nevergoingtoquit

[nevergoingtoquit]

Absolutely bullshit that my mother can wreck my mental health with one phrase. And really it’s not my mental health but it’ definitely hurt my feelings. I’ve developed some new issues that I saw a specialist for today. We have a plan going forward but it’s still a little nerve wracking especially when these issues you don’t know anyone with.

So I made one comment after I got home about how I was a little nervous about these issues. Didn’t say anything else about it and moved on. Well I was helping her with making sure the dogs had water and the puppy was very surprised to hear my elbow pop. To be fair it was very loud so I was talking to the puppy when my mother snaps ‘you need to stop, you’re focusing too much on being sick’ and I just shut down. Haven’t said a word out loud since. I hate that this is my response but here I am. I’m going to be 33 in just over a week and I’m so over feeling like this. My mental health is shit and my physical health is doing things I don’t love.

[nevergoingtoquit]

It's my 7 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 insane to think I’ve been randomly posting about my health for the last 7 years

[nevergoingtoquit]

Gee why are my legs aching?!?? Oh maybe because I have a chronic condition where sitting ‘properly’ for long periods actually hurts me. Who would’ve thought?

In all seriousness I haven’t dealt with this side effect in so long that I forgot it was something I needed to keep an eye out for. Even when I’m at home I have my feet up and before that I had a couch with a chaise lounge so my legs were up consistently. The couch at my fathers does in fact have foot rests except somewhere along the line the one that I’ve been relegated to has been damaged. So it does go up but instead of the foot piece being parallel it’s got one side right and the other dropping. I hate it. 2 more full days and then I get to make the 6 hour drive home.

I drove from my mothers to my fathers today. And honestly I’m paying for it. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it, I’m so looking forward to spending the weekend sleeping on a couch……..I really should try and figure something else out when I’m visiting the family but let’s be honest holidays aren’t cheap for hotels.

[nevergoingtoquit]

And a night on the couch didn’t help. And it’s a holiday. Somebody sedate me please or keep my family from being ridiculous if I self medicate.

I drove from my mothers to my fathers today. And honestly I’m paying for it. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it, I’m so looking forward to spending the weekend sleeping on a couch……..I really should try and figure something else out when I’m visiting the family but let’s be honest holidays aren’t cheap for hotels.

[nevergoingtoquit]

I drove from my mothers to my fathers today. And honestly I’m paying for it. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it, I’m so looking forward to spending the weekend sleeping on a couch……..I really should try and figure something else out when I’m visiting the family but let’s be honest holidays aren’t cheap for hotels.

[nevergoingtoquit]

Slipping a rib is so much fun said no one ever. Sitting at my desk is not great when breathing hurts

[nevergoingtoquit]

I think at this point I’m just going to offer my next neurologist to rerun the neuropathy test……the last neuro I saw didn’t believe a rheumatologist would run a punch biopsy on a (then) 24 year old after every neuro I saw previously passed me off and told me that I didn’t actually have anything wrong with me. Got to love the gaslighting.

[nevergoingtoquit]

Yes I’m still alive. No I still don’t have answers. Alternatively going into year 8 of mystery issues.

[nevergoingtoquit]

Sometimes I think I’m doing okay.

So it’s been a minute since I posted here, I moved cross country and honestly I thought I had everything figured out.

I moved into my new apartment last week and even with movers my body has hurt because of course I assembled my own furniture while sitting on the floor.

My body hurts like I was hit by a truck. But no I just tried to do everything and now haven’t gotten done with half of the things. I’m exhausted and will be sleeping hard for the next few days. If someone tries to get ahold of me and can’t this is why.

[nevergoingtoquit]

Relevant again as my neuropathy flares again

When you're in so much pain your inner monologue is just "ow ow ow ow ow ow" over and over.

[nevergoingtoquit]

I’m feeling called out again. I got bingo too many times.

I uhhh... did a thing

[nevergoingtoquit]

Relevant again as I now get to find new doctors in the new area I live in

every new doctor reading my medical history

[nevergoingtoquit]

Got tested for Covid last weekend (again, negative) but I can’t tell if it’s an autoimmune flare, the common cold or what. Living with a chronic illness during a pandemic is exhausting. And I still go to work on top of it.

[nevergoingtoquit]

When you're in so much pain your inner monologue is just "ow ow ow ow ow ow" over and over.

[nevergoingtoquit]

You know I’ll take an autoimmune flare over a neuropathy flare any day. My left leg is so sensitive right now that my sweat pants are aggravating it. Here’s to hoping my medicine works quickly.

[nevergoingtoquit]

Yay for not sleeping thanks to neuropathy

[nevergoingtoquit]

PCOS: Pretty Consistently Over (this) Shit