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{ hi I'm back and I come bearing gifts. very stressed gifts that just need a night of all play and no work }

{ I like to imagine the 3lsen are fr3aky when they make out. they either have a mile long list of kinks or they just beg you with burning hands and the need to be railed }

{ very long breaks in the back rooms? nah they're having an 0rgy don't mind them. this is a regular occurrence they even scheduled it }

{ the gu4rdians can yell at them all they want but they cannot unf*ck their employees }

{ they're also fun to tease and spoil. Either burn em or sugarcoat them. pick your poison when dealing with a sugar boi }

{ or just give them to sug4r so she has someone to play with :⁠-⁠) }

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{ happy father's day I need B4tter filling me up with 3ggs }

{ i don't think he'd be the best arent considering.. the ham child incident.. but baby b4tterlings... }

{ little duckies, if you will. he'd like to see his m4te swell, it tempts the beast inside of him. }

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{ b4tter cant B34t 0ff until august 15. ch4sity cage and rope binds for my pure boy }

{ he can be 3dged though since we have the prologue, but he needs to hold in his c*m }

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{ so uh.. off remake release date real!! as always have a scenario }

{ so remember multiple pupp3teers having fun with one B4tter? }

{ what if multiple B4tters and one pupp3teer? }

{ what would you do with a bunch of devoted, h0rny and sweaty baseball boys? }

{ I would personally take turns fuck1ng them and make them w0rship my body but I want to hear how you guys would treat them }

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{ the potential add-ons can have in the bedroom... B4tter is a freak he'd probably use them somehow }

{ tools like restraints, cuffs, collars, hell even n1pple piercings or c0ck rings would be hot }

{ B4tter probably plays with them when he's alone too. jerk1ng it with the (circle) boys }

{ or maybe they have a chas1ty competence where they restrain their master for any wandering eyes to look at }

{ or maybe they just "buff" him until he c*ms on the spot }

{ first I was h0rny for the ap3s now I'm h0rny for circles }

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{ me: man I should really start writing down some horni stuff to post here }

{ me at 4:09 am, bathed in sweat: spac3 ap3 0rgy after they land on the purified world }

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{ happy pride! }

{ everyone in off is gay and trans and soon enough you will be too }

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How do you headcanon batter's level of horniness?

I personally see him like... Extremely controlled but very depraved. It almost sickens him, but with the right dynamic, he MAY or may not keep it in his pants. If it comes out, its 100%(i see batter being very all or nothing, kinda like a light switch ::D )

Have the most wonderful day!! Like i said, ur doing the lord's work

{ thank you! you're also doing fantastic I love seeing your stuff in the tags }

{ now for the baseball man and his impure thoughts }

{ B4tter starts off pretty repressed due to his stoic nature. he has a mission, he can't afford to get off while on the job. he needs to stay pure, and pretty faces won't distract him }

{ but even the most holy men can be tempted. b4tter can get pretty obsessed with anyone that can get close to him. I think he's naturally a bit clingy to anyone he likes since he's always been so solemn. needy b4tter my beloved }

{ and when he's alone, that repressed urge comes full force and we get some conflicted feelings, especially if those thoughts are.. not so pure. fight against your nature and get some bitches my fellow purifier. I can be bitches. please date me mr baseball man }

{ after he comes to terms with the fact he can comfortably love people, hes like one of those light dimmers where you can adjust the brightness with a slider. only that but with love. he needs to warm up before the romance and smexy stuff happens }

{ I like your light switch metaphor when it comes to s3x. when the bedroom stuff happens he's either a tender smoocher or he'll lovingly Plow You Into The Floor. he's very controlled but if you give him a reason to decimate you he will }

{ sorry if this is a mess I have Thoughts on b4tter }

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{ which guardian do we think gets the most elsussy }

{ one of them has to pull the most sugar boys, it's practically a competition between them }

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{ related to last post, consider puppyboy B4tter }

{ a j0ckstrap for that massive bat? leather harnesses for those muscles? a tight collar for his puppet neck? beautiful, show-stopping, perfect }

{ now give him puppy ears on top of his signature hat, a fluffy dogtail plug, a cage muzzle for those teeth and a leash to guide him around. finally, we have now achieved the pinnacle of B4tter. he is so guard dog coded }

{ he's a perfect lapdog, barking at any threats but serving loyally to his master. i might give him a "special treat" after his service... }

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{ I need catboy Z4ch in l1ngerie so bad }

{ like chubby manb00bs in a keyhole br4? his titanic 4ss in a skimpy th0ng? thunder th1ghs in stockings? amazing, phenomenal, 10/10 }

{ now give him frilly cat ears, put a cat tail buttp1ug in his h0le, keep that kitty mask on and give him a pretty belled collar around his thick neck. bam, instant upgrade. bonus if he purrs whenever he's in a s1utty catboy mood }

{ I wanna hear this man meow as I f*ck his kitty h0le full of k1ttens. fill his pretty m0uth with "m1lk" after he's been a good cat. <3 }

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{ okay so }

{ if I did write off smut, what would you guys like to read? }

{ need a bit of inspiration, plus knowing someone wants this is nice }

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I can’t think of anything NSFW atm (since I’m recovering myself from being sexually repulsed) but thinking about the fact that nudity is considered a symbol of purity. So it would be funny if Batter just changed his tunic in front of Zach without realizing that it was considered obscene to be naked (as long it’s just Zach and Batter are the only one in the same room)

Batter would be feeling suspicious everytime Zach just smirks at him while he change his uniform

{ ooooooo this is really good }

{ I think B4tter is unaware of modesty since he's not bound by society conventions. like sometimes if you walk in on you changing he'd just stare at you before going back to changing }

{ he'd need to buy new tunics eventually, though there's not exactly a changing room in Z4chs shop. but B4tter despises loose clothing, and who cares if the merchant sees? so when it's just the two of them on a slow day, B4tter just takes off his tunic to try it on. }

{ and this happens a lot since B4tter is pretty oblivious. but boy is he good looking. sweaty muscles, smooth skin, and plenty of alluring scars. dude's no model or anything but Z4ch starts to be a bit more excited to stock up on clothes.}

{ B4tter doesn't know why he hears that annoying chuckle whenever he tries on something. at least Z4ch gets to enjoy the view while he can before B4tter gets a hint }

{ also I wish you a good recovery!!! }

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{ I bring you more Sug4r and a bit of Sug4rB4t for the soullll }

{ Sug4r has very sweet ladyb1ts. a single lick of her p*ssy would make an 3lsen explode. kisses are very sweet too since she mainly eats candy. }

{ speaking of 3lsen, she probably "danced" with a couple of them, but they're freaked out about her whole vibe in her cellar. they end up nearly burning due to how affectionate she can get and how intense she can be }

{ she has small t1ts under her past1es but it's okay because they are soft and fit perfectly in your hands, she is flat justice to me. very soft thighs and 4ss though }

{ she's very casual about s3x, which kinda befuddled B4tter. he could touch her r4ck and she wouldn't mind? he could go topless and she'd cuddle with him? he could do p3netration in her h0les and she was fine with that? they have snacks during s3x? it takes him a while to get used to s3xual affection but he will never get used to her putting animal stickers on his d1ck }

{ do not underestimate Sug4r though. she will tie you up with her dummies and 3dge you until you c*m. she ends up taking B4d B4tter's m0nster c0ck really well by b0uncing on it for hours. her stamina and flexibility is borderline scary compared to her duckie boyfriend, so she's quite the tease when on top. }

{ DO NOT HAVE S3X WITH HER WHILE SHES HAVING A SUGAR RUSH. DO NOT EAT THE SUGAR SHE GIVES YOU. it is awful for anyone not used to the sugar side effects unless you really like drugs }

{ Sug4r is very cuddly after "dances". she'll babble on about happy dreams and blue skis before falling asleep in your arms. she may give you pastries and yummy baked goods after you wake up! }

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{ would it be cool if I }

{ like tried writing off smut }

{ I never wrote smut but after doing a couple prompts I feel motivated }

{ would y'all read off smut??? }

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{ if anyone also wants to give me NSFW headcanons for off or request my headcanons just send me an ask or a private message }

{ I don't bite and I really want friends since you've all been so nice to me!!! }

{ now give me your h0rny headcanons. }

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{ i should post more stuff for the off girls, so have the women of all time. the milf and the silly }

{ the qu33n must have a lot of elegant l1ngerie to compliment her mature and curvaceous figure. silk robes, lacy negligees, gossamer nightgowns, anything to make her feel regal while keeping her tentacles free. somewhere hidden in her wardrobe is a secret collection of leather, latex and plenty of t0ys for more rougher encounters. it's her special little hobby to find k1nky stuff, though she's a bit shy to tell people. also we do not talk about her hidden s3x dung3on }

{ sug4r is a bit more casual when it comes to dressing up. oversized shirts, thigh high socks, frilly panties, things that make her feel cute and comfortable. she will steal your shirts if they're big and have flappy sleeves. half of b4tter's jerseys have been lost this way, but seeing sug4r in his big tunic with short shorts makes him feel things. or she justs wear nothing but pasties to show off her t1ts! nak3d sug4r jumpscare }

{ and of course, they lend eachother outfits from time to time... and maybe share their bodies with eachother while they're at it. }