nur yildirim | 20 | second yearI just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.
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NUR YILDIRIM | FINAL PARA
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tw: parental neglect
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NATE.
“as long as i’m allowed by my parole officer or whatever the fuck he’s called, i don’t see why not.” nate’s pretty sure that’s his duty as a boyfriend anyway, to be fallon’s date to things like that. and he’ll want to be there for nur, and because he loves a good wedding with the food and booze. “so i’m just gonna assume it’s been more than three if you’ve lost the ability to count.” not that he’s judging, he loves that she’s on her way to being drunk. “juno dressed me, per usual.” he’s helpless on his own. “nah, you summed it up.” he’s not sentimental enough, will just ruin it, instead just tapping his shot glass against hers before downing it.
“Your parole officer better let you! I can talk to him. This is important,” she states, nodding seriously. It’s mainly to herself. Sober Nur knows this isn’t how it works. The more people she knows there, the better, she’ll need people to distract herself with. She laughs at his words, expression turning cutely mysterious, like she’s hiding a secret. “They will end up more, surely. The red wine is really good,” she says. “Juno has fantastic taste. Tell her I said so!” Though Juno probably has no idea who Nur is. Anyway. She taps her shot glass against his and downs it, making a face at the burn it leaves down her throat. “This is... disgusting.” She laughs again.
#a lovely miserable ring to it – threads#nate#its nate handling nur in this state KLJSDFS she rlly would die for him
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ESTHER.
“i hope you don’t cry too much at me leaving, i’ll feel terrible.” esther’s not much of a crier, but she might start to cry if nur does. she’s not particularly sentimental to begin with, but she’s forged some strong friendships this year, and that’s not lost on her. “of course you do, even if you never use it.” nur’s attempt at an instagram baddie vibe makes her smile, but she immediately gives off the same energy for the first photo. “perfect, you’re a natural.”
“If I cry, you will not see it. I’m not letting you feel terrible,” she decides. It’s impossible for Nur not to cry over this. It’s a sad thing and she’s naturally a crier. Nur can easily come up with any vibe she wants to go for, actually, but it’s like an on/off switch for her, there needs to be a reason for that. Of course, she grins at the compliment Esther gives her. “You do one, too. That way we will be... what’s the word? Twinning. Yes.”
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THOMAS.
“ I ASSUME YOU’LL BE DOING IT AGAIN NEXT YEAR ? ” he asks, because it seems like being part of the ppc is something she genuinely enjoys. heaven knows why. tommy’s pleased with her response to being in town, an easy smile spreading on his lips. after everything between them, part of him was afraid she wouldn’t want to see him this summer. “ you’ll like him, i think. you both will. he’s a lot of fun. ” god only knows the weird conversations charlie and nur will have together. “ istanbul, and then we’re taking the train to ankara after a few days. you’re welcome to meet us in istanbul, otherwise your expertise is ankara is enough, ” he tells her, voice wry.
“Of course! I enjoy it a lot.” It’s so much fun getting creative, and it’s a chance to meet new people and it’s rewarding when you see people having fun at the actual event. “I would tell you to join, but I know it is not your thing,” she teases lightly. She think Tommy might crack being in one of those PPC meetings. “What is he like? I am excited to meet him.” She wishes she met him before, during the school year, but it’s okay, she’s always excited to meet new people and form new friendships. “I can meet you in Istanbul, if you would like. I do not want to intrude on you and your brother in case you have set plans or anything.”
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Nur doesn’t think it’s weird someone’s singing Beyonce in the bathroom. What makes her brows furrow is she’s pretty sure the girl is crying while she sings it. Surely, this isn’t the way to sing ***Flawless, but it’s clear the girl is upset. She feels bad coming out from the stall now because she feels like she’s violating the girl’s privacy, but she knows she can’t stay inside forever! Who knows when she’ll leave. She’s already violating it by being in here and overhearing everything. Now Nur wants to get out so she checks on the girl, because she’s actually getting worried. Eventually she gets out and looks at her through the mirror, giving her a smile and moving to wash her hands. “It’s true... whoever it is, they don’t deserve you,” she says then shakes her head, a nervous look on her face. “I am sorry, I don’t mean to make it sound like I was overhearing or something. I was in there...” She points back at one of the stalls.
closed starter for @nurdirim
“Wake up, flawless,” Martina sniffed, guiding her soapy hands under the warm running water. Of course she’s drunk and in tears in the bathroom; it was inevitable with every person from the past year filling one room, reminders of the bright parts and the painful parts. “Post up…flawless….” Her voice was pitiful and glum, whatever good vocal chords she had in her throat tight from holding back tears. But she is okay! She is flawless! “Ridin’ round on it, flawless, flossin’ on that, flawless.” Martina lifted her chin to peer down at her reflection, blurred under the weight of unshed tears, but gathering confidence. She turned off the faucet with her wrist, drying her hands before pulling out her makeup bag. “They said so themselves! They don’t deserve you!” But…why did it still hurt so bad? “Girl, you flawless,” she exclaimed, though she didn’t quite believe it in this moment, and a door opened. Whether from a stall or from someone entering, Martina didn’t know for sure. She quietly shoved her positive affirmations back into her mouth, giving the interrupter a watery, polite smile before turning her attention to her favorite object: a mirror.
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THOMAS.
TOMMY LAUGHS, SHAKING HIS HEAD. “ you almost had me there for a moment, ” he smiles, though it’s clear he’s joking, because he highly doubts she knows how to reach a world famous celebrity. “ well the decorations look lovely. you did a great job. ” he doesn’t really care about the other ppc members and their contribution. “ me too, ” tommy says, although he’s not doing a very good job of it. “ oh, i don’t think i ever told you. i’ve officially booked my travels to turkey this summer, ” he smiles slightly, a little sheepish. “ in about two weeks, and i’m staying in istanbul and ankara. my brother and i are going. if you’ll be around, i’d love to take you up on the offer to show us around. ”
“I know! I was worried you would believe me and tell people about it,” she jokes, her smile widening. Though, how nice would it be to personally know Beyonce? Unreal! “Thank you. I am glad you like them. The PPC really enjoyed planning for it. You can do so much.” He probably doesn’t care about any of this, but Nur enjoys talking about the PPC and doesn’t notice till later that she’s rambling about it. So, she shuts up for now. She eyes widen at the news and she claps her hands together. “You are? That’s amazing. Yes, I’m there all summer. I would love to show you both around. I am looking forward to meeting him! You will love Turkey.” She hopes she’s a good tour guide; she’ll ensure Tommy and his brother have the best time. “Are you stopping in Ankara or Istanbul first?” she asks.
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NATE.
“what, we’re not gonna hang out at all this summer?” obviously they’re going to be super far apart, so he’s mostly just kidding, but he kinda figured fallon and nur might hang out at some point and obviously he’ll be wherever fallon is. “uh huh.” nate doesn’t believe that number like at all. “i’m just not one for fancy, you know me. but it looks great.” that’s the best he can manage, but at least he tried for nur. “okay. what are we drinking to? hit me with a toast.”
“I am going to be in Turkey all summer. Unless you come with Fallon when she comes and visits me. Are you coming to my mother’s wedding with her? You should!” She is definitely not excited for the wedding. Fallon’s presence will be perfect emotional support, and Nate being there as well will make it even more bearable. “I did! Just two! I had... a glass of champagne, and red wine... and oh,” She laughs. “A cosmo, too.” She can’t recall having a fourth drink at the moment. “So that is three.” She pokes his arm. “Well you look fancy, Mr. Mercer.” She thinks for a second. “Okay. Here’s to friends and loved ones who have remained with us during our best times and our worst! Do you want to add to that?”
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ESTHER.
“i’ll certainly remember this year for the rest of my life.” for better or for worse, really, but esther doesn’t regret coming here. she just thinks it’d been silly to think it’s her obligation to better a field she’d never wanted involved in to begin with. “i have complete faith in you,” she says sincerely, mostly still joking, but meaning it at the same time. “no, no, you look like a model nur, you have to give the camera your fiercest face.”
“I am leaving the tears for when you officially leave. I do not want to ruin my make up!” She feels the sadness rising, but she laughs it off in an attempt to keep the ambiance light and fun. “My fiercest face? Do I have a fierce face?” Her brows furrow slightly as if thinking, before she attempts one, something she sees model doing on Instagram. “Like that?”
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ZANE.
“That was exactly what I was going for, actually - thanks for noticing it,” the male beamed, DEFINITELY seeing sense in her compliment but then again, Zane would even enjoy it if people compared him to a butt today. All peach looking things were good. His smile faltered a bit at her question, hand fetching his phone from his pocket. “ How about I snap a quick picture of you and I’ll promise to print it out and put it on my cell wall ? - It’s basically the same thing ! ”
“Perfect! I got it right.” She claps her hands in excitement. She’s had a bit to drink. “The cutest peach out there,” she tells him. Nur hasn’t forgotten what’s happening to Zane after graduation, but in her head, she believes it’ll all work out and he’ll come back next year. “And you will look at it all day? And talk to me through it?” she jokes lightly.
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NATE.
the hug doesn’t come as a surprise, but he still lets out a dramatic ‘oof’ at the impact, wrapping his arms around her in return regardless. “how many drinks deep are you?” tipsy nur is adorable. he pulls away, genuinely considering her question, because nate usually finds this shit pretty lame, but it’s not so bad tonight. “i am, yeah. definitely not the worst party i’ve ever been to. can you handle a shot?”
“You are getting a lot of hugs, Nate! I will miss you over the summer,” she tells him. She’ll definitely be texting him a lot. “Hmm...” She puts her forefinger to her lips as she thinks. “Two.” Double that. She’s lost count. “That is basically a compliment in Nate Mercer’s world. I can take it. Yes, I can. Come on,” She leads him to the bar and asks for two shots.
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RICKY.
– “OH, ODDS ARE GOOD. I MEAN, THEY LET HER ON GALLAGHER’S CAMPUS with minimal changes in what we had to do, it’s like she already knows her way around. beyonce gallagher girl confirmed. ”
“That is a very good point!” She thinks to herself for a moment. “I never thought they would let one of the most famous pop stars into campus. Beyonce looks like an S&F major, do you not think so?”
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ESTHER.
“i like it, gives me some school experiences i haven’t had yet.” esther just thinks it’s a nice idea, though she’s a bit unsure about navigating her chair into the photobooth. “will you help me inside?” she doesn’t ask for help often, but she’s comfortable with nur. “i can do it, just don’t let me fall flat on my face, it looks too nice,” she teases lightly as she starts to hoist herself out of her chair and into the photobooth. “thank you, it’s a favorite i think.”
“Your last party here should be full of events you haven’t had yet. That way when you leave, you’ll have so many memories,” she decides with a nod. “Of course!” She gives her a smile and helps her inside. “I would never. We can’t ruin the dress and the hair,” she teases back and moves to sit next to her. “What should we do first? Just a regular picture with smiles?”
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FALLON.
𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 fallon expects is to be pulled away from nate . but she’s being pulled away by nur so it’s fine ! she laughs at her comment before turning to face her . “ uhh yeah , okay . umm , did you bring any touch up products with you ? we can definitely salvage it . it’s not even noticeable ! ”
“Not everything! It is a disaster, Fallon. I can’t take pictures in the photo booth if my make up is less than perfect.” She huffs, tugging on her best friend’s hand. Everything about her look needs to be perfect. “I can notice it. Work your magic and salvage it please!”
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THOMAS.
TOMMY’S SMILE WIDENS A BIT AT HER LAUGH. “ well there. that’s what i had planned the entire time, ” he deadpans, with a decisive nod, before cracking another smile. “ you guys did well with the party. should i be looking out for any details that were you specifically you ? ” his eyes scan over the nearby snack stand, in case she had made any of them. “ ah, yeah. ” only a moment of hesitation, and he glances back at her. “ it’s bittersweet. a lot of people leaving this year. but the party’s great. ”
“It is very creative! You did not box yourself in either extremes,” she notes, nodding (mainly to herself). “Thank you so much. I’m glad you think so. I was the one to get Beyonce,” she says seriously before a grin forms on her face. “I’m kidding, obviously. Nothing is specifically me, but I helped mainly with the decorations. I like the theme a lot.” She looks around. “Right. I’m focusing on enjoying the night before we have to officially say our goodbyes.”
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RAINA.
“maybe we should, i feel like that would be such a great addition to the party.” though she definitely wouldn’t want to walk around barefoot either, so she’s guessing that maybe it is a good thing they don’t have one. raina’s lip turn into a pout at the compliment, “oh, thanks. i feel like such an imposter but you,” she pauses for an emphasis. “you look amazing!”
“And then you would walk barefoot?” she wonders, laughing softly. “The heels complete the full look!” And thus even if her feet hurt, she will withstand it for the sake of the overall look. “Why do you feel like an imposter? The colors look amazing on you!” She grins. “Thank you!” Will never tire of compliments on her look.
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TIGS.
“ no, just one. ” he doesn’t feel the need to be sarcastic, because she’s always so sincere in response. besides, the spliffs have mellowed him out. “ who the fuck are ricky and esther? ” not that mellow apparently. no aggression, he just doesn’t know who they are. “ no? ” he glances at his watch. “ thought it was nice. ” he stole it from a wall street cunt – a reminder that you may not be the smartest in the room, but you should always know how to outsmart them. “ i don’t fuckin’ care about the drinks or snacks, ” he answers after a beat, a lazy smirk on his lips. he knows she’s a part of the ppc, which is why he doesn’t complain about them. it’s a stupid budget. “ you’re welcome to throw a fuckin’ drink on me – red wine will do the trick. ” he can’t help the hand that rubs the side of his face at her comment. “ why do you always wanna blend in? ”
“Oh. They are both first year siblings. They are Spanish, too. Ricky in Driver’s Ed and Esther’s in AE and R&D. They are very nice people!” she clarifies, though that might not really help Tigs. She doesn’t know why, but she smiles when he glances at his watch. “It is nice. Very Tigs.” She nods as if she got the exact point she wanted to deliver. Her brows furrow when he says he doesn’t care about the drinks and snacks. “Oh.” But then she smiles again, obvious what’s coming next is a teasing statement. “I thought you would like gold macaroons or cupcakes with angel wings on them.” Her eyes widen slightly. “I will not throw a drink on you! It will ruin a nice shirt.” Tone indicates that whatever he’s saying it totally ridiculous. “Though I do like red wine. To drink, of course, not to throw at people,” she clarifies. His next question is a loaded one and she has to pause for a moment. “Because it is nice to feel like you belong, as opposed to being an outsider,” she answers genuinely, looking ahead for a moment, not minding Tigs knowing that layer to her personality. Surely the topic began as a joke about blending in with the gardens, but it’s obvious from her answer it is not about that anymore.
#a lovely miserable ring to it – threads#tigs#me doing this before i have to head out :)#dont match x
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TIGS.
“ nah, gotta send off all my dear fuckin’ friends, ” he deadpans. there’s only one, really. sticking around for graduation and everything. he nods slowly once, still has no idea what she’s talking about. “ right … don’t think we need a fuckin’ song for that. got my watch. ” no offense to queen bey – she’s decent and all, he’s just not a fan of pop. he turns to face her, slipping his free hand into his pocket before shrugging in response. “ it’s alright. ” he doesn’t expect much from gallagher events – stupidly opulent. “ because i’m wearin’ colour? ” he doesn’t think he looks any different, maybe the shirt’s a little bright. “ nice dress – supposed to be your favourite tree? ”
“Do you have a lot of friends that are graduating? Or leaving?” she wonders. “Ricky and Esther are not coming back next year, but I want them to enjoy their last party here, rather than be gloomy.” He probably doesn’t care about any of this, but it’s so easy to let out her train of thought around him, maybe because he listens anyway. “But looking at your watch all night is not memorable, Tigs,” she points out, looking up at him like what she’s saying is obvious. “Do you like the drinks? And the snacks?” Usually, she asks people because she cares to know as part of the PPC, but right now, she cares to know because it’s him. “It’s a brighter color,” she replies. She notices things, sue her. “Thank you. I think I can easily blend in this time, too. It has pink and blue.”
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