miraisstillalive

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Diaries, Notes and Sketches (1968) dir. Jonas Mekas

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from The Journals of Sylvia Plath

[txt: I am part man, and I notice women’s breasts and thighs with the calculation of a man choosing a mistress… but that is the artist and the analytical attitude towards the female body… for I am more a woman; even as I long for full breasts and a beautiful body so do I abhor the sensuousness which they bring… I desire the things which will destroy me in the end…]

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blonde wig Asia Argento in The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)

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Jacques Rivette's women - Duelle (1976)

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wine and flowers and unwashed plates and the red top I never wear

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“I am both worse and better than you thought.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath

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kieślowski’s film posters

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honestly the things people do for people they like are craaaaazy. just think of what u were willing to do for someone u had a major crush on. if they’re not going out of their way they’re just not that into u i fear

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Gripping my bathroom sink repeating I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone

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my experience of academia is just switching between being convinced I'm the smartest person to ever grace the hallways with their presence and feeling like I'm so incompetent I should probably drop out in perpetuity

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I wish to master the art of living.

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liminal spaces 18/01/24

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I wish to be a different person by the end of this year. Happier. Less anxious. More confident in myself. Less doubtful of my abilities. Someone who doesn't run away from discomfort. Someone who gets out more. Someone who smiles a lot. Someone who listens well. Both to herself and others. Someone open but with firm boundaries. Someone who doesn't waste time on things she doesn't enjoy. Someone with intention. Someone who finds joy in the action rather than always fastforwarding to the result. Someone who doesn't overthink herself into inaction. Someone who has mastered the art of living.

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inside me are two wolves:

one is severely sleep deprived and the other one uses concealer five shades too light

(Barbie in the Pink Shoes)