. Marine. 23 y.o. 05/03/1990. Y. Fille stupide. Biology student at ENS Lyon. France. . Dinosaurs, Arthurian legend, robots, cosmos. Ender's Cycle, The Gambler, Kafka on the Shore, A Song of Ice and Fire, Harry Potter (as everybody). . I kinda worship the work of Carl Sagan, Tim Burton, Wong Kar-Wai, BENJAMIN and Haruki Murakami (and too much actors and musicians). . "I'm running toward nothing again and again and again and again and AGAIN." Rex Quondam, Rexque Futurus. Touitteur Listography
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I never found myself pretty, I never liked my face, my body, my small breasts, I always hated my nose.
I think it all got worse with the onset of ulcerative colitis. Now, I know how disgusting and repulsive I am inside and I don’t think I could possibly like what I am one day.
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Hello deserted tumblr
Me again after two years, same shit. After one year of PhD studies, science is still frustrating, exhausting, full of 12h working days. I’m kinda desperate about all of this.
And then I just remember how disappointed I would be if I decided to give up everything. And how proud I would be to defend my PhD after this long, painful, psychologically hard path I have chosen. So I keep going, but it is fucking hard. This bloody PhD is the toughest thing I’ve ever done.
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I applied for a PhD funding and I got one. The problem is: I don’t even know if I still want to do a PhD. I am working all alone, my supervisor is incredibly incompetent and I am always afraid of making mistakes because I have not be well trained/supervised. I am constantly stressed, thinking about the lab. I am thinking about my health. I know too well how bad stress is for my gut and for the inflammatory process. I don’t want to be psychologically destroyed at the end of those 3 years. I don’t want to exacerbate my disease. But I also don’t want to disappoint my dad. The other day, he told me: “I will surely take a day off to attend your thesis defense !” I don’t want to disappoint my family, but most of all, I don’t want to disappoint myself.
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Saturday’s program: waking up early, having à blood test, going to the pharmacy and calling for an entero-MRI. I am so tired of this shit.
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going to you (2012)
personal work ,digital painting, photoshop
illustration by gobugi
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Art history meme. 1/1 quotes
"The sun is god." — J.M.W. Turner, alleged dying words
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I am currently the happiest girl in the world. Everything's fine.
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"Je n’en savais rien. C’était peut-être du désespoir. Tourgueniev aurait peut-être appelé ça la désillusion, Dostoïevski l’aurait appelé enfer, Et Sommerset Maugham la réalité. Mais quel que soit le nom qu’on lui donne, c’était « moi-même »."
Haruki Murakami - La Fin des Temps.
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