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A Holy Maiden's Guide to Getting Kidnapped by Katy Nyquist

Rating: Hard DNF at 5% / 17 pages. Ysabel spent one day of her life (and 30 minutes of my eyeball time) on my Kobo.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Releases 17 June 2025.

Not recommended unless you can really buckle down for quirky narration. If you read a lot of pulp romance (this is not derogatory, this used to be me), you might like this.

Synopsis:

A Holy Maiden should never drink, get kidnapped, nor kiss a Dark Lord, but Ysabel is breaking all the rules to escape her fate as a human sacrifice. In a world where magical powers are commonplace, Holy Maiden Ysabel is revered as a goddess among her people. She’s the only one able to heal the sick and injured with a simple touch. But her spectacular gift comes at a steep price. For each person she saves, she loses a day of her own conscripted life. To add insult to injury, she’s supposed to maintain a pure image even though she’d rather drink and play dominatrix until her sorrows fade away. After the corrupt

I haven't felt this poorly about a romance I willingly picked up to read in a long while. The main character's inner narration is overly modern (barbecue, neurological disorders [including Prosopagnosia verbatim], "go fuck himself with a cactus"). Don't know if this is a manifestation of the Tiffany problem, but I was pulled out of the story at least once every few paragraphs. The world would have the potential to be interesting if the main character acted less like an expository mouthpiece for every unknown noun and incoming consequence. The setup and premise for the story are very interesting, but I feel like I'm reading an unedited Wattpad manuscript. I'm unsurprised but still disappointed that the delivery did not live up to the premise.

The main character Ysabel is in her head for the entirety of the first 5%, so even while she's tending to other people and engaging with the world around her in a supposedly interesting way, you just can't escape her narration, which is oversaturated with self-pity and inescapably internet-era snark.

One part I did enjoy is when she went into Cardinal Jiang's office -- there's some very interesting back-and-forth if you ignore the inner monologue, as well as some good sentence-level prose. Some descriptions (of Cardinal Jiang, of the boy with a scraggly beard, of Alvira) are apt and snappy. The fact that a Dark Lord was also just hiding in the infirmary wardrobe is pretty funny, but he's a bit too roguishly dashing and honorable for someone who is probably actively dying lol. I imagine that, if I were able to move past the style of the writing, I would find the characters very charming.

I could see people liking this book if they are in dire need of a snarky romantic heroine, explicit disabled rep that is potentially a focus of the book, and a quirky narration style. If you need strong prose quality to enjoy a book, I do not recommend it.

started 28 Mar 2025 / finished 28 Mar 2025

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The Mercy Makers (The Moon Heresies #1) by Tessa Gratton

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Releases 17 June 2025.

Rating: 4.75 schemes out of 5!

Synopsis:

Iriset is a prodigy and an outlaw. The daughter of a powerful criminal, she dons her alter ego Silk to create magical disguises for those in her father’s organization, but she longs to do more with her to enhance what it means to be human by giving people wings, night-sight, and other abilities; to unlock the possibilities of gender and parenthood; to cure disease and even to end mortality itself.   Everything changes when her father is captured and sentenced to death. To save him, Iriset must infiltrate the palace and the empire’s fanatical ruling family. There, she realizes she has a chance—and an obligation—to bring down the entire corrupt system. She'll have to entangle herself in the lives of the emperor and his sister, getting them to trust and even to love her. But love is a two-way street, and Iriset’s own heart holds the most mysterious and impenetrable magic of all.

Review under the cut! Recommended for fans of lush prose, relentlessly horny main characters, and intricate but squishy world-building.

OOOUUGH YOU WANT TO GO READ THIS BOOK SO BAD! I will be picking up a physical copy of this book when it comes out in June, that's how much I loved it.

This book follows Iriset, a character who has always been in control of her identity (or rather, identities) and circumstances, and who has always been able to wield her powers in whatever way benefits her and her family. She's suddenly thrust into a world where she is beholden to the whims of a hypocritical ruling class, the leaders of whom she begins to like very much. While we don't get to see Iriset as in-control as I would like, she is very much unapologetic and principled about how she pursues knowledge despite the threat of persecution from those around her (even if she does it secretly). She never shakes off her complicity in certain events, but she does give explanations that put her actions into context. She loves her power and her capability, and she does not hide that from the reader. The only reason she hides it from the people around her at the Vertex Seal is because she needs to scheme her way out of the Vertex Seal.

As the book proceeds, she falls deeper into circumstances she can't control (forced to take on a new identity, hide herself, hold her tongue, scheme away from any eyes, falls in love with an unwitting husband), but it feels like she very much empowers herself despite it all. In a way, she might be a Mary Sue, but Iriset definitely does have her faults, sometimes not really considering all angles of arguments opposing her actions.

Lyric and Amaranth (especially Amaranth) are also wonderful characters. I like how Lyric wants to wear his heart on his sleeve in his interpersonal life, as a kind of call back to his "true nature" (priestly, soft), but commits himself to brutality, ruthlessness, and being what he thinks of as a "good" ruler when he deems it necessary, especially after he finds out about Iriset's impersonating Singix. Amaranth's ambition is one of my favorite things about the book, as she gathers power, control, and political stability with relish, seizing every opportunity she can, regardless of how wise it is. The fact that they are jealous of each other's jobs is so delicious, and Gratton does really play into that irony.

One thing I didn't appreciate about this book was the pacing. The time between Iriset's arrival in the palace and her stepping into the role of Singix could have been condensed much more. A lot of the story's momentum does fall in the impersonation side of the story. I also don't think that some of the religious "codices" (? The parts where Gratton is just outlining the religion) could have been omitted without losing too much necessary context.

The world building has the vibe of Renaissance-level science, where ideal numbers and the four "forces" rule over all architecture, social structures, and inventions. I do like how nebulous it feels, as it gives Iriset room to fight against the more hypocritical/nonsensical parts of the science, especially those tied into the state-imposed religion, which plays a very large part in how the empire oppresses its conquered people.

Anyways: read if you love some good fantasy in the vein of Scott Lynch's Lies of Locke Lamora or Alexandra Rowland's A Conspiracy of Truths. It did take me a while to finish this one, but that just gave me more time to appreciate it and think through what I liked about it.

started 11 March 2025 / finished 13 May 2025

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(Almost) all my bird artworks ⭐️

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Art by jinglin Xu

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excuse me, who are you? excuse me, who are you? excuse me, who are you?

prints available June 9-16

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Heart of the Forest 🍂 - ig | bsky | twitter | commissions | prints

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A SUGGESTED READING ORDER FOR TAMSYN MUIR'S SHORT FICTION FOR LOCKED TOMB FANS

1. The House that Made the Sixteen Loops of Time. 5k. It's short, it's the very first thing she published, it's sweet, you can think CamPal thoughts while you read it.

2. The Magician's Apprentice. 4.8k. Let's get into it. Simply one of the best things she's written, has all sorts of echoes for the Locked Tomb and altogether a barn burner. (tw: grooming)

3. Chew. 3.7k. Zombie fiction set in WWII. (tw: sexual assault)

4. Union. 5.5k. I love Union and think it doesn't get enough hype. Deeply, deeply Kiwi and also quite unsettling. A great follow-up to Nona.

5. Princess Floralinda and The Forty Flight Tower. 216 pages. A novella, get it from your library or as an ebook, alternatively, Moira Quirk does a great job with the audiobook. This is a fairy tale satire, as pointed and black-hearted as you can imagine. A main course & a must-read.

6. The Woman in the Hill. 3.9k. I'll be honest, I think this one is skippable, but then you can say you've read them all. Lovecraftian horror, told in an epistolary format between settlers in the New Zealand bush.

7. Undercover. 59 pages. Plop your money down (or find a pirated version), it's worth every penny. A undercover cop risks her life to investigate rumors of a ghoul in a gangster's speakeasy. Blood, devotion, deceit--everything you could want in a TMuir story.

8. The Deepwater Bride (links) Dessert. Available through hoopla, your local library or several ebook anthologies. Teen Hester Blake, from a family of seers, determines that blonde, Converse-clad Rainbow Kipley is destined to be the bride of an uncanny god. 22 pages and it'll change your life.

BONUS: self-published webcomic APOTHECIA, illustrated by Shelby Cragg. Space monsters, teenage girls & corruption, oh my.

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Oarfish

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Art by Ryan Thompson

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Heart of the Forest 🍂 - ig | bsky | twitter | commissions | prints

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The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

*This is a review of the entire series, comprised of 5 books including extra short stories.

Rating: 3.75 adorable resurrected corpses out of 5!

Synopsis:

Wei Wuxian was once one of the most outstanding men of his generation, a talented and clever young cultivator who harnessed martial arts, knowledge, and spirituality into powerful abilities. But when the horrors of war led him to seek a new power through demonic cultivation, the world’s respect for his skills turned to fear, and his eventual death was celebrated throughout the land.

Years later, he awakens in the body of an aggrieved young man who sacrifices his soul so that Wei Wuxian can exact revenge on his behalf. Though granted a second life, Wei Wuxian is not free from his first, nor the mysteries that appear before him now. Yet this time, he’ll face it all with the righteous and esteemed Lan Wangji at his side, another powerful cultivator whose unwavering dedication and shared memories of their past will help shine a light on the dark truths that surround them.

Review under the cut!

I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this series. On one hand, it starts as the strongest of MXTX's series, thematically and structurally speaking, but it feels like she got tired of writing manipulative villains who are 5 steps ahead after Book 3 (after the arc with Xiao Xingchen and Xue Yang), or at least, tired of Nie Huaisang. I really admire how deeply she drives into how biases (especially fear), protection of public reputation, and greed drive large-scale retaliation, rather than actual danger. The tragedy of Wei Wuxian's past is felt very deeply through that lens, and so the present timeline where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji resolve their misunderstandings feels all the more satisfying and sweet. Lan Wangji's devotion to Wei Wuxian is conveyed very well, even as he shows very little emotion to the people around him. In a way, it felt more impactful than Hua Cheng's devotion to Xie Lian in MXTX's other series, Heaven Official's Blessing.

I also enjoyed the "mystery of the week" structure of the plot, up until the last few arcs. As the series moves into the wrap-up arcs of the series, it feels apparent that MXTX did not have a cogent plan for wrapping up the series. The various subplots are all driven by two manipulative masterminds, one primarily in the past and one primarily in the future. While Jin Guangyao's schemes and manipulations are well-detailed to make the past timeline complete, Nie Huaisang's schemes are all but omitted, given that Jin Guangyao got a pages-long monologue. In fact, I was surprised by how much MXTX left to the imagination about his machinations in the present timeline. I would have loved to see some sense of catharsis from Nie Huaisang, rather than him continuing to cower from everyone as his machinations culminate. Would have also have loved it if Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji didn't disrupt the entire dramatic conclusion with their being obnoxiously at love, but I did find the humor to be a bright spot in Book 5.

[And this is not a novel thought, but Nie Huaisang being the next leader of the cultivation world is kind of a huge L for the common people. Jin Guangyao, for all the tremendous sorrow he inflicted on others, seems to have been the only character interested in systemic change to protect the common people.]

The extras were relatively boring, or maybe I was just checked out because I was disappointed by the quick wrap-up. The ending (where WWX can't help but respond to LWJ as he falls asleep) is very, very sweet.

All in all, if I'm to compare this book to MXTX's other work, I'd say that Wangxian ranks second behind BingQiu (unbeatable in terms of charm), and the plot of the book ranks second behind Heaven Official's Blessing (by virtue of HOB having more consistent pacing; otherwise, Grandmaster would have been my #1).

started 2 April 2025 / finished 5 May 2025

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Long time no login! An update for my future self to shake my head at:

I've got a slew of reviews I'll post over the next few days (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, The Mercy Makers, The Last Hour Between Worlds, The Salt Grows Heavy, How to Survive as a Villain, perhaps more) so that my archive is updated.

Have been consumed by webcomics as well recently -- Hounds of Sisyphus has me by the throat.

Disappointed by the Infinity Nikki 1.5 update for reasons well-hashed elsewhere. Monetized dyeing, c'mooon -- what was the Bullquet event even for??

Writing Dragon Age Inquisition isekai fic in the year of our lord 2025. MC is one of Leliana's agents.

Murderbot show in 2 days :)

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this post was made unrebloggable, so im stealing it

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04.05.25

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Something dark, crossing over.

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Finished just in time for the Spring Equinox! Inspired by a painting of Ferdinand Knab, a study on colors with a twist with the Naiads in the lake.

Happy Spring Equinox everyone! 🌸

Exercise inspired by @monstermonger, go check their art out!

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Strong and brave 🤍