osheen

[osheen]

"Epiphanies in the most breaking moments of my life have brought me here " was the lowkey thought in my mind whilst staring into the abyss ,i was in acceptance of my emotions and yet feeling every tiny bit of them ..... Tapas was about burning , feeling the pang of a fire corroding every aspect of my identity, and burning away everything i tied myself to ... It was immensely painful watching it all turn into a grey dust , a fire in quietude screaming this be the truth of every other thing i considered mandatory...

It was in kashi manikarnika ghat , watching the beautiful, the rich, the powerfu,l the meek , the intellectuals with impressive iq s the autistic , the black the white ..all of them grey , their legacy turning insignificant and , the wailing that triumphed the departure of soul ...

It was then i realized tombs are more pious than the temples .. for you visit the latter for the fulfilment of your desires , the former will teach you to liberate from them !

The skies had turned from dark to a crimson hue , the ashes around had turned a bit cold now , still a few pyres burning away some more robes of the soul , the dead that i sat on looked smashed from my heavy flesh , my lips still receting his name , like it was woven with my breath now , nd my existence liberating into the air around everything delusional i tied myself to !....

[osheen]

My family being shaivaites from ages , my westernised mind was an atheist, unless 7 years ago , this day !

I remember being at Kashi , the intensity of the place ,the fire of manikarnika ghat burning my grandfather's body , my childhood memories of him were nothing but ashes and smoke that day , i knew mortals died , but it wasn't unless then I had the realisation of it , human sufferings were taking over me , I didn't know the way outa pain that his demise had brought to me , on the other side of the ground beyond the carnal beings burning away , was his image painted as majestic as magnificent, he who smears ashes onto him , as if asking us to accept the truth of this transient world , where nothing stays , nothing' belongs to you , him being the most powerful yet the simplest , his beauty beyond worlds and yet decorated with serpent around him , his simplicity , his defiance of worldly norms , him being the naked truth ,had an unfathomable magnetic pull in him , there this atheist kneaded down , realized i was nothing but insignificant dust , the destroyer had put flames to my exaggerated sense of self , tombs were real, funeral pyres was true , he was the truth !

Since then me like my family lineage became a shaivaite , trying to seek him as I still do !

Har har mahadev 🔱

[osheen]

Loners are not strong people ,

We re people with fragile hearts we withdraw from places that can wreck us , we keep to ourselves so we don't hurt again !

[osheen]

It's after everything is wrecked ,ruined ...

You reach this stillness and calm !

[osheen]

वो प्रेम ही क्या जो शिव से ना हो।

[osheen]

Immensely massive but deeply calm !

Breathtakingly gorgeous but terribly scary ...

[osheen]

मन अगर भर जये तो वो मोह है, मन अगर भर आए तो वो।प्रेम।

आकर्षण अगर हो जाये तो वो मोह है , समर्पण आगर हो जाये तो वो प्रेम।

[osheen]

His silhouette is muscular , nd most of all I love his arms, not because they re thick and strong , i m over that by now but rather because they don't give up on embracing me everytime I distance myself, i love his hands that fight for me , his voice that stands up against my critics ,

I was wrong muscles don't make a man seductive, his desire to be with you does ,his urge to protect you does and his understanding of you belonging to him does !

And ofcourse he is finest looking man ever with his dense beard and deep voice , his fair wheatish tone paints him in the best way possible but i am more hypnotized by his unwavering old school loyalty!

[osheen]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

I feel like an old hag now !

[osheen]

smells of cinnamon nd apples , of the contentment and placidity she brings from where she belongs ,

The placidity that comes from simplicity and authenticity...

How not to be enticed by her fragrance of love ?, tell me how not be addicted of her contend meditative vibe ?

[osheen]

smells of cinnamon nd apples , of the contentment and placidity she brings from where she belongs ,

The placidity that comes from simplicity and authenticity...

How not to be enticed by her fragrance of love ?, tell me how not be addicted of her contend meditative vibe ?

( welcome to kotkhai , hp )

[osheen]

Intimidated by it's immense expanse and fathoms of depth ,

If I d be lost here if this massive water body devours me , generations shall not find my remains ....

Yet I am impressed by it's agility to surrender, the way it's offers itself in layers of waves to him is astounding..if nothing else , i d be this sea !

( the most gorgeous morning view i could ever have )

[osheen]

I was fire , from the erupting volcanos

Sometimes I was the volcano , active and regurgitating lava ,

I was also the tides , violent and wild ,

Undulating and engulfing ships inside...

I was seldom the storm , the tornadoes,

Other days I was the venom in the swarm , evrything frost bite or scorching warm !

It's in the dead past now ,

The sea that unleashed the tides is silenced like a zen ,

The tornadoes stoned in discipline ..

The volcanoes and lava , in quietude as if completely frozen !...

[osheen]

Throwing yourself into the night , a lil less careful about running home in time today ,

I have set myself out a numerous times before but I wasn't this liberated unless now ....

[osheen]

Throwing yourself into the night , a lil less careful about running home in time today ,

I have set myself out a numerous times before but I wasn't this liberated unless now ....

[osheen]

I think I have only imparted unjustness to everything one feels , everytime I attempted to write it down .

Words are too shallow to unveil how deep sensitivities run into us !

[osheen]

This cascade of never ending wars has itself transformed me into a weapon ,

All these bruises and leathal wounds do not ache my stoned flesh ....