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myluck4u-com · 2 months ago

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OHHHH???? MY GOD???? OH MY FUCKING GOD??? I CANT ??? IN??? BITCH IM NOT LETTING THID GO FOR ABOUT 5 MONTHS. OHHH NY GOD???

𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒔 - part 3

... you find yourself falling for your university pen pal

cw (whole series): flirting, fluff, very sad angst

May 23rd, 2025

Matt,

You’re really sweet, and that means a lot to me. Your letters bring me a lot of comfort too. I can kind of sense something going on, you seem to be writing with a certain weight recently. I’m not going to dig or anything, just saying.

Thanks for the flowers again. These ones fared far better, and they’re eventually going to be pressed like the other ones. They have a certain quality. This is kinda crazy but I wonder if they smell a bit like you

Some nights I still try to write without saying anything important, just to fill the space. I think that’s what this is. I don’t really have updates, just thoughts.

I hope things are good where you are. I’m always here if you need to talk, however corny that is.

Also those photos of you are actually so adorable! I wish we were in the same place so we could have fun together.

—Y/N

[Polaroid of y/n]

_______________

June 7th, 2025

Hey,

Sorry this took longer than usual. Things got busy—too much to do and not enough energy to do it. I didn’t mean to go quiet.

I’m glad you liked the flowers. And the photo. I always feel kind of ridiculous smiling for one, but I figured you deserved that version of me.

I’ve been… I don’t know. Thinking a lot lately. About where I’m at, about people. My ex has been around more—nothing serious, just... familiar. It’s complicated. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to make this weird. I’m still figuring things out. There’s a lot to figure out.

But your letters are a constant, and I like that. Anyways the pen pals thing is coming to an end. I assume you still want to keep sending letters, I can definitely do that.

—Matt

_______________

June 18th, 2025

Matt,

I didn’t really know how to react when I first read your letter. I sat with it for a while. I’m still sitting with it.

I think what makes it hard isn’t what you said—it’s how it felt. Distant. Like I was getting the version of you that already started stepping back.

I know this was always meant to be temporary. I just didn��t expect it to start fading while I still cared this much.

I don’t want to make things complicated either. But pretending I’m fine with “figuring things out” when I can feel you slipping away. This is dumb and corny, I’m sorry. But I don’t understand. Please make me understand.

This really meant and still does mean a lot to me. Like it’s been half a year, and I could never stop thinking of you. Please, if I can get your contacts we can work this out.

You say my letters are a constant. But you didn’t say if you still want them. Not really.

—Y/N

Here’s a doodle.

_______________

July 5th, 2025

Y/N,

I’ve read your letter more times than I can count. I’ve had it on my desk for over a week. Every time I went to write back, I didn’t know how. Still don’t, really. But I owe you something more than silence.

You’re not corny. You’re honest. That’s something I’ve always admired about you, even when it’s hard, you don’t hide. I wish I was more like that.

You’re right. I have been distant.

I didn’t think this would go past the first letter. I didn’t think someone I’ve never met could make me feel like I was being seen. But you did. You still do.

I’m sorry for making you feel like you were the only one holding this up. That wasn’t fair. I’m not good at choosing what matters when life gets loud. But you matter.

As for contact stuff… I don’t know. I still feel like if we turn this into something else, we lose the version that felt so rare. I know that might sound selfish. I think I’m selfish. I’m sorry for bringing it up again, but my ex is back. I don’t know. I’m sorry.

I don’t want to let it go just yet.

—Matt P.S. I kept the doodle. It’s in a little shoe box of letters. They used to be on the wall but my roommate said I was weird. I don't know anymore. I'm sorry, y/n.

_______________

July 15th, 2025

Matt,

Thank you for writing back. I didn’t know if you would, and it’s okay that it took time. I think I needed time too.

I’m not mad. Just tired of wanting something that keeps slipping further away every time I reach for it.

And I get it—things change, people come back, feelings get confusing. I’m not trying to fight for something that doesn’t want to be fought for. I just wish you’d been clearer sooner.

I miss the version of you before, and its so fucking stupid because I don’t even know you. We’re pen pals for gods sake.

But part of me still hopes you’ll write again. I know how stupid that sounds.

If this is ending, I wish I knew how to end it right. But nothing about this has ever been simple.

—Y/N P.S. Tell your roommate they’re right. Putting pictures of a girl you don’t care about on your wall is weird. I think you should focus on your relationship instead.

_______________

July 27th, 2025

Returned Letter — no return address

Hi,

I just moved into this dorm and found a bunch of old letters addressed to a Matt in my mailbox. Like a ton, I counted 30. I don’t know who you are, but this seemed personal and important, so I figured I’d try sending it back.

Sorry if this is weird. Hope it reaches the right person.

a/n — sorry. matts a bitch.

*THESE POSTS ARE SCHEDULED AS I AM AWAY CURRENTLY, TO FIND OTHER PARTS YOU NEED TO SCROLL DOWN ON MY BLOG*

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myluck4u-com · 2 months ago

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I just yelped …. We cheered… WE PRAYED FOR TIMES LIKE TBESE

CHRIS : 🚬 ͏ ͏. . latehorseride⠀ ִ ๑ cowboy!chris

MATT : 🚬 ͏ ͏. . latehorseride⠀ ִ ๑ cowboy!matt

IN WHICH … chris/matt are on a late night ride with their horse. they come across cowgirl!user: a familiar woman, known from her daddy being friends with his.

wanna ride? i know i do.

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myluck4u-com · 4 months ago

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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????