oldastronomer

[oldastronomer]

Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag

[oldastronomer]

Hey everyone, remember that being sick or healing from injuries is a hard time for your body. You have to eat a lot and lay still and be kind to yourself! [large neon sign that says HYPOCRITE descends from the ceiling and points at me] Hey what the heck what's this who put that there

[oldastronomer]

have you washed your emotional support water bottle recently

[oldastronomer]

dont delete your zero note post. i will be there in 15 hours.

[oldastronomer]

shoutout to slow growers, late bloomers, people whose plans got derailed by circumstances beyond their control or their own choices, people who never had a plan to begin with, people who have had to start over when theyre too old to feel like theyre supposed to be where they are, people who cant pretend theyre built for the environment theyre in, and everyone who's not living the life they thought they would. im proud of you for making it this far and i hope you keep going until youre happy ♡

[oldastronomer]

i was born to have long distance friends but not in the age of the internet. i'll be like "i suck at maintaining long distance friendships" and people are like "well yeah humans weren't wired to be available to everyone at all times. sometimes it takes a few days or weeks to respond." and then i can't go on because i wish i responded to people within weeks. i was born to be a penpal on increasingly dangerous and strange expeditions that you hear from twice a year in lengthy letters which assure you that i'm alive and not much more.

i read your texts huddled in my sleeping bag in the mountains like letters scented with the perfume of a lover. they find me froze to death with my phone open to your most recent music recommendations i forgot to tell you i liked a lot.

[oldastronomer]

would you still like me even if i experienced emotions

[oldastronomer]

“me when i lie” is the funniest way to call someone a liar the internet has cooked up thus far

[oldastronomer]

can I come over and dodge roll into all your breakable furniture

[oldastronomer]

if you're writing and find yourself thinking 'this is too weird/gross/offputting/esoteric/ambitious/catered to my specific interests + sure to push away a broader audience' that is the devil speaking and it is a lie. you are already firmly on the right path and you need to double down

[oldastronomer]

I DESPERATELY needed someone to tell me this as I grew up in leftist online spaces. So now I am going to tell YOU:

If you

Check what you sent over and over to make sure you didn’t say a slur instead of “hello how are you”

Fear that someone will find you thinking not-leftist-enough thoughts and will call you out and ruin you

Feel you have to make your intentions clear and over-explain your actions

Find yourself consistently resisting the urge to engage in reassurance-seeking WRT being a good enough ally to marginalized people

Stay up late endlessly debating political ethics in your head

Have a set of actions that you take after discovering you made a morally wrong decision so that you can atone, which you rely on for reassurance that you are not a bad person

Would rather not make a decision at all than make a decision that is the lesser of two evils, but is not morally pure

then I am gently, but firmly, requesting that you look into moral scrupulosity OCD.

[oldastronomer]

Thank god you asked chat gpt, I was worried you'd google it and read through sources yourself

[oldastronomer]

it is such a bummer when you lose sight of people from uni that you were amicable (but not neccessarily quite friends) with because like. bestie did you ever figure out you were bisexual. how am i supposed to get closure on that now

[oldastronomer]

okay so we have to go back to the basics. men kissing each other

[oldastronomer]

hardison + pastoral suit

[oldastronomer]

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

[oldastronomer]

I think as gamers we can all agree that pointless gay outfits should be a requirement for all video games