or-is-it-all-just-an-obsession

[or-is-it-all-just-an-obsession]

Boo...👻

October 31st, a pitch-black night, and the moon’s shining brighter than usual, lighting up narrow alleys and the rundown, abandoned school where the whole gang decided to meet up for Halloween.

Takemichi with a shaky voice: G-guys, maybe we should just ditch this? This place doesn’t exactly scream “welcome”… Why did we even come here?

Mikey laughing: Relax, Takemichi! It’s just an empty, creepy school. You’re not scared of ghosts, are you?

Draken backing him up: Mikey’s got a point. We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?

Chifuyu: Hey, I heard students started going missing in this school a while back. They never found them, and their parents went on strike to shut this place down. Some people passing by say you can still hear moaning from the darkness…

Takemichi horrified: Chifuyu, why would you say that?!

Baji grinning: Enough talk! Let’s split up and see who finds the scariest thing.

Takemichi: S-split up? That’s exactly how people die in horror movies! We need to stick together!

Suddenly, there’s a strange rustling sound, and everyone freezes, listening closely.

Draken laughing: Oh, maybe it’s those missing students, noticing we’re here.

Mikey smiling: Ghosts? They don’t even know who they’re messing with.

Keeping their cool, the group moves forward, though not everyone has nerves of steel, and a certain scaredy-cat keeps glancing around, eyes wide in the dark. Suddenly, there’s a half-moan, half-scream from behind, and Takemichi yelps.

Takemichi panicking: Guys, can I just leave? I don’t want any more of this creepy challenge!

Mikey: Only if you can catch up to us! Run!

The friends’ laughter and Takemichi’s scared yells echoed down the empty hallways as they dashed away from their imagined (or maybe real) ghosts.

  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ✩₊˚.⋆🕸️⋆⁺₊✧

The school fell silent again, the dark hallways quiet and empty. Outside in the shadows of the back lot, Kisaki and Shuji watched them run off.

Kisaki smirking: Takemichi’s got quite the scream, huh? It’s hilarious seeing him so terrified, especially when nothing serious is happening.

Hanma laughing out loud: I thought he’d just faint hearing that ‘ghost moan.’ Did you see his face? Pure terror! Totally worth it.

Kisaki mysteriously: A little training for all of us. Sometimes fear is the best way to remind people where they stand.

Hanma: Takemichi freaking out – what could be better for some late-night fun? I’d say we nailed it.

They exchanged glances and melted into the darkness, leaving only a faint, barely audible laugh behind.

Is this the end… or just the beginning?

[or-is-it-all-just-an-obsession]

Senseless suffering

Hey! I'm currently writing a school story featuring Kisaki, and omg, how do you stop writing about every little move, sneeze, and the exact angle someone looked at something… I’m like, ‘Okay, I’ll write this part, do a time jump, oh wait, I should add this because it’s super important—hold up, what about that one scene?’ And it’s taking forever, even though I’m already at 3,000 words and haven’t made any real progress. Do you guys even like stuff like that? Feels kinda childish… but hey, I'm still gonna keep going, lol

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"I was never interested in things like friendship. I only dreamed of escaping the life I was raised in, breaking free, and making a name for myself. To earn a fortune and all that. But there was one person who held onto my hand with a firm, unyielding grip, never asking for anything. He didn't look at me in any special way, didn’t make me work for him—just... be? I didn’t fully understand him, but as long as he paid, I’d indulge any whim, no matter how ridiculous.

Once upon a time, we weren’t even friends. He just found me one day, and that was it. I remember well... we were in elementary school, and everyone called him an outcast. I just ignored it all, but then, something started to change."

[or-is-it-all-just-an-obsession]

Adult Takemichi, who runs back and forth saving his friends time after time, turns out to be so-so: So that's what he means...

Shinichiro: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kid Takemichi: A hero

Shinichiro, smiles: I think you’re already there.

Kid Takemichi: Really? But I’m not as cool as you.

Shinichiro: Trust me kid, you don’t wanna be like me.

[or-is-it-all-just-an-obsession]

Death smiles at us all

Beautiful Tokyo of the noughties, the city breathed a mixture of humidity and exhaust fumes, saturated with the smell of street food, tobacco and fresh paint. High-rises stretch into the sky like steel trees, and neon signs in bright, even acrid colors shimmered with lights at every turn, promising entertainment, food and danger. The streets were full of noise: the squeaking of brakes, horns, the hum of people and their quick steps on the asphalt. Everyone is in a hurry somewhere. Everything was mixed in one seemingly endless symphony, in which millions of people lived and breathed.

Teenagers, in turn, grouped at subway stations and slot machines, wore loose jackets with tiger or dragon patches, chains dangling from their pockets, and low-waisted jeans for girls. Street pack fashion was a symbol of belonging, strength, and independence. Everywhere you could find boys and girls with tousled hair dyed bright colors and eyes full of determination, carelessness, or hidden anger.

At this time, among the noise of the street, there was a place where I always found refuge. The motorcycle shop "S.S MOTOR" was small but cozy, littered with motorcycle parts and old photographs. The smell of machine oil and iron created a feeling of peace. It was here that I sat next to Shinichiro, watching him work on another bike of some acquaintance. A strange combination of circumstances brought us together a couple of years ago and since then I have followed him like a faithful tail. Shin-san has always seemed to me to be the center of the universe, became a family, finding me in the chaos of Tokyo

"Hey, give me the key for ten," Shinichiro squatted by one of the bikes and glanced in my direction. His voice sounded familiar softness, mixed with fatigue.

Silently handing over the tool, I felt how the hot air of the store and the hum of its work created a sense of security, time flowed differently here.

"You know, you remind me of me," he grinned, wiping his oily hands on a rag. "I was like that too - clinging to someone, thinking that this is how I could find my way."

Averting my embarrassed gaze and hiding my face, I asked. "So what, did you find it?"

Shinichiro laughed, and his laughter was as warm as ever. "Not really. But you know, sometimes it's enough just to be around the people who are important to you."

I did so, stayed by his side, sometimes began to make fun of him with Waka-chi and Taka-chi. At such moments, I realized that it didn't matter if he was a hooligan, the founder of the Black Dragon, or just the owner of a motor store – for me, he was everything, the place and people changed, but I stayed close.

"If it weren't for those damn boys"

August 2003. Evening was descending on Tokyo, and the street lights mingled with the darkness. The small shop was a bright spot among the shadows and seemed almost cozy, despite the shabby sign and the eternal smell of oil. No matter how hard they tried to send me home, I still stayed with Shinichiro.

"Come on, it's late, go. I'll close it soon and catch up with you," he said, adjusting the collar of his work jacket. His gaze was soft but insistent.

"Shini-san, come on, where am I going to go alone? You know I'm going to stay," I replied with a grin as I sat down on the toolbox.

He only smiled, shaking his head. "Well, well, that's enough. Come on, I'll close the store now"

Reluctantly, I got up and pretended to leave.

"Let's go to the grocery store on the way"

"Okay!"

But as soon as we moved a couple of steps away, we heard a crash behind us. We looked at each other, realizing that the sound came from his store

"Something must have fallen," Shinichiro stiffened. - "Go ahead, I'll quickly check and catch up with you, okay?"

"If someone robs you, what will you do? Even I'm stronger than you," I said, trying to defuse the situation.

"What if we go together and get into trouble? You'd better wait here."

I sniffed in displeasure, but nodded anyway. "Just don't linger, okay?"

He turned around and ran back to the store, leaving me alone. "And how long should I wait..." - I muttered under my breath, but I did not receive an answer.

After standing for a couple of minutes, something inside me began to sound the alarm, not coming up with anything better, I headed for the store, but what I saw stopped time.

Shinichiro was lying on the floor, passed out, and two teenagers were standing above him, not recognizing them in the dark immediately, I was only worried about Shin. I ran to them and pushed away one guy who was already sitting in front of the lying body.

"Why are you standing like idols, call an ambulance!" - a scream escaped from my throat, which seemed to bring them back to reality. And I realized who they were - Baji and Hanemiya.

Baji was trying to find the phone, and Hanemia was saying something under his breath, I wasn't listening, I found the phone in my uniform pocket and handed it to Baji, his fingers trembling so much that he could barely dial the number.

"This... it shouldn't have been like this," Baji muttered.

"Seriously? Is that all you can say now?" my voice trembled.

"It's all because of Mikey. So if you don't kill Mikey, then..."

I grabbed Shinichiro's head and pressed against his chest. "Shini, please wait for the ambulance, everything will be fine..." - my words sounded more like a plea. His skin was cold, and his breathing was becoming more and more shallow.

He smiled, with the same gentleness I had always known. "Forgive me... I will not be able to keep my promise..."

"Shut up, don't you dare say goodbye anymore!" - I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I forced myself to hold on. "Everything will be fine!"

Sirens sounded in the distance, getting closer with every second, but the world inside me collapsed. Shinichiro's head became heavier, and his chest stopped rising. All the subsequent events flashed before his eyes, as if in a fog, he was taken away on a stretcher, Baji and Hanemiya were handcuffed, it turned out that the police arrived along with the ambulance. Their faces were filled with shock and guilt.

When I was asked about what had happened, I answered mechanically, giving the necessary explanations, but even when I was sent home, there was an empty, icy feeling inside me, I did not know what to do next.

All the days merged into one single lump, which repeated day after day. The day of the funeral was gray, covered with clouds, not a single ray of sunlight was released. Various people from the family, from the gang, those who somehow knew him, gathered. Someone's tears and whispers sounded everywhere like white noise, but I did not understand, or maybe did not want to understand them, the words seemed meaningless, distant and foreign.

Standing in the midst of the crowd, I felt as if I were alone on this earth. Everything that had seemed important before disappeared in an instant. My beam of light that had guided me through the darkness suddenly went out, leaving me alone again. Everyone had families, friends, people they could rely on, and I had only him. Shinichiro. And now he is gone.

Only one soap tormented me, that everything could have been different if only I had not let him go, insisted on going with him.

My body seemed to be moving on autopilot, and I walked over to the tombstone, looking at the engraved name. The smell of damp earth, of a freshly dug grave hung in the air. The flowers placed at the foot seemed so bright against the gray day, but even they could not dispel the darkness inside me. I didn't want to believe that this was the end.

"You'll stay in my heart forever, Shin," I whispered softly, clutching a small bouquet in my hands. My words trembled in the air like leaves in the wind. "I'll never forget you..."

The life in me stopped, and each new dawn seemed like just another reminder that nothing would return, and the world around me remained the same - the same streets, the same store with the smell of oil, the same empty conversations with people whom I almost did not notice.

When someone who was the meaning of your existence leaves, you are left with a void that nothing will fill, but I was not the only one who experienced it. Manjiro, Shinichiro's younger brother, suffered just as much, if not more. If Shinichiro was dear to my heart, then his younger brother had a special place for him, in return and for him, he was also everything. He replaced his parents, became his support and protection, and now he has been taken away from him. I knew him for a long time, from Shini's stories and from rare meetings. The little blond boy, with a wide smile and sparkles in his eyes, now looked like a shadow of himself. In his eyes, so similar to those of his brother, melancholy and fatigue also settled. We were both drowning in our pain, but each in his own way.

On the rare occasions when I was at Sano's house, I only appeared to chat with Shinichiro, but now I avoided this place. I thought that by avoiding I could run away from my pain, but one day everything changed

Late at night, walking around native places, suddenly heard the roar of a motorcycle. For a moment, my heart, but turning around, I saw Manjiro. He raced down the street like a ghost. His face was pale and tired, and his gaze was blank, like that of a man who has lost his bearings. He drove past me, but almost immediately slowed down, looked at me as if he was trying to remember who I was.

"Hello," I said awkwardly, my voice sounding strange and hollow.

"Is that you...?!" his voice was hoarse, filled with doubt and fatigue.

We froze in silence, not knowing what to say to each other, probably both were too absorbed in our thoughts and pain. Now I thought about the fact that I looked terrible - eyes swollen with tears, carelessly disheveled hair, and I also don't remember the last time I washed my face.

"Will you ride with me?" his question sounded strangely confident, and I nodded. Tokyo at night has always been a place of delight for me, when the whole city shimmered with various lights, sparkling in the dark, reflected in the river, and all this created the illusion that heaven and earth merged into one magical space. It is a city of contrasts: ancient temples and nightclubs coexisted with each other, creating a unique and inimitable appearance. It was a city that never slept, a city where everyone could find something for themselves.

The motorcycle carried us through the glowing streets, and for a while, the cold loneliness receded, dissolving in the noise of the city and the soft whistle of the wind. A couple of hours later, he dropped me off at my house. During all this time we did not exchange a word, but this trip was like a breath of fresh air. And I fell asleep a little calmer than usual.

It became a habit, the next night we also spent driving through the streets, again without saying a word, just enjoying the silence and scenery. This was repeated over and over again, until one day, sitting by the river, Manjiro spoke. We started with little things - about school, about how we spend our days. I found out that he was either sleeping or walking with the gang, sometimes riding alone.

"At school, I usually sleep, eat, and then sleep again. If it gets boring, I just leave," he said with indifference, but in his voice you could hear that he didn't care about all this.

Once we arrived at the night beach. The sound of the waves was soothing, soft and melodious, in the darkness the waves lapped against the shore, leaving a wet trail in the sand, and the moon illuminated their path. Sitting next to each other, we listened to the sound of the sea. It was one of those moments when the pain receded. Such trips have become islands of happiness, making you feel that life can be calm.

Quietly singing the tune of familiar songs, I plunged into my thoughts, at some point I noticed that the person lying next to me began to feel sleepy, and his eyes slowly closed.

Such habitual trips brought us so close that he no longer let me go. If I wasn't around, Manjiro would find me himself, as if he couldn't stand being alone. Our nights began to be filled with conversation, sometimes silence, and sometimes I sang him lullabies that seemed to soothe him and bring him peace, he seemed to forget his pain, and his face, even for a brief moment, became calm.

But no matter how hard I tried to lull him to sleep with my song, he still followed the path of his older brother. With his gang, he gradually conquered territories, creating his name in a world dominated by fighting and force. He burned with a desire to become someone significant, perhaps a worthy heir to Shinichiro.

If I had the opportunity, I stayed by his side, watching him lead his people. He introduced me to the other founders, but there was one with whom we don't talk about the events of that night, both realized that it was a taboo topic that neither of us brought up, Baji, sometimes I helped him with his homework. In my head I understood that he was not to blame, but the flame of anger and resentment burned in my heart. Another nice guy, Mitsui, often hosted me at his home, especially when I escaped from my own house, staying there and helping to look after the sisters when he needed to leave for another meeting.

The illusory normality of life, which briefly showed part of something normal and that despite all the difficulties, remained relatively peaceful until one day Hanagaki appeared. His presence was a breaking point, the beginning of something dark, as if fate had decided to test us again. With his arrival, everything began to change, and a series of events followed, which brought only pain and suffering. Everything spun again, as if in a vicious circle, where dark days repeated one after another.

Each fight, each new conflict, has only taken us further away from the moments of peace that we were building. And each new death of loved ones distanced Manjiro further and further away, and each new day he had to put on a heavier mask, and his eyes, once alive, now resembled emptiness. It was like some kind of déjà vu, as if everything we had experienced before was coming back, and we were going through the same painful cycle over and over again.

The only thing that remained was the expectation of an end that seemed to never come.

[or-is-it-all-just-an-obsession]

Don't look for me

In 2017, Takemichi accidentally travels 12 years into the past and if he wants to save Hinata, he must join "Toswa" to deal with her threat in the future. But as he gets to know the gang members and gets closer to them, he wants to save them all more and more, and for this he needs to save Mikey.

The year is unknown. Takemichi is damn tired of everything, he couldn't save anyone again and he wants to finish everything as soon as possible. But it seems that life has decided that until he saves everyone, he will not be able to die.

No matter how much he moved back and forth, he saved one, but lost another, and so on from time to time. But it was especially hard to see Mikey sink deeper and deeper into the darkness each time. It was as if an invisible force was pulling him along, and he was powerless to change anything.

Sitting on a bench now, his head in his hands, he was pondering what he should do this time, and what to do, when he heard singing reach his ears. The voice sounded like an echo from the distant past, and it made him raise his head and look around. He remembers it, but not to whom it belongs. Walking towards the sound, on one of the buildings he saw a large screen on which there was a beautiful girl who was singing a not very beautiful song.

"You're a worthless, the most worthless child in the whole world

You would be dead if it not for

A sad, sad washout good-for-nothing

You're a worthless child and I'll save you" *

Her fox grin and eyes that seemed to look into Hanagaki's soul made it clear that her words should be taken personally, piercing needles into his heart only hurting more. He himself knows that he is a loser, but at least he tries his best.

"Why does this smile seem so familiar to me?" he thought, trying to remember. Memories surfaced in fits and starts, but no matter how hard he tried to grasp them, they seemed to be blocked.

"Machigai will be waiting for you next week at his concert at the Arena Roppongi Hills," the announcer's voice rang out, interrupting the song. Takemichi frowned, trying to figure it out. The broadcast continued and Idol greeted the audience and invited them to attend her concert.

"Machigaeru... Wait, it's her! Right before announcing the gang showdown in the news, it was mentioned that she disappeared in my 2017. So everything is fine here... This is pleasing.

But then the pieces of the puzzle began to form in his head. In every timeline, those eyes and a smile followed him, in each of his failures, he saw it as if willy-nilly stumbling upon posters, banners, and mentions in television programs. And how he hadn't noticed it before.

He even remembered how he was almost killed once, the last thing he saw was her fox smile with red lipstick before closing his eyes. She sang something even then... But what was it? He tried to remember the text, but again everything faded before his eyes.

"Who is she?" - this thought haunted him. Why does she appear in every timeline and have the same expression on her face every timeline? As if she knows more than she shows. Maybe it is related to what is happening? Or is it just a coincidence? The more Takemichi tried to figure it out, the more he felt that the answer was somewhere very close, but as soon as he stretched out his hand, it slipped away.

He looked at the screen where her performance was coming to an end. Her grin now seemed to him not just the smile of an artist. There was something ominous about her, like a warning or a challenge. "Machigaeru... Error... But whose mistake?"

*Kikuo-Kimi wa Dekinai Ko