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Merlin was caught doing magic at a time when Uther was still King. He’s in the dungeon now and awaiting his execution.
Arthur comes to him late in the evening expecting some answers but Merlin sees through Arthur’s tough demeanour that he’s confused, worried and scared, so it’s Merlin that tells him not to worry, that everything will be fine, that it is okay.
But Arthur only gets more agitated by Merlin’s calm behaviour:
Arthur: What am I supposed to tell your mother? Hunith?
Merlin: She’ll get a letter. That will explain everything.
Arthur: A letter? When did you had time to write a letter?
Merlin: I always write one preventively when I think it’s a close call. Then Gaius only has to send it.
Arthur: How… how many close calls have there been?
Merlin: A few.
Then Arthur storms off, at first randomly through the castle then he heads to the Court Physician and Merlin’s room. Gaius tries to stop him but the Prince of Camelot doesn’t take no for an answer, demanding the letters. It’s more than a few and Arthur opens and reads every single one about all the reckless times Merlin used magic for good. For him.
When he’s done processing it Arthur storms off again but this time straight to Morgana’s chambers.
She berates him for entering without even knocking, let alone permission.
Morgana: How dare you storming in here, don’t you have any manners??
Arthur: What are you planning?
Morgana: Excuse you, what?
Gwen awkwardly looks between them. Arthur looks at her as well.
Arthur: I know you are planning something to get him out. Merlin. What is it?
Morgana: Why would I tell you? If I were planning something. Hypothetically. Do you want to tell your father and get us executed too?
Arthur: So I can help you help him to get out!
Morgana: What?
Arthur: He wrote letters. To his mother. Every time he thought doing magic would get him killed. About all the things he did to save me. Save us. All of Camelot. Probably all of the five kingdoms and beyond as well.
Morgana: You read the letters to his mother?
Arthur: Not the point. There probably have been twice as many occasions he couldn’t write to his mother beforehand. Even he couldn’t see into the future, right?
Morgana: Would that be so bad? Seeing the Future?
Arthur: No, of course not. Maybe he can. I don’t know. Maybe he’s so calm down there because he’s already seen us breaking him out of there. So let’s do this.
Then, together they get him out.
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It’s feeling like I’m back in the doomscrolling season because what the fuck is eight hours of screen time
#doomscrolling#this should have been in the notes#random feelings#thoughts#tfisthisbrain#mental health
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Do you ever miss getting hugs? I’m feeling anxious right now and I know, that a hug might not cure it but it will definitely make a world of a difference…Hugs are 100/10
Mayyyybeeee a long, tight hug from that one specific person 🙃🙃
#this should have been in the notes#random feelings#thoughts#friendship#hugs#tight hugs#anxiety#i need hugs
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Nothing more to say today other than I really fkn miss my friends, the ones who live far away and the ones I’ve lost along the way.
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Immigrant Life
Sometimes being an immigrant in your 20s really sucks. 20s are hard to begin with, but add that to the constant feeling of missing home, missing your friends, missing important moments and the feeling being of being in a new, strange country...it's just something else...would not recommend. 0/10
#this should have been in the notes#thoughts#random feelings#immigrants#international#international student#missing#homesick
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Anxiety For Sale....$Free.99
I'm done with random moments of anxiety. I could be sitting and doing nothing but watching random youtube videos, and I would start feeling anxious out of the blue.
So, I have decided to sell it. It's great. Very Loyal. Keeps you on your toes. Take it :)
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I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either
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The most bullshit thing about the universe is that you have to talk to people to befriend them
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How does someone truly move on?
It's been months and most of the time it feels like I have moved on.....I don't think about them often...not talking to them doesn't feel like something's missing....used to not being a part of their everyday lives
But then I will see that one picture...or read that one message and it's like I'm back at square one.
I wanna feel normal again.
#this should have been in the notes#random feelings#thoughts#moving on#relationship#love#frienship#tfisthisbrain#random thoughts
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How do people just have groups of friends outside of school?
I was a different person in school and managed to make friends. But after school, it’s like I need a lesson on everything social because Talking to People??? Hanging Out??? Making Friends???
What’s a good way to tell people I’m not boring, I just have social anxiety
#this should have been in the notes#social anxiety#social#friends#thoughts#random feelings#friendship
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Does anyone else hate when they like someone?
It’s like suddenly I’ll find someone nice and I’ll like them but I would hate myself for it?!? It doesn’t make sense to me.
I started liking a friend and I was spending time with them..holding hands..long hugs..all that crap and I absolutely hated myself after spending time with the person.
I’ll give anything to know why that happens :P
#random feelings#this should have been in the notes#like#self hatred#Tfisthisbrain#needaplaceforthoughts#random thoughts
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Last minute cancellations are sometimes the worst thing
Because I would have a plan with my friends that gets cancelled. Then, even if the plan is back on, I don’t wanna go. My brain felt the relief...it doesn’t want to be a part of social situation anymore.
Takes two weeks to mentally prepare myself for an outing but a second for all that preparation to fail.....I was okay with going before...then why not when the plan is back on....It suddenly needs the two weeks again
#random feelings#thoughts#needaplaceforthoughts#this should have been in the notes#social#social anxiety#outings#tfisthisbrain
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congratulations on the 10000!!! i love ur writing so much <3 would you consider writing a second part to the "why did you wait until i moved on" prompt? loved the story u created with it
PART ONE
I feel like you all want a part two of the one-shots I would never guess lol, but yeah, so many people have asked for a part two, so here we go! I'll tag some of you that asked for this:
@decaffeinated-donut @jesstargaryenqueen @all-champagneproblems @relyingonoldships @flyingpalomita @constancezin @sunshine-marauders @flowersgrowback @victoria8719
if you didn't want to be tagged, I do apologize, if I missed anyone, I also apologize <3
James was sitting with Annabel in the corner of the common room, each of them working on their separate homework, with their knees touching. Lily bit down on the tip of her tongue as she zeroed in on their knees.
"Lily, you're going to set something on fire." Mary said quietly, reaching over and tapping her fingers on Lily's arm. "Why don't we go for a walk? We could go grab a snack from the kitchen?"
Lily forced herself to look away from James and Annabel, because Mary was right, she needed to stop glaring at their knees. "Alright, let's go to the kitchens."
Mary linked their arms and led them out of the common room.
When they were the only two in the corridor two floors down, Mary tugged Lily closer. "You seem more upset than you were last week."
Lily huffed and shook her head. "I am more upset now."
"Because he knows?" Mary prompted, and Lily was glad that she had the tact to take her away from the common room before saying anything. Marlene had been forgiven for her indiscretion of course, but only just.
Lily pressed her lips together and turned to look at Mary. "Yes, because he knows. And it wasn't enough."
Mary took a deep breath. "You wanted him to break up with Annabel?"
"Of course not," Lily felt her chest constrict and then she let out a puff of air. "But also, yes of course I did! I wanted him to tell me that he still had feelings for me and I wanted it to work out."
Nothing against Annabel of course, she was lovely and wonderful and Lily liked her a great deal, she could see why James fancied her, but when he hadn't known, she'd been able to hang onto that small shred of hope. Nothing had happened between the two of them because he hadn't known, not because he'd moved on, not because he no longer fancied her.
Because it felt impossible that this kind of big feeling could be one sided. How was she supposed to go about her day as though everything was fine when she had this weight on her chest pushing her into the ground? She needed someone else to help her lift it up, to shoulder the burden.
And that's what this feeling was, a burden.
Unrequited love was a bloody nightmare.
Mary kissed Lily's hair, right above her ear, "I'm sorry, Lily."
Lily shook her head. "No, it makes sense. James and I have never had good timing. It took us forever to work out how to be mates and then that all went to hell in a handbasket. It makes sense that I would fancy him only after he'd moved on."
"I'm sorry that you have to watch him move on."
Lily gave a sharp nod and cleared her throat, "Yeah. That part sucks a lot." They reached the fruit portrait and Mary reached out to open it. "I think what sucks the most is that he's been very awkward around me since he found out. He hardly ever laughs at my jokes, or even at his own jokes! He loves laughing at his own jokes!"
Mary was quiet as they walked over to the counter and took seats on a pair of stools. "Do you think that being friends with him is the best choice right now?"
Lily's heart jumped toward her throat. "Mary! How can you- You know that- I mean, I can't not be friends with him!"
"I know." Mary said. "But I also know, and please forgive me for bringing this up, but you have a habit of remaining in relationships far past when they become more harmful than good for you."
Lily looked at her best friend. Mary's brown eyes were wide with concern, and Lily's chest constricted again. "You're right. I know you are," She scrunched up her nose. "But I'm not ready to say goodbye to him yet. Even if this weird, performative, friendship hurts my feelings. We could still move past this, it really hasn't been that long, and I really want my friend back."
She'd had a strikingly similar conversation with Mary two times before this. Realizing this made her feels as though she'd been doused in cold water.
Things won't always be this way, she'll understand that I didn't choose this. I just want my sister back.
He's just confused, Mary. Once we're back home for the summer, things will go back to normal and I'll get my best friend back.
She was supposed to learn from the past, but she couldn't help but remain hopeful. Painfully so.
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“Why did you wait until I moved on?” prompt if you want!! <3
This is an old prompt, but I want to write something today, so here is a short little something
It's angsty, canon-ish and yeah. Here you are:
"Why did you wait until I moved on?" The waiver in James' voice had tears springing to Lily's eyes, but she blinked until they were no longer threatening to fall down her cheeks.
They were standing in the middle of the corridor adjacent to the charms classroom. They had just finished up class and James had overheard Marlene saying something very damning to Lily. Marlene hadn't known that James was right behind them, but he had been, and he'd been able to piece together that Lily now had feelings for him. Despite the fact that James no longer had feelings for Lily, despite the fact that James was now dating someone that wasn't Lily.
She shrugged, pressing her lips together. She couldn't speak now, if she tried, the tears would only come back and she'd be unable to stop them again.
So she shook her head until she was able to take a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. "I didn't mean to." She said, jutting her jaw the side and clearing her throat. "I didn't know that you- I didn't know about you and Annabel."
James' hand flew to his hair and he turned away from her, looking toward the portrait they'd stopped beside, the one with the old witches holding broomsticks as they played a game of gobstones. They were unusually quiet and Lily wished they'd stopped a little further down the corridor, near the window or the painting of the sunflower field.
She watched James' face, unable to look away as she waited for him to say something. His hand didn't leave his hair and his eyes narrowed before he looked back at her, but only for a moment and then his eyes turned down, toward the floor.
"I fancy Annabel."
"I know." Lily said quickly, her hands in tight fists around her knit jumper. "I know you do, and I didn't want you to find out that I fancied you! Marlene shouldn't have said that, you weren't supposed to-"
"But you do," He interrupted quietly, turning back toward her. His eyes were still narrowed, but his mouth made him look unsure. "You fancy me?"
A ridiculous question after everything she'd put herself trough the last couple of months. She'd realized she fancied him after visiting with him in Diagon Alley only to find out the next time she saw him that he was dating Annabel.
She hadn't tried to get over him, she knew that she wouldn't be able to do that any time soon. This feeling she was carrying around in her chest for him was heavy like a boulder, permanent like a tatoo. It wouldn't be easy to rid herself of something like this, something that felt tied to her lungs, seared to her heart.
She crossed her arms over her chest and gave one small nod. "Yes."
James shook his head and pulled at his hair, making it stick up more than usual. He opened his mouth and then closed it. Lily stood before him, tightening her arms as he repeated the process a few times. And then she was shaking her own head.
"James, we don't need to talk about it." She said, forcing her muscles to relax and reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "I know you're dating Annabel, I know that I'm too late, you were never supposed to find out."
"But I did."
"I know, but it's my burden, not yours." She shrugged, an attempt at nonchalance. James didn't look like he bought it. "I'll get over it," She lied. "I promise. I like being your friend too much to lose you over a stupid crush."
James' jaw clenched and Lily watched his mind racing.
It felt as though the silence might stretch on forever, and then James was nodding. "I like being your friend too."
"Good." Lily forced a smile. "So we'll just keep being friends and I'll throw Marlene out a window for being a loud mouth."
James didn't smile and Lily started to get worried for the first time since he'd asked to speak with her after class had ended. She hated watching him date someone else, but she would hate things to be awkward and weird between them even more.
So she reached out and swatted him on the shoulder. "Stop looking at me like that. People fancy people all he time! It's not a big deal." More lies. "Laugh at my jokes or I'll shove you out the window with Marlene."
James' smile looked forced now. "Be funnier and I'll laugh."
"Ha ha," Lily rolled her eyes and hitched her bag up her shoulder. "Now come on, let's get to our next class. It'd be bad form showing up late when we're the head students."
"Bad form, yeah." James agreed. Lily spun around and started walking, expecting James to fall into step beside her.
He did, and she nudged him with her elbow. "I really do like being your friend you know."
James' smile was almost real. "Yeah, I know." He nodded. "Who wouldn't?"
"There's that James Potter charm," Lily snorted.
She hated that he knew. Things were never going to be the same now.
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I need someone to explain to me why tf did I suddenly get the motivation to apply for jobs the moment I got a job?!?
I had no motivation for a month but the minute I get it, it’s like LinkedIn is the new Insta for me 🙄
#random feelings#thoughts#infp#this should have been in the notes#needaplaceforthoughts#job#linkedin#applying#motivation#wtf is this
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I think the only reason I was remotely confident in grades 4th and lower was because till then, the school forced us to go house to house and raise donation money….that requires some great will power
I hated it but guess in some warped up way it gave me confidence
#random feelings#thoughts#needaplaceforthoughts#this should have been in the notes#confidence#school#donation activity
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I realized that if I’m working and it’s time for my break, that break has to be what I expected it to be.
For example: If I told myself I’ll watch random YouTube videos for half an hour but instead a friend calls and I talk to them for half an hour….it doesn’t feel like a break.
I need to watch those YouTube videos to feel like I took a break :/
#random feelings#thoughts#this should have been in the notes#needaplaceforthoughts#productivity#unproductivity#breaktime#work#random youtube
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