nozdyv

[nozdyv]

hi do people still rp

[nozdyv]

colin ritman fucks

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i watched midsommar and will poulter was in it so now i miss colin :/

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booty shorts that say There's messages in every game. Like Pac-Man. Do you know what PAC stands for? P-A-C: "program and control." He's Program and Control Man the whole things a metaphor, he thinks he's got free will but really he's trapped in a maze, in a system, all he can do is consume, he's pursued by demons that are probably just in his own head, and even if he does manage to escape by slipping out one side of the maze, what happens? He comes right back in the other side. People think it's a happy game, it's not a happy game, it's a fucking nightmare world and the worst thing is it's real and we live in it. It's all code. If you listen closely, you can hear the numbers. There's a cosmic flowchart that dictates where you can and where you can't go. I've given you the knowledge. I've set you free. Do you understand? on the ass

[nozdyv]

[redacted] [unintelligible] [unknown][indistinguishable]

[nozdyv]

ok but he slick af with it tho

       jokes should stop being funny the billionth time they’re repeated, but colin is colin. & stefan thinks colin’s a comedic genius. “ ev - everybody shut the HELL up duke onkled gettin’ it !! ”

[nozdyv]

it’s  supremely  evident  that  stefan  has  never  been  eager  to  stay  in  the  present  moment,  not  before  he  met  colin.  but  despite  overarching  circumstances  or  underlying  pressures,  his  wayward  heart  somehow  directs  him  back  here  --  tucked  beneath  the  security  of  colin’s  chin  and  clutched  loosely  beneath  his  calloused  hands.  and  colin  notes  how  he  trembles  ever  slightly  within  his  grasp  as  the  rage  seizes  hold.  it’s  only  for  a  moment  while  stefan  considers  endless possibilities,  endless  paths  and  outcomes  for  some  invertebrate  bastard  who  dares  call  himself  the  angel’s  father.  with  time  it  will  pass,  and  colin  has  found  that  these  moments  are  far  fewer  and  briefer  than  they  used  to  be.  still  he  clings  to  stefan  as  if  he  is  being  ravaged  by  a  rip  tide,  holding  his  head  above  water  and  calming  his  erratic  thrashing.

and  just  like  that,  they  forget  peter  butler’s  presence  downstairs  and  focus  solely  on  each  other’s  breathing;  steady,  melodical,  as  stefan  presses  the  two  together  and  colin  gladly  follows.  the  boy  has  grown  more  daring  with  colin,  exhibiting  more  willingness  to  make  decisions  in  scenarios  where  he  would  have  formerly  shied  away  from  such  a  daunting  notion.  

colin  cups  stefan’s  chin  in  his  hand,  thumbing  over  his  bottom  lip.  ❛  good  boy,  ❜  he  coos  reverently,  caressing  stefan’s  cheek  with  the  back  of  his  hand  before  easing  his  fingers  into  the  boy’s  curls.  lazily  he  toys  with  them,  looping  his  forefinger  around  the  loose  ringlets.  his  other  hand  finds  stefan’s  waist,  ghosting  the  exposed  skin  there  before  coming  to  rest.  moments  of  solace  are  slowly  becoming  more  familiar  to  them,  and  colin  knows  that  the  young  programmer  has  never  known  a  closeness  like  this  before.  but  that  makes  their  secrets  all  the  sweeter,  these  nights  where  colin  tumbles  through  the  boy’s  window  at  ungodly  hours  so  they  can  lay  like  this  unbeknownst  to  anyone  else.  it’s  like  the  thrilling  high  school  love  that  colin  never  experienced,  hindered  firstly  by  his  ego  but  also  by  his  disinterest  in  such  idiotic  pursuits.  and  maybe  his  fascination  with  stefan  is  stupid,  but  it’s  not  like  colin  has  ever  cared  before  what  god  thinks.  

❛  pretty  little  thing,  ❜  he  lulls,  mystified.  stefan’s  face  now  is  one  of  a  cherub  and  colin  exalts  him.  ❛  so  heavenly.  a  shame,  really,  how  jophiel  belongs  to  god  no  longer,  but  to  a  moral.  tell  me,  stefan,  did  you  cry  when  you  severed  the  threshold  from  the  heavens  ?  did  the  holy  flame  burn  your  eyes  ?  ❜

@nozdyv | “ hey - stay with me. ”

    so lulled in by the radiance of his idolized ( one may even say stefan was sunbathing ) he doesn’t pay the request any mind at first. anyone with half a working brain knew he’d follow colin to the edge of the earth & stay in hell with him if he fancied companionship. & colin was savvier than they & all gods above.

   the lad supposes, if he may assume anything of someone so above him, that there’s worry of his father cutting in. being brought home late sent peter on thousand mile lectures ; you’re obsessed, stefan. being with him as long as you are isn’t good for you.

    DAD KNOWS SHRINKS & PRESSURE. he knows how to grab & pull & force walls down quicker than stefan can rebuild. fuck him.

    stefan tucks his head beneath colin’s chin & breathes him in, his soft exhale ghosting the elder programmers neck. he thinks about hurting peter, bashing his head in & screaming all the things he’s done.

   but his rage allows for softness to grow. pent up need to grab onto something harder than he’s controlled blooms in him by clutching colin ever closer.  arms around his shoulders, legs pulling them taut waist-to-waist. he has control.  he’s not obsessed – he’s happy, comfortable. he’s ALIVE for the first time in years.

     “ ‘m not goin’ anywhere. ” stefan mutters, exhausted.  

[nozdyv]

lit rally too lazy to make a new promo so like or rb this if u wanna interact with colin ritman from black mirror bandersnatch xoxo !

[nozdyv]

>Colin Jumps

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[nozdyv]

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paxcode‌:

[ sms : colin ] sure, mr ritman. don’t mention it  [ sms : colin ] i’ll schedule your meeting with mohan thakur for “whenever you feel like it” [ sms : colin ] in all seriousness uhhh… [ sms : colin ] nvm. i’ll leave u alone now soz!

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] so formal [ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] hey it’s alright i’m not busy or anything  [ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] what is it?

[nozdyv]

tv boy on my tv screen i wanna reach & touch ur jeans but the glass disturbs my dream

made my bf dress up as colin as reference for this drawing sjlkejawfe and now he said he might cosplay him at a con ya’ll i’m hollering

[nozdyv]

paxcode‌:

[ sms : colin ] will it work if i tell him you’ll be returning asap n that you appreciate the concern instead? [ sms : colin ] im ok. u coming back soon tho? [ sms : colin ] salright if not, only asking so i’ll know to keep ur desk organized :)

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] that’s better. good idea. 

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] dont know. depends i guess. whether i feel like it, u know. 

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] so ur my secretary now? nice

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] but fr i appreciate that a lot 

[nozdyv]

@paxcode  /  ✉

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] real shit?

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] tell him he’s a clingy bastard xoxo colin

[ sms : stefan from tuckersoft ] im fine btw hope u are

[nozdyv]

weed guy texted me “loud” and nothing else

[nozdyv]

bandrsnatched‌:

                 LOOK   HERE   !   THE   HELPLESS   LAD   —   mourn   his   indecision.   his   inclination   to   fumble   ,   ANXIETY   but   the   leader   of   his   downward   spiral.   as   if   the   curse   of   ALMIGHTY   ICARUS   soaked   to   diffuse   the   iron   within   his   blood   ;   leaving   him   desolute   to   the   harmful   plague   that   clouded   judgment —   a   wrong  move   but   the   chance   of   damnation   —   WICKEDLY   SO

                 TELL   HIM   WHERE   TO   GO   ?   he   waits   ,   as   if   being   tested   ;   figuring   to   rise   off   an   accord   not   of   his   own   (   nothing   )   reluctance   hinged   on   tired   bones   ,   steady   ahead   does   he   harboring   his   monumental   struggle   with   eyes   casted   aside.   the   TREACHERY   of   ailing   steps   ;   of   looking   between   the   three   options   ;   WHAT   IF   HE   CHOOSES   WRONG?   will   THIS   be   the   catalyst   to   failure   ;   the   decision   that   leads   to   BANDERSNATCH’S   end.

                 it   is   with   dutiful   remembrance   to   colin’s   WATCHFUL   GAZE   he   stumbles   out   an   unintelligible   ’   —   uhm   ’   filler   for   the   silence   that   populates   the   atmsophere.   hazel   flickering   ,   chancing   a   glance   to   meet   colin   before   his   hand   glides   over.   thoughtless   introspection   as   he   places   it   over   the   PINK   FLOYD   album   (   but   was   it   HIS   CHOICE   ?   )   —   “   dark   side   of   the   moon…   ”   spoken   with   tilted   curiosity.   for   perhaps   the   prism   was   his   brain   ;   fused   with   choices   only   refracted   by   an   unknown   benefactor   ,   leaving   him   with   nothing   but   the   spectrum   of   colours   as   his   aftermath.  

a  brow  quirks  amidst  his  otherwise  stoic  expression,  and  colin’s  hand  hovers  over  the  boy’s  shoulder  tentatively  as  he  struggles  to  choose  between  the  suggested  records.  when  stefan  finally  reaches  a  decision,  colin  pats  him  in  an  almost  exaltive  manner,  commending  his  sagacious  intuition.  ❛  brilliant.  knew  you  had  it  in  you,  ❜  he  says  in  a  strangely  monotonous  earnest,  offering  a  nod  towards  the  chair  to  indicate  that  he  wishes  for  the  boy  to  take  a  seat  once  again.  stefan  is  absolutely  the  refracted  white  light.

carefully  he  parts  the  sleeve,  taking  care  not  to  damage  the  precious  vinyl.  he  then  places  it  upon  the  record  player,  setting  the  tip  of  the  needle,  and  the  heart  begins  beating,  cash  registers  clanging,  maniacal  laughter  resounding.  colin  places  the  case  on  the  table  before  he  takes  a  seat  as  well,  his  mind  flowing  with  the  melody,  thoughts  becoming  one  with  those  of  waters  and  his  bandmates.  he’s  indulged  in  this  album  countless  times  (  he  can  recite  it  forward  and  back  ),  sometimes  with  acid,  sometimes  with  a  lover,  a  memory,  or  nothing  but  a  joint  for  company,  but  always  with  his  own  enlightenment.  this  time  he  has  a  colleague  --  a  mentee,  of  sorts,  and  he  knows  stefan  is  ready  for  this.  

in  syncopation  with  the  music,  he  taps  his  index  finger  against  the  velvet  armrest.  he  allows  his  eyes  to  slide  shut  and  begins  bobbing  his  head  ever  slightly  as  pink  floyd  engulfs  his  consciousness  with  existentialist  ideals  and  beautifully  catastrophic  meaning.  he  knows  that  stefan  will  need  it  spoonfed  to  him,  but  colin  doesn’t  mind  in  the  very  least.  in  fact,  he’s  happy  to  do  so  --  looking  forward  to  it,  even.  however,  they  require  a  medium  for  communication,  or  rather,  stefan  does  to  widen  his  understanding.  he’s  a  simple  boy  who  thinks  in  black  and  white.  perhaps  colin  is  the  triangular  figure  necessary  to  widen  the  spectrum  of  color  that  could  be  stefan’s  existence.  he  clears  his  throat  to  catch  stefan’s  attention,  extending  the  joint  in  his  other  hand.  ❛  go  on,  ❜  he  beckons,  ❛  might  as  well  practice,  right  ?  ❜