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packleaderbriggan · 17 days ago

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Yes, yes, yes, YES. I have more that I want to say, but first I want to genuinely know: do you think Conor would ever forgive Worthy for the shit Devin did? Throwing their canon arc completely out the window, if you could do it over again, do you think Conor would - or, rather, could - forgive him?

There is chemistry there, so I can see the appeal of an "enemies to lovers" arc. There is tension, and history, and a push and pull that is absolutely fascinating to play around with, especially with the addition of the "forced proximity" trope.

But, if it were you writing the story, is there a possibility that Conor could forgive him?

Alright, so @ihaveglitterbombs and I were talking about Spirit Animals and I promised I'd make a longer post about some of my issues with the source material. Soooo here it is!!!

Before I begin, I just need to preface this by saying that this is deeply, deeply personal. I was going through some serious shit when I read these books and I inadvertently ended up trauma bonding with Conor's character. I will touch on some of my own experiences, just for my issues with the books to make sense, so here's your warning for:

Childhood bullies

Mentions of the american foster system

Antisocial personality disorder (apd)

Anxiety

Discussions of severe trauma and the effects it has on children

As well as just a general warning for canon topics such as war, canonical character death, and near death experiences

I will also touch on my problems with Devin Trunswick/Worthy, so i just need to clarify this now: I DO NOT HATE WORTHY'S CHARACTER. On the contrary, I actually find him to be one of the most compelling figures in the story. HOWEVER, I am going to talk about the shit he did to Conor in a not very nice way, as well as how I would have handled their conflict if I had written the books.

I will need to reread the last half of Fall of the Beasts before I tackle some of the bigger overarching problems I have, so this post will mostly focus on Heart of the Land. This is my biggest issue with the entire series, as well as the point that most deeply affected me irl, but I will mention some of what else I remember from later on.

Anywayyy, with all that out of the way, HERE WE GO!!!

When I was 4 years old, my parents adopted my two older brothers. Both of them had some pretty severe behavioral problems that led to them relentlessly bullying me. That pretty severely messed me up as a kid, to the point where I remember more of the fictional worlds I immersed myself in than I do of my actual life. Spirit animals, Percy jackson, Guardians of Ga'Hool, Warrior Cats- they were my escape from reality, and it was an escape I desperately needed.

When I was 11 (the same age a summoner would be, mind you lol), my oldest brother was arrested for breaking into the neighbor's house. He was put back into the Foster system because we just could not take care of him anymore. There, he was diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder. What does that mean, you may ask? Well, colloquially, you might call that psychopathy. That's right, I was raised alongside a psychopath with violent tendencies for my entire childhood! *insert finger guns here*

Those experiences shaped me... As intense trauma tends to do. He almost killed us a few times! He tried to light the attic on fire, he was a kleptomaniac, he successfully killed a family pet by breaking her spine and letting her starve to death (rip Rosie, you were a good bunny), and he tried to stab one of his foster fathers while we were going through the whole custody battle/court case mess, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. All that to say I was going through some seriously traumatic shit while reading these books.

You may be wondering how any of this ties into Spirit Animals and my connection to it, so here it is: My default trauma response was the same as Conor's!

The first book, Wild Born, came out in 2013 (I was 8) and I picked it up as soon as I saw it. I literally grew up with these books, snatching each new release up from the library as soon as they came out. I clung to these characters, and specifically to Conor, because I saw so much of myself reflected in him. I *needed* to see someone like me, going through the horrible things he went through and coming out the other side, to have hope that I would be able to do the same thing.

I, much like Conor, primarily feel one emotion: Happiness. We're the sunshine characters, the shy kids with hearts of gold, the people who are loyal to a fault... but below that, there is a genuine fear of allowing yourself to feel anything but happy. You've built your entire personality around lifting other people up, even as you feel like you're drowning. It's become second nature to ignore or repress any emotion that doesn't align with the happy-go-lucky, cheery persona you've created.

That's what I was going through, as I read the Spirit Animals series. I latched onto Conor like a damn koala bear because I felt like he would understand me. It was like: "Here's this kid who always has a smile, who is friendly and trusting and naive, who you just want to wrap in a blanket and squish... And now, we're going to give him a bully that torments him, put him through actual war, make him lose his very sense of identity, and see how fucked up he gets 😃"

You might be able to see how appealing that prospect was to me lol.

Now, with the context out of the way, here's my actual issue with the second series- specifically, Heart of the Land:

They were doing such a good job. Do you remember how changed he was in the first half of the book? If you compared 'Wild Born Conor' with 'Heart of the Land Conor'- those are just two fully separate characters!

'Wild Born Conor' is sweet, trusting, very open, naive, all the qualities you would expect from an 11-year-old. 'Heart of the Land Conor' is quiet, angry, jaded, depressed, isolated- in a word, he 👏 is 👏 traumatized 👏 He's become a boy who has experienced the toll of War and death, but can't yet comprehend The Horrors. May I remind you, THESE KIDS AREN'T EVEN TEENAGERS YET. He's been through literal hell, but his brain is literally incapable of understanding or processing it!!

And how do they portray that? I'll remind you: he canonically has night terrors. He has severe anxiety. He has panic attacks and flashbacks. He's bitter and lashes out at people who get too close. Conor now and Conor then are two completely different people. As I wrote in one of my fics from years ago: "... that person is gone. The person I once was, that innocent little shepherd boy, is long dead and buried. I'm a new person now..."

And they were doing such a good job at showing that!!! At showing that trauma does change you. That going through terrible things changes the way your brain deals with future scenarios! They were doing SO GOOD...

And then what happened? Allow me to direct your attention to Chapter 11 of Heart of the Land. In this chapter, our favorite boy has a nightmare. He wakes up and descends directly into an anxiety attack. Abeke, my dear sweet Abeke, jumps to his side and soothes him and makes sure he's okay- but she does something else too: She kisses him. And not even "true love's kiss"! Just a nice little kiss on the forehead, directly over the scar from the Wyrm.

Initially, when I first read the book, this part was fine with me. Little 12-year-old, aroace spec Me thought "awww that's sweet, these friends love each other so much..." Except that wasn't all. The author just. Never wrote about it again?? It even says it IN THE BOOK:

A LONG TIME???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "A LONG TIME"??? IT'S BEEN- WHAT? SIX MONTHS?? AND HE WASN'T EVEN *WITH* THE OTHERS FOR MOST OF THAT- HE WAS BACK IN EURA WITH HIS FAMILY!!

Okay, gotcha. All you need is half a year, friends who Love you Very Much, and a platonic kiss to heal a child soldier's trauma AND A LITERAL POSSESSION. Okay. Sure. Got it 👍👍

LIKE WHAT????

This book came out in 2017- EIGHT YEARS AGO. Even now, STILL, to this day, it makes my blood boil. I remember walking my best friend home from church events and ranting to her (lol a lot has changed since then🤣) about how upset I was- and I still am!

Anyways, i just graduated college! I have a degree now! What's it in, you may ask? I'll tell you: my degree is in Behavioral Science- psychology, the study of trauma, sociology... THAT IS MY THING. That's what I went to school for, that's what I graduated in, that's what I want to do with my life!!

12 YEAR OLD ME DIDN'T NEED A DEGREE TO KNOW THAT THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE.

It hurts so much, not because they just gave up, but because they gave us a glimpse of what could have been and then just got tired of it?? "Oh, I'm sorry, is my trauma inconveniencing you? My bad, let me just- *un*traumatize myself for your writing ease and convenience!"

Now look. I know it's just a book series. It's not that serious. They're just fictional characters, so why am I getting so worked up about this?

Here's what people usually fail to understand: your brain doesn't know the difference between fictional people and real people. You can get attached to and love fictional characters without your brain ever making the distinction between what is real and what is fake.

I loved Conor... but more than that, I needed him.

I needed to see someone who felt like me: someone who had been scared of showing emotions, finally reach the point where they can't keep up the facade anymore. I needed to see him be accepted and loved, trauma and anxiety and panic attacks and all- *because I needed hope that someone would do that for me.*

But that's not what I got, is it? Instead, I got a sisterly kiss on the forehead, a reassurance that "You're alright", and somehow that was supposed to make everything better??? Somehow that "fixed" every fractured part of him and he was suddenly all better??

Do you have any idea how damaging it is for a kid who was going through everything I was, seeing this character I loved be healed with the Power of FriendshipTM? Do you understand how broken I felt when I tried that... and it didn't work? It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, that I didn't love my friends enough, that my friends didn't love me enough- it made me doubt myself and my relationships because their love wasn't fixing me. I still had anxiety. I still had night terrors. I still flinched at loud noises and tried hiding all of my Big Emotions behind the veneer of a fake smile.

That's the part that hurts the most: that my trying to "fix" myself eventually led to the (completely false) understanding that having trauma meant you were broken or subpar in some way. Instead of teaching me how to deal with it, how to overcome it, how to develop that inner strength to combat my hurts, I was told that Love Heals All and if it doesn't work, you aren't trying hard enough.

Is that really the message we want these books to be giving kids? Cuz I don't think it is.

☆☆☆

Now, this part is going to be relatively short compared to the rest of this post, but it's time we talk about the other part of my issue with canon: Worthy.

The first two characters we are ever introduced to in Wild Born ARE CONOR AND DEVIN. There's been beef between them since literally the first page of the first book.

On paper, the concept of a bully returning as a reinvented individual, redemption arc in full swing, is not one I am opposed to. Hell, Draco Malfoy is my favorite Harry Potter character so the entire trope is not one I am unfamiliar with!

However, here's where the first part of my issue lies: the power imbalance.

It's something that I touched on in one of my other fics: Conor was not *allowed* to portray anything other than meek servitude while he was serving Devin. He was literally an indentured servant, sold to the Earl to pay off his family's farm debt... he was mistreated, neglected, taken for granted-

And then in Hunted, it just got worse! He and Rollan were thrown in the Howling House, nearly killed, then hunted across the Euran countryside by the same boy that tormented him for his entire stay in Trunswick!

AND NOT JUST THAT. It's shown over and over that Devin *likes* hurting people. In that final fight in Lord MacDonnell's garden, he sent Elda after Conor. Once he was wounded, with a literal chunk missing from his shoulder, Devin held him down and would have made him watch Briggan die, if it hadn't been for Finn and Donn taking all of the Conquerers out like a damn bomb going off. Devin didn't want to kill Conor- he wanted to *hurt* him. He wanted to make him feel small and alone and weak- and that has always rubbed me the wrong way.

Here's the thing: 'Wild Born Conor' would have forgiven him. He *did* forgive him- or, at the very least, he wanted to see the best in him, which is why he and Rollan went to Trunswick in the first place!

'Heart of the Land Conor'? No. There is always a point of no return, and i think Devin found that mark- and then just kept pushing until he was so far beyond it, there was no conceivable way he could have come back.

When Devin became "Worthy", he tried to leave behind all the bad things he's done, to try and start things over with a blank slate. He's trying to be better, and we see that he is mostly successful! I do believe that people can change, and I think Worthy truly has...

But it just... doesn't matter anymore. He's pushed Conor over the breaking point, he's hurt him, he's tormented and belittled and threatened and, after a certain point, I think Conor would just. Snap.

Worthy can change. Worthy *has* changed. But it doesn't matter how different he is, or how much he apologizes, or how he's matured and realized that he actually was a massive dick... Conor does not owe him his forgiveness. Conor does not have to forgive him, or trust him, or even *like* him! He. Owes. Him. Nothing.

My brothers hurt me. They pretty severely traumatized me. I wish I could say I didn't understand the whole 'life or death' situation, but my oldest brother *did* try to kill me. (He hid behind a door and tried to jump me- the only reason I made it out is because I could run a whole hell of a lot faster than he could... but that's a story for a different time).

I don't know war... but I do know bullies that thrive on pain. The whole message that was portrayed in the latter half of the books was the power of forgiveness. That isn't necessarily A Bad Thing. However, Conor should never have forgiven Worthy for the things Devin did.

In the comments of one of my fics, I had this delightful conversation with one of my readers:

Just like I said here, even if Conor would be open to the idea of forgiving Worthy for Devin's actions, it will not be anytime soon. He needs to work through all the other child soldier/wyrm possession/war veteran stuff before he can even *think* about dealing with the trauma from his time as Devin's personal punching bag.

☆☆☆

Finally, in conclusion, I am not at all satisfied with the tail end of the second series. I still love the books and I always will, but there is so much I would have changed.

I understand that trauma is a difficult thing to write about, but I would have preferred a half-hearted attempt rather than the complete erasure we got. If you feel like it's too difficult to write about trauma when you're the author of a series about child soldiers, you need to step back and reevaluate what you're comfortable writing. If that isn't something you feel good portraying, *let someone else do it*.

Thank you for coming to my TED-Talk. I'll probably be back with more thoughts later... but I feel like that pretty much covers all the most pressing points.

#spirit animals #spirit animals books #spirit animals book series #conor #devin Trunswick

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packleaderbriggan · 19 days ago

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Would the Heroes of Erdas have the tools they'd need to heal after the wars?

Think about it! We know that each of them comes from vastly different cultures and backgrounds! What kind of tools or resources would each of them have at their disposal? And would they actually be useful, or would it just be a bandaid over a cannonball wound?

Meilin

Meilin is easily the most advantaged of the four kids. Not only does she live in the nation's capital city, her father was also one of the most influential people in Zhong. She is a powerful summoner, a Hero of Erdas, and a respected warrior.

On top of all that, General Teng was, you guessed it, a general! The thought that Meilin was raised around individuals with trauma is not a far-fetched one!

Given her privileged status, I'd venture a guess that she has everything she needs to deal with her trauma at her fingertips... the only obstacle left is her pride.

Rollan

While Rollan lives among the next largest population of the four, I think it's safe to say that he isn't going to be nearly as well adjusted as Meilin. We all know he also isn't the best at asking for help, but beyond that, it doesn't sound as though Amaya particularly cares that much about the young homeless population.

*After* the wars, when they've saved the world three times over, I think Mental Health Resources would be a bit easier to come by. But the time between all of the conflicts? I think he would pretty much be on his own again. Once the novelty wears off, most people will probably go back to looking down on him and the rest of the street kids.

Abeke

While Okaihee is fairly rudimentary compared to the bustling cities of Jano Rion and Concorba, the culture is anything but. While Abeke's people are not war-like per se, they are also fairly well adjusted and accustomed to violence. We know from canon that most Niloan tribes have adopted a kill or be killed mindset. They don't trust outsiders, they're relatively hostile, and they're set in their ways. However, they are also very loyal and attentive to the needs of their people.

While Abeke doesn't really mesh well with her father or sister, that doesn't mean she isn't still loved. The tribe still cares for her, and knowing that they have done things like this in the past, I doubt Abeke's trauma from the war would be enough to make them shun her. They would meet her where she is, and I wouldn't be surprised if some of the older warrior tribesmen would help her work out strategies to deal with everything.

So I think Abeke would be fine in the long run.

Conor

Ah yes, My Boi. The whole reason I made this post to begin with. I have so many thoughts about Conor, but let me get through the analysis first before I get sidetracked.

We can see in canon that Conor is the most drastically altered by his trauma. As I said in my last Meta Post, 'Wild Born Conor' and 'Heart of the Land Conor' are just two completely separate characters.

Conor doesn't live in Trunswick. If you'll remember, he lives on a farm outside the city walls. There's a small village made up of neighboring farms and common folk, but besides them, that's pretty much it. Trunswick is already pretty isolated, which is why Conor and Rollan had to go out of their way to visit on the way to Glen Gavin.

As if all that wasn't enough, we have canonical confirmation. There is one POV chapter where he specifically states that his family loves him, but they just don't understand. It might have been Heart of the Land, but I don't fully remember. I just remember that it broke my heart.

So, with all these details compounding each other, I can very confidently say that our boy is *struggling.* Now, this leads me to the thought that made me sit down and actually write this: Conor and shell shock.

Quick irl history lesson for those that don't know: "Shell shock" refers to the term people used when soldiers returned home from World War 1. These soldiers were experiencing and exhibiting classic PTSD and compound trauma symptoms, and it was commonly referred to as "shell shock", due to the mortar rounds (or 'shells') they were exposed to in the trenches.

Once these soldiers came back, it was very obvious that they no longer fit into the civilian lifestyle. They were often turned away from by people who didn't want to acknowledge the real-life consequences of surviving a mass casualty event.

It wasn't common back then to talk about PTSD or trauma. That is a very very modern development in the social consciousness. You were just meant to get over yourself, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and to go back to normal. What these people didn't understand was that there was no such thing as normal anymore. There is no normal, with everything that the soldiers had seen.

It's not exactly the most shocking thing to discover that when World War II rolled around, there were a vast majority of these Shell Shocked soldiers that reenlisted. They didn't fit in with civilians anymore, so they willingly returned to the only thing that they knew: active combat zones.

I think something similar happened with Conor. He didn't fit in- too changed, too on edge, too *traumatized*- for his family to understand.

Now, just because he came back different doesn't mean they don't still love him. He has one of the healthiest relationships with his parents (specifically his mother) that we see in the entire book! But love can only go so far, and it can't heal the kind of serious trauma a CHILD SOLDIER would experience.

To be honest, I could go on and on about this boy, so I'll just leave this here:

There is simply too much Conor/shell shocked soldier crossover and not enough people are talking about it 🤷🏽‍♂️

#i have so many issues about how his trauma was handled in fall of the beasts #angst #spirit animals books #spirit animals #spirit animals book series #spirit animal #spirit animals series #small fandoms #trauma #meta #my meta #meta analysis #conor #meilin #rollan #abeke #child soldier

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packleaderbriggan · 20 days ago

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TW- Trauma, child soldiers, depression, anger issues, loss, lots of emotions

I can't be the only one who finds the trauma responses that each of the core four exhibit throughout the series absolutely fascinating to study.

Meilin gets angry. She grows as cold as ice, snapping at anyone who gets near her. She pushes people away, isolates herself, takes on a "I'll do it by myself," kind of mindset. It may be counterproductive to the mission or the relationship, but she can't see that it is, too lost in her own emotions to comprehend anything beyond.

Rollan gets quiet. It's unsettling, really. After the first confrontation with his mother, and then again when Tarik died, it was strange to see someone so full of snark and fire reduced to near complete silence. If they weren't stuck in the middle of a war, his depressive episodes would absolutely result in debilitating energy losses, emotional spirals, and total lethargy.

Conor also gets angry, but his is not cold anger, like Meilin's. His rage is hot and seething, explosive if even a single thing tips him over the edge. He almost seems to adopt a "if I go down, I'm taking you with me" approach. In a fight, that's incredibly useful. But with his friends? With allies like Worthy? Definitely less so.

I have to say that Abeke seems to be the most well-rounded, emotionally mature one of the group. While yes, she absolutely does have issues trusting people because of Shane, she is remarkably well-suited to recognize and address her emotions.

It seems as though Abeke is the only one of the four that was raised with an understanding of emotional maturity. Her mother instilled it in her, and she went against her father's wishes to cultivate it and let it grow into a true pillar of her identity.

Rollan did not grow up with that same kind of guidance. Living on the streets of Concorba, his role models were the other street kids, and they clearly had no more guidance than he did. It was a 'blind leading the blind' type of scenario.

Meilin grew up as the most privileged of the four. And yet, she was taught to repress her emotions- And not just the bad ones. She was propaganda for her father and the state, even if she didn't realize it. She was the poster child of one of the highest-ranking military officers in Zhong. She had to be perfect at all times, and that meant showing absolutely nothing.

Conor was also taught repression, but less systemized and more based on necessity. Serving under the Trunswicks meant following arbitrary rules, abiding strict behavioral customs, and showing utter deference to the Earl and his family. Exhibiting any emotion or behavior that went against that would likely result in punishment or humiliation.

The point of this post it to highlight the way I would have written these books, paying much greater care to the emotional mindset and health of these CHILDREN. If these were not kids' books, I can only imagine how much more intense and brutal they would be... And you know what? I'd be here for it.

#my own post #packleader's reblogs #figured nows as good a time as any #spirit animals #spirit animals series #trauma #spirit animals books #spirit animals book series

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packleaderbriggan · 20 days ago

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Alright, so @ihaveglitterbombs and I were talking about Spirit Animals and I promised I'd make a longer post about some of my issues with the source material. Soooo here it is!!!

Childhood bullies

Mentions of the american foster system

Antisocial personality disorder (apd)

Anxiety

Discussions of severe trauma and the effects it has on children

As well as just a general warning for canon topics such as war, canonical character death, and near death experiences

Anywayyy, with all that out of the way, HERE WE GO!!!

You may be wondering how any of this ties into Spirit Animals and my connection to it, so here it is: My default trauma response was the same as Conor's!

You might be able to see how appealing that prospect was to me lol.

Now, with the context out of the way, here's my actual issue with the second series- specifically, Heart of the Land:

A LONG TIME???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "A LONG TIME"??? IT'S BEEN- WHAT? SIX MONTHS?? AND HE WASN'T EVEN *WITH* THE OTHERS FOR MOST OF THAT- HE WAS BACK IN EURA WITH HIS FAMILY!!

Okay, gotcha. All you need is half a year, friends who Love you Very Much, and a platonic kiss to heal a child soldier's trauma AND A LITERAL POSSESSION. Okay. Sure. Got it 👍👍

LIKE WHAT????

12 YEAR OLD ME DIDN'T NEED A DEGREE TO KNOW THAT THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE.

Now look. I know it's just a book series. It's not that serious. They're just fictional characters, so why am I getting so worked up about this?

I loved Conor... but more than that, I needed him.

Is that really the message we want these books to be giving kids? Cuz I don't think it is.

☆☆☆

Now, this part is going to be relatively short compared to the rest of this post, but it's time we talk about the other part of my issue with canon: Worthy.

The first two characters we are ever introduced to in Wild Born ARE CONOR AND DEVIN. There's been beef between them since literally the first page of the first book.

However, here's where the first part of my issue lies: the power imbalance.

In the comments of one of my fics, I had this delightful conversation with one of my readers:

☆☆☆

Finally, in conclusion, I am not at all satisfied with the tail end of the second series. I still love the books and I always will, but there is so much I would have changed.

Thank you for coming to my TED-Talk. I'll probably be back with more thoughts later... but I feel like that pretty much covers all the most pressing points.

#look okay this just started out as a character study but holy shit it got away from me #spirit animals books #small fandoms #spirit animals #spirit animal #spirit animals book series #spirit animals series #conor #abeke #rollan #meilin #essix #briggan #jhi #uraza #meta

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packleaderbriggan · 20 days ago

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@izzyb4642 , this response is going to get waaaay too long for a comment section. You didn't have asks on (smart move, probably) so I'm replying here.

Dead Boy Detectives aired last April. It did pretty well for a show they gave literally no promotion whatsoever. It's a campy paranormal mystery show with extremely nuanced three-dimensional characters, original plotlines, and a lighthearted feel despite being about the ghosts of murdered children.

I also feel like I have to note that it's a really diverse show, since Netflix tends to hate and cancel those - the four main characters are a never-played-for-laughs effeminate gay man, a half-Indian boy who's heavily queer coded, a mixed race Black girl, and a Japanese immigrant. None of them are stereotypes and all of them feel real.

Anyhoo, they leave us hanging for months after the show airs in true Netflix fashion. They NEVER speak about it directly. The show amasses a cult fandom of extremely passionate viewers like myself. Also, there are TONS of hints that the show is going to be renewed. Kassius, one of the main actors, gets a package from Netflix saying they hope the next year is her best one yet. All of the cast members do several interviews, including an hour long one that came out a couple weeks before the 30 August cancelation. Official accounts keep posting photos of the show and characters in their posts.

GEORGE'S CHARITY DRIVE

Alright. This brings us to the week of 10 August, a week we in the DBDA fandom affectionately call "Gameo week." George Rexstrew, who plays the main character Edwin Payne, opens a Cameo account to raise money for a dementia charity in memory of his late dad. We as a fandom raise about $20,000, but that's not all. George spends basically the entire time pepped-up, excited, and promoting a second season (while of course staying completely within the bounds of his NDA.) He clearly is SURE of a renewal, Netflix has clearly told him it's been renewed, and he explicitly said he knows what happens in season 2 and has read the scripts.

Of course, because George is a wonderful and radiant human, we all become extremely attached to him. We also become hyped about season 2 alongside him. Renewal is a safe bet and his energy is contagious.

On 30 August, less than 2 weeks later, a reputable third party source announced that DBDA got the ax. When the cast posted their goodbyes, George only posted " 💔 " on a black background, breaking all our hearts. His goodbye, a week or so later, was even more heartbreaking.

Since then, we have been pests to Netflix. We send mail. We send asks. We comment on posts. We talk the show up. We run our own charity drives. We create art and fic and ensure that this show lives on. We are a kind, nurturing, ever growing fandom. We bought a billboard outside Netflix headquarters for months. We bought space in Times Square for the cast members' and writers' birthdays.

Netflix still hasn't acknowledged our existence OR the cancellation itself.

YESTERDAY

Recently, Jayden, the other main actor, revealed that he was going to have a cameo in the new Sandman season. George was also in photos of the Sandman wrap party. It was a confirmed safe bet that we were getting a cameo.

Unfortunately, the boys didnt appear in either part 1 or part 2 of the Sandman. We figured initially that they might appear in the special on 31 July, but the showrunner of Sandman then released an interview saying he never intended to include the boys:

Basically,

This means that:

Netflix had George and Jayden film a cameo. I assume they originally intended to use it (otherwise why waste the money), but that it was removed after DBDA was canceled.

Netflix let us believe that there was to be a cameo to get us to promote the Sandman and to get us to stream the Sandman. I only planned to stream the episode the boys were in, but I know lots of mutuals who otherwise wouldn't have watched that watched for the sake of the cameo.

Netflix let Jayden (and probably George) believe that they would be in the show, failing to tell them that their cameo wouldn't be airing.

Netflix played us all for fools and used us for their own ends for literal months.

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packleaderbriggan · 20 days ago

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Hell yeah, sounds like a blast!!!

Tags, but no pressure!! @puermiles03 @rogertaylorsconverse @internetgiraffekid1673 @the-archivist-14 @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @amethystandemma @annierachel

self moodboard

search up on pinterest : lyrics, color, character, place, outfit, and aesthetic.

no pressure tags — @gojosoups @kasukuna @angi-of-avalon @baepsays @itadoriest @lostfracturess @norikuna @toadtoru @yenayaps @neovillains + anyone who wants to join in!

#tumblr moots #tag game #moodboard #reblog chain

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packleaderbriggan · 20 days ago

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YUP THAT'S ME🤣🤣🤣 so glad my silly little stories are memorable 😅 I actually have another one in the works right now, but life got busy. I'm moving out for college in less than a month, my parent's house literally fell apart at the seams, and I started writing a longfic for another fandom, so it got put on the back burner.

It's just brief snippets of the 4 fallen basically acting as service animals for their summoners, because they are literally war veterans at 11 years old

I might just have to finish it now 🤭

seething with rage WHY DID ABEKE FORGIVE HER DAD AND SISTER WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY shaking gnawing at the walls foaming at the mouth WHY DID THEY MAKE HER DO THAT SOAMA AND WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS DID NOT DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN AAAAAAAAAAAA. A. AAAA.AAAAA. OKAY MAYBE SOAMA BECAUSE SHE WAS ALSO JUST A CHILD WHO WAS A VICTIM OF THE WAY SHE WAS RAISED, BUT THE DAD MAN. THE DAD. ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I READ THE BOOKS I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT HE DID, BUT I KNOW HE DIDN’T DESERVE TO BE FORGIVEN.

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packleaderbriggan · 21 days ago

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AIGHT, BET!! 🤣 I'll tag you when i do 🙏 I'll need to reread the last few books, but my biggest issue is in Heart Of The Land and no amount of time will ever make me forget the utter rage I felt as a 13-year-old reading that shit. I'll try and get it done tomorrow on my breaks or something cuz I should be asleep rn for work in the morning 😂

... but uh, I do have 3 conor-centric fanfictions posted on ao3, two of which focus on the beef between Conor and Worthy soooo 👀

#spirit animals book series #spirit animals books #spirit animals #conor #spirit animals series

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packleaderbriggan · 21 days ago

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dbda umbrella academy au, anyone?

our 7 hargreaves children are, naturally: edwin, charles, crystal, monty, thomas the cat king, simon, and niko. superpowers are as follows:

edwin - travel. at first, it's just traveling between locations, but he gets this fascination on time travel when he's young. he's sure he can figure out how to do it

charles - knives. he can make any knife his any target from whatever distance -- make them twist in air. potentially related to telekinesis abilities, though he mostly uses it on weapons

crystal - rumor. she can make anyone do, believe, or feel anything, just by saying "i heard a rumor" before it. "i heard a rumor that you stabbed your friends." "i heard a rumor you left forever." "i heard a rumor that you loved me."

monty - shapeshifting. he often turns into a crow to spy on the crime in advance, but he's also known to take on octopus tentacles and kill ruthlessly

thomas (the cat king) - visions. thomas can see dead people. he can see and talk to dead people. and he cannot not see them. there is no escape, only death, constant, screaming- he does not know a life with quiet

simon - strength. simon is incredibly strong. he could lift a bus without a single person loosing their balance. he is named the team leader -number one- when he is six.

niko - no powers - that she knows of. she is capable of releasing incredibly powerful waves of destructive energy, but she is unknowingly put on medication to repress this power

and now, for those who do not know, the plot:

the 7 hargreaves children are all born on the same day, their mothers not pregnant the day before -- spontaneous births. they are adopted by one Mrs Hargreaves (the night nurse) who puts them through intense training in order to become superheros. they fight crime. they are not called by their names, they are numbers. they are prisoners.

one battle, when they are 14, goes wrong. monty dies protecting edwin. it breaks something inside of them. edwin and charles had always been the bestest of friends but edwin cannot handle this grief and he shoved charles away. then, edwin gets fixated on time travel.

the night nurse tells him not to. it is dangerous and stupid. but edwin is certain he can. more -- he needs to be able to. because if he can time travel then he can go back and save monty and none of this hell would have ever happened. so he does it. he fucking time travels.

only, he gets stuck in the future. in the apocalypse, which he finds is set for june 4 2019. the world is on fire. he finds his families' corpses. he picks a false eyeball up from simon's dead hand. he waits.

10 years pass. 10 shitty years and everyone has left the night nurse's home, that horrible violent place, except simon. simon lives on the moon, doing research for the night nurse. simon lives on the moon, and charles is a rouge ex-detective, and crystal is an actress, and thomas runs a cult, and monty is dead, and niko plays the violin. she isn't even first chair

and then the night nurse dies. simon is brought back to earth. everyone meets at the estate for the funeral.

charles and crystal have something that looks adjacent to chemistry. they were in a relationship, once, after edwin was gone when everything was black. they kissed, or maybe that was a rumor, too. thomas does cocaine off of the night nurse's urn. he spills the ashes and when simon finds him frantically trying to scoop the ashes back in, cocaine dust getting caught with it, he does not say a word, just walks right back out of the kitchen and to his own room. a room he has to duck to get into, now

they have the funeral. they have the funeral and niko clutches her umbrella, alone, because no one spares her a word, except for thomas who offers her a high smile, and crystal, who asks how the fuck she has the nerve to show up here.

niko knows the memoir was cruel of her. to spill their secrets -everyone's secrets- to the press. but no one read it. not even the night nurse- her mother. so it's not like it matters. it matters to crystal, though -- crystal, who barely had a bad thing about her in the book. niko hid so much, just for crystal's sake. because however cruel niko was, she knows crystal is ten times worse

they have the funeral and simon and charles fight. they fight and simon runs into the statue of monty and it falls to the ground and knocks over the night nurse's urn, and thomas puts out his blunt in the ashes.

they have the funeral and a portal opens right over the urn and a teenage edwin falls from the sky and collapses right next to the fallen monty statue. he's nearly impaled on one of monty's metal tentacles.

charles starts crying. thomas pulls out another blunt. there is a sea of questions, attempts at hugging, sobbing, but edwin pushes them all off and tells them to shut the fuck up, because the world is going to end in seven days.

no one believes him. he falls out of the fucking sky, in a teenage body because he somehow got the math wrong and so it doesn't matter that he's sixty-eight, he looks fourteen, and he's clutching a mannequin statue named dolores, and no one believes him.

fine, then, he says. i'll stop the end of the world on my own.

charles offers him a place to stay. a place to stay and a home and a shoulder and a hug and all edwin will not look at him. crystal tells charles to leave, that he's making things worse, so he leaves and thomas comes with him because thomas is a little worried that charles is going to throw himself off a bridge.

crystal leaves, too. she doesn't have the time for this shit. simon stays because simon always stays, he has never lived anywhere else, but he does not stay for edwin. no one stays for edwin. no one can. it is too much, to see him again. it is like seeing a ghost. a ghost who does not want to be seen, a ghost who keeps yelling at you, a ghost who refuses to be touched or looked at and cannot be understood or believed.

edwin ends up going home with niko. he does not mean to, he wants to work, but his body is exhausted -sixty-eight years compounded into one second does that to you- and he collapses on her shoulder in the taxi ride back. she strokes his hair softly and says she is happy he is home again, and that the others will come around, they are just in shock, and it is all true, and edwin has no idea she is going to end the world.

#i see your 'Charles as Diego' idea...#heres your friendly reminder that Diego had more power than just the knives #you know what else he could do?#hold his breath... indefinitely #guess how reggie reggie the rat man figured that out #he tried drowning him #CHARLES ROWLAND AS DIEGO HARGREAVES IS ACTUALLY INSANE WORK AND I LOVE IT

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