otioseboy

[otioseboy]

I love spending hours every day cleaning up after everyone and keeping the whole house clean just for my family to get home and trash it as soon as they walk through the door and expect me to clean it up. I've been on the verge of passing out all day and still cleaned and tidied everything despite my own body telling me to sleep and I get nothing from it every time, not a thank you, or even acknowledging that I did anything. I don't want something in return just for them to care, but maybe that's selfish too idk I'm just tired of doing everything for them and still being treated like nothing to them.

[otioseboy]

Every book about PTSD will repeatedly mention how your personality will change after the traumatic event. How this is an indicator that you have the disorder. How this is a universal experience for everyone who suffers from post traumatic stress.

But I never got to have a life before trauma. That person was killed before they were alive. All that remains is a broken shell from where a child was ripped out with violent teeth.

I didn't change from my trauma, because I never existed before it began.

[otioseboy]

my sleep is getting so terrible recently, I feel so light headed and like I'm constantly going to pass out but my body won't let me sleep

[otioseboy]

it’s wild to me that someone can tell a story about a cis man being transphobic to a trans man and then come to the conclusion that the moral of the story is “men are vile”. like, there are two men in this story and one of them is literally the victim of it. how do you think that helps him?

just goes to show that even people who truly want to support the trans men in their life are so deep in the “all men are evil” brain rot that they end up both demonizing the trans man by demonizing manhood and misgendering the trans man by talking about “men” as a group that everyone else is meant to understand he doesn’t belong to.

so much of tiktok (and the internet in general) is just a deeply depressing case study of what happens when you spend the formative years of your life believing that the thesis of feminism is “men bad” and not, like, “all people deserve liberation from gender hierarchies and equal opportunities to thrive”.

“men bad” rhetoric will absolutely never help the trans men in your life; if anything, it’ll just hurt them. so maybe, if you actually give a shit about trans men, leave that rhetoric in the past, especially when you’re specifically talking about a trans man.

cis men are not abusive toward trans men because they’re men and men are evil. cis men are abusive toward trans men because they’re cis and have power over us which they can and will use to assert their place above us in the gender hierarchy. cis women do this too because it’s not something innate to manhood that drives that behavior, it’s the power-hunger of cisness.

[otioseboy]

sorry but i’m tired of books/media with softcore trans guy protags who are wimpy and anxious and never stop thinking about how trans they are and have a flowery little romance with a guy who calls them cute. like that’s all good and fine but where are my trans guy protags who are straight up gross. evil. covered in dirt and blood all the time. give me a trans guy character who spits and kills people and fucks to the death and doesn’t give a shit about shit PLEASE i am begging you

[otioseboy]

As a trans man who has had to put painstaking work into body positivity, body neutrality, and my own sense of manhood, I can't help but feel so bad for men who have, seemingly, never felt permission to have any positive feelings about their body and their manhood.

Yes, body positivity and body neutrality are for you, men. You owe nobody washboard abs, or beautiful facial hair, or clear skin, or unblemished skin, or "masculine" features. Genuinely, you are under no obligation to perform any of it. The weight of those expectations is genuinely suffocating. Let yourself remove that yoke from your shoulders and actually live.

[otioseboy]

I find it funny how radfems will try and persuade me that I can't trust men but I can trust women like all of my worst abusers weren't women.

Or they try and defend their actions because women can't do any wrong, it's actually all your fault 🤡