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neonlitgh · 2 months ago

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Telling LaDS men you’re so hungry you could eat their…

pairings: Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus, Caleb x Reader(separate)

content: crack, they’re starting to think you’re losing it, mentions of caleb’s death in zayne’s, this is stupid im sorry

a/n: i love this tiktok trend, doing it to children was funny but it’s even better on grown men

Xavier - his coworker!

You and Xavier were spending a lazy afternoon in, sitting on the couch, letting a movie play as background noise.

Your head was resting against his chest, as he drew patterns on your back.

The two main characters in the film were having dinner together and you pointed at the screen,

“I think we should eat something soon. I’m so hungry, I could eat, like, Tara.”

A moment of silence passed between you two, his movements on your back halted,

“Tara?”

You didn’t respond, eyes still glued to the screen.

“Isn’t she your friend?“

“Yeah.”

You let the silence linger again, waiting to add,

“I could, like, eat her up.”

You felt Xavier’s eyes on you but you kept your face neutral, trying to keep him off your track.

“Okay…”

You two went back to being quiet and he hesitantly resumed drawing the patterns on your back.

He cleared his throat after a while,

“I could make you something, if you’d like.”

Fear overtook you, quickly scrambling to safe yourself,

“It’s okay! We can just get takeout.”

He nodded, hands now busying themselves by playing with your hair and you thought you should mess with him some more,

“We could ask Tara to bring us something.”

He paused again, his eyes meeting yours, he was trying to figure out what this was about,

“Did you two get in a fight or-“

You started laughing, giving up the charade,

“Nah, I was just messing with you.”

You felt him let out a sigh of relieve,

“I was starting to get worried.”

You looked at him, blinking,

“About what?”

He shrugged,

“I mean, it’s weird to mention another person when you’re talking about being hungry, right? If it were wanderers, I’d understand a bit better but…”

This time, it was your turn to pause,

“What do you mean you could understand better if it were wanderers?”

He didn’t answer, now his eyes were glued to the screen,

“Xavier, what?”

Fortunately, you missed the smile tugging at his lips.

About time he gave you a taste of your own medicine.

Zayne - his (presumed) dead childhood friend!

You and Zayne had gone out for a sweet treat, you did your best to eat as quickly as possible, your boyfriend picked up on that but brushed it off on you being hungry.

As he was still busy with his ice cream, you started staring at him, unblinking.

He glanced at you, starting to feel concerned,

“Babe, I’m still so hungry, my god, I could literally eat Caleb right now.”

At the start of your sentence, Zayne stretched his ice cream cone out to you, wanting to offer you to finish his, but as you finished what you were saying, he quickly retracted his hand.

He stared at you as if you had grown a second head.

He didn’t say anything and neither did you, just staring at each other.

“What-“

Zayne started but before he could say anything else you burst out laughing,

Seeing as you still weren’t saying anything, just laughing maniacally, he grew more concerned.

“Hah… you should’ve seen your face! Priceless.”

He quietly spoke your name, gaze softening and you thought he was catching on,

“We can talk about it, if you want. I understand that you miss him.”

Your eyes quickly widened, trying to salvage the situation,

“Oh, nono! he’s fine! I was just messing with you. I should tell him about this, though.”

Zayne’s brows furrowed, feeling bad for you. He gave you the rest of his ice cream, after all, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face, before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“We can go visit him later, if you’d like.”

You nodded, the fact that Zayne had no idea Caleb had risen from the dead still not clicking for you,

“Oh yeah! You haven’t seen him in so long, I’m sure you two have a lot to say to each other.”

He hummed affirmatively, you two were just speaking past each other.

“A trip to Skyhaven would be nice, anyway.”

Finally, he looked at you with confusion again.

“Skyhaven? Why would we go to Skyhaven?”

It was your turn to look at him, just as confused.

When it finally hit, your eyes widened, mouth falling agape.

Well, good luck breaking the news to him!

Rafayel - his aunt!

Rafayel had asked you to model for him, you two had been sitting in his studio all morning.

He was sketching away, as you started to grow more bored.

He’d mumble somethings under his breath, never loud enough for you to actually make out what he was saying.

You couldn’t pass up on this perfect opportunity to mess with him,

“Man, I’m so hungry, I could eat Talia…”

The satisfying noises of his pencil against the paper stopped, as his head shot up, looking scandalised,

“My aunt?!”

You looked at him, as innocently as you could muster, not answering him.

“What do you mean?”

You held his gaze, answering non-chalantly,

“That’s how hungry I am.”

His mouth opened and closed, looking at you warily.

He slowly lowered his head again, eyes back on his block, before he shook his head, exclaiming the same thing in the same flabbergasted tone as he did the first time,

“MY AUNT?!”

You started cackling, throwing your head back. The traumatised look he shot you not moving you at all.

“Is that- why were you- WHAT?”

His confusion wasn’t wearing off, neither was his astonishment.

He finally put his art supplies down, getting up and walking towards you.

Rafayel placed both his hands on either sides of your head,

“We’re not visiting her for a while now.”

You gasped, throwing your arms around his neck,

“I was just joking around!”

He shook his head,

“Whether that was supposed to be threatening or your way of saying you think she’s pretty, doesn’t matter. Let’s get you something to eat now.”

You pouted at him,

“C’mon, Raf! Take a joke.”

He pushed you down, before crushing you with his weight,

“Nuh-Uh. You’re weird.”

The only way to fix this now, is sending him the videos that had prompted you to do mess with him like this and promising him that the only person you’d ever think of while hungry would be him.

Why would you even think he’d let this slide?

Sylus - one of his henchmen!

Sylus was sitting at his desk, reading.

You were sitting on the couch, bored on your phone.

You wanted attention and you had just found your ticket to getting some.

You put your phone down, sighing loudly.

That barely elicited a reaction from him, however you did notice the way he raised his eyebrow.

“I’m so hungry, I could eat one of the twins. Preferably Luke.”

At that, he slowly turned around, staring at you.

He squinted his eyes, searching your face for an indicator of what the hell you meant.

His expression didn’t change as he turned his eyes back to the pages before him,

“Right.”

You pouted, having hoped for a bigger reaction,

“No, right. That sounds perfectly sane.”

At that, your lips finally curled upwards into a smile,

“Maybe you should spend less time with the twins, actually.”

You finally let out a laugh at that and you didn’t miss the smirk tugging on his lips, either.

“And what on earth makes you think Luke would be the better tasting one?”

You huffed at his words, shaking your head,

“Who says I was basing this off of who I think would taste better?”

Sylus nodded, pushing his glasses up,

“Right, right, apologies.”

“Ugh, it’s so hard to mess with you!”

His cocky laugh made you smile, when you thought of something that might actually catch him off guard,

“Just for the record, if it came down to it, I wouldn’t be above eating Mephisto.”

His head still hung low but you saw his red eyes flicker up to you.

He pursed his lips, closing his book,

“Why would it ever come down to that?”

You shrugged, basking in finally getting his attention.

He tutted,

“Also, bold of you to assume he’d go out without a fight.”

You sprung up, putting your hands on your hips,

“Whose side are you on, exactly?!”

He stood up, slowly walking towards you,

“I’m not saying you’d lose. Just, let’s make sure that day never comes.”

Oh, he thinks he’s sooo funny.

Caleb - his college roommate!

You and Caleb were lying in bed, cozying up.

Covered by the blankets, Caleb’s arms were wrapped around you.

He was about ready to doze off, when you started mentioning food.

“Well, what would you like, pips?”

His voice was hoarse and you noticed how his eyes kept fluttering shut, trying his best to keep them open.

“I don’t know. I’m so hungry, I could eat, like…”

He hummed, still being attentive to you, even though he was on the brink of falling asleep.

“Gideon, maybe.”

His head snapped up at that, his eyes open and alert, any sign of sleep gone.

“What?”

He looked at you incredulously, wondering where that thought had even come from.

“Is that, what, an abbreviation for something?”

You shook your head, blinking up at him,

“I’m so hungry I could eat Gideon.”

He leaned back slightly, looking at your face, a confused smile on his lips.

“That’s kinda weird.”

You cocked your head to the side, the grin on your face didn’t help with his confusion.

“Gideon.”

Caleb rubbed one hand over his face, massaging under his eyes, knowing you were messing with him.

“Gideon. As in, my roommate from college, Gideon? What does this even mean.”

You giggled, pointing and laughing at your boyfriend.

“Seriously, Caleb, you’re so fun to mess with!”

He sighed, resting his chin on your head, squishing your cheeks with one hand,

“All right, whatever you say. Do you want something to eat now or not? And Gideon isn’t an option!”

You calmed down, leaning into his touch,

“You’re tired, go to sleep.”

He tsk’d, not letting go off you,

“How am I supposed to do that, when you just mentioned another man’s name while in our bed?”

“You’re making it sound wrong!”

He started rubbing your shoulders, slowly inching down,

“Don’t do that again.”

Maybe Caleb wasn’t so easy to mess with after all.

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neonlitgh · 4 years ago

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siyudad: shadow show

Summary: Lies and love unravel as the Kambal investigates an incident that brings them back a year before Alexandra Trese emerged from the Balete Tree.

Chapters posted in AO3: 4

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32112691/chapters/79556407

Author’s Note: I’ll post here every 4 chapters :>

“Do you really hate me this much?”

Crispin’s warm touch lingers for a while before Cielo turns to face him. His eyes, darker than usual. Rain drips from his hair. Dropping as casually as her gaze rests on his lips.

“I’m leaving. They need an architect there. You know I just started my internship, right?”

“Tangina. Why don’t they send another architect there then? Why does it have to be you?”

“Look, I never question your extracurriculars. Why do you have to question mine?” Cielo snaps back.

He ruffles his hair in frustration before sitting on the couch.

“Cielo, it’s too quiet. Someone’s planning something.”

“Crispin, could you just relax-“

Suddenly the door opens and a pair of strong arms envelope Cielo in a hug. Her hands linger on the shoulders of the person she is suddenly facing.

“I know you were planning to be extra careful. Good thing I’m going with you so you only need to be careful now.”

It was Basilio. He was carrying a duffel bag and a pair of shades.

“No, you’re not. Go do your thing in Boracay or whatever. I’m not taking a chaperone to Batanes, Gago.”

Basilio looks at his twin brother who just shrugs. They both sigh as she quietly sits on the sofa.

“I’m thankful for both of you. I always say that. But sometimes it’s just too much, okay? I’ll text you all the time. Heck, I’ll even call Alexandra just so you two won’t have to fight whenever I call one of you.”

“You won’t have to call Bossing if you take me. Promise I won’t even speak or go near you. You won’t notice I was even there. I’ll be in another room, unless.”

Crispin throws his brother a book which almost hits him. Special thanks to his quick reflexes or he would’ve dealt with a black eye.

“Shut up, Basilio. Sky’s not going.”

Cielo glared at Crispin. “Correction, Basilio’s not going. But I still am. What’s the point of you two calling me Sky if you keep holding me down, huh?”

“Look, I’m just looking out for you.” Crispin mutters, which was still audible, before he sits beside her.

Basilio imitates. “So am I.”

There’s no use trying to argue with them when they’re trying to use their twin powers of persuasion so she somehow obliges.

“Alright, I’m going to the office tomorrow. If they let me take a chaperone, I’m going.”

Crispin nods quietly. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. And if they say no, I’m going back. We could just go call Alexandra and drink alcohol until I forget all of you existed.”

Basilio snorts. “Well I’m pretty unforgettable so good luck with that.”

Cielo stood up to get her suitcase when she suddenly yawned. She immediately felt the eyes of the Kambal on her.

“Let me take that.” Crispin stood up and pulls the suitcase nearer to the door. Their fingers touch and Cielo’s cheeks almost burned.

Basilio quickly enters the bedroom and sits on one of the beanbag chairs.

“You two almost done there yet?” He asks before Cielo entered the room, Crispin slowly closing the door.

She quickly pats Basilio’s head. “Good night. See you tomorrow.”

He grabs her hand and just clasps it. At that moment, Cielo might have wanted to stay like that, which explains her sigh. “Good night.”

#trese #the kambal x reader #basilio #crispin #the kambal #alexandra trese #archive of our own #read on ao3 #kambal brainrot #trese netflix #crispin x reader #basilio x reader #fem!reader #Spotify

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