mossing-around

[mossing-around]

Damian, presenting a shiny object: I believe this should cover it, father.

Bruce: Cover what?

Damian: A hug. I wish to have one. I have brought payment. I understand that Grayson does not require this transaction for hugs, but as the head of the household, I assume yours come with fees?

Bruce: ... I am going to murder your grandfather.

[mossing-around]

conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 12 (league days 3) masterpost here

Dick: ok do another one, do another one.

Damian: *grunt* *the sound of fists hitting faces* i just did one- *yelp* aren't you guys taking down a cartel tonight?!

Tim: yeah but we're just waiting around for things to kick off right now, come on, give us another one.

Damian: god- fine, hold on. *the metal shlink of a katana being unsheathed*

Jason: *snorts*

Tim: he's so nice to us...

*distant screams*

Dick: you are so, so lucky that B's on bed rest tonight Robin. so lucky.

Damian, strained: yeah, well, tonight i'm not Batman's Robin, i'm Red Hood's, and Red Hood's Robin gets shit done faster.

Jason: atta-fuckin'-boy. i found the files in the back room by the way, just let me know if you need help.

*a scream* *a metal shlink*

Jason: although you sound to be doing fine.

Damian: *sigh* alright done. ok... it's loading a card.

Tim: i swear to god, i'm going to fucking ace this one.

Dick: yeah, well you said that last round.

Tim: I MEAN IT THIS TIME.

Jason: *snickers*

Damian: alright. ready?

Dick: bring it on, kiddo.

Damian: 'apart from my father, there is one other member of the bat-community that i am biologically related to. that person... is Duke Thomas.'

Jason: oh this is gonna be awesome

Dick: *sputters* S O R R Y?

Damian: *sigh* well i suppose that's one way for it to come out.

Tim: there is NO GODDAMN WAY- HE'S BLACK.

Damian: and i'm white? don't be racist, Red Robin.

Tim: I JUST MEAN- there is no goddamn way. absolutely not. this is a nay, it's a lie. we'd know.

Damian: fine. is that your final answer?

*silence*

Tim: ...for the sake of the game. explain.

Dick: *laughs* *deliriously* this is ridiculous...

Damian: ...so... as you all know... Duke's mother is Elaine Thomas and his step-father is Doug Thomas, while his biological father was the criminal known as Gnomon.

Tim, begrudging: mhm.

Damian: but what was kept hidden from you is that shortly before Duke was born, Gnomon was an associate of the league of assassins, and was a close associate of my grandfather.

Tim: ok there is no goddamn way- why would Ra's care about Gnomon?!

Damian: how small-minded are you, Drake? Gnomon is an immortal entity, hundreds, perhaps thousands of years old. are you stupid enough to believe that my immortality obsessed grandfather couldn't have met Gnomon at some point in his life and decided to keep in contact so he could combine their knowledge for his own gain at some point in the future?

Dick: ...alright shit he has a point.

Tim: NO HE FUCKING DOESN'T? HOW DOES GNOMON BEING FRIENDS WITH RA'S EXPLAIN HIM AND DUKE BEING RELATED?

Damian: well-, oh, shit. There are more men approaching the warehouse, Hood.

Jason, gleeful: nah nah, you stay inside and keep answering questions, i got this.

*gunshots* *distant yells and screams of pain*

Damian: eight o'clock, sniper.

Jason: got it, now focus on the game.

Dick: beautiful priorities. Robin, carry on.

Damian: *sigh* fine, what is the next question?

Dick: how does Ra's and Gnomon's friendship explain your relation to Signal?

Damian: ah. well, you are aware that i was originally created to be a potential new vessel for my grandfather?

Jason: *grunt* *snorts* yeah, until you started info-dumping about parrot species and he decided he wasn't gonna touch that brain with a ten foot pole.

Damian: shut up, i thought you weren't allowed to partake in the game? ANYWAY, you all know that i was originally just a vessel, and thus i was modified in the loa labs to enhance my abilities,

Tim: UHM-?

Dick: woah woah woah woah- NO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A LAB CHILD?

Damian: ....oh you didn't? that's not even a part of the game, i thought you knew that.

Tim and Dick, simultaneously: WHAT?!!??!

Jason: ??? yeah, guys, he got pit-dipped at one point and everything. i used to sit with him on the operating table after experiments and read him books. Ra's used me for some of those experiments too so it was kinda like sharing a room.

Dick: DOES BRUCE KNOW-

Damian: well i fucking thought he did but if you're all gonna be dramatic about it then i don't want to check...

Dick: DRAMATIC? DAMIAN, WE NEED TO-

Tim: Dick shut the fuck up a minute,

Dick: eh?!?

Tim: no- just, you know, it is a big deal and i'm happy to freak out about our little brother being experimented on later tonight, but for now... kinda trying to lock in on this fucking game.

Jason: *wheeze*

Tim: so you were experimented on, go on.

Damian: .........well... part of that experiment included mixing my DNA with that what grandfather believed might make me immortal, and he had asked Gnomon to kindly donate some DNA samples some decades back. so they were incorporated into my genetic make-up, meaning that some of my parental heritage technically belongs to Duke's father, making us biological half-siblings.

Dick, sarcastically: and you just decided never to mention it?

Tim: that's it, call Duke, i don't care if he's asleep-

Jason: ah-ah-ah-! no phone-a-friends!

Damian: -well Hood knew as he was aware of the experiments i went under, and of course i told Duke; apart from that it simply didn't seem relevant.

Tim: didn't seem relevant.

Dick: and Duke didn't think it was relevant either?!

Damian: ...to be honest, i don't think my brother wanted to start up another bout of batfamily drama. especially not one he was centric too. he found it funnier to keep it under wraps and watch from the side-lines.

*silence*

Tim: ...fuck that does sound like Duke.

Dick, amused: Tim-

Tim: NO. NO, DICK. BECAUSE THIS KEEPS FUCKING HAPPENING-

Jason: -you guys are on a stakeout, should you be saying his name so loud-?

Tim: AND THE CRAZIEST SHIT IS ALWAYS THE SHIT THAT'S TRUE! WE ALWAYS GET IT WRONG AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE.

Dick: ok but listen to him, there is no way that Dames and Duke are-

Tim: OK BUT WE SAID THAT ABOUT THE ALLIGATOR STORY, AND THE ONE IN PARIS, AND THE THING ABOUT THE LAVA-,

Damian: *snorts*

Tim: -AND HE'S FUCKING LAUGHING AT US-

Dick: BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE'S LYING,

Tim: -OR, OR BECAUSE HE'S TELLING THE TRUTH AND HE'S SMUG ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF CHAOS THIS PARTICULAR SECRET IS CAUSING.

Jason: holy fuck is that Black Mask-? uh, ok, wrap this up, me and my Robin for the night got business to attend to.

Damian: very well. final answers, you two. yay or nay?

*silence*

Tim: *screech of despair*

Dick: *cackle* ok, i'm saying nay, there's no way.

Damian: Red Robin?

Tim: .....um.

Tim: FUCK.

Dick, laughing: Tim,

Tim: LAST TIME I THOUGHT ONE OF THESE WAS RIDICULOUS IT WAS THE TRUTH! THE RIDICULOUS ONES ARE ALWAYS YAYS, IT'S RIDICULOUS.

Jason: that word has lost all meaning.

Damian: well?

Tim: fuck. ok i'm saying yay. yay, sure, whatever. it's the truth. give it to me. i'm fine. tell me now.

Jason: *snorts* Robin?

Damian: ...of course it's a nay, why on earth-

*the sound of something smashing against concrete*

Tim: OH- OH OF COURSE- WHY THE FUCK- OBVIOUSLY IT'S A FUCKING LIE, WHO THE FUCK WOULD HAVE BELIEVED THAT OBVIOUS BULLSHIT-

Jason: *wheezing*

Dick: Red, Red calm down- *wheeze*

Tim: HE SAID THAT HE AND FUCKING SIGNAL WERE RELATED, WHY THE FUCK WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN REAL? WHY WOULD ANYBODY- i'm going to fucking kill myself. i can't- i'm going to-

Dick: ok well you may not have to, because you totally gave away our position and i can see like three guns pointed in our- ok fuck DUCK-

*rapid gunshots*

Tim: I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME- FUCK-

Dick: RED SWITCH LINES WE GOTTA FOCUS HERE.

Damian: sucks to suck, Drake. see you two back at the cave.

*two pings*

*silence*

Jason: Black Mask is staring at me from across the street. he sees us, Robin.

*a beat*

Damian: Hood, what are you- are you having a fucking staring contest with him?

Jason: shut up, you're gonna distract me.

Damian: you're wearing a face-covering helmet-

Jason: I SAID SHUT UP I'M WINNING THIS THING.

[mossing-around]

I wonder what Danny thought after he had died? Like, reasonably he wouldn’t come to the conclusion that he’s half dead. Sure he’s dead but he’s still kind of alive so it’s fine.

No, they all would have thought that he was a ghost. But that means that they must have searched for Danny’s body. Sam and Tucker would have been the ones to try the portal but the buttons on the inside. They can’t turn it off.

I wonder how long they thought that Danny’s body was just rotting behind the portal or floating somewhere in the ghost zone. And what did they think when he turned back?

Was he possessing his own body? Is that why they couldn’t find it? Or is he just shape shifting subconsciously?

Also, how the hell did they come to the conclusion he’s half ghost. In what world does that make sense? Oh yeah don’t worry guys I think I only kind of died. Half died. Like, what?

[mossing-around]

Batman gets home after a long day of patrol to find one of his newest enemies, the murderous crime lord Red Hood, in his personal civilian office. he prepares to fight despite having taken off all of his gear back down in the cave, only for Red Hood to see him in the doorway and without hesitation, he takes off his helmet.

Jason Todd stares at him from across the desk, tears and snot streaming down his face, and Bruce freezes.

“I don’t know how to hook up the new dryer i bought for my apartment and now my landlord is asking for bank statements to prove i can pay rent and my wifi keeps fucking up and I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT WATER PRESSURE IS,” Jason wails, distraught and sobbing harder than Bruce has ever seen before. he fumbles, jaw dropping, as Jason swipes at his eyes, sniffing. “THIS ISN’T FAIR,” he cries wetly. “I DIED BEFORE I LEARNT ABOUT TAXES, WHAT THE FUCK IS A STOCKS ISA??!”

Bruce bites his lip, deciding to not show his slight amusement. “Oh, chum,” he empathises.

“THIS IS SO FUCKED UP.”

“I know, I know,” he soothes, holding his hands up in submission and carefully moving forward so he could place them comfortingly on Jason’s shoulder. did he know what was going on? absolutely the fuck not. was he going to question it and scare away his apparently-not-dead-son? absolutely the fuck not. “How about some warm milk and cookies, and then you can show me the files that confuse you?”

Jason sniffs. “…and then the dryer?”

“I can hook up your dryer, chum.”

“……I’m not gonna stop being a crime lord,” his son warns, shamelessly using Bruce’s sleeve to wipe away the snot dribbling down his lip. Bruce bits his lip again.

“Let’s not worry about that right now. One problem at a time.”

“I also own zero spoons.”

“There’s some in the kitchen you can steal.”

“…thanks, B.”

[mossing-around]

conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 11

Jason: -like i was definitely the nicest kid B had to deal with, like compared to you three freaks-

Dick: you were kinda, yeah. you were very competitive though.

Jason: competitive in the good way though.

Tim: the fuck is the good way?

Jason: like i was- i was competitive about schoolwork and being a good Robin. i just wanted to be a better son than Dick so i pretty much acted like an angel

Dick: it also served to piss me off a lot-,

Jason: -that too, that was also a big motivator, you were annoying and i wanted you to stop coming back home,

Tim: *laughing*

Dick: B 100% used that against us by the way.

Jason: the competitiveness?

Dick: yeah, like, do you remember the cold case competitions?

Jason: *gasp* oh my god yes,

Tim: the what?

Jason: holy shit, so whenever me and Dick argued over something Bruce would bring out an unsolvable cold case and tell us whoever figured out who did it would win whatever argument we were having. just to get us to shut up and go away.

Dick: i was like, twenty years old man. it should not have worked on me as much as it did.

Jason: yeah, no- like i was fully convinced i was gonna solve the JFK assassination at thirteen years old just because you wouldn't let me be player one on the WII.

Tim, still laughing: *incredulous* seriously?!?

Damian: hold on- wait. the JFK assassination? what's that?

Jason: oh my god, again? Damian we have to give you a terrorist attack rundown, this is ridiculous.

Tim: first 9/11, now you don't know about JFK-

Damian: no no, i just... you aren't talking about John Fitzgerald Kennedy, are you?

Tim: well yeah, obviously-,

Dick: so you do know this one-

Damian: that's not a cold case? it was just my uncle

-silence-

Jason, voice shaky: sorry???

Damian: the American leader, John Fitzgerald Kennedy? my Uncle Dusan assassinated him on my grandfather's orders. he used to regale me with the story of his victory when he'd put me to bed.

Dick: *screeching* EXCUSE ME?!

Tim: Dusan Al Ghul used to put you to bed?

Dick: THAT'S what you're taking from that?!

Damian: yes, on occasions when mother wasn't available but he was.

Jason, faintly: holy fucking shit-

Tim: Talia used to put you to bed...?

Damian: well somebody had to? i don't understand how this is hard for you to grasp Drake, how could i be locked in if there was nobody to take me to my cell at the end of the day?

Tim: OH ok-

Dick, still freaking out: what the actual fuck-

Jason: i'm crashing out, i swear to god i'm crashing out-

Tim: -no see THAT makes sense, i thought for a second Talia was actually acting motherly but it's fine it was just a miscommunication-

Damian: is Dusan's kill not publicly known, then?

Dick: PUBLICALLY- no, Damian, literally nobody-

*a pause* *intake of breath*

Dick, whispering: holy shit i solved the cold case.

Jason, incredulous: excuse me?

Dick: I SOLVED IT FIRST-

Jason: WOAH WOAH- NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T, HOLD ON-

Dick: I'M TELLING BRUCE-!

Jason: I'M TELLING BRUCE, THIS IS MY WIN-

Dick: NOT IF I GET TO HIM FIRST-

Jason: DICK FUCK OFF THIS IS MINE-

Dick: FUCK YOU-

*two pings*

*silence*

Damian: ...they're not coming back are they?

Tim: *sigh* nope. wanna go get cinnamon rolls? i've not got much going on through my route.

Damian: i'll meet you at the usual bakery.

Tim: sick.

[mossing-around]

conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 10

Bruce: Robin, Red Robin. ETA on the meeting spot, Red Hood and i are waiting.

Damian: on our way, father.

Tim: yeah we’re like just round the corner- *scuffling noises* *a grunt*-can you fucking cut it out-!

Damian: you are in my way!

Bruce: *sigh* boys…

Tim: no! no, B, you have to tell him to stop shoving into me, you can’t just- Damian knock it off-

Bruce: NO NAMES IN THE MASK!

Jason, slightly muffled: oh for fucks sake-

Bruce: both of you, get here now. clearly we need to have another discussion about the importance of keeping names private.

Damian: i didn’t even do anything, it was Drake that-

-silence-

Damian, solomly: we shall be there soon, father.

-a few minutes later-

Bruce: -not to mention how irresponsible it is to not be paying attention! i know i taught you both better than that.

Jason: *scoffs*

Damian: you didn’t even teach me, Nightwing did.

Tim: *low ‘ooing’ noise* B you gotta spank him, you gonna let him talk back like that?

Damian: shut up, Red Robin.

Bruce: and do you understand how disappointed Nightwing would be with you tonight, Robin? because he sure as hell wouldn’t exactly be proud.

-silence-

Tim, softly: well shit

Jason, incredulous: ok no hold on, usually i let you parent however you want because frankly it’s not my fucking problem, but i actually grew up with Dick and you and i both know he doesn’t give a shit about the no-name rule,

Bruce, instantly: Red Hood go away.

Jason: -one time i accidentally called Batgirl ‘Barb’ during a mission and B made us stay behind so he could give me a chewing out about it, and like half way through the lecture an uber eats driver pulled up and said ‘order for Dick Grayson?’ and Nightwing fucking- sauntered over and took the food without blinking.

Bruce: that’s irrelevant to-

Jason: there was a night i refused to listen to him as Robin when we were patrolling together so he told me that for every act of disobedience he would give one letter of my name up to the police. i fucked up three times and he told an officer my name started with ‘J-A-Y’ and then when i started laughing at him for not knowing how to spell my name he got embarrassed and yelled in front of the officer ‘WELL I GREW UP IN A CIRCUS, SPELLING WASN’T A HIGH PRIORITY!’

Tim: he didn’t know how to spell Jason?

Jason: another time he-

*ping*

Dick: hey sorry to interrupt patrol- Jason unmute your phone, you aren’t answering your texts.

Bruce, weakly: we are in mask, Nightwing. no names.

Dick, unbothered: shut up B- Jason, seriously, i sent you a video of these pigeons i found fighting mid-air you gotta look at it.

Tim: *snickering*

Dick: why is he laughing. Tim why are you laughing.

Damian: Grayson, would you be disappointed if I accidentally forgot about the no-names-in-masks rule?

Dick: *confused* what? no?

Tim: do you know how to spell our names, Nightwing?

Dick: what are you-

*very muffled bird squawks, flapping of wings*

Jason: oh holy shit this video is kinda cool actually

Dick: RIGHT?!

Tim: woah wait let me see-

Damian: tilt the screen forward Todd, theres a glare.

Dick: you guys gotta come to Bludhaven, the pigeon action is off the charts.

Bruce: *forlorn* my mission used to be a solitary one. i used to work alone.

Damian: at least if you worked alone then nobody would ever have a reason to use your name?

Tim: *cackle*

Jason: i bet you guys i could catch a pigeon. like with my bare hands

Dick: we could do pokemon fights-

Bruce: ok patrol over. everyone go home. this is pointless.

[mossing-around]

on the idea of Jason basically being the guy who raised Damian during their league days, the idea of Jason telling Damian bedtime stories has me in a chokehold.

Like, Jason being the only person Damian allows himself to be scared around, and when they’re alone at night and Damian has nothing but the darkness to comfort him on the knowledge that he spends every waking moment of his life in a league of assassins where existence is pain and he has to be on guard 24/7 just to fight to survive, sometimes he needs a distraction to help him get to sleep.

And well. listen. Jason’s still angry that he wasn’t avenged. his relationship with Dick was strained BEFORE he was killed off, and now he’s mad a Bruce both for leaving his killer alive and for replacing him. but he remembers after his mom died and he was on the streets, scared and alone at night trying to comfort himself with stories to distract from the bitter Gotham cold. back then it was natural to self soothe with stories about his heroes. Batman and Robin filled his nights both in his mind and his memories, thinking back to Dick’s Robin days and how much he adored the magic the mantle brought. and now that he has a little kid to look after? he finds himself falling back on those same stories to share that nostalgic sense of safety.

what i’m saying is that Damian grew up hearing bedtime stories about Robin. not even specifically Dick, or Jason as Robin. just Robin in general. and once he started hearing more about Gotham and the situation he would be in once he went to meet his father, be finally had a face to match with the magical name that lulled him to sleep every time Jason would concoct a tale to tell at bedtime.

Dick’s always been Nightwing to Damian. he met Jason after the pit, when he was different from his Robin days, angrier and bigger and more Red Hood than anything else. but once he heard about Tim?

Tim was the hero Damian fell asleep longing for.

even though Talia keeps telling him that he’ll have to kill Tim to cement his place as father’s heir, there will always be a part of Damian that views Tim as his childhood hero. bringing him a sense of safety from across the world before he even knew Damian existed.

i just think it would be cute if after everything, after all the bitter arguments and attempted murder and overall struggle for any kind of brotherhood to grow between Damian and Tim, there’s a quiet moment between Red Robin and Red Hood, talking about family and how complicated they all are, and it all comes out.

“I mean you almost beat me to death that one time,” Tim points out, swinging his legs off the side of the roof as Jason lounges next to him, helmet off and a cigarette dangling betwixt his teeth. “And look at us now, we get along great. We hang out more than I do with Dick!”

“Maybe it’s because of the murder.” Jason muses half-jokingly. “Like, they say you don’t know if you’re truly straight until you fuck a guy? Maybe you can’t truly realise you like somebody alive until you try to bump em’ off.”

Tim sends him a half amused, half incredulous look, and Jason snorts.

“That theory doesn’t hold up,” He brushes off. “If that were true then the demon brat would be my biggest fan.”

Jason gestures into the air pointedly. “Excuse you, that proves my point perfectly. Dames fuckin’ loves you.”

A dry stare. “We can’t even do small talk without physically fighting.”

Jason laughs. “That’s just because he’s an awkward little shit who doesn’t know how to navigate you after everything he’s done to you. Probably just guilt, cause’ lemme tell you, Replacement, you, have been his favourite since before he even met you.”

And now Tim is just baffled, looking at Jason in confusion as he scoffs, “What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Dude, you’re his Robin. You’re the one I used to tell him about as a kid, tellin’ ‘im bedtime stories about Robin saving little kids like him who were scared of danger lurking in the dark. You were his symbol of hope, n safety n’ shit. He wasn’t even excited about meeting B when he got sent to Gotham; just wanted to see you in person.”

“Oh, so he thought putting me in mortal danger would do that then?”

“Timmers, he grew up with Talia. I was with that asshole for like, a year, and I almost killed you on sight at Titans Tower. You think she didn’t work her manipulative nails into Damian’s skull too?”

and Tim is just… speechless. it would be him learning that he was somebody’s Robin. he knew Dick was Jason’s Robin the same way Jason was his own, and Damian was Dick’s Robin, but Tim? Tim just shoved himself into the lineup and refused to fuck off. He wasn’t anybodys, or so he thought. the idea of Damian viewing him like that? in that special, one-of-a-kind way? the one Damian wanted to see in action, who filled his thoughts at night and became like a metaphorical night light during the scary parts of his childhood?

i just think it would mean a lot to him.

[mossing-around]

Danny Phantom X Hades [crossover]

| more info after & link to my original concept post below |

character design notes: -Danny has half a coin, cause the dead needed a coin to pay for passage into the afterlife. he's half dead so he gets half a coin -Blue icy hands like the game's protogenos, Zagreus' fiery feet -armor inherited from Pariah Dark -gold/bronze armor for Danny for that good opposite color palette

my original concept post

[mossing-around]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 4

Dick: -got a cramp in my leg mid-jump and it was the worst thing i’ve ever experienced in my life.

Jason: *low whistle* i fucking feel you.

Damian: didn’t you watch your parents die in front of you-?

Bruce: Robin, that’s inappropriate to bring up.

Jason: *snort*

Dick: no i stand by what i said. also i swear to god i- oh fuck hold on. *grunt*

*gravel crunching*

Bruce: Nightwing, all ok?

Dick: *professional high energy voice* heya! you need any help over here?

Jason: oh shit he’s talkin to somebody-

Dick: sure! you just go down that street over there and then-

Jason: HEY WHO YA TALKING TO?

Bruce: *disappointed* Hood.

Dick: *slight falter* -uh- and then it’s like two left turns-

Jason: NIGHTWING. HEY NIGHTWING ARE YOU TALKING TO SOMEBODY?

Tim: YEAH WHO YOU TALKING TO? IS IT ANYBODY I KNOW?

Dick: and then- um. fuck it’s like- you go down-

Jason: NIIIIGHTWINGGGGGGGGG

Tim: WINNGGGGGGGG TALK TO UUUUUUS

Bruce: Red Robin, Red Hood, stop it.

Damian: he should have muted father, he deserves this.

Dick: i- *awkward chuckle* sorry, i swear i know where to go. it’s-

Damian: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

Jason: YEAH NIGHTWING. WHO IS IT?

Tim: NIGHTWING, NIGHTWINGGGG-

Dick: a- a right and then-

Jason: HELLOOOOOOOO

Dick: -GOD FUCK CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP.

*silence*

Bruce: *sigh*

Dick: *gasp* oh my god i’m so sorry i didn’t- that wasn’t directed at you i’m just on call with- oh fuck please don’t cry-

Jason: *loud cackles*

Tim: SUCCESS!

Jason, still laughing: I’m- oh god I can’t-

Damian: there goes Nightwing’s charisma score with the public.

Dick: i’m SO sorry- *furious whisper* you fuckers are going to fucking pay for this shit

Jason: *laughing loudly*

Tim: *wheeze* i feel like this is on you, not us

Dick: just you wait till i get a hold of you- here, why don’t i buy you an ice-cream as an apology, huh? i’ve got money riiight- fuck you guys, the kid ran away from me.

Tim: *sounding teary* i love group patrols so much

Dick, whining: B, you’re supposed to control them-!

Damian: I don’t think Batman has been in control of anything for a very long time.

Bruce: *sigh* Damian,

Bruce: shit- fuck- i mean Robin-,

*silence*

Jason and Tim: *cackling louder*

[mossing-around]

One of my favorite hobbies is thinking about the fucked up implications of this fantasy world map my parents got me for christmas

[Image ID: photo of a map. On the left side of the map is Middle Earth, with the Shire and Mordor labeled. To the direct right of Mordor is Whoville.]

[mossing-around]

Superman 2025 was fantastic. I enjoyed literally every moment of it. Have some Robins instead.

Once again, I could not resist the calls of sibling dynamics

[mossing-around]

Batfam Family Dinner except it's:

Bruce - Refuses to admit he needs glasses so can't refer to any of his children without the chance of getting the wrong name

Dick - Often goes nonverbal (I don't know whose headcanon this is but I love it)

Cass - Still learning to speak or also often nonverbal

Jason - Is upset with Bruce and is giving him, and by extension everyone else,the silent treatment

Tim - So locked in on figuring out a case that he has been fully out of it for 2 days

Duke - Thinks he's missing out on something, or that this is some weird sort of training and doesn’t want to be the first to speak

Damian - Is beta reading Tim's Bruce Wayne/Batman fic under the table (he's only doing it because Bruce said he wasn't allowed to adopt all the ducks at the park)

[mossing-around]

DPxDC The Guy

AKA "There's a problem, so Jason Todd does the whole 'I know a guy' routine except his guy is Danny Fenton. And Danny literally just stands around and yaps while Jason fixes the problem. The Batfam are like??? Who the hell is this guy??" prompt idea! Lowkey dead on main but can be read as friends! :)

This literally won't leave my brain! I just imagine how hilarious it would be if one of the Batfam had a problem, maybe their bike got messed up while on patrol, and Jason's just like don't worry about it. I know a guy. He calls up some guy named Danny and asks for a favor.

Danny shows up in civvies - just an old NASA hoodie, ripped jeans, and ratty Converse. Dick expects Danny to be a mechanic or something because he's brought a bag of tools, but instead he just deadass starts talking about his day?? And Jason takes the bag, kneels down next to Dick's bike, and works on it while Danny orbits around him yapping nonstop.

Dick's just like?? Why did you even call this guy, he's not even helping???

("Jay, what-," Dick interrupts Danny's rant about his chemistry professor's obsession with Scarecrow, only to be silenced by Jason's murderous glare from beside the motorcycle. Jason nods at Danny to continue and the guy offers a sunny smile before giving a in-depth analysis of why fear toxin is just bad weed. Dick watches from afar as Danny's monologue forces several abrupt, snorting laughs from Jason. It's a sound Dick hasn't heard for years.)

The next time it happens is at the Manor. Jason is helping Alfred cook breakfast in the kitchen; Alfred opens the pantry door and pauses.

"What?" Jason leans around Alfred to peer at the curiously empty glass jar of what was probably flour.

"We seem to have some wayward flour on our hands. How odd, as I restocked it Tuesday." Alfred's tone made it clear he knew exactly who it was (Dick, who's just visited the manor the other day to 'see his siblings', AKA to raid the pantry since he didn't want to go grocery shopping) and there would be consequences.

Jason brushes sugar off his hands and reaches for his phone, almost smiling when he says, "Don't sweat it, Alfie. I know a guy."

Twelve minutes later, Daniel Fenton knocks on the door of Wayne Manor with a bag of flour in hand and coffee from the little cafe near Jason's apartment. Tim and Steph stumble into the kitchen bleary-eyed from late night patrol about two hours later. Only to find Danny sitting at the kitchen island chatting with Alfred and Jason about the English pre-war printing processes. Jason's smile is so wide that his dimples pop against his cheeks. (Tim stares, feeling some sort of... not nostalgia exactly, but something like it. Jason looks younger, grinning wryly at Danny, a streak of flour on his chin. He looks like the old Robin, the one Tim used to take pictures of and quietly idolize. Jason looks... happy.)

It becomes a well-known habit. Sink's broken? Cat stuck in a tree? It gets to a point where the Batfam know that Jason will call Danny for increasingly ridiculous stuff.

Damian: Todd, I require assistance-

Jason: Sure, I know a guy.

Damian: Is it Daniel?

Jason:

Jason: Do you want my help or not, brat?

Except one time it's serious. End-of-the-world, intergalactic crisis, tell-your-kids-you-love-them kind of serious. Jason's hand goes to his phone even as his siblings, his father Batman, and several of the Justice League grimly debate the world's fate. Nightwing notices Jason typing at his phone before the rest do.

"Hood, you can't be serious. You can't involve a civilian in this!"

Jason ignores him and the subsequent outcries of his family, the confusion of Batman and the JL, to press the phone to his ear. This time, however, he doesn't ask for Danny. When the familiar cheeky voice calls out what's cookin', good lookin'? from the phone, Jason's voice is grim when he says, "Phantom, I need a favor."

There's silence. Then, it's almost like an abrupt change in air pressure or the undeniable crush of tectonic plates grinding together. When a green portal pulls apart the fabric of reality, Danny doesn't step out. It's Phantom, High King of Infinite Realms, Space, and Heir to Father Time, clad in regal attire with a crown of white-hot flames nestled into his hair. His steps are sure when he walks past the tense crowd of superheroes.

"You called?" Phantom asks. His unnatural Lazarus-green eyes burn into Jason, but there's a midwestern twang in his voice that's so reminiscent of Danny that Jason can't help a small huffing laugh.

Jason turns back to his family and the JL, gesturing to Danny. His family have already made the connection. Likely because Danny's accent, the subtle similarities between Danny's human appearance and his Realms appearance, and the fact that there's only one person Jason ever calls. Danny turns to the League with a bright smile and introduces himself as, "Danny Phantom, but you can call me Phantom."

(And then they kiss!! Just kidding. But Danny probably saves the world and then they go back to the Manor, much to the confusion of the batfam. The batfam are all like, wtf, Jason?? You didn't tell us the guy you've been hanging out with all the time was the freakin' King of Infinite Realms?? And Jason just shrugs, and is like, well... I guess living with him kinda desensitizes you to all the ghostly shit? That's how the batfam find out Jason and Danny are living together. Are they boyfriends?? Maybe, maybe not. But it seems suspicious that Jason's always calling Danny, seemingly just because he likes being around him, hm? ;))

[mossing-around]

if Damian can imitate voices then there’s no way he doesn’t steal Bruce’s phone Friday Night Dinner style to harass Tim.

Tim, picking up a call from Bruce: Hello?

Damian, imitating Bruce perfectly: Timothy, I need you to stay away from the gala tonight. You are short and unapplealing and I don’t want to be seen with you.

Tim:

Tim, tired as fuck: Damian, never in my life has Bruce referred to me as ‘Timothy’. I know it’s you.

Damian, softly: fuck.

Damian: *hangs up*

-

*ring ring*

Tim: yeah?

Damian as Bruce, calling at 2AM: i birthed you.

Tim: eh?

Damian: it was a 12 hour labour.

Tim:

Damian: you tore my crotch beyond repair-

Tim: ok- Damian i know it’s you now KNOCK IT OFF.

-

Tim, hanging out with Jason: oh, B just sent me a voice message?

Jason: ?? the fucks he want, play it.

Tim: *presses play*

Bruce: you remind me of a baby hippo. grey skin and wide, unintelligent eyes.

Tim and Jason:

Tim and Jason:

Jason: wh-

Tim: i understand why you tried to kill me now.

Tim: having little brothers is a fucking travesty.

Jason:

Jason: so was that not Bruce?

[mossing-around]

Bruce: I haven't seen any of the boys for fifteen minutes now.

*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside, and only the top of Damian’s head visible in the backseat, is seen rolling down a driveway. With Dick, Jason, Tim, and Duke running after it in a panic.*

*Bruce doesn't look outside at all.*

Bruce: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

[mossing-around]

Technus made a VR headset! It's being sold to ghosts, as a ghost-only product, and Danny is very excited.

It's powered by the users ecto, and has been peer reviewed by not just Point Dexter, but also Walker and Ember and the Box Ghost. It's not a trap!

It's just Technus raking in payment in the form of old and new tech from across all dimensions for his lair in return for one of the headsets!

Danny makes sure the anti-ghost system in the house is off, that his door is locked, and slips on the VR headset in preparation for something phenominal. So far, there's only one game, but it's very popular among ghosts.

[Welcome, User P H A N T O M. Please select a sigil to determine your starting point.]

Danny selects the picture of...hmm. What to choose, what to choose.

He chooses...the lightning bolt.

Danny blinks and he's staring up at a strange woman.

Danny very quickly finds out that while this game is super popular with ghosts, for someone like Danny, who's half living? Kind of boring.

Because it's a life simulator.

It's like if a bunch of orcs and wizards played DnD, but the game was about working in an office.

In this particular simulation, he's the son of a single mother, who he apparently takes after; black hair, blue eyes. When he grows up he isn't gonna look any different from how he does IRL.

Sooo...no character customization. Damn.

He gets named Daniel, because obviously?

His life is painfully mundane; he has no powers, he's just an average human. Which is a pity, because in this world/server there's other heroes with super powers, and he would have loved to have been able to join in on their shenanigans.

He wakes up. He plays. He eats. He goes to sleep.

Then he gets old enough to go to school, which. Ugh. Not again.

New routine. wake up, school, go home, snacks, homework, sleep.

He makes a few friends, but not really. It's hard to be friends with NPCs, after all.

Then he hits ten, and uh.

He has a power?

Super speed. He has super speed.

His mother breaks down crying when she sees him disappear and reappear on the other side of the room.

He's the second Flash's son, who said man has no idea exists.

After that is a whirlwind of trying to pretend he doesn't have powers, slipping up, getting involved in a fight, outing himself, getting him and his mom absorbed into the Flash family by osmosis, and after about five more years, he's essentially forgotten that this is a VR game.

Then his dad is about to take a hit, and Danny dives in front, tanking it.

Danny dies in his father's arms, only for the oncoming peace of death to be interrupted with

[GAME OVER. ONE TIME USAGE COMPLETE.]

Danny bolts upright, hands on his chest, panting.

Wait, game over? Right, right, the VR headset.

No, wait...one time usage?! What a rip off!

Danny hides his grief at losing his NPC family behind the rage of the one time usage, and pretends the tears leaking out of his eyes are from fury.

~~~~~~

Wally clutches the broken body of his son, trying so, so hard not to snap.

He'd only had Danny for five years.

Five fucking years. He'd missed most of Danny's life, and...and because of one stupid fucking mistake, because he hadn't been good enough...

Wally feels his body begin to distort, the Speedforce responding to his rage with an otherworldly indifference to what rules of reality his body is supposed to obey.

Danny has to be alive, in at least one reality.

Wally is going to find him, consequences be damned.

TLDR; Technus makes a one time use headset for ghosts to get to live another life, and neglects to mention that it's actually temporarily removing their consciousness and placing it into people who otherwise wouldn't be alive.

Danny thinks it was just a game.

To his grieving Speedster father he gained in that reality, however, it very much was not a game, and the man is currently on his way to Danny's home reality after going on a grief bender that would make Batman blush.

[mossing-around]

i think what makes my feelings on hans so muddled is that there seems to be no discernable truth to him, there's no concrete narrative or even throughline to hold onto.

i started out believing hans, partly bc my initial view on magnus was shaped by my inclination to contrarianism, but also bc the facts simply aren't in his favor. looking at this tangibly, what magnus said, alongside the prevailing undercurrent characterizing hans, has been rooted purely in bias and irrationality.

however, grandmasters have been speaking on how his play is uncharacteristically engine-like, both his playing style and level are notably unstable and he's not consistently good in any format. he has no foundational characteristics. which is suspicious when you're operating in a sector predicated on skill and ranking.

on the other hand, magnus' loss to him has been analyzed as reasonable through both fair play and quality analysis, with it being said that his strategy was simply impaired on the day. and its not like magnus hasn't been susceptible to being psychologically affected by elements he finds suspicious or distracting before. however, magnus' impaired play doesn't preclude hans from cheating, and him making a few inaccuracies or blunders could easily have been intentional. yet, i would immediately write off the theorizing and confirmation bias inherent in sustaining this position, and i initially did, except hans is the one who most incriminates himself in this whole situation.

however, i honestly think hans' reactions thus far have been completely understandable, i think there's reason to his hyperbolic and paranoid view of chesscom and the top players, and how scarring and overwhelming it must be to be dogpiled and ostracized, especially as a teen and burgeoning talent. its obvious why your idols persecuting and shunning you must've crushed him, or how bravado would be an instinctive mask to that. or even that he would demand more from bystanders like levy for example, and would regard impartiality as betrayal when the definitive narratives around him were so punitive and overt. its clear why he would be impulsive and retaliative and uncordial. i think hans is right that his life was ruined over nothing™.

but i also know that the nothing in question is only for present proof, and that regardless, demonstrably, he has a propensity to morally grandstand and equate punishment with remorse, which is partly justified bc at least he has been punished, but the question of magnus or even hikaru's dues begin to grow dubious when its not just them who constructed the cheater narrative, it preceded and eclipses them. its not merely a reactionary stance, but one rooted in consensus and skillful inclination. but magnus was also vulnerable to confirmation bias, and the inconsistency in which cheaters they play holds gravity.

which makes one think abt what exactly in him elicits sm ire, and whether its truly his play or rather his attitude — which is further complicated by magnus' eagerness to nurture the youth, and his embracing of competition he sees as genuine and substantive, with him platforming alireza, pragg and others, despite the former's equally inconsistent play, yet historic aptitude with faster time controls and success in less pressurized events. this eliminates hubris or elitism as magnus' motivating factor, especially when his legacy goals are so attuned to the youth and fostering their growth and succession.

ultimately, it blurs the lines between bias and justification: when hans has a history of cheating which he vehemently downplays, obfuscates and cherrypicks, and consequently twists the juvenile shellshock that could've resulted in his pisspoor post-game analysis into smth more implicating and sinister. it calls into question the premature and subpar blunders he makes, or his association with a supposed anti-cheating figure like kramnick. and also forces equal skepticism when he psychologically outmaneuvers elite talents like wesley, and when he unexpectedly loses to typically middling IMs. and where this otherwise would have been branded an expected lapse, hans' glaring lack of stylistic and rating consistency, supposed cheating in both prize and non-prize events, and overall cheating history, which extends into the hundreds in actuality, will forever cast doubt on him — painting him as more of a glory cheater if anything.

the central question remains, why exactly is a guy so historically inconsistent now in the top 20, and what delineable evolution has he underwent in his play when he's still as inconsistent as ever. turning what may have otherwise been a witch-hunt into smth inadvertently understandable. hans is overt in his irregularity, he's unabashed. but, he's also logically and evidentially innocent.

hans can't account for his growth, yet neither can his detractors. he's an amorphous oscillation relegated perpetually to inscrutability. he's an inherent contradiction, and any objectivity we try apply is inevitably refracted through his personhood, and whatever sentiment he reflects back at you. the question of hans' validity, of his professional narrative, is now his career. hans is tasked with completing a picture with colours he doesn't have.

there is no way to know, no vision to clarify, and i hate that.