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The most beautiful footage of strangers dancing in public… https://twitter.com/Thorayaaa/status/1660180658646568967

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"Jadeite Cabbage with Insects" - a piece of jadeite carved to look like a bokchoy with a locust and a katydid hidden amongst its leaves. Originally a gift to the consort of the Qing Emperor in 1889, it is today housed in the National Palace Museum, Taipei, Taiwan.

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Devin Kelly, "My Mother, the Day She Knows the Ones Who Died ​in the Shooting"

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One of the most important things I've learned to look out for when entering any sort of relationship whether it's romantic or friendship is if someone is punishing. I think anger and honesty are so important for our health and being able to say a big "fuck you" to people that hurt or wrong us is quite literally good for our mind, body, and soul...BUT I do not think punishment whether personal or social is something worth risking with someone who strongly believes in it by their own hand. I think a lot of the time it's easy to justify because you think so long as you are both moral and considerate people, then there will be no reason to fear future conflict, but I don't think that's true of people who admit they will go out of their way to get revenge when they feel it's deserved. Justification in general is subjective, so you might think an action deserves a boundary like not allowing someone into your space or life again, and for someone who is punishing that might look like turning your whole social group against you for something you disagree on how it should be handled.

And I really just think more young people in their early 20's who are learning the in's and out's of things like roommates, partnership, and even work colleagues need to understand the difference between someone who will stand up for themselves vs someone who thinks if they are wronged then it justifies anything they want to do in the aftermath if they believe they are the victim.

You actually ARE who you are when you are angry.

If you see someone you love feel betrayed or hurt and you see how quickly they go from standing up for themselves to intentionally trying to hurt someone else in their justified rage and go out of their way to witness their suffering because they feel their own judgement of what that person might deserve should be reality - just be aware that a lot of those times the judgements will be subjective and how someone treats even their enemies says something about their character at the end of the day.

Even if I am confident I am going to be a respectful person, I also know what might make sense to me could be very unjust in someone else's eyes, and the last thing I ever want to be around is someone I know will take their personal feelings or opinion and think they have the right to dictate my suffering or healing. Just being on good terms does not save you from if you end up hurting one another down the road, so you shouldn't tie yourself to people who would enjoy being cruel if they felt righteous.

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*in a group experiencing a Problem, crying shaking and hyperventilating*

oh my god oh Jesus fucking Christ WHERE! Is the heirarchy???? I need a BINARY will somebody PLEASE invent a binary here?

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my experience has taught me that people are always, always hoping that you will naturally and agreeably slide into the mommy maid caretaker role and they will act sososo so flustered and hurt if you actually use the word misogyny to describe what they’re doing.

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You heard it here folks! Having boundaries and expectations about the behavior of people deeply involved in your life makes you fascist, actually!

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got the feeling lately that people can’t wait for me to leave so they can bitch behind my back but won’t say it to my face that they don’t want me around

and this, going into a group trip that involves several hours of driving in very small vehicles full of people. :(

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The Loneliest Job in the World

by Tony Hoagland

As soon as you begin to ask the question, Who loves me? you are completely screwed, because the next question is How Much?

and then it is hundreds of hours later, and you are still hunched over your flowcharts and abacus,

trying to decide if you have gotten enough. This is the loneliest job in the world: to be an accountant of the heart.

It is late at night. You are by yourself, and all around you, you can hear the sounds of people moving

in and out of love, pushing the turnstiles, putting their coins in the slots,

paying the price which is asked, which constantly changes. No one knows why.

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Today I imagined that I may not be so repulsive and offputting after all but perhaps i simply liked the outfit I chose

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I bring a sort of "actually mass traumatic events have an effect on the public's mental health and you're NOT acting in isolation from that trauma, and ignoring it doesn't make it go away" vibe to the party that Americans do not like

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or, How I Learned To Stop Being Violently Angry About The Exploitation of the Labour of my Heart Soul Body and Mind and Love My Employer and Society at Large

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DISSOLVE ALL INSTITUTIONS OF LEGAL MARRIAGE!! STOP TRYING TO CRAM YOUR RELATIONSHIPS INTO THE SYSTEMS OF THE DOMINANT CULTURE AND BREAK FREE! FUCK!

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If you look at me with desire or romantic intent, even for an instant, I think you should develop a spontaneous, very noticeable, very painful skin disease. I should fight anyone like this to the death like that one old dead greek cunt with the running.

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“CP: And also it’s funny cause my dad—like I love him and we’re very close. And I’m very lucky, all you need is one good parent. I think Ryan Sickler said that too. He’s like, ‘You just need one.’ And I agree. You’re lucky to have two, great. You get one person in your family that you can tolerate, like oh my god. And so my father, you know, we had our shit growing up too. But like, the fact that he’s lucid enough to say, ‘You know what, I’m sorry. I may have fucked up when you were a kid here. I may have not done the right thing.’ I forgive. And I’m like, ‘You know what, you’re right. I still love you.’ But the fact that my mother will never have the ability to say, ‘Hey I’m sorry. I think I may have messed up here.’ That’s the fucker of this, is that I can’t get that closure of, ‘Hey, you know you’re crazy right? You know there’s a reason I don’t talk to you. And it’s not cause I’m an asshole and everyone else is a jerk in the family.’ She thinks everyone in the family ignores her cause we’re all jerks. And I’ve tried to tell her, like, ‘Did you really—you not see the commonality, the thread here? Ok, alright.’ And I’ll never get that. That’s what kills me. I’ll never get validation of that. And she’s gonna die physically one day, which is okay. I’m okay with that because she’s dead in my heart. She’s dead to me already. So the physical death—and I hate to, this is even awful-ler— PG: I know what you’re gonna say— CP: It’s a relief! PG: A relief. I had a moment when—the last time I stayed with my mom was like three years ago. And she was gas-lighting me and, you know, just pushing and pulling and she wanted to wake up one morning and she wanted to read like spiritual passages from a book. And this was like ten minutes after her invalidating and poking at me. And I said to her, ‘Mom, I know you want to be closer to me but I don’t feel safe around you.’ And it got no reaction. It was almost like she was looking right through me. And then the next morning I woke up before she did. And I walked past her bedroom door and she was asleep. And my first thought was, ‘I hope she never wakes up.’ And then I felt like a terrible person. But then I’d been in enough recovery to go, ‘That’s not on me. Those are my feelings. My feelings are fucking valid.’ They may not be based in reality—I think they were in that situation—but I need to give credence to them, at least to examine them and go, ‘Am I filtering my fear through something or is this reality?’ And that was reality. CP: Yeah. Don’t you wish we could like talk this every day, all day? It’d be so much better.”

— Christina Pazsitzky, The Mental Illness Happy Hour

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Living with the scent of something big, rotting