oneandocey

[oneandocey]

Bare tombstones,

Mark unremarkable graves,

On a cemetery of promises,

That I forgot to break.

[oneandocey]

I'm getting dizzy,

In the spin cycle,

And soft,

With chemicals,

So much colour I have bled,

Yet I feel no cleaner for it.

[oneandocey]

My neurons sparkle,

Shapes of thought,

Coloured in inspiration,

A firework of dreams,

In the comfort of my bed.

[oneandocey]

My poems can't fix me,

Or the world,

But maybe for a moment,

We can understand eachother,

Just a little better,

And that is warmth enough for winter.

[oneandocey]

Selfmade

I told myself I was not enough,

More times than you ever did,

Filled quiet nights,

With whispered words and loud thoughts,

Moulding myself into me,

The wound you've dealt,

I'd never claim,

But that which I am,

Which I made,

Myself,

Bears my finger prints,

More than it does yours.

[oneandocey]

Lampenfieber

I think I could have shone,

On a stage,

Shown you my shades,

And all the hues of my heart,

But I was raised in the stands,

Close enough to watch,

To want,

Just one outstretched hand,

To clasp,

To clap for me,

Now I'm found wanting,

Wishing still,

To (have) be(en) seen,

Oh what could have been.

[oneandocey]

Why?

A question like bile,

Lodged in my throat,

Burning a hole in me,

I need to know,

That which I know,

I won't understand,

Even if I find no closure in the cause,

Nothing to ease the effects of it's effects,

I at least deserve to know why.

[oneandocey]

Waste of words

Estranged words,

Like cousins thrice removed,

Shaped into poetry,

Flowery phrases echo,

In their hollow cores,

Without cause,

Just spoken to be said,

Not heard,

For there was nothing to hear.

[oneandocey]

Wanting wanting

Between unfinished notebooks,

I lay dreaming,

Of lives,

Where I didn't need to wish to want,

Where my wanting was so vivid,

It could make me real,

Instead all I have is the irony,

Of yearning for difference,

Yet not the drive,

To change.

[oneandocey]

Afterglow

An existence like phosphorescence,

A mimicry of brilliance,

Of past suns and their setting,

You showed me how to shine,

And for a time we dazzled together,

But now that the light's gone out,

All I have left is your fading glow,

Recycling in my veins.

[oneandocey]

I miss the loud things,

Like laughing myself silly,

And screaming songs off key,

Now it's silence that fills the cracks,

Of dry lips and hoarse throats,

While wind and wood,

Grow nearer than friends and family,

Nothing hurts so much.

[oneandocey]

Growing up,

Im growing into,

The folds of my body,

And learning to hold,

The space that long was mine.

[oneandocey]

I don't owe you kindness,

I give it freely,

To have to love,

Is to hate to love,

To gift it,

Of my own accord,

A privilege to share,

That's more than necessary.

[oneandocey]

An honest blade,

Is no holier than poison,

In cruel hands.

[oneandocey]

Feverishly my body burns,

Arsonist unto myself,

Burning the house,

To kill an unwanted guest,

Setting the whole thing ablaze,

Just out of malice for one single aspect,

I wonder where it learned that from.

[oneandocey]

You deserve to be proud,

Of who you are,

And what you've done,

Let no one call you sinner,

For surviving.

[oneandocey]

You deserve to be proud,

Of who you are,

And what you've done,

Let no one call you sinner,

For surviving.