pandafunkey809

[pandafunkey809]

My Father... I guess that’s what I have to call him.

My father…. where do I begin. Well let’s just start with the most blatantly obvious aspect.

He is one of the most violent people I have ever had the absolute apocalyptic horror of merely being in contact with. Every day he goes to work in a foul mood, and every day he comes home in an even worse one after having let his anger stew and fester in his mind the whole day. Once he is in the car, he doesn’t even have to be home he just has to be on the way and talking to me or my mother or maybe one of my sisters, he will scream and shout and snarl and hit (if he’s in a particularly violent mood) and snap at anyone and everyone within earshot, especially me and my mother first and foremost. It doesn’t matter what he’s snarling about, he will take any question about how his day was at work or his thoughts on something and he will immediately use it to attack us about something. Whether it is something he demands we do that we haven’t done or haven’t finished doing, something he wants to be an ass to us about, or just something he wants to treat as an insult because he can violently skew it into being that way. He gets angry, and not regular angry, he gets violent throttle someone to death in cold blood with the clench toothed smile kind of angry. He has attacked me and my mother as well a few times because he’s angry and he wants to hurt someone because it feels good to him. True once he explodes on someone he simmers down to a mild grumble and MIGHT be able to be convinced to consider MAYBE apologizing them IF HE FEELS LIKE IT; but a day passes and he’s just as awful as the day before if not worse. 

Secondly, he is a drunk. True everyone is entitled to do what they will in their spare time, but in his spare time he is ALWAYS drunk. Sadly it is also the only time he ever acts like a father and a husband. Everyone has told him on many occasions to not drink because he was on a plane and expected to be presentable, he was going to dinner and expected to be presentable and behave himself, he was going to be out in public and expected to be presentable, but every time he has gotten piss drunk to at least some degree. The only exception was my older sister’s graduation because she is his perfect little angel (even though she is the most disgustingly heartless and hateful person I’ve ever known but she is not the subject here) and even then the minute it was over and he was in the car he pulled out a beer and started chugging. He needs help because he is drunk, he needs to be hauled off somewhere to be rehabilitated because he is a violent murderer just waiting for a chance to pop out. 

He hides from the world behind his bible and claims it gives him amnesty to any and all unacceptable behaviour on his part, he’ll apologize for doing something and then do it again not even an hour later, and he views his wife and children as nothing more than his property to do with as he pleases. 

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that yet, my father views his wife and children as his property. His wife as a doll or pet to treat however he pleases, and his children as trophies to prove that he had sex that made people who would get people’s attention but that all their success is due to him putting his dick in a hole. He shows me off because I am (debatably in my own eyes) a good looking guy to say, “Hey look at my son, doesn’t he look handsome? That’s all my doing, not genetics!” He talks about my sisters to say, “Look at how successful my eldest daughter is, she would never be that success full if I hadn’t fucked her into existence, look at all these cool things my second daughter is trying out, I’m so cool aren’t I?” Our achievements are not our achievements, but his achievements in his eyes. Anything he gives us is not our stuff, but his stuff he has given us but it is still his according to him. 

However this greedy and prideful mindset has a fatal flaw. Our stuff is his stuff, but when we lose things he views it as him suffering from it. Our successes are his successes and his alone, but so are our failures. This is why he is so angry at me all the time. I’m, not in college and too terrified to go into it without having had a job beforehand, I’ve been trying for 3 years to get a job and had no success, and though I’m still trying he views this as a failure that makes him look bad and by extension views me as a failure. So he cracks the whip and harasses me, howls at me, snarls at me, and makes violent threats that he’ll says he’ll carry out if I don’t “step it up and get a fucking job because it’s not fucking hard to fucking get one”. All because I’m his failure in his eyes and he just can’t stand that smudge on his delusionally clean record. He also views his wife, my mother, in a similar manner. Sure she takes care of the bills and dinner and cleaning, but because the house isn’t spotless he views her like some stupid mutt who ate the paper and barfed it back on the floor instead of bringing it to him along with his slippers and 8 billion dollars. He treats my mother, HIS GOD DAMN WIFE, like some worthless whore who does nothing but piss about and sit on her ass, but when I act anything like how he does because I can’t hold back anymore I’m a horrible violent person who is behaving unacceptably. We got into this argument and I called him out on it, I said, “You treat her the exact same way, how is that any different?” you know what his response was? His reason for frequent, loud, violent verbal abuse and occasional physical abuse/threats over the past 14 years of my life at a minimum? “SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER, BOY!” …….. this man… no… this violent pig….. thinks that is is perfectly acceptable….. to behave in a way he would never behave toward his mother….. toward his wife…. someone who he made a verbal and physical oath to love and cherish to the end of their days…. someone who he made a commitment to care for and love. If that doesn’t qualify him as violent, abusive drunk who needs the police called on his ass… then I don’t fucking know what is.

[pandafunkey809]

Steven Universe’s New Twist

I was watching a video on youtube of someone shitting all over it and read the comments. One of them had 4 questions I decided to give my perspective on so I thought I might as well post my response to them to tumblr as well because  why not?

1. Why didn’t Pink Diamond break away from the Diamond Authority?

The diamonds are in charge and she was the bottom of the totem pole among them, any attempts to leave or fight for freedom against 3 other (and vastly superior) diamonds would have ended very...VERY poorly. Who knows, maybe she'd have even been shattered.

2. Why was Rose so selfish? She literally told Pearl to never speak of this incident to anyone! She had to deal with this guilt and regret for thousands of year. But it also makes why Pearl was so distraught about Rose choosing Greg. Now I do love their relationship, but I can understand better Pearl's anger and devastation.

She is selfish. She won't admit it to anyone but she wants to see and feel and think only the good things and ignores the bad. She could have become Steven so that she could have a fresh start without the burden of her fears and the prices of her choices even if she was no longer herself. All of her blowups we've seen and how she and Rose have been portrayed, display her as a girl running away from her life and responsibilities so she can be her own personal definition of free (like in any movie where a bride leaves the guy at the altar to run away with her "true love").

In referring to what Pearl was going through Yep, Pearl thought it was just going to be them and their friends forever together. And then rose chose someone that by comparison she had only just met. Pearl cares about steven because not only is he her beloved's child, not only is he her diamond in a new form, but he is also all that she has left of rose. Hence the part of her freaking out over the mere potential of steven existing. She loved Rose too much to let her go or do anything to hurt her and I think she still has a long way to go before she can finally be free of those shackles.

3. How did Rose manage to stay like that for so long?

She's a diamond. She is flawless compared to all of the other gems. I'm not surprised she could hold her Rose Quartz form all that time.

4. How did Garnet not see this?

Garnet sees the paths unfolding before her and those who go along them by how she perceives them. she was not garnet until after the rebellion began and so would only see the futures that can be if rose quartz is who she is to garnet. In short, rose quartz, leader of the crystal gems. She only saw a future where rose quartz might shatter pink diamond and would never have seen pink diamond fake her own death. Remember what she said at the end of S5 Ep.15 "Pool Hopping"? "I think I get it; why my future vision has been so off. I have to change the way I think about you. I've been looking into probable futures where you act like a child; I keep expecting you to abandon responsibility and run to me for help, but you don't do that anymore. Those futures aren't probable at all. There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision, I just need to factor in that you've grown up." Garnet couldn't have known.... because she didn't factor in even the most remote possibility that pink diamond was anything other than the evil pink diamond and that rose quartz was anyone other than rose quartz. She would only be see the futures where Rose and Pink were separate entities.

Your thoughts?

[pandafunkey809]

Drawn Together, I have to talk about it before Killer Tomatoes

Okay, when I first heard about this show I heard the show was shit and that it somehow got a movie. It looked to be of better quality than the Killer Tomatoes show so I decided to give it a watch and talk about it before the seemingly never coming Killer Tomatoes show review. First off, everyone said it was disgusting and horrible.... they’re right about the movie. I saw the film and it was just..... yechhh. the minute I heard, “giant that shits in it’s mouth,” I just stopped looking at the screen. It was awful. The killed off one of the main characters in an impossibly idiotic fashion, they completely disregarded much of the show itself as well, and it generally was just in bad taste and completely humourless.

This is, however, where the show, which came before the movie, differs. The show is very immature and should only be watched by a mature audience regardless of their age, but unlike the film it’s fucking funny not counting a few parts and even an episode or two. Spanky is the jackass friend we all know who thinks everything insulting is funny and doesn’t care who he offends, Foxxy is..... I honestly don’t know how to describe her character but she’s a horny very open minded and generally friendly no nonsense character, Clara is a racist homophobic mega bible-thumper who has as much brain as a flowerpot, Captain Hero is a necrophiliac with as much brain as a mentally impaired cat, Xander is the gay stereotype, Ling Ling is a joke about Pokemon as well as a racist Chinese stereotype that doesn’t speak a lick of Chinese from what I a dumb American can tell, and Wooldoor is just ridiculously silly comedic relief who is a knockoff of Spongebob. It sounds stupid and ridiculous right? Well, it is but in a hilarious way. i don’t want to spoil it if you want to check it out for yourself but let’s just say that if you’re not some “feminist” or just an oversensitive whiner, then you’ll love it!

[pandafunkey809]

Technically it’s morning somewhere and I didn’t specify which

No I’m not, I’m just always tired, forgetful, ADD (literally), too wrapped up in Guild Wars 2 and cartoons, and trying to find a job (fuck the people being picky and expecting every inexperienced worker to be a lazy little shit who won’t do their job or will barely try). Anyways, I’m going to give you my first thoughts on the secret show. First thing is first, I can’t find it in good quality online so I can’t really watch it and see everything on the screen which leads to my filthy mind going off track even if nothing in the show is inappropriate. I watched the first two or three episodes of it and I like it so far. The Director (his name changes every episode so I’m just going to call him that) is such a simple character. His name is changed daily and always to something silly, he is always resting one arm on a fireplace in every situation where he is talking to someone, and his voicing is the kind where I’d love to hear him say, “Oh how very droll.” The main characters are just two buddies doing their job and usually enjoying it, Victor is the fun but very.... cautious main character, the female I can’t remember the name of (give me a break I’ve been watching Drawn Together, Nanbaka, Samurai Jack, Rick and Morty, and youtube stuff AS WELL as playing Guild Wars 2 and going into every store I can find that is hiring and asking if they are still hiring and filling out applications) is a very fun loving adventurous type of person who is very eccentric; and Doctor Doctor is an unacceptably eccentric scientist in the sense where if he really had the job he does, he would have been fired a good while back for negligence. The ideas for each episode is very kid friendly, even a slight bit annoyingly considering it is a show about international spies/secret agents, but what they do with it is actually not bad. A cannon that turns snot into explosives (not going to watch that episode again because it was just gross) martians stealing all of the Earth’s gravity, even some secret thing being stolen by some sort of shapeshifting robot and the day is saved by a tune the two mains sing together. My favourite part off every episode however, is when they show the granny’s fluffy bunny show bit at the beginning. It’s like the couch gag for The Simpsons but funnier! I’ve yet to actually get very far into it but from what I remember of the 2 episodes I saw as a kid and the 3 I’ve seen now it has good creativity and in the end it’s completely harmless if you’re looking for something to complain about though I am willing to bet that it also isn’t really going to do anything unexpected like Adventure Time or Steven Universe does (the only reason I didn’t count Gravity Falls is because the show ended already and on a wonderful note that hurts so good every time I see the finale of season 2, and Wander over Yonder was just hilariously silly in that enjoyable way you can’t hate unless you’re a hardcore pessimist or realist but didn’t do something out of nowhere that blew my mind or hit me in the feels). Do I think I will like it? yes. Will it blow my mind?

[pandafunkey809]

Childhood nostalgia goddamnit

Okay, I was going to work on the first thoughts on secret show in the morning, but when I found this I just HAD to talk about it. When I was little and TVs didn’t need the little boxes to receive digital programs and you just used a button on the telly or the remote to change the channel on the television. Sadly they removed that but thankfully now we get A LOT more content to view. Anyways, back then I was a little kid and Ioved mythology and lore and all kinds of stuff, but it started with fantasy stories, then mythology, then folktales and the like, and then lore. I’m jumping all over the place on the subject because it is almost 1am and I’m tired, but I’ll try to straighten it out. My whole life, I have loved stories. Storytelling is a bit of a dying art when it comes to the telling, but when it comes to the writing and the thinking and the visualizing it couldn’t be any more potent! And my first massive interest in these kinds of things was when I discovered mythology. I used to watch this channel on saturday mornings called discovery kids or cvs discovery kids... I forget what it was called exactly but it had a little bear trap icon that they’d sometimes have eat the logo in the bottom right corner of the screen. Every Saturday I’d see an episode each of 2 shows. Lenny the great white shark (or tiger shark, I forget which it was) which was about a shark walking and talking like we do but still having the body of a shark. Yeah, apparently in the show’s world anything in the sea could talk and was perfectly well integrated into human society. I liked the show just fine but it was nothing to me compared to the next show which is a personal favourite from my childhood, my earliest introduction to mythology that I can remember, that one show I just had to see every Saturday or else nothing was going to be good that week, the one and only..... TUTENSTIEN!!!! Yes, if you knew me as a kid and know me now and asked the question, I LOVE egyptian history and mythology. The Pharaohs, the pyramids, the architecture, the heiroglyphics, the history, the mythology, I love it all! And it all really started (in my opinion) when I first started watching this show. They made sure a lot of the character designs for people and creatures from ancient egyptian mythology looked like the original designs the egyptians made of them! The two episodes I saw the most were the season 1 pilot, and the episode where Tut’s heart is weighed against the feather of truth on the scales of I-can’t-remember-if-the-scales-had-a-specific-name..... come on give me a break, I haven’t looked at my egyptian mythology for a while. Anyways, from what I saw of the show they made a real effort to keep the mythology shown in the show accurate. I will admit that coming back to it it chloe (the other main character) looks a little bit different from how I remember her and sounds ever so slightly different from how I remember her, but overall i remembered everything about it perfectly the minute I watched the first episode again because yes, I have found all 3 seasons of the show! After all, why would I be bringing it up if I hadn’t found it again? Because I’m a productive member of society reflecting happily on his happy childhood? Pfft, as if. Something I did notice that is different from how I remember it is the intro animation. During it, King tut falls and gets wrapped in bandages before falling into his sarcophagus. I remember being able to see his terrified expression so well as a kid and it was always what drew my eyes in that part of the episodes. Now that I’m a lot older, I find it strange that I now notice the bandages wrapping around him more than his expression. Might say something about me or it might not. Either way I loved this show.  the dark atmosphere, the evil villains, the big monsters of an undead variety, king tut’s weird I am king and I know everything childish attitude even though it is the 21st century and he  was before even the first century, the cat’s silly voice and his almost complete and total blind devotion to king tut, cleo’s sassiness and hairstyle, sets growly gargly voice and withered skin, the egyptian art style, the underworld, the egyptian gods, the mystical magical artifacts, the snobby museum curator and his assistant, the cowardly security guard who doesn’t do his job and yet STILL NEVER GETS FIRED, the faithfulness to the egyptian mythology, the fact that the world’s coloring is literally as dark as freaking gotham (heck, the cities are probably next door to each other) except for in the underworld where it looks like they are literally on the wall of an ancient egyptian tomb. I just love it all and I can’t wait to watch it again. I really really really really REALLY loved this show when I was a kid and I might actually postpone the review of the killer tomatoes series for a little bit. (a lot of these old shows [particularly the good ones] are 3 seasons long so it may take a while). However, to anyone who actually views this tumblr, let me know which you’d prefer. I’ll still be posting the first thoughts on The Secret Show in the morning guys, ciao!

Edit: I just realized the heart weighing episode is the 2nd one of the first season. xD

[pandafunkey809]

My thoughts on Dungeons & Dragons

Well, I honestly thought this one wasn’t going to be that great or anything from the start. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do like a lot of things from the 80s but after seeing the Dungeons & Dragons movie I was pretty certain it was just going to be absolute..... well, bland. I don’t look at a cartoon and judge the quality of the animation or voice acting or any of that stuff as much as I judge the story and after seeing some animes with a similar kind of animation that turned out bad I was skeptical. I’m glad I was wrong though. You put on the first episode and it does the intro. All of these kids, the main characters specifically, get on a Dungeons & Dragons themed rollercoaster ride with great enthusiasm (which I find odd as I barely know anyone who plays the actual game sadly but regardless I don’t care). They go in and it is like some kind of fantasy themed house of horrors ride and then they suddenly enter a glowing portal and are transported to the realm of Dungeons & Dragons and there it shows you all of the main characters as well as the roles they play in the party: 

Venger, the main villain (voiced by Peter Cullen)

Tiamat, a the most powerful dragon (who barely actually appears in the show and is voiced by Frank Welker)

Hank, the ranger (voiced by Willie Aames)

Bobby, the barbarian and Shiela’s brother (voiced by Ted Field III)

Presto, the magician (voiced by Adam Rich)

Shiela, the thief (voiced by Katie Leigh)

Eric, the cavalier (voiced by Don Most)

Diana, the acrobat (voiced by Tonia Gayle Smith

Uni the unicorn, yeah it’s a very..... odd name (also voiced by Frank Welker)

and finally Dungeon Master, the wise and powerful jerk who is helping them find their way home (voiced by Sidney Miller

I just realized how many of those voice actor’s names I recognize. Kinda nice when you’re hearing people play new parts.

I very much like the intro because it throws you right into it off the bat.... oh yeah and I forgot one character. Now I’m going to split this into parts because as of the moment I’m writing this review I haven’t finished the third season so today I’ll be going over the characters. Venger is like if Skeletor had a cousin who nobody ever told he was missing a horn on his helmet. He has the kooky villainy part down but unlike Skeletor he has the evil thing down. He isn’t all, “nyeh heh heh!” he’s more of a, “Now you will die. *proceeds to kill you*” kind of character. He isn’t as good a villain the Joker or pretty much any of these comic book villains, but he is still enjoyable. He is always looking to push his own agenda and when he has no choice other than to work with our heroes he will do it VERY begrudgingly (except for one episode in the first season but that was because it was going to potentially push his own agenda)

Lets move on to Dungeon Master. When I was watching the first season all I could say about him is that he is a total dick. He isn’t mean, actually quite the opposite, he is very kind and very helpful and wise toward our heroes. HOWEVER, the plot of almost every episode is that dungeon master knows a way they can get home, on the way he tells them they will have to choose whether or not to give it up in some very sage good of all kind of way and they do have to give it up, they find it and venger or some other kind of evil comes and either stops them or they have to give up their way back home to keep their home or the land of DnD safe. And for the longest time I was all, “This guys is a massive dick who keeps teasing them with ways home so they will help everyone else except themselves when he most definitely knows a way they can get home without all the hassle. However, in the second season they have an episode centered, somewhat, around Eric that relates to this. I’ll get into that in a minute but first I need to go over Eric. Eric is the kind of guy who’ll ditch you when you invite them to a party you’re having and then not care because he wanted or had to do something else. When put in a terrifying situation he will either freeze up or yelp and cower. He thinks he is the better human being in the same way a rooster who has never seen another one will strut around the yard puffing his chest bigger and bigger every day. That said, he won’t leave his friends behind when it comes right down to it unless he believes they’ll get out of whatever is happening just fine (as shown in the finale for season 1). He desperately wants to go home, and is completely oblivious to his own faults until someone gets in his face. Sounds pretty bad no? Well even with all his faults he still has a good heart in him and a conscience that does shine through now and then, even if for the most part he is just self-absorbed comic relief.

However, in an episode of season 2 Eric is complaining as usual about dungeon master and then (speak of the devil and he will come) dungeon master appears and accepts the Eric’s offer to be dungeon master. During this time Eric has all of DM’s powers and wisdom as well as, it seems, his knowledge. The episode pretty much centers around Eric getting used to these new powers as well as using them to find a way home, which they do, but they are wandering without any knowledge of what to do. Part of the time Eric is as wise and all knowing as dungeon master, but at other times it seems he hasn’t the faintest idea what is the best course of action. I believe this could be the same as dungeon master. Where dungeon master has much wisdom from thousands of years of existence, he would appear to not be at all as all-knowing as Eric and the others would seem to believe. It is also supported in part by the fact that dungeon master constantly leaves them only to reappear when they need his guidance. I think he believes that, while he could do it himself, they must find their own way home. Plus he explains to the ranger that everything is connected and he must be very careful of what he does.

I’ve been writing this review pretty much whenever and so I’m going to sum up the characters as I’ve noticed this part is far too long.

Venger is just evil, but when shown kindness or given help he clearly doesn’t understand why it happens, probably because he actively shows he has no interest in doing anything for the good of everyone.

Diana is a strong, confident, and athletic.... I think she’s a teen but she acts like..... oh wait never mind, she still acts like a teen. I like her friendly and generally jovial attitude.... and I will admit her outfit looks both badass and fairly eye-catching.

Shiela is basically daphne from Scooby Doo but younger and smarter as well as looking to help the team and prevent infighting, though just as whiny (at least for the movie daphne)

Eric is (oh wow I just noticed) like a somewhat meaner and much less laid back version of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Really the only difference I can think of is that Eric is boastful, impudent, and willing to take at least the first few steps in the other direction instead of helping his friends (at least until end of the 2nd and the entirety of the 3rd season)

Dungeon master is one of the most powerful players in the realm but is a cryptic jerk pretty much using the children for his own personal interests (regardless of them being for the betterment of the realm)

Hank is the leader who takes charge and the group is lost without. I didn’t like how for the episode with the weird cloud bears he completely betrays who he is for a very poorly thought out part of the episode’s plot.

Bobby is a squeaky kid who really cares about the others regardless of however much any of them may pick on him. He is very emotional, and in my opinion i’m glad they didn’t make him a stuck up unfeeling brat because dammit! more men need to be able to cry in public if they’re feeling miserable without everyone viewing them as a weakling!

Presto (the wizard, ha ha ha ha ha -_-) Is an older squeaky voiced kid who constantly fumbles when he tries to help but really is doing his best to help everyone and be a good guy in general.

Guh..... I supposed I have to do this one.

Uni the unicorn.... It’s a unicorn that makes noises (and then later short words) in agreement, or confusion, or whatever and honestly it is a little weird to say this but.... I kinda like Uni. I’m not some furry faggot who’s going to be jerking off to porn of horses (if you do actually do that then you need help) but I thought Uni was, as a character, kinda cute and the design was also, non-sexually, kinda cute but in a way that made me kinda feel.... odd... for liking how they made her..... him.... I think it’s a her... look. Uni may not have much to do with the plot of literally any of the episodes in the entire series but it’s a nice irrelevant character so I don’t really mind it.... yeah it’s a she, it has to be. Although I do find it a little odd that Bobby likes her so much (I mean, a boy? from the 80s? liking unicorns? I doubt it but I’m not going to say it wouldn’t happen).

Next I will go over the story after a review of my first thoughts on the secret show, both in reflection and as a kinda first time viewer of it.

[pandafunkey809]

blabbering about DnD (before the actual review)

I really quite enjoy this show and particularly the 2nd & 3rd seasons! I mean, I will admit that around the end of season 2 they seemed to be obsessed with giving all of the characters a love interest, bobby, presto, diana, Eric but I think that his was in season one and she urned into a weird hippo thing, you get they idea. The stories in each episode are wonderful, the episode before the season 2 finale was awesome! They’ve gotten sick and tired of Venger constantly ruining their attempts to get home and they decide to find a way to beat him and then in they end they do beat him on their own but don’t kill him because they’d be no better than him if they killed him and by extent HE technically would have won the war, but they didn’t and dungeon master sends him back to rise my son and sends him back to the realm (I’ll bet that Venger is DM’s son because he quite strangely called him my son when he sent him back, and then there was the 2nd episode of season 3 where Venger brings a whole bunch of people from our history into their world and time and there is about 5 other people he isn’t looking for that came out so he just has them all imprisoned and then the guy he’s looking for, a nazi named mueller, comes through and crashes his plain and then the gang meets him and he befriends them and then Venger captures him and he betrays them but then he doesn’t betray them and returns to his time and venger dissipates or something (even though he doesn’t die obviously) and mueller destroyed the portal’s key before going through back to his own time meaning Venger couldn’t summon any more people from our past and it was just so cool! That said, I don’t love the show like both Avatar series, Batman The Animated Series, The Batman, Animaniacs, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, Star vs the forces of evil, and all kinds of other old shows I didn’t see when they first came out and finished airing (not counting The Batman, star, GF, and Steven) but that I heard all kinds of people talking about all over the place. I’m still not going to look at Fairly Odd Parents or that shitty Teen Titans Go crap in a bucket. 

Several months ago I promised to review each season of Chaotic.... I ignored that but will try to get at least one season review every other month at least until it is done. not this month because it’s the 27th.... it’s almost April, I’m working on the DnD review and the next old cartoon is going to be the Killer tomatoes one. Don’t worry though, I WILL get chaotic season 2 out of the way before I do that one.

[pandafunkey809]

What to do.

Hey guys, it has been a while..... well on with my thoughts.

About a month ago I as thinking about stuff. Since I have no job yet (because nobody will hire me because I don’t have professional experience, every phd and master’s degree possible, and haven’t cured all diseases past present and future), no social life outside of my computer (and it gets more painful every day), nothing to do with myself or my life, and whenever I’m left to my thoughts I start falling apart at the seams because they always center around my fear of being alone and my mortality; I decided I was going to start reviewing old cartoons, the mark of a truly sad and desperate human being (no offense meant to anyone who reviews that stuff, I’m just making a joke). So here is the first one of the lineup. Now, I will only be reviewing stuff I can call old in one way or another, such as the series finished sometime last year, it is from let’s say the 1980s or something, or it was just cancelled (if it wasn’t recently cancelled).

That said, if someone wants to suggest a series for me to look at then I’m all ears and more than willing to if I can find it. After all, I have nothing to do 24/7 so why not do something to make other people happy outside of the classic act of killing myself because someone on youtube called me a faggot and told me to do so. The 80s cartoon series Dungeon’s and Dragons will be the first one on the list.

[pandafunkey809]

love it!

Historical Burns

[pandafunkey809]

Chaotic animation opinion

Okay i liked the first season’s animation because it wasn’t great but it fit the show quite well. Then they changed it for the second season.... I have seen this animation style, EVERYWHERE and it really does not fit this show. Rescue Rangers or whatever the heck it was called, it fits fine. This one stupid dino cartoon I didn’t like, sure.  Magi nation, it worked really well with it! Chaotic, god dammit you can’t just change it up like that out of nowhere after ending the first season on a goddamn cliffhanger.

Which reminds me that I forgot to talk about the first season’s finale & the second season’s premiere. FUCKING BIGGEST COP-OUT EVER. Tom and Kaz challenge each other to a match for a chance to go up against the Code master of the drome they are in (code masters not drome masters) However, it turns out Tom cheated and then it ends with tom leaving the city for Perim so that the Code masters can’t ban him from the world of Chaotic. Then in season 2 he is working for bodle the boring and he ends up joining up with some people who scan ultra rare locations and then blow them up. They get caught by the code masters (also maxxor appears but it has no relevance really so yeah) and it turns out *drumroll*...... IT WAS ALL A FUCKING COP-OUT! To start with it was fucking insanely out of character for Tom, TOM of all people to cheat (he’s discount Ash, he would never cheat), the fact that the Code masters knew NOTHING of Tom & Kaz’s plan to catch the bombers was retarded and they should have told the Code masters from the get-go, and to top it all off IT WAS A BIG FUCKING COPOUT WITHOUT ANY SORT OF RELEVANCE! You could have had a completely different s1 finale and a completely different s2 premiere and it would have had the same amount of relevance. We left off Perim with the Mipedians attempting to assassinate the Danian queen (and failing their apparently first attempt) & some weird invincible ooze monster terrifying the location Tom won from his Code Master match! WHY NOT HAVE THE FINALE BE ABOUT THE OOZE AND THE PREMIERE BE ABOUT THE DANIANS AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!?

In short, story= boring people and awesome creatures/beings with a rich history full of wars and magic, main characters that are not very identifiable because of their petty (i forget which number) world problems and awesome characters in the world of perim who you CAN identify with the struggles they experience, and an animation change that was NOT NEEDED. I enjoy the world they enter but the people and the floating city are boring as hell.

[pandafunkey809]

Chaotic character opinions

Okay, enough about the story, how about the characters?

Tom: he is discount Ash Ketchum from the godawful Pokemon anime.

Sarah: A girl who is friends with a gaggle of guys for some reason and right off the bat.... this strikes me as odd because whenever I tried to be friends with a girl she acted like I was very obviously undressing her with my eyes and ignored me.

Kaz: the nerd who loves the dark side and has issues with discount as for seemingly no real reason.

Peyton: He is discount Jack Black..... no seriously, he is a discount jack black. Everything he says sounds like a discount Jack Black quote, everything he does has discount Jack Black logic, even the things he defines as important over others seems like what a discount Jack Black would deem important!

Bully 1: Some white blond snob with pink hippie glasses who thinks he is better than everyone despite having been proven wrong over and over and over and over and over and over and over on many many many occasions.

Bully 2: Discount Jack calls her a witch because she dresses in dark colors, has dark hair, and is a total stuck up brat.

All in all, none of them are very interesting. However, the Creatures/beings they can play as in chaotic are far more interesting. There are far too many to list and describe so I’ll just start with 3. 

Maxxor, Leader of the Overworlders: He has a very strong sense of justice but a stronger one of the difference between right and wrong. He is awesome and he never gives up in the face of adversity.

Kayor or however you spell his name, leader of the Underworlders: He does not tolerate usurpers or dissidents, he is very much guided by his anger and emotions in general, especially his hatred for the Overworlders (which stems from his belief that they stole the Kothika)

Queen Illexia (They didn’t mention her name yet so I looked it up): She seems kind, curious, but when crossed she will not hesitate to punish the offending party or parties. She appears to respect other beings efforts and intent when not committed against her and is willing to reward those who wish to prove worthy of her favour. I get a sense that she will be a future villain though.

Note, I can sum up the human characters with little or no effort and the characters from the world of perim get a proper description. This is in part because I can’t connect with the human characters. To me, a card game is fun but win or lose you’re just fine even if you are missing something by the end. In the show it is like, “OH NO! HE HAS TO TRADE THIS WORTHLESS CARD FOR A WORTHLESS CARD WE’D BE FINE TRADING FOR BUT WE NEED TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT!!! OH NO!!!!! I connect with the creatures/beings of Perim because they actually have problems, for them it IS life or death, if they lose a battle they are most likely dead and gone... PERMANENTLY.

In short, people=who cares, Chaotic creatures/beings=interesting.

In the next one I will talk about the animation.

[pandafunkey809]

Chaotic, boring & dumb or boring & dumb but cool?

Okay, I recently kinda dissed the Chaotic series in my review of Bunnicula and said I’d explain why but I forgot about it and you probably couldn’t care less so I’m shoving it in your face hole today instead of yesterday.

I watched this show a little on channel 5 when KidsWB changed to the CW4kids instead (& 4kids already had channel 13 so fuck 4kids, i loved Saturday morning cartoons until they took over 5). And to be honest I didn’t really find it interesting and for the most part all I saw was monsters blasting other monsters and it appeared that that was the entire premise. Now, I have recently finished watching all of Season 1 so let’s get started with it. Now, I could go on about the whole series but going over each individual episode would be long and boring and I’m not here to bore you, only to annoy you with my opinions. So I plan to watch all 4-5 seasons and review each one.

The Story

We follow a high schooler who is all “hip & cool” with some game name you’d expect a kid who thinks he’s mlg or is just an ass-hole would have. He plays a card game called chaotic (or chaotix? I can never remember) and so does his friend Kaz as well as some other unimportant students. Tom gets a random code and Kaz freaks out telling him this code will allow him to transport into the game, Tom doesn’t believe him and uses it anyways only to find that, holy crap, it is real! Skipping the rest of the premiere, throughout the whole of the series we follow tom, kaz, payton, and sarah (who are introduced later) on their adventures in Perim and in the dromes as well as their quest to beat all the dromemasters or whatever the hell they are called. I don’t really know what to say about it because it is all focused around nerds playing a card game where there are no real stakes other than cards in it. However, that is only in the floating city of Chaotix or whatever the hell it is called that it is dull or boring. Once you get into the world of Perim things get fucking awesome! You don’t just collect cards from players, but you can go out into the world of Perim and get scans (digital cards) of creatures, locations, mugic (special spell junk), and battlegear by scanning the actual creatures, items, and locations! How cool would it be to do that?!?!?!?!?? Life-threatening sure, but FUCKING AWESOME! In addition, though the story for the main characters is very lacking in my opinion, the races in the world of perim are interesting. The Overworlders, the Underworlders (demons and the like), the Danians (bug people), and the Mipedians (lizard men, all of whom can go invisible). The people occasionally drop tidbits of information about the lore of Perim and all I have to say about it is, WHY NOT MAKE THE SHOW ENTIRELY ABOUT THAT?!?!?? No really, who cares about people shouting in a card game when you can see epic wars between multiple races?!?!?!? Anyways from what I understand, at one point overworlders and underworlders lived in peace with each other, nothing is mentioned about the danians or mipedians so either they are rather new to the scene (which would not be surprising) or fuck em they don’t matter. The Overworlders and underworlds were tasked with caring for a massive, ancient, and unbelievably powerful relic known as the Cothica, Kothica, Cothicka, Kothicka, Cothika, Kothika, however you pronounce the damn name! The Overworlders and Underworlders would share this responsibility and take turns managing it. However, one day the Overworlders or Underworlders became greedy and stole the Kothicka, thusly starting a war with the Underworlders or Overworlders. Neither side believes the other didn’t take it and neither has proof that the other stole it. So Overworlders and Underworlders became permanent rivals.

I blabbered too long, I’ll continue this in a moment.

[pandafunkey809]

Let’s Review Cartoons: Bunnicula

A while back I started going over my favourite villains from anime, cartoons, and movies. I never finished it because I’m a lazy git who didn’t bother with it and was more interested in lewd things and card games like some stereotypical fat nerd (except i’m not fat, nor that butt ugly). So I decided I’d start reviewing something I enjoy. Anime, cartoons, and movies, but mostly cartoons. So I hope you enjoy.

Where to begin where to begin. Well, about ten years ago I started reading the Bunnicula series; unfortunately for me I mainly just skipped to the parts with Bunnicula and went back in the book to read more of it. To this day I still have not read a Bunnicula book beginning to end without skipping through it. Then just yesterday, when I was looking for cartoons to watch, I found that there was a tv show of it. The site I found it on listed it as having 9 episodes but really it was more like 4-5 because every other episode aired the same day as the previous one like for adventure time’s episodes. They do 2 stories or 2 parts of a story instead of just the one story for the whole episode (like what they do for steven universe or MLP:FiM). I watched it all beginning to end and it was well made but........ I didn’t really find it as interesting as the books. If you’re a fan of Bunnicula or just the show let me explain before any of you burn me at the steak.

We start with the story..... there is none really. It is the same premise throughout the whole of it, bunnicula has been kinda accepted by chester, howard is too stupid to care either way, and bunnicula just acts like a little child. Strange things happen with Bunnicula always being the cause of it or able to be linked to it, and in the end Bunnicula “saves” the day. Not very interesting sounding is it. Well, it isn’t really. It does have creative ideas to an extent but it isn’t really that interesting how they execute them. for example, In the first episode Chester the cat locks bunnicula in his crypt (which he never had) and unleashes a mummified monkey because he stole Bunnicula’s crypt key from their owner Mina. The monkey chases chester, Chester lets Bunnicula out and bunnicula gives the monkey the key, who gives it back to mina. i know it is a kids show but come on! Both Avatar series were fucking spectacular in story! Adventure time is amazing! Why couldn’t you try doing something like that? Instead we have the looping situations. Something happens because of something else, stuff happens, the something else resolves the things that happen. You could at least have had the monkey mummy attempt to turn chester into a mummy! Even if it was just wrapping him up in bandages! Second episode, they find a harmonica in a shop that raises the dead......fish. Bunnicula steals it and gives it to Howard who, as braindead comedic relief, know how to play it perfectly even though as he himself says, “I didn’t know I could play a harmonica.” The fish swarm the house, Mina almost gets eaten and doesn’t even notice, and bunnicula using very poor looney toons logic saves the day. If it was actual zombies it would have been much more entertaining, but fish?!?!?!?!?? FISH?!?!?!?!? Are you kidding me?!?!?!? Dead fish rising from the grave is lame! In an old black & white horror film it could work but in a cartoon? HOW THE HELL DO YOU MAKE DEAD FISH LOOK CREEPY IN A CARTOON FOR KIDS?!?!?!?!?!? i challenge any of you to find a cartoon where undead fish was actually creepy. If you do find one I’ll eat my words. Episode 3, a spider lamb hybrid is summoned from an evil book, stuff happens and bunnicula makes chester finish a book, thusly saving the day because chester doesn’t seem to know that if it started from him reading some of a book that literally describes what is happening at that moment, that he could just finish it or make his own ending where the spider lamb is defeated. Episode 4, a possessed alligator ghost makes everyone cry so much they will eventually drown in their own tears, bunnicula saves the day; episode 5, howard messes with a time travel mirror and messes up the timeline, bunnicula saves the day; episode 6, bunnicula becomes a skeleton and then zips his skin back on out of nowhere..... well that went nowhere; episode 7, an overprotective ghost owl (the knight owl) makes it so no one and nothing can come near Mina so that she will be untouched forever, bunnicula saves the day (I don’t care that chester got the final blow technically, bunnicula came up with the plan so he saved the day); episode 8, a restless and violently hateful viking possesses Howard’s squeaky chicken and the day is saved by howard having less intelligence than a block of wood and a viking being built up as a big bad villain only to have him be the biggest lamest cop-out I’ve ever seen; Episode 9, Bunnicula was an ass THE END. You see what I mean? I just summed up every single episode as easily as my dad farts and I didn’t even have to try.

The characters:

These are not the characters from the book.

Howard in the book: cautious, a little cowardly, but not a fool.

Howard in the show: He’s as smart as the TF2 Free to plays that try to shoot through glass for the entire match and never move out of spawn, or that run at a charging pyro spewing flame everywhere with a knife.

Chester in the Book: Calm, collected, determined, intelligent, perceptive, unwavering, and above all remorseless.

Chester in the show: A schmuck the world hates, who doesn’t think past oh god what do I do, and who always blames everything on the oddball (with good reason)

Bunnicula in the book: Mysterious, friendly, cute, creepy, and quiet.

Bunnicula in the show: A little kid who thinks the world revolves around him and WHO NEVER CAN SHUT THE **** UP WITH HIS CONSTANT ANNOYING HIGH PITCHED GIBBERISH.

In the show Bunnicula torments Chester for no reason whatsoever. In the book Chester is always plotting how to kill Bunnicula and vanquish the vampire menace. However, if I remember correctly Bunnicula or Chester got hurt and neither left the others side and they became good friends. Either that or chester tolerated bunnicula. first off, nobody in the family knows bunnicula is a vampire toward vegetables let alone at all. In the show they know and they don’t care. In the book Chester makes Bunnicula deathly ill due to garlic and everything says that Bunnicula is going to DIE. LITERALLY DIE. However in the show, bunnicula doesn’t get sick from garlic, in fact he isn’t affected by it at all! In short the main characters are completely intolerable, and no Mina and her friends are more side characters than anything else. The show is one big doofy show of one poorly executed idea to the next. In the book it was actually rather dark for a book about a vampire bunny who drains vegetables of their juices, in the show it’s silly and stupid and it is not that good. If you’ve seen the show, then read the books, if you’ve read the books, watch the show at your own discretion, if you’ve done both then remember this is my opinion and everyone is entitled to one.

The animation

It looked fine, but again it was really goofy looking. It’s pacing and style was more akin to the animation of the show Chowder and not something I’d expect when I see a show titled Bunnicula. When I see that name, I think dark but not super dark. Heck, Chester tried to kill Bunnicula with a steak in the books! (now you get the burn at the steak joke). Bunnicula didn’t like it but Howard made him stop because Chester was a cat in every sense of the word just as Howard was a dog in every sense of the word. In the show I see yogi bear and Kaz from Chaotix, not Howard the dog and  Chester the Cat, and for Bunnicula I just see a kiddie version of CL4P-TP and not the real Bunnicula. They made it too cartoony and silly and didn’t make it more dark and harsh. I expected something with a setting similar to Batman the animated series (but in a house and not all of Gotham).

Final opinon

I didn’t like the show but it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. That place would have to go to Breadwinners for lack of creativity or decency, Angel’s Friends for no effort, and Chaotix for uninteresting main characters.

REMEMBER, THIS IS MY OPINON. BY DEFINITION IT CAN NEITHER BE WRONG NOR RIGHT BECAUSE IT IS ALL SPECULATION AND PERSPECTIVE. I’m not good with words but you get the idea right. Just because you think I’m wrong doesn’t mean you are right just as me not caring doesn’t mean you won’t put in your two cents about how I suck.

Have a good day people.

[pandafunkey809]

It’s October so yay.

Okay, I like to watch a horror series or a bunch of horror movies in october but at the moment I can’t think of any I’m really interested in. So guess what guys, it’s cartoon time! I’m planning on going over Beetlejuice and Danny Phantom over the course of the month and I have a review (and I’m pretty certain i’m using the term rather loosely) of the cartoon version of Bunnicula. However, before I get into that, I’m going to talk about a show I keep misspelling the name of that I’m probably going to be bashing a lot in the future or using as an example of something bad or poorly done in my future reviews. I’ll explain why tomorrow as well

[pandafunkey809]

actually I’d probably pay to see that.... if I had any money at the moment.... or a job at the moment...

A lunar ape*. C'mon Jay.

My bad.

[pandafunkey809]

damn the bouncy beats are too fun

[pandafunkey809]

FUCK YEAH.

Some points to remember as an artist who is getting harassed over content:

The Harasser probably isn’t an artist, otherwise they would just make the content they wanted to see, and would understand art and artists enough to know that content controlling is bullshit.

The button that silences this person has more power than this person will ever have. Use it. Blocking people who upset or offend you is A-okay. And the only way you can see them getting their diapers in a twist is if you go looking, which is on you. You control what you see and do, no one else.

These people wouldn’t do this in person, so remember they’re cowards behind a computer thinking they can just get what they want. They can’t. They’re not allowed. 

You worked years for what you have. Have it.