#needaplaceforthoughts

[crazywriter-reader]

Heyyy! I just came across your blog. The whole INFP, heteromantic asexual and random posts resonates with me so much!

I’m still confused about my sexuality tbh. Sometimes I feel like I’m asexual…but it’s hard to know for sure since asexuality itself is a spectrum. How did you figure out your asexuality?

hello!!! welcome to the craziness, hahahaha. im so glad my blog found you!! i definitely understand!! i initially just did a lot of poking around on tumblr and youtube bc i was curious as to what it meant in the first place. and then i noticed i related to lots of the feelings/experiences of other aces. i think what really pushed me into realizing was the general ace relationship with crushes (or should i say lack thereof?). i saw many aces talking about how they'd never really had crushes growing up, not even/especially not on celebrities. that is very true for me. one time, i convinced myself that I had a crush on someone, just because all my friends wanted to know who my crush was. i think i also noticed that some of my core principles surrounding dating are very different from my friends. for instance, i always knew that once i got to highschool, i wouldn't date. and i didn't. this wasn't because i wasn't interested in romance, it was because highschool dating is typically just for fun and can involve getting pregnant. part of that is religious for me, but another part is that i don't even want to get pregnant period. i do want children, but nothing about getting and being pregnant is attractive to me.

so, i think, for me, i realized from those things (and others) that sex isn't "repulsive" to me, but i have no desire for it.

hope that helps!! also, @ace-culture-is is a really great blog! you can read other ace experiences and that might help!! @questioning-aspec-culture-is and @questioningasexual too

[needaplaceforthoughts]

I need someone to explain to me why tf did I suddenly get the motivation to apply for jobs the moment I got a job?!?

I had no motivation for a month but the minute I get it, it’s like LinkedIn is the new Insta for me 🙄

[needaplaceforthoughts]

Last minute cancellations are sometimes the worst thing

Because I would have a plan with my friends that gets cancelled. Then, even if the plan is back on, I don’t wanna go. My brain felt the relief...it doesn’t want to be a part of social situation anymore.

Takes two weeks to mentally prepare myself for an outing but a second for all that preparation to fail.....I was okay with going before...then why not when the plan is back on....It suddenly needs the two weeks again

[needaplaceforthoughts]

I think the only reason I was remotely confident in grades 4th and lower was because till then, the school forced us to go house to house and raise donation money….that requires some great will power

I hated it but guess in some warped up way it gave me confidence

[needaplaceforthoughts]

I realized that if I’m working and it’s time for my break, that break has to be what I expected it to be.

For example: If I told myself I’ll watch random YouTube videos for half an hour but instead a friend calls and I talk to them for half an hour….it doesn’t feel like a break.

I need to watch those YouTube videos to feel like I took a break :/

[needaplaceforthoughts]

Why is it that if I could, I’d choose the superpower to be able to read my minds only to know what everyone in my life truly thinks of me even though I know for a fact this power will make me miserable

Actually

I’m good with invisibility too

[needaplaceforthoughts]

Anyone ever go out with their friends but feel like you’re not actually there? Like you’re watching from a third person’s perspective instead of actively being with them?

It’s weird! Because once I’m done meeting them, it doesn’t feel like I actually met them

[needaplaceforthoughts]

Oh look I stayed up till 7am again.

Did I do something productive at night? Not at all

Have I ruined the next day for myself? Absolutely

Will I change my sleep schedule? Don’t think so

[needaplaceforthoughts]

Spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing while simultaneously my brain spent the entire day reciting a list of all the things I should be doing

Basically, internally I spent the day with a train wreck of a brain but externally it looked like I had not a care in the world

I’m ready for a new brain and new me now universe. Thank you very much