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NOTE:

Carmilla (and Natasha and Elise) have been the greatest discovery and become my best distraction from everything dark that likes to take control over me. Since discovering Carmilla in June (2017) I have not thought about self harm, I haven’t had a thought of suicide and it’s given me hope in my life. I’m writing again and Carmilla has given me the good motivation to finally begin the process of writing my book that’s been stored in my head for years. These two women and their beautiful characters have given me, personally, a story that I needed to be exposed to. My Laura will come one day. She wasn’t my Laura. And that’s okay…I need to move on and get on with my life and focus on my self and my own happiness. One day if I ever get the chance to be in the presence of Natasha and Elise my first instinct will be to hug them and thank them. I have felt broken for too long and they somehow gave me back to myself. No offense to Nina D or Katherine Pierce, whom I have been calling for years my role model(s) but she wasn’t. I was simply in love with her confident character that then gave me the (some what false) impression that I could get through life if I only looked out for myself and loved until it killed me. The second part almost happened and please don’t think I’m blaming TVD’s character or actress for my issues. I took on that facade myself and looked up to someone who didn’t actually inspire me the way I thought they did. Natasha Negovanlis is my true role model, I say this with confidence. I am more grateful for her than I will ever be able to express.

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baumanelise: No caption needed. @natvanlis (x)

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Link to twitter thread

Background story: Elise learned to cut mat boards and framed vintage prints during quarantine.  With an abundance of them made, she decided to do an art donation giveaway (via @quarantinecharity on instagram) for residents in Toronto who have donated at least $20 to a charity of their choice.  Since it was Canada Day, I donated to an Indigenous women’s charity, to recognize that the way Canada was formed comes with a tragic history on the treatment, assimilation and ostracizing of the Indigenous communities that still continues today.

And now I own what she lovingly and proudly calls “Queen Conch.”  Go go go continue to donate and educate!!!

Donations:

Native Women’s Association of Canada which will be helping out Indigenous women and their families struggling to cope especially during COVID-19.

https://www.nwac.ca/donate/

A gofundme page for Homeless Black Trans women in Atlanta.  They have raised over $2 million and their goal is to establish permanent housing for Trans people in Atlanta.

https://gf.me/u/x3kh8h

Black Legal Action Centre is a not-for-profit corporation that delivers legal aid services to low and no income Black residents of Ontario.

https://www.blacklegalactioncentre.ca/about/about-blac/

Rainbow Railroad helps LGBTQ people escape state-sponsored violence.

rainbowrailroad.org/donate

Glad Day Lit is an emergency survival fund to help LGBTQ2S artists, performers, tip-based workers, and Glad Day (an LGBT bookstore in Toronto) affected due to covid.

https://www.gladdaylit.ca/emergfund

Black Women in Film is having their first annual “Thrive” fundraising campaign.  Donations will go to the implementation, creation and dissemination of their programs run by and for Black women.

http://www.blackwomenfilm.ca/donate

Indigenous Climate Action works on connecting and supporting Indigenous communities to reinforce their place as leaders driving climate change solutions for today and tomorrow.

https://www.indigenousclimateaction.com/take-action

Native Women in the Arts is a not-for-profit organization for First Nations, Inuit and Métis women and other Indigenous gender marginalized folks who share the common interest of art, culture, community and the advancement of Indigenous peoples.

http://www.nwia.ca/about/donate-to-nwia/

Also feel free to tune into @natvanlis​ #NatflixAndChill youtube channel for bi-weekly live reads with her talented friends and “tip” their performance via 

https://www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/live-streams-for-lives/

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Oh the memories

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Hola Creampuffs!

Thank you for continuing to like, reblog, and follow this account. It means so much to me and continues to keep the Carmilla Series spirit alive in my life.

I do apologize for not being active like I should be. I’ve been extremely depressed and even more so with this Quarentine.’I’m dying to leave my house but the outside doesn’t seem appealing either at the moment. I feel so lost and I’m trying to find myself in something. For the last week I’ve been binge watching Supergirl and planning out a business idea for selling a form of art. No, unfortunately I am not going to be doing cam work (I enficise the unfortunately).

Thinking more along the lines of making stickers and Kandi and possibly custom lighters for my Mary Jane worshippers our there. Or people who just like cute lighters for aesthetic purposes. Either way it’s a work in progress and an attempt to make my brain run the creative track for awhile. Something I’ve been missing desperately and lacking much of.

Anyway, I hope those of you that are in quarentine are holding up okay and staying healthy and thank you for doing your part to help stop the spread of COVID-19. I know it’s a very stressful time right now because lack of finances. I’m feeling it too. We will get through this! Thank god Master Cheeto Dust is coughing up tax payer money to help a Bitch out.

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Art.

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“I have to say Elise and I work super well together and we create some real magic on camera.”

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*goes to cuba once*

@natvanlis Instagram 23rd December 2019

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ngl my favorite part of it all was Laura initiating the kiss

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I keep getting big nostalgia feels for two years ago when the Carmilla movie started filming and everyone was freaking out about everything happening and all the wild fan theories and the bingo board and cute behind the scenes stuff

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Uhm YES

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This looks like a must read 🤗

I Know We Only Met (But Let’s Pretend It’s Love) - Carmilla Fan Fic Review & Recommentation

Title: i know we only met (but let’s pretend it’s love)

Author: LMoriarty on Ao3

Word Count: 30k

Chapters: 1

Rating: Teen 

Ship: Hollstein

Tags I’d Assign: #fairy tale #beauty and the beast au  #hollstein 

Author’s Synopsis: There is a story. (Have you heard it before? A girl, a beast, a dying flower. Do you know what happens when the last petal falls?) There is a story, and it is about a girl, one that’s tired of her life, tired of the boy who wants to wed her. Tired of not being able to love another girl. Tired of not having any girls to love. There is a story, and it is about another girl, too. One that’s more thing than girl, more monster than lover. More beast than human. There is a story, and it is about them.

Readability: Easy, well-written prose, with the occasional heightened narrative tone for effect.

Reviewer’s Plot Summary: Stripped down, slightly altered Beauty and the Beast AU. Laura doesn’t want to be the low-class, provincial girl. But she is. (Or is she?) There’s Will, the too-aggressive suitor. There’s her over-protective father, willing to do anything (foolish) to protect her. There’s the fact that there simply aren’t enough books to read. And then there’s Mircalla, fated to a curse thanks to an evil-scheming demi-god. Mircalla, the Beast. (But also, definitely not.) Perhaps, women handle ill fates with more grace then men? It feels like this is a fairy tale we all know. And it is. It is. (But it also isn’t.) Or, maybe it’s both.

Review: Confession: I’ve never been able to stand the Beauty and the Beast story. (Confession: I’ve only ever seen the Disney versions.) Confession: Until this. It’s a bare-bones version of the story, stripped of all the boring parts, but then augmented, and then tweaked on top of it.  (And plus, there’s no singing!) The author gives us a pleasing sense of high-narrative whimsy (though it’s a serious whimsy, not a sweet one), joyously juxtaposed with bouts of here-and-now language.

The story is written in third person semi-omni POV. 

The Good: The heart of the reason I enjoy this story is that it’s a critical satire of the latest Disney version of the tale. (Sorry, Hermione: You’re wonderful, but not even you could rescue this for me. Though, you were great. Really, you were.) The narrative blatantly calls out problems which underlie the primary and secondary male characters in the Disney take, while also asserting that women should be stepping up to claim a legitimate role in changing the world around us. (The more time I’ve spent refining this review, the more I’ve realized just how political a piece this fairy-tale-on-the-surface really is.)

Primarily, Gaston’s (here, Will’s) behavior isn’t buffoonery or a comedic form of narcissism. It’s recognized for what it is: obsessive and dangerous. And LeFou’s (here, Kirsch’s) admiration for a stronger man (we’ll leave it at ‘admiration’ for now, though see the concrit later) seduces him into a passive accomplice. Belle’s (Laura’s) father, Maurice (here, Sherman), takes a slight deviation from the movie, in that he is so unwilling to lose his daughter (feel like a failure at protecting her?) that he disrespects what he knows would be her wishes and allys with an evil man to ‘rescue’ her. There’s no question the author is using this piece to address social commentary at three different types of masculinity.

When it comes to the Prince/Beast, the author substitutes Mircalla, who is still self-pitying, but is far less angry and more humble than The Prince/Beast, and, more typical of a woman who has been victimized, for some reason finds ways to blame herself far more than she should. 

But Belle (Laura)… Here is where the story truly twists. The Beast doesn’t do anything to rescue Belle, or her father, or become the hero. Instead, when Laura is told she has significant power to affect others, to change the world around her, she simply accepts it. She doesn’t assume she’s unworthy of it. She doesn’t run away from it. She respects it. Honors it. Spends time and thought and effort trying to understand how to wield it, not in a reactionary way, but responsibly. 

She accepts it so deeply, that she, in turn, ultimately convinces Mircalla that it’s okay to raise her voice and challenge the status quo. 

The Concrit:  For me personally, the piece waded a few shades too far into anti-male territory. Repeated throughout is the idea that all men (clearly meant in contrast to women) have it in them to be “monsters,” whether through poor character, simple weakness, or stupidity. (And, oddly, even gay men got lumped in with this idea, as being, rather than ‘evil’ themselves, too passive to… I’m not sure what… not be men? Not take a stand?) I disagree with what I interpret the author says on this. There are good men in the world. They shouldn’t be lumped together and stereotyped anymore than anyone else. 

That being said, I don’t deny men are responsible for most of the terrible things that have happened in human history, and are by far still the dominant demographic in that arena today. I’m not blind to this, even though I would argue that it’s a subset of all “man” kind who perpetrate these things, and that other “men” take/took stands to resist to them. But I do actually appreciate this story’s attempt to message younger women that we (and the world) no longer have to labor under the same paradigm, that times are changing, and we can step up with them.

Remember: Please please please… if you enjoy the stories I review and recommend-  whether you’ve only just read them because of my reviews or you’ve read them in the past and these rec’s remind you of them- stop by the authors and send them some love. They’ve given a tremendous amount of their time, effort, and passion to provide us with high-quality, free entertainment that keeps Carmilla alive for us. Let’s thank them. (I’m not looking for props, either: You don’t even have to mention this blog; just send them a note or a comment to let them know they’re appreciated!)

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Together it is.

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Elise Bauman’s Insta Story

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I miss Carmilla and Laura...I want to see more of them and their lives together and being all gay and stuff. I miss the show I miss the movie I’ve been feeling so nostalgic lately.

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Day 25: Tasty

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I love this so so much!!!

“I’m not giving up. But I can’t keep running away. Not after what I’ve done.”  

I’ve always been fascinated by Carmilla’s journey as a character; who she was in the past, who she could have been in another, darker timeline, and who she became. The idea to draw all three versions of her came to me nearly three years ago during the release of Season 3. I started it, changed it, scrapped it, forgot about it, started over, forgot about it again, and then finally had the inspiration to keep going and finish it. I’m so happy to finally be able to share it with the world.

I’m also excited to share that this drawing and several others will be available to purchase as prints at CarmillaCon! This will be my first time attending a con, not just as a fan but as a vendor, and I’m really looking forward to it.