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Jason: Do I make you hard?

Tim: You make everything difficult, yes.

Jason: *puts hand on wall above Tim's head* Not what I meant.

Tim: I'm aware... and you make things difficult. *winks and walks away*

Jason: *watches him go* I'm claiming his ass.

Dick: Why? What did I ever do to deserve this?

Bruce: *suffering but enjoying Dick's suffering more* Want the list? Like how often you and Barbara stopped for-

Dick: I don't wanna hear it from Selina's scratching post.

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lazarus boy or something

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tim: i was lowkey hard when you beat me up at the tower

jason, trying to read in peace: what the fuck is wrong with you

tim: i was holding back moans

jason: you need to be put down

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OH NY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

IS MY MAAAAAAAN

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They have a Wall of Shame for the Worst Mission Plans™. Among them are:

- Hire a band for mood music

- Build a fake Batburger

- Draw Killer Croc out by flooding the sewers

- End all crime by renaming Crime Alley to Lawful Fun Times Alley

- Do all the drugs so there's nothing left to deal

- Adopt all the criminals and ground them so they can't leave the house and do crime

- Kill everyone

- Give all civilians an emergency hand grenade

- Microdose bullets to build immunity

- Take Gotham and move it somewhere else because there's clearly something in the water

- Dump all the Rogues in Metropolis. They're Superman's problem now

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Jason sleep talking: Tim... *Incoherent mumbling* love you *more incoherent mumbling*

Tim sleep talking: fight me... I'll fucking whoop your ass, you *stream of mumbled expletives*

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Hi yes @sing-a-sirensong dragged me into watching Spartacus the tv show they showed me there were canon alive gays once and now I'm hooked so I present a vague idea post bc @deepwithintheabyss said to, ft some relevant historical stuff significantly simplified.

Gladiator JayTim AU:

Jason is the champion of his Ludus (gladiator training ground/barracks) and is well beloved by the people because even if he doesn't get the go ahead to kill at the end of the match he still makes it bloody and theatrical. The members of the ludus knwo not to fuck with the cats even if they're strays bc Jason takes it personally. They're the only thing Jason cares about. No one knows how he ended up a gladiator, whether he sold himself into it for the glory or money, or if he was captured, and no one dares to ask.

Tim's the cousin of the last emperor, and he was the closest male descendant and was named and educated as the emperor's heir. However, someone else was closer when the emperor died and claimed the throne and, as is not uncommon in history, sent assassins after all of Tim's family. He happened to not be home when the assassins arrived and killed his parents and the servants and slaves actually liked Tim so hid him in their ranks. He was sold pretty cheap because while he looks fairly strong and healthy, he clearly hasn't ever fought.

The doctore (trainer) starts off the training super harsh, like it's not a gradual climb it's the sort of training to weed out people who won't put on a good show or can't fight for show so they can be sold on/repurposed in the lanista's (owner/sponsor) other pursuits ie. sent to the mines (I feel like Bruce should be the doctore but idk for sure on that). A not insignificant amount of that first week also includes harsh hazing from the other gladiators (including but not limited to food getting stolen from the trainees) and general suckyness.

During that first week Jason is mostly a passive asshole, kicking over food, snatching water, pulling chairs/benches out from under people, verbal bullying, but there's no physical assault outside of sparring because that can incur punishments. Even in sparring if they push too hard they get physically restrained bc there's no one paying to watch them so there's no point.

Tim actually makes it through the first week and manages to beat the first of the "real" gladiators he's paired up with to spar at the end of the week which catches Jason's attention. Jason fully stalks/watches Tim for a while after that and a rando trying to get on Jason's good side knocks Tim out and trusses him up in Jason's room.

Jason is Not Pleased but keeps Tim in his room because he can tell others are noticing how pretty Tim is, and that there's a not insignificant number of people who want to ruin him (sexually, physically, emotionally, etc). So he unties Tim, wraps him in the sole blanket Jason gets for being a Good Fighter and makes Tim take the bed while he sits on the floor of the pretty small/cramped cell. They have a conversation where Tim admits to never having worked a "real job" before, Jason tells Tim that he feeds half his fish rations to the stray cats even though the lanista hates seeing so many cats.

Jason takes Tim under his wing after that, everyone assumes that they're fucking and as a result stop tormenting Tim instantly. Tim ends up sitting alone with Jason at the edge of the mess room and asks if it bothers him. Jason shrugs and tells Tim to eat his food. Jason actually helps Tim train that day and it makes Tim's life a hell of a lot easier. Jason idly asks if the whispers about them bother Tim and Tim replies that he doesn't have the luxury of caring. Jason brings Tim back to his room again but Tim insists on taking the floor bc he hasn't "earned" the bed like Jason has, ofc there's innuendos and they end up fucking.

mmmm Jason's big scarred and calloused hands on Tim's tiny waist fucking into him and kissing him...

Anyways. Afterglow Tim tells Jason how he ended up there, that he really doesn't have anything to return to or fight for, and he needs to be good enough to live but not excel and possibly be put up for games the emperor could attend. Jason promises to protect Tim, no matter what, and Tim holds onto Jason tight.

Tim ends up premiering in the arena and is pretty good, nowhere near Jason's level but Tim can't be killed because he starts to get used as another reward for Jason doing well. And everyone likes watching Jason perform well.

A couple years pass and they end up being a staple in the ludus, wherever Tim is Jason isn't far behind. When they're shown off before games the patrons are All Aware of Tim and Jason and occasionally as a Special Treat the lanista has them fuck in front of people before the games. It's a Part Of Life for them. Tim and Jason have their oil sometimes scraped and sold together bc people think the aphrodisiac properties will be even stronger w two fucking gladiators who are super strong and good/the best fighters than the normal oil (gladiators were oiled up before fights and then the dirty oil was scraped off and sometimes sold as there was a belief that it held aphrodisiac and fertility boosting properties, aka the og gamer girl bathwater). There's a *lot* of fucking, Tim is 100% a powerbottom and is so in control of the situation it makes Jason go weak in the knees if he thinks abt it too much.

During the couple of years Tim and Jason also take a couple more gladiators/trainees under their wings and kinda make a lil family unit within the ludus itself, most of the ones they take in are people without any family outside the ludus. The lanista actually doesn't mind this bc it ensures that they're loyal to the ludus, and it means they fight better together so there are frequent matches where they play roman armies/generals winning against "savage barbarians" (people sentenced to death in the arena were not infrequently dressed up as enemy tribes to recreate famous battles that the Romans won in a very bloody pantomime recreation of the battle).

Then the emperor gets assassinated by someone who believes the Rightful Heir is alive, the person then takes the throne as regent until the rightful heir is found. (Worth noting that historically the idea of a rightful heir in Imperial Rome was much more loosey goosey, anyone *could* become emperor but frequently it passed through family lines and those who didn't have children would pick a family member as heir. It was also possible for someone who had their own children to instead bypass their kids for someone else, or just upset the birth order and pick their last born child, or adopt a family member and make them heir. It was a wild time for inheritance laws)

When the whispers reach the gladiators Tim instantly tenses bc the only people who knew he was alive was the servants and slaves, and he doesn't know what to do. What really doesn't help matters is when the regent is said to be arriving in their city to look for the rightful heir and will be attending a special show in the arena.

Tim manages to escape being chosen for the fight but the lanista decides that the regent should get to watch Jason up close and summons Tim from the barracks to get fucked. It doesn't get that far bc the regent is Dick who was a former teacher of Tim and was made a member of the senate on the recommendation of Tim's parents to the emperor and Tim wrote a letter to the emperor for whom he was heir verifying that Dick was a good pick bc he didn't shout for no reason (Tim was like, 8/9) and the emperor thought the letter of recommendation was highkey a great sign of leadership from Tim. 

Of course Dick recognizes Tim instantly and orders everyone else out of the room, including the imperial guards, slaves, lanista, and Jason, everyone's kinda sad and a little peeved bc they like watching Jason fuck Tim. Tim grabs Jason's hand and makes him stay bc he needs him there. Dick looks Tim over, makes sure he's okay, worries over him ofc, shooting glares at Jason. Tim smacks Dick about it and tells him that Jason's the only reason he's still sane, that he's not going anywhere without Jason.

Dick shrugs off one of the layers of fabric from his ornate toga style to cover Tim (gladiators were sparsely clothed when shown off bc yk... apparently it was sexy) before summoning his servants and orders the lanista compensated for the loss of Tim and Jason while both of them are rinsed and dressed appropriately (it's the most clothing Jason has worn in years and he's instantly overheating and complaining to Tim), but he didn't want Tim to remain uncovered bc he was summoned naked and Dick Needed To Cover Him Right Now. 

Once he's decked out as emperor and Jason is close enough to respectably dressed to be at the emperor's side, Tim is presented to the gathered crowd as the rightful emperor of all of Rome and yk people have feelings about that. But ofc they kneel/bow etc.

Tim pays for the freedom of any of the gladiators from his ludus that want to leave (some people did actively choose to become gladiators) that were even a little bit nice to him and offers them spots on his guard/as generals bc they know how to fight, but especially those they took under their wing. They don't get a choice they're coming w them they can make money and fight for glory in Tim's name but Tim is the emperor and will not take no for an answer from the ones he cares about. 

Tim never gets married and lives openly with Jason and does the imperial tradition of adopting a distant relative's kid into his household to be his heir and this time he keeps the kid close by bc no thank you for a repeat of what he went through. He also gives his formal ludus the patronage of the imperial household.

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I hate them

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A small list of random ass sites I’ve found useful when writing:

Fragrantica: perfume enthusiast site that has a long list of scents. v helpful when you’re writing your guilty pleasure abo fics

Just One Cookbook: recipe site that centers on Japanese cuisine. Lots of different recipes to browse, plenty of inspiration so you’re not just “ramen and sushi” 

This comparing heights page: gives you a visual on height differences between characters

A page on the colors of bruises+healing stages: well just that. there you go. describe your bruises properly

McCormick Science Institute: yes this is a real thing. the site shows off research on spices and gives the history on them. be historically accurate or just indulge in mindless fascination. boost your restaurant au with it

A Glossary of Astronomy Terms: to pepper in that sweet terminology for your astrophysics major college au needs

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Civilian Tim AU

Tim: *Deciding to seduce The Red Hood.* I am a native Gothamite. I haven't thought through a single decision I have ever made and I'm damn sure not about to start now.

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Bruce Wayne panicking because he walks into a WE board meeting to see a fully suited Red Hood sat at the table spinning around in a wheelie chair and CEO Tim Drake can only shrug and be like 'well he wanted to invest money'

Bruce, frantically pulling Tim aside: he is a CRIMINAL

Tim: so is like 90% of Gotham's elite. nobody else cares.

*both of them peer through the window to see literally nobody else in the meeting acting like a helmeted crime lord amongst them is any way odd. Stacy from accounting offers him a coffee and Red Hood denies politely*

Bruce: i understand him donating money, but why is he at our board meetings!??!

Tim: oh he bought like, over half our stocks. he owns 58% of the company now

Bruce:

Bruce: but thats...

Tim: yeah. more than you. Jason's the majority shareholder now.

Bruce:

Bruce: why did you let him do this

Tim: well you WANTED him to be part of the FAMILY again-

Bruce: SO YOU APPROVED HIM BUYING MY COMPANY?!

Tim:

Tim: shouldnta' benched me from fucking patrol.

Bruce:

Red Hood, knocking on the glass: can y'all wrap it the fuck up? i have other meetings to attend to after this

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Tim: *idly* you know there’s a buzzfeed unsolved episode about you?

Jason: what’s buzfeed unsolved?

Steph: *chokes* there’s a WHAT

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remade

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Sometimes Jason stops by after patrol.

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Gotham releases collectible photocards of their celebrities and the kids in Crime Alley are scrambling to find Timothy Drake ones because he's the only person that the Red Hood will exchange many many sweets and snacks for.

Oracle sees Hood crouched over the street with some young kids, zooms in to see Hood having a crisis because he only has enough chocolate to swap for ONE Timothy Drake card because its the super rare holographic with signature and a winking Tim.

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Finally made a jason photocard!

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Steph: “Do you really have to be so slutty?”

Tim: “Why are so offended, you taught me how to be a slut. At least I’m a slut with standards.”

Damian: “Clearly not if you’re fucking Todd.”

Dick: “I wouldn’t say that’s a bad thing. Jason hasn’t been this calm in years. Bruce doesn’t know what to do.”

Bruce: *mumbling to himself* “How… how has he not killed anyone in months… I don’t, I don’t understand.”