Why do I skip checking out the next possible program? Sigh

Building a sustainable business feels like a monumental task fraught with financial risks. The anxiety over potentially exhausting my resources and the constant pressure of financial management weigh heavily on me. The added challenge of dealing with ADHD, which often leads to forgetfulness, exacerbates these fears and stresses. Just another steam of consciousness