notes-poem-dump

[notes-poem-dump]

Mr. Joker (4/2016)

we’re trying a new format

[notes-poem-dump]

What am I to you? (4/2016)

What am I to you? A good laugh? A good hug? A good talk? Someone to fall back on? Someone you know will lift you up and praise you? Someone to love and to touch when no one else will let you?

What am I to you? Because you are everything to me. A warm smile in the coldest nights. A friend who holds me when I can no longer stand. A love that I do not understand. A touch I miss. A boy I want nothing more than to just kiss.

What am I to you? Will you leave when the time comes? Will I never again see your face? Never again feel the warmth of your arms? Or the strength of your chest? Will we actually say goodbye? Will you let me love you one last night?

What am I to you? I often dream of a future for you and I. One filled with laughter and love and lust. But then I wake up to reality. To the reality of us. Where you're floating on a cloud of followers, and I am sitting back in the dust. Just wondering.

What am I to you?

[notes-poem-dump]

gifts and goodbyes (9/2015)

What are the words that I try to say to you? Because I've lost them every time your chocolate orbs find mine.

And how do I speak to you? Because my tounge gets tied up with thoughts of meeting yours.

Do you actually see me? Because I have somehow become transparent, and as if the feelings show on my cheeks and my sleeve.

But none of that matters. because somehow, as I become a memory to you, you become more of a prominent dream. One I will never be able to fully conquer and complete.

And though it feels constricting and deadly, I crave the thoughts of you.

The idea of your hands, your lips and the presence that you demand be acknowledged.

But does that mean it's the end then?

The knife twisting? The final words? The last greeting of goodbye?

What will I do in a year? when the last place to see your face will be on a page in a shining book with the years on it? Will I cry? Will I allow myself to rid the cravings, the desire of you? Will I finally be free enough of you to move on?

Or do I sit here and let my heart and smiles bleed out in order to feed your forever growing confidence?

Will it be all for naught? Or will you accept my feelings in our parting words?

In wait for that final day of leaving, I will bottle up the emotions hiding behind this mask, only to give them to you wrapped in red and black.

Hope you enjoy my gift.

With love,

Someone who is still undeniably yours.

[notes-poem-dump]

This is my friend,

Who requires attention with no end.

Who believes her worth depends on others,

Even though she’s as irreplaceable as the world’s many colors.

And although she needs attention to survive,

In the silence she’s learned to thrive.

You see her friends sometimes go away,

Going days or weeks without a “hey.”

And during these times she gets a little sad,

And tries her hardest not to feel bad.

But even when she’s all alone,

She tries to make sure her love for others is known.

Cause when her friends are feel down,

She always tries to show them that she’s around.

For if they need her wherever they are,

She’ll always be there for them - no matter how far.