mpregwizard

[mpregwizard]

Think i might be evil on par with draculas and nosferatus

[mpregwizard]

hey, my wraith saw you from across the dungeon and wanted to know if he was cool to touch you with his long-ass skeletal ice finger

[mpregwizard]

Hi. Angel on your shoulder here. It's totally ok to kill that guy

[mpregwizard]

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

[mpregwizard]

Ok everyone let’s think beautiful thoughts about masculine women today.

[mpregwizard]

inventing a new kind of sex that can get that man not just pregnant but also gregnant or pegnate or even prangent

[mpregwizard]

bro, does this party have perfectly ripe summer heirloom tomatoes or do we need to pregame?

[mpregwizard]

simulating the experience of freshly baked cookies by eating expired cookies that have been sitting in the heat of my room all day

[mpregwizard]

i have automatic updates turned off AND i set up a time for my computer to update AND its during my active "no restart" hours so why are we choosing to update windows now

[mpregwizard]

I've been thinking of the "Can Granny Weatherwax beat Bugs Bunny" question and this is my full take for Discworld characters:

Vimes - Cares too much, too easy to piss off. Has the innate chase instinct that makes characters run into walls with realistic tunnels painted on them. Might get to arrest Bugs Bunny but the beast will just slip out of the handcuffs to help him lock them, then walk out of the jail cell to have a union mandated coffee break.

Ridcully - Classic hunting season scenario, but has enough charisma to probably still get a few good shots off before the inevitable.

Rest of the wizards - No survivors, only Bugs.

Carrot - The intense near-magical narrative aura of well meaning innocence should make him immune, Bugs will likely be forced to be the villain of the episode.

Lord Vetinari - Flattened by a comically large anvil in the first few minutes of the episode, unclear if it was all a part of his long term strategy or not.

Moist - Has the 'lovable trickster getting away with it' energy, but nowhere near Bugs level. Already fell for the "old lady who swallowed a fly" scenario with the stamp slugs once, won't fare any better here.

Death - Definitely one of those "character is trying to avoid death" episodes, would go back and forth. Might actually get to end Bugs but his spirit will reappear in Death's domain and ruin his garden.

Nanny Ogg - The ultimate in anti-Bugs technology, a gleefully annoying old lady who doesn't give a fuck and definitely won't be the first to instigate the plot bearing conflict. This is a full sweep, he's the episode antagonist.

Granny Weatherwax - Too win-motivated to not lose. Would have to break the story to have any chance. Might do it.

Magrat - Will have sappy ideas about helping the poor animal which honestly has the 50:50 chance of either getting slapsticked or Bugs ending in a ye olde stroller&pacifier gag.

Colon&Nobby - Designed in a lab to be totaled by Bugs Bunny.

Tiffany Aching - A child that also has a large pan that is the perfect thing to hit someone over the head with and make a BOIOIOINGGG sound, so great odds.

[mpregwizard]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[mpregwizard]

I actually passed away quite a few years ago, but I'm a very private person and never told anybody.

[mpregwizard]

we need to play 2010s club music in this suburban nursing home NOW or all the residents will keel over

we NEED to play club music in this suburban gas station NOW or everyone will DIE

[mpregwizard]

we NEED to play club music in this suburban gas station NOW or everyone will DIE

[mpregwizard]

It's unbelievable to me that everyone crops out the fourth panel of this comic

[mpregwizard]

"shall i tell you about angels, Mr Lipwig?"

[mpregwizard]

me having a weird time: man this weird time sucks! i don't feel like myself! i wish i was having a normal time!

me having a normal time: well the weird time did have a certain je ne sais quoi...