pegafin

[pegafin]

Over the River and Through the Woods

A special AI generated Thanksgiving home

Are you a grandma looking for the perfect house for the whole family? Give them a Thanksgiving over the river and through the woods, in this charming new-build from a bygone era! Enjoy acres of woodland property with picturesque wildlife, including pumpkins and wild hand-turkeys. 9 bed, 6 bath, original linoleum flooring.

Quaint veranda foyer with attic.

Front Hall

Cozy den with microwave-TV (left), and meat & eggs parlor (right)

Fully enclosed sunroom

Formal sitting-kitchen

Intimate dining room with meat and whipped cream light fixtures.

Auxiliary dining room

Back side hall Bedrooms for all the grandkids! 🤩

Sumptuous bedrooms for all the grown-up relatives!

This room has a Thanksgiving hadrosaur, and a mistletoe fixture 😘

...Even a room for your least favorite in-laws!

And now 🥁 the rooms where all Thanksgivings finish: 🚽The Bathrooms!🛁

Old people know exactly what that bathroom fixture with the red trim on the right is! 😎 …Amiright, old people? 🤔

Who remembers these bathing fixures, from back in the day? ✨Very unique and timeless finds for any collector!✨

Charming powder-mud-room

Updated master bath, with nesting swags for wild backyard birds!

🥚 🎄Call now to book your tour today!!! 🦃🥚 ☎️ ☎️ ☎️

Behind the Scenes:

[pegafin]

Suburbs & SUVs: the One Page RPG that Started It All

Fig. 1: my official Suburbs & SUVs rule sheet You may notice something unusual about the homes I create: the interior shots appear to be photographs of three dimensional spaces, while the exteriors do...not. Why, you may ask? Well, it all started with a game. A saw a meme (fig. 2) about a hypothetical game called Suburbs and SUVs, an RPG for fantastical RPG characters to play that takes place in our boring, non-magical world.

Fig. 2: Reddit screenshot (as posted to r/dndmemes) of the original Suburbs and SUVs Tumblr thread spawned by @writing-prompt-s.

But horribly and tragically, no one had made a publicly available rule sheet for this imaginary game yet 😭 And so I heroically took matters into my own hands, and made my own... ✨ (see fig. 1)

I chose a simple, elegant, 3d6 system inspired by Grant Howitt's one page RPGs. You may be familiar with some of his work--much of it available for free--such as Honey Heist, Goblin Quest, and (my personal favorite) Sexy Battle Wizards. I decided to illustrate the rule sheet with kids' drawings of McMansions and SUVs, but I really, really didn't feel like making my own that day, so I AI generated some. And as soon as I saw the results, I had a glorious, transcendent epiphany: ✨ I must generate full interiors for these abominations, and craft them into real estate listings. Real estate listings that entrance and repel, real estate listings truly worthy of McMansion Hell. ✨

And that is why the McMansion exteriors are children's drawings, as generated by AI. So please, enjoy Suburbs and SUVs. Share it with your D&D group: give it to your characters, and l̴͈̈e̶̫͗t̸̜̾ t̷̗̚h̵̤̀e̸͓̊m̴̹̏ p̵̯̓l̵͍͋a̵̱͋y̶͍͌. Oh! And please oh please tell me how it goes!!! 😃

...̴̢̱̫͇̦̀̈́I m̴͖̈́u̴̮̓s̵͙̎t̸̝̋ k̶͇͛n̵̠̫͆ȍ̷̜̓w̷̩͊ h̸̙͊ö̷͈́͒̅̀̃̊͜ẉ̸̠͙͈̀̌́̂͊̚ͅ į̶̈́̆̎̈́͑t̵͍̻͔̽ ģ̷̥̮͎̳̲̊̍̃͛̿͋̊͂͜͝ǫ̵̧͕̳͎̰̮̯̮͇̼͈̙͚̱͎̬͌͐̆̀̆͛͒̅͑̊͊̊̔̊̊̌͘̚͝͠ͅḙ̴̘̯͕̈́̑̽͊̏̉̉̓̓̓̅̈́͘̕͝͠ͅş̸̺͚̣̗͍̺̠̳̫̙̩͎̬͎̣̲̺̙̤̀̔̌͗́.̴̢̱̫͇̦̀̈́.. ̴̖̣̈́

Thank you!! 😊😘

[pegafin]

Pumpkin Spice Tudor Revival

Latest McMansion idea from the @mcmansionhell Discord chat was:

pumpkin spice Tudor revival

And I... I think I may have done something horrible... 😱🎃☕️ May the spirit of Autumn have mercy on my soul 😨🍂

Stunning, pumpkin spice-flavored Tudor revival. Brewed with exquisite attention to detail and only the finest finishes, this classically-splendid custom home is as rich and decadent as your favorite autumn treat. 13 bed, 13 bath, 7.48 gallons per square foot.

Sloosh and slosh your way into timeless luxury.

A parlor fit for Pope Georgg Buosh himself.

An...um...uh...unconventionally appetizing kitchen 😰 Simply oozing with, uh, elegance, and---and ooze... 😰😰😰

Slide into the warm comfort of the eating nook!!!! 😰🥵

...d-d-dining-room…you-touch-it fully-clothed-I'M FINE! 😱😭😭

…And now, we slide on over to the ballroom to glide the night away. 😊 ✨

Be the boss of the manor from your stately home office, whether you're a boy boss or a girl boss.

Master suite with genuine caramel ceilings:

Additional bedrooms:

Mother-in-law suite, with kitchen!

A master bath so sweet you could float away...✨

Additional Bathrooms:

🎃 Call now to book your tour today! 🎃 ☎️📞🤳

[pegafin]

Bounce House Farmhouse Chic

I asked the @mcmansionhell Discord chat for a nice, simple prompt for this AI generated McMansion. They gave me:

Farmhouse Bounce House Chic

Inflatable farmhouse-style home. Four bedroom, five bath, three grain silo, 3107 sq ft of inflatable fun. Pre-fab never looked so fabulous!

Bounce into charm with this vaulted entryway. Charming double slides replace stuffy staircases, and lead to a pair of decorative balconettes.

The gothic revival living room boasts up-cycled ceilings and an open-air fireplace.

Charming old-world kitchen, complete with fireplace and shower stall.

Formal Dining Room

A palatial master suite.

Brand-new addition, with classical wood burning stove.

Attic space with cozy fireplace. Perfect for a nursery!

Plus, an obstacle bedroom that must be seen to be believed!✨😲

Guest Bathroom

Attic bathroom with his and hers sinks, plus a little one for the little ones!

Master bathing suite, with canopy whirlpool.

Call now to book your tour today!! ☎️📞🤳

[pegafin]

The Process

Here is how Pegafin Realty homes are built:

Find my prompt. Decide what kind of home I want to build.

Ai generate the facade and interiors using NightCafe.com

Painstakingly sift through the images, curating the exact right ones for this home and its story myself, with my own human brain. Maybe 1 in 20 images the engine spits out makes it into the finished product.

Write the real estate listing blurb, and necessary captions to help my prospective homebuyers understand and appreciate the…things they are seeing. I write these myself, with my own human brain and hands. As AI generated structures, Pegafin Realty homes take a fraction of the time you’d need to render a home through typical methods. However, they are a crud-ton of work. Like, an irresponsible amount of work (six hours on average). Why do I do this? I don’t know. It just happens. T̴̻͉̿̎̒̎h̶̩̦̲̑̍̍̄̏ė̶͙͈̇̍̎͒ ̵̱̖̃͒̀͝h̶͚̆̄͠o̴̧̝̳̺͔̻͐m̶͇͕͖͇̲͒͌͌̀̐e̴̡̘̫̝̰͑̔̈́́͆̀͜s̷̅̌̐͝��̳͒ ̴̫͖̻́͆͑̉͠͝m̷̼͔͍̀͂͠͠u̷̝̥͊š̷̛͔̎t̴̡͙̘̞̓̔̄͌́̄ ̴̦̦̙́b̴͍̀̄́̾̍͠e̶̠͊ ̸̨̝̟̔b̸̯̪̀û̸̲̦̝̲̙́̀̀̃i̶̩̠̾̓̃̿͛l̶̠̗̳̘̔̐ẗ̸͎́̅.̴̧̼̓͌͆̅͋̑

[pegafin]

Ai Generated McMansions: Key West Dreams

As a wholesome treat in honor of Mother's Day, I asked my mom for a prompt for this McMansion. She said "Key West." Key West is a very special place for me and my family. It is a truly amazing place, full of rich, exciting history and culture, and art, six toed cats, and wild-living chickens everywhere you go. Only once you have experienced Key West can you truly experience the depth of today's abomination...✨🏝️🍹

Built by a couple who always dreamed of living in Key West, all attempts to build the home in Key West itself ended in suspected arson and historical protesting (as in, myriad characters from the island's long storied history rose form their above-ground-graves in the Historic Key West Cemetery to protest construction).

Now happily located in Sadslot Beach, FL, this home is a true Key West dream. Discover a charming bar around every corner. Bask in a cacophony of color and craftsmanship. Plus, all artwork is included, and load bearing!

The atrium-style foyer boasts quintuple grand staircases and a charming water feature, full of native mosquitos.

Did you think the craftsmanship stopped at just two stories? Think again! This foyer goes all the way up.

The triple-decker living room (left) and the bar & lounge (right)

Live like vacation all year round with a kitchen that's only bars!

Slide into the formal dining room...

...and crash into the game room!

No game room is complete without a functional home sports bar.

Master Suite

Two Story Atrium Suite

Two Story Atrium Guest Room

Guest Bath, with his, hers, and theirs sinks, and his and hers toilets!

Entryway to the master bath, with master bath bar.

Two-Story Atrium Master Bath:

Last but certainly not least… 🌟Indoor Pool & Tennis Complex!🌟

Call now to book your tour today! ☎️📞🤳🏝️

Behind the Scenes:

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: Capybara Axolotl Viral House!

I once again asked the @mcmansionhell Discord chat what they wanted for the next house. Received the following, very specific prompt:

tiffany glass inspired atria with capybara and axolotl ponds in the conservatory

I knew this would be a challenge, and ran a high risk of turning out "awesome" and "good" instead of "atrocious" and "an abomination to God and architecture" like the content you've come to expect from this blog. Fortunately, I think I found a rather elegant solution...

📣Attention real estate community!📣 As we all know, millenials are horribly, horribly, gruesomely "un-aliving" home ownership, amongst other industries. The slaughter must be stopped. So today, Pegafin Realty brings you a house so young and hip--so on fleek--that millenials and gen zs will be left helpless and scrambling to get this house to slide into their dms for instagramable moments go viral!🤩

Located in TikToc, this 15 bed, 14 bath new built has it all! Dive into countless indoor water features, overflowing with #trending capybaras and axolotls. Share instagramable moments around every corner. There's something for everyone to smashthatlike!

The selfie foyer is so young, so hip, you will fleek your pants to the moon.

Step into one of the as-of-yet-uncounted Tiffany glass living rooms and see the truth:

The house is the pond 😱

i̶͖̠̬̱̹̖̎̋̈́̾̉t̴̢̏̄ ̸̤̲͍̋͐̊͝i̵̢̮̯̦̘̐͋̉̈́̇̈ͅs̸̪̈́̍͜ ̷̡̍̉̓͠ä̴̻̟l̶̢͔̱̙̗͐͑l̴̥̘͊͊͂̒͑͝ ̸͙͐͌͛͛͒̂͘ͅͅt̸̹̀͂̀̏̎̎̀h̶̢̖͇̏ë̸͖̥́̀̉̚͘ͅ ̷̨̤̹̙͇̺̩̣͗̎͂̀̿̔͒͘p̴̢͓͇̯͍͋o̶͉̩͖͋̔́́̈͗́͠n̵̖̥̦̫̘̣̪̞͌̀̚d̴̨͕͓̖̍͐̒̈́ͅ

p̵̥̳͑͑̕ ̴͙̙̯͈̭̆̚ȯ̸̡̬͇̳͓̥̍ ̶̣͐̀̓͊͝͠͝͝n̸͎̻̲̈́̕ ̵̞̘̮̬̳̖̉̾̀ḑ̶͕̬̙͍͒̎͋͆͒̚͝

The open-labyrinth concept kitchen is the perfect backdrop for any culinary influencer. Featuring only the finest, most delicate all-white countertops and fixtures for a clean, modern look, and built-in gelatin holes for that vintage flare.

To prep the food your family actually eats, experience the robust, mossy, slightly less all-white auxilary kitchen. T̶̜̾̅h̸̡͖͂e̴̼̋̆ÿ̶̰̗ ̴̣̂̍à̷͉̔r̸̎́ͅe̵̺͔̎ ̴̱̦̏͝w̴͕̞͑a̴̡͒t̴̗̗́c̵̠͋͝ḧ̷̨͔́i̸͕͌ń̵͈g̸̠͆̀ ̶̢̛̙̒ỹ̴̲̪o̶̢͇͂u̶͉̪͌̽ ̴̺͓̉c̵̥̯͐̿o̶̲͠ŏ̴̖ǩ̴ͅ.̷̱̈́

The dining room, and the axolotyl and/or capybara creature that lurks within.

The conversation pit

The master bedroom! Drenched in natural* light, and a thin layer of water. So fleek, so viral you'd swear there's real giant viruses floating on the ceiling and/or sky and/or the two dimensional space inside the window panes.

*Pegafin Realty is required by law to disclose that nothing about the land, subsurface, or air space on which this this property is situated is natural.

Master Bath Complex:

Additional bedrooms:

One room features a custom, built-in easter egg hunting green! Perfect for the kids 🤩

The 16* bathrooms are simply overflowing with all the most must-have Millenial and Gen Z bathroom things intended to hold liquid. Coin ponds, slime bins, soaking tubs, and receptacles so young and hip no human minds have yet to conceive of them! 🤩

*at the last count

Finally, we finish our tour in the Bathversation Pit. Prospective buyers are welcome to take a soak, take a selfie, and 🤩 be sure to tag us 👍 under penalty of u̶̼͛ň̷̝͎ï̷̭̒ṋ̷̢̏t̶͖̺̓e̷͓̗̔ĺ̷͙l̴̻̳̅̾i̶̪͌ģ̵͆͘i̵̡̓b̸̻̈̽l̴͚̑ͅé̸̮ͅ ̶̮͝!

So [instantly obsolete communication app no one asked for, but the investors were just soooo proud of themselves so lets let them have this, okay?😁 ] now and book your tour today!!!🥳😍🦫

***bookings only available through blockchain. Everything has to be blockchain, ya dingus---e v e r y t h i n g!!!🥴🤪

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: New England Eldritch

Note: these images were painstakingly generated using NightCafe, then lovingly curated by me. You can follow me on NightCafe @Pegafin for even more abominations!

Splendid New England style home, just steps from the beach. Lovingly renovated from a central 19th century bungalow (still inside somewhere! Will you be the one to find it?), this coastal escape boasts a mysteriously multiplying number of rooms, and a fully functional, long purple tongue.

Foyer

[WARNING:Undefined liminal space]

Kitchen 1

Kitchen 2

Bedrooms:

Bathrooms:

[pegafin]

4th of July McMansion Special: Full Sized Images!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the full-sized images of my resplendent 4th of July Mcmansion! Read the original @mcmansionhell Discord conversation that spawned it here.

Presenting 🥁🥁🥁 If The Song “Stars and Stripes Forever” Blasted Directly into Your Earholes was a House: A Farmhouse Chic Colonial Symphony 🎺🇺🇸

We enter the stately colonial foyer, and behold the ✨majesty✨of The 4th of July Tree (please cry now).

Oops! Looks like there was a bit of a balustrade crash there lol 😅

Close up of the non-euclidean side table.

The living rooms, true Reflections of America.

⭐️ THE DINING ROOM HATH BECOME UNTO A FLAG! ⭐️

The kitchen boats a pair of elegant and patriotic live fish chandeliers. ✨

Close up of the "faucet grunkle," a classic and normal part of any kitchen.

Charming eat-in nook!

Master Bedroom 1, which boasts a charming pair of 4th of July trees.

Master Bedroom 2

Child's Bedroom

Spare Children's Bedroom

Spare Spare Childrens' Bedroom

And now 🥁🥁🥁 🎆The grand bathroom finale!🎇

🎼From the French stuff🎶

🎶To the His and Hers🎶

🎶to the Peeing is a Spectator Spooooort🎶

🎵God bathe America!🎶

Our home sweet home God bathe America!

Our hooooome sweeeet hoooome! 🎆��🎉

[pegafin]

4th of July McMansion Special! 🤩🇺🇸

Last 4th of July, the @mcmansionhell Discord chat joined me on the most magical 4th of July journey I ever experienced. Now, today, in honor of the day after American Tax Day, I will share that journey with you...✨

To see the resplendent, full sized images of this patirotic 4th of July home, click here.

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: Historic McManatee McMansion

As you may know, one of our brave realtors became stranded in The Manatee Kingdom when the house they were showing floated away and sank into the swamp, despite the home's super-buoyant 100% styrofoam frame. While they figure out a way back home, there are plenty of homes to show in this strange new land!

Call to book your tour!**after we figure out where The Manatee Kingdom actually is and how to get people there and back ☎️📞🤳

Historic Manatee Kingdom Historic-District home, simply oozing and sloshing with character!

Masterfully renovated using traditional techniques and materials, including woven mangrove roots and authentic, historic, artisanal EIFS. Live close to nature with seven indoor/outdoor bathrooms and yummy mangrove grass on every ceiling.

Foyer:

Grand...stair...thingy:

Living Rooms

Living rooms from the original structure. Note the original wall-less and ceiling-less design...

...and the home's original uvula, lovingly restored in 1935!

Living room in the modern addition, featuring a built in idol to the Elephantine Mother Goddess (worshiped by manatees, dugongs, elephants and hyraxes):

Kitchen

Enjoy an inveritable archipelago of kitchen islands...

...and grazing slab for casual dining!

Dining rooms

Formal dining grotto, with salad built-in to the ceiling:

Outdoor dining space with floating, fully detached roof!

Bedrooms

The master bedroom suite is both sumptuous and snackable:

Bedroom 2:

Bedroom 3:

Bedroom 4, with original live-in bedroom "person" included!

Bathrooms

Live close to nature with traditional indoor-outdoor bathroom experiences!

So call now to book your tour, and make your own piece of Manatee Kingdom history today!!* ☎️📞🤳

*also please call if you know where The Manatee Kingdom actually is, and how to get people there and back.

[pegafin]

Sometimes a poll only has one right answer...😎

[pegafin]

Pegafin Realty Goes to The Manatee Kingdom!

As you may know, our brave realtor recently went missing when the home they were showing became detached from what the owners had assured us was a "foundation," and floated away to an unknown fate.

Pegafin Realty is now pleased to bring this 🌟 Breaking News:🌟 Not only is our real-estate agent alive, they ended up somewhere truly spectacular…. Spectacular with investment opportunities! 🤩 🤑 Behold: ✨ The Manatee Kingdom✨

After over 96 hours of tense radio silence, Pegafin Realty received an email from our agent—full of these remarkable photos!

After floating out into the Florida Everglades, the Fort Swampsbutt property filled with water and sank to The Manatee Kingdom: an unrecognized independent monarchy, previously thought to be mere legend.

There, our agent found an inexplicably habitable atmosphere and many friendly locals.

Sadly, the property was deemed "maritime salvage" under the local bylaws. It was promptly set upon by manatees, which each slowly scooped up a chunk of McMansion in their manatee mitts, and leisurely floated off to sell them at auction.

But our brave realtor was not deterred. For they had found themself in a land of rich investment and real estate opportunities for you and your family! As they search for homes to show, here's a sneak peak at everything you can expect, should you choose to make The Manatee Kingdom your home!

Bustling downtowns:

Historic neighborhoods:

Community:

Luxurious gated developments:

Unusual shopping opportunities:

Legend has it that The Manatee Kingdom is not merely for manatees, but built of the bodies of ancient fallen manatee titans:

High-tech industry:

...And many hidden gems.

AAAH NO! IGNORE THIS LAST PICTURE!!! 😱

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: Indiana!

I asked the @mcmansionhell Discord chat where in these great United States our next property should be from, and the result was...

Indiana 🥳

Modernist jewel surrounded by iconic Indiana floating-trees. Dubbed The House of Seven Foyers by the local architectural community, this home is a gaping cavern of openness and midwestern hospitality. 3 bed, 2.5 bath, 7 foyer, and the rest of the 7500 sq ft…eh, that’s up to you.

Guests are greeted by a modern yet charmingly traditional foyer. A space so open and welcoming they can glimpse the entirety of the first floor, as well as some of the second!

[s p a c e s]

Kitchens on either end of the house!

The second floor foyer is bedecked in stately railings.

The House of Seven Foyers is the first home in the United States to be both a church conversion and a new construction.

Additional bedrooms:

Each full bath has a foyer of its own!

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: Bird Sanctuary

I asked the @mcmansionhell Discord chat what kind of AI generated property they would like to see from Pegafin Realty. They asked for:

Bird Sanctuary Conservatory

and

Greige

And we at Pegafin Realty delivered...✨

Stunning conservatory-style home located in 54 acres of pristine bird sanctuary. 7 bed, 35,604 window, and infinite bath, because everywhere is the bathroom when you’re a bird.

Grand and verdant entryway.

Over 57 unique sunrooms.

Active garden kitchen, complete with soil and worms.

Dining en plein air.

Bedrooms

Call now to book your tour 🦆🦜🦤🪿

[pegafin]

AI Generated McMansions: Gone Country

These images were painstakingly generated using NightCafe, then lovingly curated, by me. You can follow me on NightCafe @Pegafin for even more abominations!

Howdy, folks--we’re goin’ country today with our #Ai Generated McMansion! 🤠 But have we gone too far…? 😨

Charming modern farmhouse with plenty of land, complete with eyestalks and distant planetary body unknown to astronomers! 7 bed, 5 bath, 2 kitchen. Cathedral ceilings in every bedroom!

Come home to rustic charm!

Space for the whole family.

Twice the kitchens for twice the extended familial hordes!

Literal cathedral ceilings in every bedroom will leave you feelin' #blessed*

*#blessed feeling not applicable during winter months or while pondering heating bills

Sumptuous master bath, inspired by the luxurious La Quinta Inn ballroom.

Family bathing complex with fully carpeted hot tub!

Call now and tour today. Hope to see y'all real soon! 🤠

[pegafin]

Horse Shrine Bonus Content and Important Lore!

In a previous post, I showed you the grace and majesty of the Horse Shrine McMansion. When I showed the home to the McMansion Hell Discord chat, they had some remarkable observations...

The Cheval de Boeuf is a storied and elegant addition to any country home. Rumored to have come to England through the Norman Conquests all the way back in 1066-1071 CE, the French vehemently refuse responsibility for this piece of decor.

Finally, we have three very special bonus images to finish out this charming cauchemar.

Horse of Damoclese:

Horstine Chapel:

???:

Thank you, and may your home overfloweth with Cheval de Boeuf ✨🐴