onlywinterhere

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Wang Shuo is rat poison.

Earlier on when WSW put that packet of rat poison, CC noted that it wouldn’t do anything right away, but over time, it would make Xiao Cu Bao sicker and sicker.

I think of how WS poured that tiny innocuous bit of poison ‘love means constantly nitpicking’ and it’s been slowly eating through WSW, making him sicker and sicker with jealousy and despair.

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Okay I need to talk more about the breakup. There was no way around it. I've said this before, but from the first time Chi Cheng lied about being at the hospital Wu Suowei lost trust in him. And until this first lie is cleared up nothing Chi Cheng says can reach Suowei.

And the problem is that Chi Cheng doesn't know that Wu Suowei is aware of this first lie. He might know Suowei is acting out because he's jealous but he doesn't know that Suowei has a good reason for it, that he isn't just trusting Wang Shuo more than Chi Cheng, but that it was Chi Cheng himself who lost his trust.

Because everything else Chi Cheng clears up. He makes his feelings so clear and is ready to forgive Suowei as long as he admits that he actually cares for him. It is glaringly obvious that he doesn't mean it when he thanks Suowei at the end, and if Suowei's mind hadn't been completely shut off because of Chi Cheng's lies he would realize the truth.

We've talked a lot about Suowei's insecurities, but it was Chi Cheng's first lie that triggered these insecurities in the first place.

Honestly their pain is so perfectly mirrored it's crazy that they think they can convince anyone that they don't care.

But the reason the break up scene is so satisfying is that while they both think that now they have figured everything out, and in fact have most of the information, there is this crucial piece missing that everything relies on, a piece of information that is effectively blocking their communication

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no .... yall ....

its the WAY after chi cheng kisses cheng yu .... they both have THIS ONE LITTLE OH SO CHARGED MOMENT ... where cheng yu just leans EVER SO SLIGHTLY in bc he is SO READY and WANTING to go back in for more. and chi cheng's just WAITING and WAITING. holding cheng yu's hand with BOTH his hands Like That, locked in his arm, so cheng yu can't even run away ....... THAT'S THE MOMENT, YALL. before cheng yu gets all shy and giddy and turns away .... goddddd. what could have been if only cheng yu had gone back in and kissed chi cheng bc chi cheng was READY to let him ........

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Here's the thing, this is so clearly a lie, so obviously a fucking fabrication, and yet WSW commits to it so completely and with such conviction - in tone, in vicious word choice, with an unflinching dead-eye stare - that CC can do nothing but take the blow and break.

And the worse of it is that WSW is doing this out of love and sacrifice; a laying down of his own bleeding heart because he misguidedly thinks this is the path to CC's true happiness.

The wording of this fascinates me - it's not an angry "what right do you have to say these things?" but more of a frustrated "these words shouldn't even apply to me!"

Because I think so much of his conviction in this moment is born out of thinking that CC is still in love with WS and always has been, but is in denial about it. He thinks CC's anger and hurt over the 'betrayal' is what is keeping CC from accepting WS back into his life and heart, and that WSW is merely stand in or replacement.

The thing is, this perspective isn't something WSW just arrived at with no reason. In fact, until Episode 18, he was desperately trying to find proof otherwise.

In episode 15, XS makes an observation: if CC really cared about WS and wants to see him, there's nothing stopping him from openly doing so. And in episode 11 we saw evidence of this aspect of CC's character - when WSW calls him 'dirty' for sleeping around, he owns to his past actions openly and without remorse. CC has always been aggressively himself, almost as if to say, 'this is how I am, take it or leave it'. So if he really did have some desire to see WS that is not born out of lingering feelings (as he claims), why doesn't he admit it?

Which makes it all the more baffling to WSW why CC is being so shady and deceptive about what he thinks is CC's (very reasonable) mixed feelings about WS being back. He keeps trying to give CC chances to talk about what is going on, to admit that he is struggling with WS back, that seeing him has awoken some lingering uncertainties, because at least that means CC really is actively coming to some kind of closure and moving on.

And for all that WSW gets mad and hurt at CC for staying out late and lying to him, he's also still so very selfless and genuine in his care for CC. WSW breaks my heart because he really is so very caring in the way he loves, that he does his best to take on the burdens of the one he loves. We saw this when WSW went out of his way to try to help CC get his snakes back, and we're seeing it again now, with his attempts to help CC and WS reconcile. And I don't think this is purely a taunt/a way to show off to WS - I think WSW understands that CC needs closure from the whole situation, and that's why he isn't trying to stop CC from meeting or interacting with WS.

But what he also wants, is some sign, some kind of confirmation that CC's heart is still ultimately his. That CC will still choose WSW in the aftermath, even when all the misunderstandings and confusions with what actually happened between WS and GCY are revealed.

He even admits to XS that he was just using WZ to "make CC jealous" because WSW thinks he can predict how CC is going to act. At the start of the series, despite not really knowing CC that well, he could was so good at manipulating CC, so of course now that he knows CC better, he's going to be even more accurate.

But what WSW doesn't realise is that he's been fooled by an insidious lie:

What is infatuation? What is love? Infatuation is limitless tolerance and forbearance. But love is the opposite: it's unreasonable pettiness. - Wang Shuo, episode 16

WSW does not realise that WS's view on things is not only warped by literal madness and paranoia, but also based on a CC that no longer even exists because his love for WSW has changed him.

So WSW creates the perfect set up, expecting CC to fly into a jealous rage and CC just doesn't. CC drags WSW from his boxing lessons (and some, uhm, not very tender loving care), but then also promptly takes off with WS and xiao cu bao and seemingly stays the whole night with him, only to come back and kick WSW out of their shared home when he discovers that WSW spent the night with WZ. At a crucial moment, instead of possessiveness, CC is responding with distance.

To WSW, it looks like a window into CC's heart is slowly being revealed, and to his devastation, he does not find himself there.

So by the time we arrive at this, WSW is resigned. He's given CC every benefit of the doubt, has given CC every opportunity to prove his love and has been met with disappointment and hurt and heartbreak at every turn. There is nothing here to fight for, nothing but the dying embers of a love born perhaps out of lust or perhaps out of a desperation to replace the person CC truly in his heart of heart wants. And WSW is, at least, too proud to be the shadow of a love to a man who clearly wants someone else.

But WSW also knows his own heart and for all that CC's love may not have been real, his still is.

So he will do this one final thing, he will make it easy for CC to find his happiness.

He will commit to the lie that he used CC, that he does not care for CC, that CC was never anything but a means to an end -- because at least this means that when he finally reveals that WS and GCY never betrayed him, CC can ride off into the sunset happily with his lover and his best friend with no feelings of remorse or regret.

Because at least this way, only one heart needs to be broken, right?

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Ironic how 2cheng manipulating people into thinking them liking each other is a crazy idea by behaving like it's so incompreheinsible they can't even believe their ears is just ANOTHER thing that makes their souls intertwined. Soulmates behavior if you think about it

They're both like: You're kidding, right? All we did was check every single psychology textbook box saying we secrectly want each other's bodies. And you're making this insane accusation? How embarassing for you lol

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Oh? You’re saying this isn’t how the episode went? Revenged Love episode 17 

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chi cheng discovers wu suowei’s secret diary

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Where it began:

at 11:04.

Where it ended:

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me: I ship them

friend: oh like romantically?

me: no. like cursed object passed between hands for centuries, they are cosmically linked, probably bonded by blood ritual, I think they’ve fought in a war together in at least three lifetimes, and their souls make direct eye contact every time they breathe in the same room

friend: so… romantically?

me: yeah. like. with kissing.

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Fic writers, put in the tags what the difference in hits is between your most and least viewed fics. Mine is 7,720 (7,779-59).

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Togawa’s gay agenda. 

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the tiniest smile on cc, while telling wsh about how his heart completely belongs to wsw😔😔😔😔

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vomiting over wsw wearing the lounge set cc bought for him this entire episode sobbing violently over wsw believing in his heart cc doesnt love him so hes pushing him away all the while wearing the evidence of said love literally everything hes wearing is declarations of love from cc from his underwear to his clothes to his watch i need to lie down

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anyway i'm still stuck somewhere between xiao shuai's adoooooorable lil face right here:

and ... oh man .... this moment right here:

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Why did Chi Cheng leave Little Vinegar Bun with Wang Shuo?

I think most people who underwent a breakup has gone through this before: returning of items that your ex had given to you.

Unfortunately, in this case, the item is Little Vinegar. The little snake was a symbol of Chi Cheng's and Wang Shuo's love (along with that python that Chi Cheng killed to save Wu Suowei). Essentially, the snakes were treated like their children.

So, Chi Cheng returning Little Vinegar Bun is indeed symbolic that he is cutting all ties with Wang Shuo.

As for the poor Little Vinegar Bun who got abandoned by his beloved Dad, if the show follows the novel...

Don't worry. Wu Suowei will get his stepbaby back 😄

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🥹💔