patolemus

[patolemus]

update on chapter 18 of the rewrite the lines au: we’re at around 2.5k words which is… not a lot, but it’s coming together in between my endless readings for uni hehe

here’s a small sneak pesk for you lovelies:

He’s still not sure how things happened at first. His memories from when he was possessed by the Nogitsune are hazy, as are the ones of what came next. That’s a period of his life he knows only in vivid nightmares and thoughtless moments where he finds himself speaking japanese and using ancient spells long lost to men.

It’s not something the rest of the pack ever really liked to talk about. That was a hard time for all of them, and Stiles still has a feeling that there are things Void did while in his body that he doesn’t know about, things that had his friends freezing mid motion sometimes when Stiles did certain things. Stiles had caught his dad tracking him with his eyes, a wary look on his face like he wasn’t sure if the one in control of his body was truly his son.

It never hurt any less no matter how many times it happened, but Stiles doesn’t hold it against them. What little he remembers is enough to make him shiver, and the hazy memories of what he doesn’t paint a pretty awful picture.

The only one that never did any of that was Derek. He’d been especially supportive in the aftermath, shielding him from the world while Stiles tried to piece himself back together with the scraps Void left behind. Back then Stiles hadn’t been able to put a pin on the reasons, too busy figuring out how to be a person again. But looking back that had probably been what solidified the bond that’d been growing between them for months, forged in life and death and bloodshed, tested by water and magic. Stiles anchored himself in Derek, using him as a point of focus when everything else in his life was lost in chaos. And Derek, who’d been betrayed and abandoned by everyone else in his life, leaned on Stiles’ loyalty, used it to settle his wolf when anger wouldn’t work anymore.

They’d lived in a weird limbo for a while. The whole pack did. The tentative hierarchy they’d established before the Alpha Pack and Void came along was all but stripped bare, reworked in the wake of all that destruction. After all that, things like petty school rivalries and playground bullying felt inconsequential.

Stiles changed. The pack changed. Derek changed, and maybe that’s what made it all come together. While Stiles tried to sort through his broken memories, Derek managed to glue their makeshift, broken little ragtag pack back together. By the time Stiles was well enough to hold a conversation without getting lost in ancient Japan, the pack had slotted into a working dynamic that almost seemed like it could last.

have fun with that ;)

[patolemus]

academic weapon? more like academic train wreck

[patolemus]

Hmmm…

[patolemus]

i am so happy to be able to say happy monday again! thank you so much for your patience and here you have chapter 17 of the rewrite the lines au!

[patolemus]

ok but what else would you use it on if not for the betterment of the little gay men

[patolemus]

all hail the glow cloud

"i asked chat gpt-"

well I asked the Glow Cloud (all hail) and it emitted a low whistleing and dropped a lizard on my head.

[patolemus]

guys this is not a drill, i finished my first round of edits for chapter 17 of the rewrite the lines au and i could cry omg the adrenaline i feel right now is euphoric

[patolemus]

sometimes i think about Stiles and Derek spending a night together, making love and discovering eachother before Derek leaves Beacon Hills. And it’s Emotional™️ and intense af because maybe it’s Stiles’s first time and he begs Derek to be his first because he doesn’t want anyone else to be his first and because he’s going to leave anyway and he could at least leave him with Something because they both fucking know they have this thing together. they both feel it. and if they cant have it for long they could at least have this one thing, one time, one night.

Derek caves obviously because damn if he doesn’t want Stiles under him at least once and he wants to be Stiles’s first, wants to make it good for him and maybe, just maybe, make it so good for Stiles, he’ll never forget him.

So they take it slow, Derek takes his time taking Stiles apart and they’re both trembling and covered in sweat when Derek enters him. and maybe Stiles cries when Derek fucks him. Because it’s good, so fucking good and he can’t believe he’ll never get to have this again. He also cries because maybe this was a mistake, because Stiles’s heart feels like its gonna explode and when Derek looks him in the eyes as he thrusts into him soft and slow, Stiles sees all of his own overflowing emotions mirrored in Derek’s eyes and his heart can’t take it.

Stiles’s tears breaks Derek’s heart a little. Because he gets it. He feels the same even if his eyes aren’t shedding any tears. It’s killing him. The idea that he’s going to leave this town without Stiles. But they both know it’s for the best. This has to be enough. Derek will repeat it to himself over and over until he ends up believing it. This one night with Stiles is enough.

Stiles comes on choked sob, so hard he almost blacks out and Derek follows a fraction of a second after him. He holds Derek’s head to his heart afterwards. And he’s sure Derek knows he’s crying, it’s not like he’s being subtle about it, he’s even sure Derek can smell his tears but he doesn’t comment on it. He just holds Stiles and lets him play with his hair almost compulsively until he’s all out of tears and he’s stopped hiccuping.

When Stiles finally falls asleep, Derek gets up and cleans them both and makes sure Stiles is tucked in properly before leaving. He decides to leave the henley he wore the night before at the end of the bed. He doesn’t really know why he leaves it, knows he shouldn’t but he’s doing the hardest thing he’s ever done and this little gesture soothes him. He leaves after taking one last look at Stiles under the covers of his own bed in the loft. Fresh marks on his pale skin that will stay for days if not weeks. They’ll show anyone who looks that Stiles was his if only for just one night.

Stiles wakes up to an empty bed, a strategically left henley and a broken heart.

[patolemus]

OMG STOP THISSSS THIS IS MY FAVORITE OF YOUR WIPS I’M BEING FED SO WELLLL

And what do you mean that Stiles left? What do you mean that they needed him??? AND WHAT WILL HE FIND IN THE PRESERVE??

(We know what he’ll find in the preserve lol)

Monday WIP

the absolutely incredible @endwersed tagged me last week (thank you so much!) and I really wanted to share something even though I've been really struggling to write recently!

So here's something from the small strange town au where Stiles is finding everything really fucking weird (he nearly ran over a red eyed monster the night before) so he calls Scott because what else are best friends for.

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“ – And then she warned me to stay out of the woods. With teeth!” Stiles concludes.

“Wait, did you say teeth? What about her teeth? What did she do with them?”

“Well uh… she wasn’t threatening to tear my throat out or anything but there was definite baring. Like teeth baring. Grrrrrrr, you know?”

Scott makes a sympathetic noise. “Dude, that town sounds weird!”

“Yes! Thank you!” Stiles exclaims, loud enough for a passing dog walker to glance over in alarm. “That was totally what I was thinking,” he says lowering his voice. “This place is sketchy as hell.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Ah. The million dollar question. It’s funny really. Stiles had been expecting Scott to tell him to get the hell out. To get back on the road and come home. All his answers had revolved around how to nicely explain why that wasn’t going to happen. Instead the implication is the choice is his and Scott has accepted that. So something really strange happens when Scott asks Stiles what he’s going to do – what he wants to do. It all becomes strangely clear.

“I gotta go look Scotty. If I walk away now, I’ll always be wondering what if? You know?”

“So you’re staying.”

“I’m staying.”

Stiles exhales slowly, a previously unnoticed weight lifting off his chest. He’s staying. Thousands of miles under his belt and here’s where he wants to stay? He doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

“Any idea how long for?” Scott asks after a moment and Stiles can hear the question underneath the question – it’s the one his dad asked him last night.

When are you coming home?

“Dunno. As long as it takes I guess. I know what I saw, you know? But I gotta figure it out. I won’t rest until this mystery is solved,” he declares dramatically, ignoring the squirming seething guilt in his stomach.

The voice in his head hisses viciously.You left them. They needed you and you left them behind.

He is a terrible friend.

He clears his throat and focuses on Scott’s laugh, fingertips anxiously worrying at his sleeve.

“Well don’t be the girl who kicked the hornets nest or anything,” Scott is saying and Stiles is so surprised by the reference he momentarily forgets his guilt.

“Hey – look at you with the ten years out of date thriller reference. Honestly Scott, say it again. Reading is a sexy look on you. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little turned on.” He pauses for dramatic effect before adding, “You haven’t read it have you? It’s Melissa's, isn’t it? ”

“Hah, yeah man, I just saw the title on mums night-stand. Memorized it to freak you out!"

“Well mark me down as horny and impressed Scott.”

Scott is laughing and it’s like something has eased in Stiles’ chest. It’s reassuring to know that the distance doesn’t matter. Scott remains a constant. And he can stay, here, in fucking… Beacon Hills, California of all places.

“So… You’re gonna go investigate then?” Scott says and Stiles can hear him get up and start walking.

“Yeah. Yeah I am. Those eyes man, I wish you coulda seen them.”

Scott huffs a laugh. “Yeah. I don’t. But I believe you!”

Stiles will never tell Scott how much he needed to hear that. “It was so fucking creepy Scott… I’ll let you know what I find.”

“Alright – just call me in the morning or something. I don’t need nightmares again. Nothing like the last time you dragged me into some woods please.”

“That was a one off!”

“Well let’s keep it that way dude.”

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Gentle no pressure tags to @violetfairydust @patolemus @gege-wondering-around @jadezdominion @all-or-nothing-baby and @endwersed

[patolemus]

to everyone who’s tagged me or sent me a dm i’m not ignoring you i just saw the notification while i was busy and told myself i’d answer it later but forgot and kept remembering when i was busy and now it’s been long enough that everything’s piled up and it gives me a lot of anxiety to even see it because it’s very overwhelming and i don’t know where to start :)

[patolemus]

got tagged by @gege-wondering-around for this month’s receiptify!! So here you go

[patolemus]

ao3 is down somebody sedate me

[patolemus]

OMG THIS IS AMAZINGGGGGGG!!! Consider me officially hooked

Snippet of the ghost AU!

so, i worked a little today and got arpund 1.1k words for this AU (im like still at the very beginning of the first chapter, but anyway) and i wanted to share it with y'all just because i can!

also, i wanted @dontcallpanic to see this for herself and see if she liked it 🤭🤭🤭

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“Stiles,” an annoyed voice reached his ears before he could pinpoint where it came from, “wake up or you’ll be late for school.” Groggy and with a particular desire to make her shut up, Stiles rose from his bed with the grace of a minion having to go work in the mines for the Sleeping Beauty.

Throwing his body around on the bed allowed his feet to touch the ground while he remained sat on the edge of it, brows crunched in a scowl as amber eyes stared not too amicably at the woman before him, or what was left of her anyway. “For being a damn ghost who has decided to leech on me for dear life, you sure don’t have a sense of loyalty to either me or my wellbeing.” Hands rubbed away some dust from tired eyes, focussing back on the woman.

She stood with crossed arms and one of her typical looks of disappointment. “I don’t owe you anything, Stilinski. You know as much as I do about the reason I’m attached to you in the first place.” Her figure remained still before the open window while Stiles mentally took notice of how the sunshine passed through her; it was almost delightful to see if it wasn’t for her grumpy attitude about school attendance.

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so, this is the little bit I'll share with ya before the first chapter comes out (when? dont ask me) and so, I'll leave y'all with this!

plus, maybe @patolemus will be more interested in this than Dead Heart (i promise darling, this time no MCD or sad ending, hand over my heart) and maybeeeee also @jadezdominion will like this! you all will lemme know with time and if you'll want to share your thoughts with me!

[patolemus]

Last Line Tag Game

the wonderful @gege-wondering-around tagged me and I refuse to let this sit on my drafts gathering dust for a month like usual, so here's a sneak peak of the rewrite the lines au ;)

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And Derek, who’d been betrayed and abandoned by everyone else in his life, leaned on Stiles’ loyalty, used it to settle his wolf when anger wouldn’t work anymore.

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softly tagging @dontcallpanic @hedwig221b and @salty-fryingpan and whoever wants to do it!!

[patolemus]

teen wolf timeline i curse you

[patolemus]

life is wonderful and i fixed my issue with the chapter, so here you go lovelies! *serves you chapter 16 of the rewrite the lines au* have a happy tuesday!!!

hello beautiful people! i know you were expecting the rewrite the line au update post buttt i’m having a few issues with chapter 17 and i don’t want to post chapter 16 until that’s cleared up because of. reasons

the chapter is written though so it shouldn’t take me too long to post it

[patolemus]

unspeakable by finchfeathers (basementmixtape) and i regret you all the time by inevitablestars, these are MASTERPIECESSSSS but they will in fact break you

i know there are so many jegulus fics where regulus joins the order and/or spies for them, but are there any where james joins the death eaters?? for his beau???

i just need james ❝i'm Extremely Normal about the object of my affections❞ potter dropkicking his morals off a cliff for regulus.

i am begging for dark!james fics. especially longfics. 😭